Help on Email Wording

Discussion in 'Job Seekers' started by NewTeacher05, May 29, 2012.

  1. NewTeacher05

    NewTeacher05 Rookie

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    May 29, 2012

    Hello,
    I know I've posted 5 too many times, I'm a TA at my school and I know my P has teacher openings for next year. I've asked if emailing him to express interest is OK on this board and after talking to 2 co-workers about it today, they both told me to e-mail and set up an appointment to talk to him. So I'm super nervous and I'd like advice on how to word it.
    Here's what I have so far:

    I was wondering when would be a good time to speak with you about the vacant teacher openings for next year? I’m very interested especially in the possible third grade position you have available, I’ve enjoyed working with the third grade team and learning the curriculum when I’ve helped them out for coverage this year. Thank you!


    Does this sound ok? Thank you guys!
     
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  3. AlwaysAttend

    AlwaysAttend Fanatic

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    May 29, 2012

    I didn't like the flow personally.
     
  4. mopar

    mopar Multitudinous

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    May 29, 2012

    I might say something along the lines of discussing your future in the school district and school. I'm not sure that I would mention a specific position unless that is the only position available. You don't want to limit your options and what if the position moves grades?
     
  5. HOPE-fulTeacher

    HOPE-fulTeacher Comrade

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    May 29, 2012

    I think you could make it a little more assertive...the wording is a little weird to me.

    ie: I'd say something like "Could we set up a time to speak with you about the open teaching positions for next year?" or phrase it as a statement..."I was wondering if we could set up a time to meet about the teacher openings for next year."

    It just sounds better to me...:2cents:
     
  6. NewTeacher05

    NewTeacher05 Rookie

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    May 29, 2012

    OK, does this sound better:

    Could we set up a time to speak with you about the open teaching positions for next year? I would love to discuss my future at (school name) and what I could bring to the staff as a certified teacher. Thank you.
     
  7. mopar

    mopar Multitudinous

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    May 30, 2012

    Sounds much better. I would change the first line a bit...Could we set up a time to speak about the open teaching positions for next year?

    **I don't think you need the you, sounds awkward.
     

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