HELP ME!

Discussion in 'Job Seekers' started by acuttii, Mar 15, 2007.

  1. acuttii

    acuttii New Member

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    Mar 15, 2007

    Please critique my cover letter for me!!!
    I am open to any advice
    Thanks

    ___________________________________________________
    March 15, 2007



    To Whom It May Concern:

    I am very interested in applying for a Mathematics teaching position within your school district. I am confident that my experience, education, and skills would be an asset to your students’ learning and development. Please consider this letter and enclosed resume my official candidacy.

    As you can see from my enclosed resume, I received my Bachelor’s degree from California State University, Long Beach. I am currently enrolled in the credential program at California State University, Northridge. During my student teaching experience at Sepulveda Middle School (LAUSD), I instructed Pre-Algebra based on the standards, delivered the district’s curriculum, implemented a positive discipline plan, and developed positive relationships with students, parents, teachers, and administration staff. This experience gave me the opportunity to establish my own teaching beliefs and strengthen my desire to become a teacher. Other than my student teaching experience, I also have worked as a Teachers’ Aide and Mathematics Tutor at after school program.

    I’ve chosen teaching as a profession because I enjoy hard working and helping others find success. I believe all students have the potential to succeed in the right environment, and understand it is my goal as an educator to provide that environment. My philosophy of education is based on a student-centered classroom in which I use a variety of teaching techniques to meet the students’ various learning style.

    I feel that I have the qualifications, the knowledge and compassion to fulfill the requirements for a teaching position within your school district. Please contact me at your convenience. I can be reached at xxxx or xxxx@yahoo.com. Thank you for your time and consideration.

    Sincerely,
     
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2007
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  3. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Mar 15, 2007

    HI and welcome!!

    As another math teacher in an otherwise brutal job market, I can tell you that the outlook for you is probably good!!

    As to your letter: If it were mine, I would take out some of the educational lingo and replace it with a little about you: your background, your experiences. One or two anectdotes about successes you've had in class will go a long way. Figure they know what student teachers typically do, or can get a good recommendation when they call your references. The trick here is to get them to actually call those references-- to make them want to meet you in person.

    So tell us one or two of your favorite student teaching stories. What was your favorite part of the Pre-Algebra syllabus? Did you get your kids to finally understand negative numbers? Were they able to solve a two-step linear equation? Did even one stop being afraid of math because you were in the room? These are the things that will bring YOU into the letter, as opposed to the things you were required to do as a student teacher.

    Best wishes!
     
  4. tripletsteacher

    tripletsteacher Companion

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    Mar 15, 2007

    Hi, I am not a math person but read that the # 1 mistake of a cover letter is addressing it--- To Whom it May Concern: I was told to do everything possible to find out exactly who the letter is going to and address it to that person. You may have to call the places you are sending to and ask each of them who to address it to. I agree wih Alice on everything else.
     
  5. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Mar 15, 2007

    That's a good point.

    You also want to include a little about why you want to work THERE. What about that school or district makes it special? You can almost always find something on their website.
     
  6. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    Mar 15, 2007

    Tell 'em about the student who broke your heart and then remade it - given the level of raw terror that often accompanies math and what you've been up to, you're bound to have at least one story like that.

    Are you Foundational-level or full math?
     
  7. AnonyMS

    AnonyMS SpEd Para! BASE room aide! RTI Facilitator!

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    Mar 15, 2007

    I'd remove the entire 2nd paragraph entirely since it says, "As you can see from my enclosed resume..." - if they can see it there, then don't put it in the cover letter.

    Also, in the last paragraph, insert a "the" before "compassion" since all the others have "the" in front of it.

    I was always taught to keep a cover letter short.
     
  8. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

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    Mar 16, 2007

    Hi Acutti,

    I am by no means any kind of expert like the others on here and I hope I don't sound too critical.


    I started editing it for you but then I stopped because, honestly, I didn't think there was anything special about the letter except the fact you teach math (which is a good thing!) Every buzz word and teacher adjective was used but there is nothing about you.

    What I did after getting suggestions here (and a lot of them) was read mine over and ask myself how the reader would remember my cover letter? I know it is hard but when you rework it a few times you can get a story in there that will help them remember you as "the one who got that new student who didn't speak English to understand ______________-by using the ______."

    Can you talk about what you actually, physically did while student teaching? Can you talk about how, while teaching a difficult or new concept, you used manipulatives and a real world scenario that helped kids have "oh now I get it moments"? Or some other win and then transition into how that ..."strengthened my desire to become a teacher"

    I also wouldn't use the words "official candidacy". I think your use of the word compassion is fine but I would make sure that it is backed up with the story you choose.

    Hope this helps a little.
     

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