Ugggghhhhhh......being a step mom is so hard!!! My husband's 16 year old spends every other weekend with us. He is not a behavior problem but is a typical teen who sometimes doesn't think about others. On Christmas Day, he threw a tantrum because he thought we would surely get him a car for Xmas. He was disappointed that we did not and told dh he thought he didn't want to come back anymore. The rest of the kids sat out in the living room alone while we spent HOURS talking to him about life, rules, etc. He said he had only continued to come because he thought he was getting a vehicle from us. He also admitted to ridiculing gifts that I get him and bad-mouthing me every drive home with his mom when he leaves on the weekends. His mom is an alcoholic who allows him to come and go as he pleases (no rules, curfews). She has always felt threatened by our family values and so she has spent the years convincing him that we don't do enough for him, that we are rich and could get him whatever he wants (I WISH), that we are dumb, too strict, etc. The weekends he is here (this is one currently), I lose my entire home. He stretches out in my husband's recliner and watches MTV or football the entire weekend. If my husband comes into the room, my husband sits in a little uncomfortable chair in the corner because heaven forbid we ask him to move or change the channel. The other kids have been raised on respect. If the other kids and I are cleaning....nope, not him. Last weekend, he watched through the window as my husband and son cleaned up the entire backyard. He's untouchable though, and he knows it. The rules don't apply to him because my husband is so preoccupied with him WANTING to come. It came to a head this morning. DH and I had a big talk about balance and what we are teaching him when we allow him to dominate the house. DH is unwilling to change. He does not want to discipline him because he feels like he already wants to stop coming. He wants his weekend to be "comfortable and welcoming". So, instead, I watch my husband crack silly jokes hoping to make him laugh. I watch dh work hard at a relationship while this kiddo thinks, "Wow. This guy is a joke. I've got him in the palm of my hands." It is sooooo silly and so unlike my husband's typical way of parenting. But, heaven forbid, I say anything. I'm banging my head against the wall, guys, and getting more resentful by the minute. Give me some advice, I know I could do things better from my end but I think I'm losing perspective on the matter.