Sorry I haven't posted in SO VERY long, but when you read this, you'll know why. I teach in a VERY low income urban minority school. Most of my children are wonderful, and come to school with great attitudes. However, I have three (of 16) FIRST graders in my REGULAR education class that are about to drive me to drink. :help: The little girl is just nasty (mean, not dirty). She is cruel to her classmates, hitting, spitting, saying ugly things, stealing & tearing their things up, etc. She curses at me daily, and her middle finger flies with astonishing speed and regularity. She steals from me and tears my teaching materials up. I have spoken with mom (no dad) many, many times, and she has been disciplined in a number of different ways, from loss of privileges and/or treats to time out to mom-sanctioned spankings in the office to ISS, all to no avail. The other students won't have anything to do with her, and during recess, she has to play with students from different classes because she has made herself so unpopular in our class. I have tried everything I can think of, including being so nice it makes my sugar go up (diabetic here), and nothing has helped. She returns from visits to the office with the statement "See, I told you nothing would happen!" or cursing me even worse. One of the boys has gone from being a relatively well behaved, beautiful, pleasant, impish, almost on grade-level student to a full-out, uncontrollable bully. Some of this is (I believe) from over exposure to my third "angel" but I don't know where the rest is coming from. He literally crawls and rolls around on the classroom floor, does wrestling dives onto other students, takes other students things, tears them up, hits, scratches, and even bites his classmates, and the other day he began punching my arm when I reached to regain my teacher's guide that he had taken. If he is supposed to be on the computer,he is (literally) climbing the lockers. If he is supposed to be doing seat work, he is assaulting other students or on the computers. There really doesn't seem to be a pattern to this. Some days, he is FABULOUS! (I mean an A in conduct.) Others, he doesn't even get in the classroom door good before he is off and (literally) running. I used to allow bottled water in my classroom for my students (it cuts down on the water runs), but I have had to discontinue that, because this child takes a full bottle of water and uses it like a baseball bat to clear tables or to hit other students. When I try to take him to time out or escort him to his desk or the office or whatever, he literally becomes a stone, refusing to move and telling me no. He has done this with other teachers lately as well. The other boy is beautiful, almost brilliant, charming, and (I think) ED, possibly ODD. He will also come into the classroom running, grabbing things, hitting students, etc. Sometimes, however, he will be a model students for a few minutes. Then something will set him off, and he's into a HUGE tantrum. Let's see, one of his tantrums last week was because he used (what he thought was) the wrong color on a (free-choice, fun) coloring sheet (!), and I didn't have an extra copy to give him to start over. Another was because another child from another class (in the hall) looked his way. Another was because he was playing with another students and missed the first word in a spelling activity, and I asked him to wait until we had gone through them all and I would go back through them (standard practice). I never know what will set him off, but once he is off, it's almost impossible to calm him down. I have tried walking with him, calmly "talking him down" (let's breathe, come on "X" let's count to ten, let's step outside for a minute (or into the hall, or whatever), this isn't the way to get what you need, etc. I have tried everything I can think of. He has been referred to the social worker, the behavioral interventionist, and the counselor. His mom claims to be working with me, but I haven't seen or heard from her since Christmas. I have "extra" high-level (fun) work for him, but he doesn't let me get to the point! He throws (literally) chairs and desks, and has hurt several other students, and (of course) nothing is EVER his fault. He has been "referred" to the office TWELVE times, but the most that has happened has been a one-day stay in ISS, which he likes. He has destroyed my classroom MULTIPLE times. Last Thursday, he had a meltdown and I had to usher the rest of my students to the hall for their safety. The security officer has repeatedly asked ME why this child is still at this school and not in some other program. I have no idea. Our administration is more concerned about keeping the "bad" numbers low than helping this student or assuring the safety of my other 15. Lately, I have stopped referring students to the office (I have been fussed at for doing so, because it is my classroom management failure), and have just been keeping my hall door open so that other people could see that: 1) I am not yelling or screaming at my students (I have been accused of doing so), 2) these children are uncontrollable and are dangers to other students, and 3) I am TRYING to teach. Recently I have received some moral support from other teachers. One asked me how much I was documenting these behaviors, other than the office referrals. Unfortunately, I don't have TIME to document things, because I am too busy pulling them off of each other or trying to fit teaching in between their fits! Wednesday, I had all three of these kids running around, erasing my board, grabbing stuff, etc. It is insane. Like I said before, most of my students are (relatively - they are first graders, after all) well-behaved. However, they see that nothing happens to these three, and they can't help but begin to act out. I have one child who is so stressed that he has begun shredding paper in his desk. I am 46 years old and have had LOTS of experience in the "world," having had many different jobs over the years. This is my first year teaching, however, and I feel like I have stepped into hell. I am beginning to wonder if I should even be in a classroom, something I have wanted my entire life. Any and all suggestions (and prayers) would be greatly appreciated. HELP!
Oh my! I really can't think of anything you haven't tried. But I will most certainly send you some hugs and prayers. I am really sad to hear that admin allows students to curse and hit you with no consequence. You are an amazing teacher for doing all you can with this challenging class.
Nana, This is where having a supportive administration and grade level peers is essential. I'm sorry you don't have that. I know in my school if a new teacher were having this much difficulty, one of the more experienced teachers on that level would offer to take at least 1 of these students. This way we could actually determine if it is the lack of classroom management skills (if the behaviors go away in a more experienced teacher's class, then we know we need to provide more support to the new teacher so she can be successful) or the child would continue to behave in an out-of-control way with the experienced teacher (which would be proof-positive that special services or a special placement is in order.) I simply can't imagine that your administration hasn't already tried this (even on a short term basis.) It is very hard for a parent to fire back "It is the teacher!" when the same thing happens in another (tried-and-true) teacher's class. Hang in there! The old saying "that which does not kill me, makes me stronger" definitely applies here.
Wow. I read every word with my jaw in my lap. I don't know the laws, but what if you videotaped yourself teaching? I imagine that might be illegal, but maybe it could help with the documentation? Bless your tired heart.
Oh.....my....gosh! I am SO sorry that you are going through this. Your students' safety is at risk here and the administration is not securing their safety. This should be against school policy! Do the other parents complain? If they do, TRY to document this and show the administration that these kids are affecting your students. Once again, I am truly sorry that you are going through this. I will be praying for you!
I really do appreciate all prayers and advice. I am trying to document. Luckily, the two boys are in ISS (today & tomorrow), so today was a relatively calm and good day - we got a lot done! We are all counting down the 11 weeks until school is over. I really hate having that kind of attitude. I'm doing everything I can not to let it show.
I have absolutely no advice, since you teach far younger children than I, but I did want to let you know that I'll be praying for you and your class.
Unfortunately, I have no advice because I am in the same boat. I am a first year teacher with a third grade class. My school is also urban and low income. I have four boys that are causing the same type of problems. I have found that the administration will not help at my school either. Every time I have referred a student to the office, nothing happens to them. Today I had a student walk into the room first thing in the morning, and shove another student to the floor. The reason - he touched his coat! He ended up back in my class 10 minutes later even though the other boy was injured and had to go to the nurse. Meanwhile, everyone else thinks I am a classroom management failure (I'm sure you have this as well.). I'm so in over my head that I hate going to work in the morning. I subbed for 6 years before becoming a regular teacher, did four long term placements (one in middle school), and never had problems like this. The best thing I can say for both of us is that we get new kids next year. Maybe it will be better.
I would ask another teacher (one with experience) to come and observe and then give insight into what you could do. I would also set up an agreement with another teacher in another class so you can send the problem child to him/her class to have a calm down time. I would try and figure out something that is a positive thing that the three main problem children like enough that they will work to earn it. Lunch with you, computer time, five minute free time breaks, stickers... For all three of them I would advise a simple behavior chart. The chart might have several boxes that each cover a specific amount of time. You then might think of one important thing that the child needs to improve on (following directions, controlling impulses, focusing, listening, anger management) what ever will be the most useful. Give a cerrtain amount of stickers for being the best they can be and divide it up as the behavior diminishes (I have even cut the stickers in half at times). At the end of the day copy onto an exact copy of the chart what the kid got (documentation) talk to the kid about why they got the rewards or lack there of and send it home with child to bring back in the morning signed (mom knows). Your second child you described I would be concerned about home life. The off and on behavior with the anger based on no reason that you can see, often can be a sign of a very chaotic home life or an abusive home life. I would recommend that you have the school councelor set up work with the children if that is available or at least observe the children in class. I also would advise you put together an Student success team meeting for all three of the children. If you have not seen or heard from a mom and should be as with the third child keep calling, I have gone to children's homes or offered to go to their home to meet with the mom (often that will get mom to school). With child number three you might try to observe and notice how he looks in the minutes leading up to the losing it. Once you have a good idea of the look, try and catch him before he really loses it. Send him as a messenger to another class. Set up an agreement with the other teachers that they will receive child x carrying a note the note will say "Child x needs a cool off. Please, send child x back to class" You also can have them send child x as a messenger on to another class. If you notice there is a certain time then have child x go before that time. If the child destroys your class have the rest of the class go to another teacher's room and have child x do the job of putting the mess back together, that probably will cure him of that one.
I have sooooooo been there! It was my first year too. I kept thinking I was the biggest failure EVER! After that year I told everyone I would never step foot in a classroom again. Well, here I am, six years later & I've decided to give it another go. My thoughts for you may not sound like a good idea, but having been in your shoes, I'm thinking, "Can it hurt?" I remember when I had 2 month left, I would have given a kidney for peace in the classroom. Do you think there is a possibility of (don't shoot me fellow readers!) trying to reason with them individually? Perhaps find a quiet place to have a one-on-one discussion, maybe have a cookie & juice on the table (even though you'd rather shove the cookie in her face & throw the juice in her lap...uh, did I say that out loud?) a time where you are able to sit down, and first, let them talk about something that makes them happy - if they have a pet then just ask them to tell you about their pet & ask why they like their pet - I'm thinking that this will have their mind in a positive place so you can transition into asking, on a personal level, what makes them want to _______ (what ever the actions are) in a oh-so-non-threatening way...I might even ask about each action specifically. Also, you could say something like, "Did you realize we only have 10 more weeks of school (a calendar showing how little time it is may be in order since 10 weeks sounds like an eternity to children) our year together will be ending soon & I would really like for that to be a special time for us (make it sound like just you two, not the class). What I'm trying to get at is, if they feel some kind of bond with you, like you two have a special relationship they may be more responsive to correction. I would make it look like they are the only one I was having this special time with. I know bribery is frowned upon, but hey, you have got to get through this year. You may be able to come up with a secret code w/ each one (your pinky on your chin for one & maybe scratching your nose for another) that lets them know you need them to be on their best behavior. ok, this is going to sound over-the-top, but here it goes. Maybe you could have them give you a code as well that should only use for VERY important matters....it may help them feel like they have an ally & aren't fighting against the world. GOOD LUCK. Please hang in there....you CAN do it!:thumb:
I think 2ndtryteacher's idea is great. I think I actually read about a teacher who does this monthly with all of her students. She has a special chair and table where she meets with each student monthly to talk at first about something they want to - home, school, activites, etc. and then she talks to them about their school work, assignments, goals, or what they want to be. She lets the students know at the start of the month what the topic she wants to talk to them about so they have time to think about it before they meet. She said that by doing that it gives the student something to ponder. She doesn't give every student the same topic all the time it just depends on each individual student. I think it's a great idea!
I'm so sorry it is like this, and the admin. doesn't support you! I was in an almost identical situation last year with a first grade class. I tried everything just as you have. All I can say is keep as much documentation as you can. Gather related info from the music teacher, etc.--others who have contact with your students. Video taping may be legal if all the parents sign a form. You can always say it is for you to view and evaluate yourself as a teacher. If these kids continue in your school, other teachers in the years to come will see the same thing, and then maybe someone will do something about these kids! Good luck! Let us know how it goes!
I am a preschool teacher (3 and 4 year olds.) Out of 21 children, I have at least 8 who have some sort of self regulation/self control/behavior/possible "disability" issue. THEY FEED OFF OF EACH OTHERS BEHAVIOR which wears me (and my assistant) down to the point where they know they can push our buttons. I go in everyday with a very positive attitude and by lunch, I am worn out. They exhibit the same behaviors: running around the room, knocking things over (including other children's projects as well as my materials and toys/shelves), spitting, hitting, kicking, screaming, scratching, biting... I too have been told that I do not know how to manage my classroom and that if I want to maintain my lead teacher position, I need to gain control over the children and the classroom. I was also told not to send them to the office and that I must deal with them when they are out of control. (My classroom is very hot, too. It is usually 73 - 78 degrees. I am a hot person anyway, but I know it is too hot when the children are asking for extra drinks (and the fish tank is low on water more often). When I ask to have the temperature lowered in my room, they say that it is not too warm. Sure, it isn't if you are sitting at a desk - not when you are active with the children. Their needs are not being met when they are overheated.) (My assistant and I have both made a trip to the ER due to an injury from a child out of control.) On the other hand, "they" (supervisors) will stand at my door and watch to see if I am doing my job, or they will walk in and and allow the child to do something that I just told them they could not do or they will remove them from the class. Also, after telling me that it is all my fault, they then bring in a mental health consultant to work with several of the children. She confirmed that there are issues well beyond my control with the three she has permission to work with as well as with several more children in my classroom. I have also gone to a few IEP meetings for a few of the other children. As the teacher you (and I) are the easiest person to put the blame on. I, too, went (and still do) through self-doubt with my ability as a teacher. I know God is there to help me remember that I am a very capable teacher and that I am an important part in the children's lives. He shows me this through other people who come up to me (it seems to be just when I think I've had enough ) and give me positive comments and lots of hugs. The teacher next door and I have worked it out so that when either one of us is having a rough time, we can send that particular child to the other person's room for a few minutes, so we can regain control before the other children decide to join in the negative behavior. I have some parents who either laugh, make excuses, or blame the other children, when I inform them of their child's behavior. Other parents are great at trying to work with me for the benefit of their child's future. One thing I do know, though, is that these children know that even though their behavior upsets me, I still love them and am always willing to listen to them, hold them, and hug them. Another teacher in my building, has suggested that the supervisors spend at least a week or two in charge of the classroom, to get a real sense of what we are dealing with. It is easy to offer advice when you are on the outside looking in. I am so sorry to go on like this. I guess I just wanted you to know that I certainly know what you are feeling, and I send lots of happy and comforting thoughts, prayers, and hugs your way!!!! Stay strong! Do you keep a gratitude journal? Take a hot bath, a walk, a nap....
I really suggest you check out Power Teaching.. if you are counting down your weeks - what do you have to lose? There are some wonderful elementary techinques - I use it with 7th graders, and it is the only way I have felt truly effective. Google Power Teaching... the website will pop up! If you register you can watch all of the videos and read the books for free!
In my opinion instead of sending the class to another teacher's room, send the child and you go on with your teachering when it is time for recess sent your class to recess then bring in the child and put him/her to clean the room that way he looses his recess time.
I would not send a child with another teacher, the office, or the principals Why? because that is what they want, if you do this they are going to think that they win and that they already made your day miserable and also they are going to think that you can not handle the situation. I would talk to them to see what the problem is, give them choices, may be they are bored, or may be they have problems at home. I would let them know how I feel, if i were you I would make them feel sorry for me. after you have talked to them just ignore them don't pay attention to bad behavior, just watch out for any hitting. Good Luck
So sorry to read all this about your class. Our class is going through the same kind of thing. It is not fair because you need help from Management but they do not seem to know what to do. It is very discouraging and it gets to be a PITA; Pain In The A$$, and you start to doubt yourself. Hang in there and you're in my prayers too. Rebel1
I really appreciate your advice and support (it's more than I'm getting at my school). I just interviewed at another school with a similar student population, but the administration's viewpoint/strategy/ideas are totally different. They are tired of making excuses for people and "dumbing things down," and as part of the "high expectations" they are expecting for their kids academically, they have high expectations for them behaviorally and socially as well! AMEN and HALLELUJAH! I finally felt like I wasn't a total failure as a teacher! Now I'm just in "survival mode" until the end of the year, doing what I can for those students that I can reach and teach. 26 more school days to go. Pray for me.
What if you taped so that your the focus of the camera and you can't really see them. It wouldn't follow you as you move about the room-but it would help to show you aren't yelling and what not.
I'm sure hoping you get the new job. Supportive administration makes all the difference in the world. I work at a school that is semi-urban, has a very mixed population, and would most certainly have more problems if not for our admin. Good luck finishing up the year, and even more luck finding a more suitable school for next year.
What an unfortunate experience for you. I feel bad for you and the rest of the class. You need to move to a school that supports you and your students. You should have a mentor your first year guiding you through the difficulities and you should also have administration supporting students with emtional issues. A school psychologist should be making an observation of the students you mentioned and they should be working with you on a behavior plan you can implement.
Wow! You certainly have had a baptism by fire, so to speak. What you describe is unimaginable and yet you have persevered and are still looking for a solution at the very end of the year. You have what it takes to be an excellent teacher, and I commend you. It sounds like little can be done to help the three kids, so I will concentrate on the one who can be helped, and that is you. It sounds like you are the kind of teacher every kid needs, and it is contemptible to have been treated with such disregard for an extended period of time by people who should know better. I would just encourage you to hang in there. We thank you for your service, and you will be in my prayers.
Is it possible (and I know you said low-income... I think) to have the two boys tested for autism? It's a long shot but those sound like such major autistic or even bi-polar traits. If they are just 1st grade then it may not have been caught yet.
I like the idea of the behavior charts and I agree with the idea of having the students refered. Maybe not for specifically for autism or bi-polar (most schools won't allow you to specify a medical condition) but with your one angel especially, you could probably justify a referal to an ED class, or at least, some help from a special ed teacher. Don't feel badly about admin being mad. I sent one of my (ED/BD) kids to the office the other day and they told me that he did fine at his last school. Really? Then why did they refer him to an ED/BD class? That usually doesn't happen when it's going really well. I said this and am now not sure if I am coming back next year. But enough about me. You could also, depending on your school's policy, try to arrange for counselling or social work for all three. It sounds like all could benefit from that. Don't feel badly about refering kids for special ed evaluations. It keeps us special ed teachers employed and is a really good thing for the kids, if they need the help, they'll get it. You'd be doing a good thing.
