HELP - I have a serious question

Discussion in 'Preschool' started by Butterfly4, Apr 1, 2012.

  1. Butterfly4

    Butterfly4 Comrade

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    Apr 1, 2012

    What do you recommend I do....

    My 4 1/2 year old daughter accidentally bumped into my husbands "private area" tonight and just said, oh, sorry Daddy. Then proceeded to tell him that he has the same "peepee" as "Johnny" (boy in her class). He of course then asked how she knew that and she proceeded to tell us that when the class is going to the bathroom, while one kid is washing hands, the teacher sends the next kid in to start going. So, while my daughter goes in to potty someone (boy or girl) is washing hands and while she is washing hands someone else (boy or girl) is going potty. She says that's the way they've been doing it all year!!!!!!! I totally believe her, I don't think she would make something like this up.

    My daughter is in a small preschool, I think there are only two bathrooms in the building and they are both the equivilent of a half bath in a home - so no privacy from the toilet to the sink. However, there are only 7 kids in her class, so we aren't talking about it taking a HUGE amount of time to let each kid go in to the bathroom by themselves.

    We are extremely bothered by this. If she were two, maybe....but at 4 1/2, I'm really not comfortable with this at all.

    Are we overreacting??? We just feel this is totally innapropriate for a christian school to be making the kids potty in front of other kids...especially kids of other sex.

    Now that I'm thinking about it, my daughter just recently has started closing her bathroom door when she uses the bathroom at home, says she needs her privacy. Shes never done that before. Maybe it's just her age, starting to get modest, but maybe that is bothering her having to go to the bathroom in front of others.

    What is your advice? What would you do?

    Thank you for any suggestions!!!
     
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  3. Rebel1

    Rebel1 Connoisseur

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    Apr 1, 2012

    Let the teacher know about how you feel. Maybe she's not aware of what is going on, due to being busy with other things.
    She needs to make sure that the other child is completely done before she sends in the next one. Like you mentioned, she only has 7 kids, so what is the rush about? They can put in a moveable divider for some privacy. Just talk with her teacher about it.
    Rebel1
     
  4. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Apr 1, 2012

    I wouldn't like it either and would kindly bring it to the attention of the teacher.
     
  5. gemgirlxoxo

    gemgirlxoxo Rookie

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    Apr 1, 2012

    I think that is ridiculous and I would definitely talk to the teacher about it. Children should be entitled to privacy too.
     
  6. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    Apr 2, 2012

    Boy, I hope other PS teachers let us know their policies. At every PS I have taught, both sexes use the same bathroom. If this had ever been brought up as a concern, I would have found a solution. I have taught over 30 years, and never had an issue.
     
  7. maggie123

    maggie123 Rookie

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    Apr 2, 2012

    we have one bathroom for both boys and girls. But my rule is one at a time and and door is closed. 4 year olds are not known for their modesty. They need to be taught.
     
  8. scmom

    scmom Enthusiast

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    Apr 2, 2012

    A lot of places have only one bathroom and cycle kids through as quickly as possible so they share. It is very common. We are not allowed to have closed doors because of safety and supervision issues. If you have an issue, just tell the teacher you would like her to go privately.
     
  9. cml88

    cml88 Companion

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    Apr 2, 2012

    Yupp, believe her because that's totally how they do it! I am a pre-k teacher at a preschool and my class is 4-5 year olds. I REFUSE to do it like that so my class always takes longer. It's just how daycares do it...I was mortified when I first began working there. I will allow girls to wash hands while another girl is going to the bathroom but NEVER boy/girl. I told my director that I was totally uncomfortable with it and she told me as long as I didn't mind waiting by the bathrom longer, I could do whatever I please. I would DEFINITELY talk to your child's teacher because although I know it's more convinient, it's highly inappropriate...these kids are almost in kindergarten...opposite sexes should not be in the bathroom at the same time.
     
  10. mrgrinch09

    mrgrinch09 Comrade

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    Apr 2, 2012

    I think you're overreacting.

    However, if it does bother you, I would talk to the teacher. She will probably agree to make sure your daughter has some privacy.

    In my classroom we have one bathroom with 2 stalls. We have shower curtains in front of the stalls to give the children privacy. We instruct the children to close the curtains when they use the potty, and we often help them to close the curtain all the way. I don't have any problem sending a boy to one stall and a girl to the next stall.

    Even with the separate stalls and shower curtains, it's still not a guarantee that a boy or girl isn't going to see a classmate of the opposite sex with their pants down. A few time a week, no matter how many reminders we give, someone walks out of that stall with their pants still down, or they start to do their business with the curtain open. When this happens, we don't make a big deal about it. We just go on with our normal routine.
     
  11. WaProvider

    WaProvider Fanatic

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    Apr 2, 2012

    That is how it is often done, changes can be made for privacy when there are issues....however, doors can never be closed (at least in my area).

    Please talk to the teachers, respectfully.
     
  12. Miller59

    Miller59 Companion

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    Apr 2, 2012

    I wouldn't like it either.

    My school has a girls and a boys bathroom, but I take my youngest boys into the girls bathroom so I can help them. I close the doors to the stall so that there is privacy.

    I agree with others that you should let the teacher know how you feel. I wouldn't mind if 2 same sex children where in the bathroom at the same time, maybe that's a compromise that could work.
     
  13. raynepoe

    raynepoe Companion

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    Apr 2, 2012

    I teach mixed ages 3 to 5

    In my opinion 3yr olds could share without ever even noticing the other sex, but the 4 year olds are just so much more aware of their bodies and their classmates.

    I agree you should talk to the teacher just let her know that you are concerned.
     
  14. orangetea

    orangetea Connoisseur

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    Apr 2, 2012

    I would talk to the teacher. I wouldn't be comfortable with that either.
     
  15. jen12

    jen12 Devotee

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    Apr 2, 2012

    I've worked at two different preschools and sharing the bathroom has been standard. I've never had a parent complain. Since children must be visible at all times, the bathrooms can be seen from the classroom. It's a licensing requirement in my state. That means boys can see girls, girls can see boys and the teacher can see everyone. If you want an exception made for your child, let the teacher know.
     
  16. mkate

    mkate Comrade

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    Apr 3, 2012

    We have a joint bathroom with four stalls (two for each gender) but they aren't supposed to close the doors either, and the bathrooms serve four classes of 25 students, so there are times when it gets very crowded. Frankly I've never seen it be a problem-- they do see each other sometimes but they just see it as normal and I've never heard any commentary about private parts. When they move to first grade boys and girls have separate bathrooms, but at the pre-Primary level (pre-K and K) they don't.

    Not to say that you shouldn't speak to the teacher-- it sounds like in this case it would be relatively easy to solve the problem.
     
  17. jen12

    jen12 Devotee

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    Apr 3, 2012

    It sounds as if you're shocked that she's learned that boys and girls have different body parts. That's an age appropriate lesson and nothing to worry about. Is she an only child? Children with opposite-sex siblings in the same house also learn early on that boys and girls are different. Over time, you'll find that you can't control the flow of information into her head. She's going to pick up all kinds of information from the outside world. This is really not a big deal. Like I said before, if you want a different bathroom procedure for her, let the teacher know. Just beware that at that age, they're all very nosy and it will be a topic of conversation among the kids that Susie can't go to the bathroom with the rest of the class. Honestly, in the list of battles you could be fighting with her school, this shouldn't even be a footnote.
     
  18. bison

    bison Habitué

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    Apr 3, 2012

    I agree that they're children and it's normal to learn that boys and girls have different parts. I don't think it's the end of the world or inappropriate in Pre-K, even though I'd probably do it differently. If you'd like a different procedure for your daughter, I'm sure that can be arranged. I just wouldn't freak out about it.
     
  19. dolphinswim

    dolphinswim Companion

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    Apr 3, 2012

    Wow, I must have it easy. My room has two single restrooms, one for boys and one for girls, with the sink outside the restroom. While I don't care which child uses which potty I do not let them leave the door open or go in with another child. I believe they need privacy and I should not be the one to teach them about "differences" and when asked I let them know to ask their adult at home.
     
  20. Miss J. Pre-K

    Miss J. Pre-K Comrade

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    Apr 9, 2012

    I have one bathroom in my classroom with 12 kids. There are three sinks outside the bathroom, one of them is child-sized. We cannot close our doors because the center has had at least two children mash fingers in the doors and get injured. (It used to be an old elementary school and the doors are heavy!) We put up shower curtains and prop the door open, but the students know how to close the shower curtain before going potty. Yeah, students have walked out without buttoning up before or forgot to close the curtain. I'd rather them see differences that way that another issue we have...two kids trying to "play doctor" in hidden spots in the classroom or playground.
     

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