Help! Bullying before school starts???

Discussion in 'General Education' started by Canadian Gal, Aug 21, 2009.

  1. Canadian Gal

    Canadian Gal Habitué

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    Aug 21, 2009

    Tough situation. I have a new kid coming to my school whose parents died in a car accident a few years ago. According to the child's Aunt - who works in division, there is another girl in her class who is a huge bully - there have been big problems with this child telling her niece - "At least my parents are alive."

    How do I deal with this if it happens in my class? How would you deal with it?
     
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  3. scmom

    scmom Enthusiast

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    Aug 21, 2009

    What grade?
     
  4. Canadian Gal

    Canadian Gal Habitué

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    Aug 21, 2009

    Six.
     
  5. FarFromHome

    FarFromHome Connoisseur

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    Aug 21, 2009

    I had this happen before and when the kids came I found out it was the complete opposite. The kid whose parents complained about him being bullied was actually one of the biggest bullies in class. I'm not saying this is what it would be in your situation, but I would wait to see how things go when the students get to school.
     
  6. Canadian Gal

    Canadian Gal Habitué

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    Well when I heard this, I called the elementary school to confirm. It was in fact, true. The little girl who lost her parents is a little odd, and the other girl is much more, um developed than most girls her age, and much taller and bigger. The bullying has been both mental (the comments and about the parents) and physical - pinching and so on.
     
  7. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    Aug 21, 2009

    Can you work with the non-bully and help her learn how to defend herself?

    I would also start the year out with some books, role playing, etc. about social skills and how to be a friend.
     
  8. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Aug 22, 2009

    If I ever heard it happen, I would pull the bully out there and then. No warnings, no "let's play nicely," no "I can't believe what you said!"

    Someone would watch my class while we marched down to the office.

    Shortly before I killed her, she would phone her mom, her dad, her grandmother-- anyone and everyone and tell them, verbatim, what she had done and said.

    Then the principal or dean or someone in administration would decide what came next.

    I'm sorry-- I know that role playing and all that has its place. But sixth grade is certainly old enough to know when you're being cruel and bullying. Self defense is only part of the answer-- an 11 year old should not have to defend her existance to anyone.

    I think I have a lot of patience with the kids I teach. But bullying is something I simply cannot and will not tolerate.
     
  9. Canadian Gal

    Canadian Gal Habitué

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    Aug 22, 2009

    Alice - I mean, I know bullying exists. I know that I am not going to see and hear everything that goes on in my classroom or in the hallways. However, this is one thing that I will not tolerate. It is not something you tease someone about - ever.

    Its an issue a little close to my heart, because as a kid I used to hear "Well at least my Dad loves me." since my father was AWAL. There are some things you just DON'T say, and that's one of them.

    Blue - I think the Social Skills idea - but we just got new curriculum (very first year) and that's not in the Health Curriculum and I'm not sure I'll have time to fit it in.
     
  10. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Aug 22, 2009

    I know what you mean, CG. It's something that just pushes me over the edge. And I know we can't hear every word that's said. Nor can we protect every child from anything that will ever hurt his feelings.

    But heaven help the child who does something I CAN catch!!!
     
  11. Canadian Gal

    Canadian Gal Habitué

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    Aug 22, 2009

    Well exactly - and teasing a kid because her parents are dead? Heaven help this little girl if I catch her, because before we even GET to the office, I'd tear a strip off of her. I will not tolerate that kind of emotional abuse, period.
     
  12. scmom

    scmom Enthusiast

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    Aug 22, 2009

    Most schools I know have a policy on bullying and a procedure to follow. Does your school? I would also talk to the school psychologist and counselors before school starts and have them help you formulate a plan. Document everything you see. Talk to the victim and tell her that her responsibility is to tell you everything that happens - it is not tattling and follow through with the plan hard at the beginning of the year to nip it in the bud before the year starts. The playground people should be part of the plan. Good luck - you obviously care and are doing the bully as well as the victim a favor by being proactive teaching them both the social skills they need.
     
  13. Canadian Gal

    Canadian Gal Habitué

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    We don't have a playground... we aren't an elementary school. So there's no worries there. I'll talk to the youth worker as soon as she's back at work, but there's no way I'll get the school psychologist - she'll be busy testing all the kids who didn't get tested last year. The little girl whose parents died was flagged, so we all know the situation.

    We simply do not tolerate bullying. We're a really small school, comparatively speaking, so we don't have the same kind of policies and procedures larger schools do. A lot is simply left up to the discretion of the teacher.
     
  14. monsieurteacher

    monsieurteacher Aficionado

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    I love the line from Alice's post "shortly before I killed her"... that would be my reaction too.

    There are very few things that can get me pi$$ed off... that sort of thing is one of them, and she'd learn pretty darn fast that she's not going to do that.
     
  15. Canadian Gal

    Canadian Gal Habitué

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    Apparently this has been going on since the one little girls parents were killed in the 2nd grade. Four years and this is the one little girl's favourite line. I am not sure how I am going to do this without killing this child, because I can't stand that kind of attitude.
     
  16. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Aug 22, 2009

    Is there any way of moving the bully to another class?
     
  17. Canadian Gal

    Canadian Gal Habitué

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    We only have one class in French Immersion. We are an extremely small school - these kids have been together since kindergarten and will be together all the way through high school.
     
  18. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Aug 22, 2009

    All the more reason that this bullying stops NOW!

    If those 2 girls learn nothing else in your class, I hope that each learns that no one should be afraid to go to school.
     
  19. Canadian Gal

    Canadian Gal Habitué

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    Aug 22, 2009

    I know that I will not tolerate it, and I'll let my EA know to keep her eyes and ears peeled as well.
     
  20. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    Aug 22, 2009

    Any idea why no one has addressed this issue before this child entered your class? (read...torn this bully a new one a couple of years ago?)
     
  21. Canadian Gal

    Canadian Gal Habitué

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    I guess that even though the school has tried to deal with it, the parents don't really follow through on anything they say in meetings after an incident happens. Since there are no consequences at home, and the worst we can do is an ISS, the bully feels that she can get away with it.

    According to the Aunt, last year's teacher did her best, and she has no worries about how the issue will be dealt with in my school (apparently we have a good reputation throughout the division), however, that in and of itself, puts a lot of pressure on me.

    I already reworked my seating plan to keep the kids away from each other, sent an email to her other teachers (I was the only one there when the discussion happened because we don't go back to work until Monday) to let them know about this. However, I still feel pressure to do more.
     
  22. flyingmickey

    flyingmickey Rookie

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    Aug 23, 2009

    Being in French Immersion is a privilege - if she can't behave she shouldn't be in this special class.
    I would keep track of everything.
    In my district kids in any special program can be sent to their home school if they don't follow all the expectations.
    All kids are lucky to be in your program and should behave well to stay in it.
     
  23. Canadian Gal

    Canadian Gal Habitué

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    In Saskatchewan, access to second language education is a right, not a privilege, plus we are this child's home school. I will most definitely document everything. I wish kids felt that they were lucky, but many don't want to be in the program, and are only there because their parents insist.
     
  24. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    CG, I have the utmost faith that this young lady has met her match in you!!
     
  25. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    Poor girl, you are going to have to build trust in her in order to get her to tell you. She probably already doesn't feel safe in the class just knowing the other person is there.
     
  26. monsieurteacher

    monsieurteacher Aficionado

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    Actually, if I'm not mistaken, access to second language instruction is actually a right throughout all of Canada, though it is often not treated as such, even here in New Brunswick, the only bilingual province.
     
  27. Canadian Gal

    Canadian Gal Habitué

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    Alice - Thank you! I truly hope the bully has. I heard that the other little girl enjoys some of the activities that I coach or am in charge of, so I am hoping to recruit her to some of them to build a relationship outside of the classroom.

    Dfleming - there is no way I could kick a kid out of this program. It would be the end of my job lol!
     
  28. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    The school cannot remove a student from the FI program, regardless of their behaviour. We can encourage parents to transfer their child to the English program if they are experiencing difficulties meeting the academic expectations.

    CG--it sounds as though you are putting a lot of the right things into place and are sending the message loud and clear that this behaviour will not be tolerated. An additional idea would be to have a community police officer come in to the school to talk to the students, not about this situation specifically, but in general about the "adult" ramifications of behaviours they think are harmless "kid-stuff". If this behaviour continues, the bully could easily find herself facing charges in a few years.
     
  29. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    I'm not sure that removing the girl from the program, even if it is an option, is the solution. This isn't about French, it's about the behavior of a 12 year old girl. If she were thrown out of the program, it would give her more ammunition, and she would do her bullying elsewhere-- the cafeteria or on the bus or at the lockers.

    She needs to learn, in no uncertain terms, that it is OVER and will not be tolerated. And I think she has just the right teacher to do that.
     
  30. Canadian Gal

    Canadian Gal Habitué

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    MrsC - that is a actually a great idea. I know a few of the cops in town and I am sure that they would be more than willing to come and give a brief bullying presentation. I might be able to talk to the principal into just doing a quick presentation to the whole school - we aren't a large school and it might encourage other students to report things they see and hear.

    Alice - I agree with you. Its not about the program, its about the behaviour, which is utterly unacceptable. I refuse to tolerate it, and she needs to learn that.
     

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