over future MIL. This is gonna be a rant and a half with some pleas for advice at the end. I do not like MIL. She's very outspoken, rude, obnoxious, doesn't let anyone else talk, butts into finances, interrogates... you get the idea. I tried really hard to like her, but it's been two years and it's just not getting any better. She keeps telling me to call her mom and I've told her I'm not comfortable with that - yet she insists on it and introduces me to people as her daughter. She is always making herself out to be someone to be pitied - and believe me, I hope to God I never know the pain of losing a child and I do feel for her - so FIL and DF are always giving in to her demands. BIL had a degenerative disease; DF was left alone and basically neglected for most of his childhood while she took care of BIL. He passed away 11 years ago and I really don't think she's dealt with it. I've never heard a baby/childhood story about DF. I know every one about his brother. I asked her before what DF was like as a kid. She just said, "Oh. You know. Fine." and launched into another BIL story. She's gone as far as to tell me that she wishes BIL were still alive because I'd be so much better suited to him She's asked me about our sex life before. Ew. We're living in FL, in dire financial straits, because she couldn't bear for him to move out of state when I wanted to and gave him a HUGE guilt trip about it. We stayed home, both lost our jobs, and he ended up moving 6 hours away for work. But MIL was happy. until he moved. Now it's my fault. We can't get married in Vermont like we wanted because his parents have two dogs that can't be boarded and don't travel well. And on and on and on and on... He has stood up for me on occasion (most recent argument over why I don't drive up to see him more often), but usually with pleas to understand just how hard his mom's life was, how much she misses BIL, and can I please just deal with her? Then she called earlier. They are planning to move to St. Augustine in 2 years. I was "instructed" to look for a teaching job there, since they want DF to be close by. I have no intentions of moving to St. Augustine. Until today, neither did DF. We were planning on moving to NC. I reminded her about NC. She told me she knows what's best for us... because she's OUR mother. Anyway, I called DF (pissed, I admit it) and he took his mother's side... that it would make her happy and she's had a tragic life, that she looks at me as her daughter, blah blah blah. We argue on occasion, but we've never screamed at each other the way we did earlier. I kind of feel like we're at a cross-roads right now. I love DF more than anything else, but I'm not going to have my life railroaded by his mother. I'm really mad that she has "control" over our lives right now and I REALLY hate the fact that he can't seem to stick to standing up to her. I'm not saying he's got to give into me every time, either... but his mom is becoming a huge issue. So. Please. Help. Relationship advice. MIL advice. Anything.