It's early in the game this year (application season)...but having a panic day (I won't get hired, I'll never get a teaching job, very down on my own teaching skills, berating myself). I subbed in a tough class today. As inner-city (a make-up of) a class as I have ever taught...and though the music teacher who came in to the room for a little while said I had them pretty well-behaved and paying attention...I felt..for ME... that I wasn't in control (enough). I met a girl today (at this school) that "won" a job I interviewed for a few months ago. She had been a student teacher at the school in the fall semester (in the class I was subbing in today), and now was doing Instructional aide work there. I think it was a logical choice. If I were the principal I would hire the student teacher for the rest of the year (if they were decent at all). Though it was strange when she came into the room-the kids weren't ga-ga over her return as kids would be in that case (The kids I was with - if I sub at my old school - nearly tackle me with hugs and swarm to chat about how life is for them - MAN, I loved them!) But I see that as, yeah, this class WAS tough! And it's just adding to the down-ness of the day (wish it were sunny and warm..a good day for a LONG walk) Just ranting..or bemoaning.. but I hate these sorts of days.