have you ever cried at the end of the day?

Discussion in 'General Education Archives' started by mathandme, Aug 16, 2006.

  1. mathandme

    mathandme Rookie

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    I feel like a failure today. After school, I just locked myself inside my classroom and cried. I make mistakes after mistakes. I was one of the best student everywhere I went, even though I had to work really hard and support myself at the same time. When I see my kids and they don't care about anything and tell it to me, it's real hard. I work my b__t off to give the best of myself every day and they are telling me they just don't care...
     
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  3. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    They may be telling you they don't care, but my advice is to keep doing what you are doing. I bet you will see results soon, once your kids see you are consistent with them. They have probably been let down many times in their lives and fear rejection. Try not to be so sad. You are helping these kids more than you know. You will see results
     
  4. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    In spite of what they say, they do care...otherwise they wouldn't make the effort to tellyou that they don't (does that make sense?). I've spent hours crying--after school, during recess, during lunch, and a few times when I had to get someone else to cover my class for a bit while I had a bit of a meltdown. Crying means you care, and that is one of the most imortant qualities of a good teacher. Keep working hard, have high expectations and you will reach them, maybe not all of them, but most of them.
     
  5. ChristyF

    ChristyF Moderator

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    Yes, I have. Especially the first year. I just felt helpless and hopeless. You will get past this. It won't be overnight, but one days soon you'll realize that things have gotten better. You are putting a lot of pressure on yourself. All you can do is do your best. Make sure that at some point, you take a break. Give yourself some "non-school" time. Go for a drive, a swim, or something, to give yourself a little bit of time to calm down.
    If you are a praying person, say a prayer, say a lot of them. Tomorrow will be better.
     
  6. Cyndi23

    Cyndi23 Companion

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    I did, once, after a parent told me that I was a "f'ing idiot" (she apparently said this to ALL of her darlings' teachers at one point or another). I had never been spoken to like that in my life and didn't take it well. Oh well!
     
  7. educ8or2000

    educ8or2000 Rookie

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    Don't know if it will help now, but you should try to watch "The Ron Clark Story" on TNT if you can. It's very inspiring. I haven't taught kids at your level, but I know the attitudes we see in elementary so I can relate. Keep your spirits up...keep doing a good job...keep letting them know you care about THEM, as well as the lesson. Good luck!
     
  8. TeacherRW

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    Suffice it to say, I have been there. I hope things go better tomorrow for you.
     
  9. Exclaimation Po

    Exclaimation Po Habitué

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    When I was student teaching my cooperating teacher called in sick. It was my first time being alone with "my" students all day. It was horrible. I thought I was a failure and had totally picked the wrong career. I went home, went directly to bed, and text messaged my husband to pick up chinese food on the way home. I didn't cry, but I was horribly depressed.

    It did eventually get better. Though, now I have the first day of school facing me soon and I don't feel ready at all! I'll probably be back in a couple of weeks posting about how I cried!!
     
  10. Youngteacher226

    Youngteacher226 Enthusiast

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    My advice to you is that you HAVE to touch these kids in a place no one has touched them before. Find a way to reach them that will make them listen to you for 5 minutes!! Sometimes teachers feel as though we have to be "the teacher" and they're role is to be "the students" everyday of the year. This is true sometimes, but early in the year, I think it is neccessary to find something that to do that will make them trust you, respect you and believe that you are there because you care about them. I remember in high school, there were teachers who had such a hard time because we didn't respect them. We knew that they didn't really care about us and some would even say that whether we learn or not, they will still get a paycheck. That hurt us even though we wouldn't admit it. :( The only teachers that we listened to were the ones who got our attention on day 1. The teachers that let us know that they were human just like we were. The teachers that told us that they will not give up on us as long as we don't give up on ourselves. I remembered those days because I was always one of those students who was very smart, wanted to learn but became destracted by the chatty classmates who wouldn't stop until they made the teacher break and just scream at the top of their lungs.
    The teachers that we respected were the teachers that NEVER screamed. NEVER raised their voices. And NEVER let a day go by without telling a joke here or there, smiling at us when we got a question right or welcoming us as we entered the classroom. These students need just as much love and affection as the younger elementary kids......if not more. Good luck!:)
     
  11. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    Good points, youngteacher. I actually cried a lot on Monday - and kids aren't even back to school yet. The teachers are bad enough.
     
  12. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Isn't that the truth?
     
  13. wifemomteach06

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    Hugs to all of you. I wish my sons had the opportunity to have you for a teacher. You all seem so passionate about your work! It's so hard being the new kid, isn't it? I am blessed in the fact that I volunteered at my son's school, so I have gotten to know most of the staff, and they are comfortable with me. Hang in there, it will get better!!
     
  14. Mrs_Goatess

    Mrs_Goatess Comrade

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    I've cried, too. Twice, actually, with two sets of students. The thing is I don't remember what happened that made me cry *and* I'm still teaching. This, too, shall pass.
     
  15. Ms. I

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    I'm a brand new resource specialist who will start next week. Honestly, I'm excited about the new job & all, but I wish I had another month to read & study all the things I need to know. I feel like I don't know what I need to know & this isn't just in my head. I really do not know a lot of things that I'll have to do. I have so, so much to learn! I look back on my student teaching experiences & wished I had learned a lot more. (The co-op teachers weren't that great).

    My biggest fear is that I won't get the help & support I need & I look like an idiot in front of the principal, VP, & rest of the staff. I haven't cried yet, but I won't be surprised if I do w/i the first month. Hopefully, I don't though. All I can do is pray that I get the help I need and that I meet kind people who can show me the ropes.
     
  16. MrsRich219

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    Ms I. don't sweat it. None of us knew what we NEEDED to know before starting in the classroom. some things you HAVE to learn on the job. In your OWN classroom. That's just the way it is! You'll probably have some embarrassing moments, but then you'll also have moments when you inspire all those around you. Live for those moments. Give it your best!!!! You'll be fine!

    Did I cry.........hmmmmmm...Not my first couple of years, I was a high school business teacher, but I did for the last couple of years....teaching Elementary. OMG Elementary is so much harder! JMHO The kids that weren't being taken care of properly, the parents that were idiots, the teachers that acted more like 6th graders...instead of 6th grade teachers. Needless to say, I'm going to LOVE being back in a high school classroom this fall. LOL
     
  17. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    That is so funny, MrsRich. Ms. I, don't you realize that most people are faking it most of the time? Be yourself, do what you think is right, and that will be good enough!!
     
  18. loves2teach

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    I had a parent who threatened to hurt me last year- That scared me to death! I was a wreck. Dh was livid!

    I have also cried when I felt like what I was doing didn't matter (rare pms kind of day lol!
     
  19. hhennigan

    hhennigan Rookie

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    Cheer up I have cried too. Just like posted before be persistant it will pay-off. Once the kids figure you are not giving up or going away they will change their tune.
     
  20. moonbeamsinajar

    moonbeamsinajar Habitué

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    Dear MathandMe,
    I have a daughter in HS right now and wanted to give you some words of encouragement. Not all the kids are like that. I would bet a whole bunch care, but just won't show it. It's not cool, and the rest of the kids will give them a hard time. Also, I bet you have a bunch of kids like my daughter in class, who care alot, but do not say anything. My daughter is really quiet, will not answer, etc. and alot of teachers tend to "overlook" her ( and kids like her) because they do not stand out in the crowd and never call attention to themselves. Keep trying, if only for those quiet kids who really need someone like you. My daughter has had some really bad teachers, and some really good teachers. I can tell, because you care so much, that you are one of the really good ones. Sometimes my daughter will come home from school and tell me about something kind a teacher did for her that day, like ask why she was upset and actually listen to her for a few minutes. Or once a teacher walking through the cafeteria sat down with her and her friends and chatted a few minutes. Stuff like that makes such an impression on the kids. You probably are not aware of all the little things that you do that made some kid's day. Because they won't tell you. They will just feel wonderful inside, and remember you forever for being so caring and concerned, any you will never know that you made a difference. So don't give up. Just keep on caring. You will never know how many lives you affect in a positive way, and how much all the little things mean to alot of your students.:love:
     
  21. katerina03

    katerina03 Devotee

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    I thank goodness for students like your daughter. My son was the same way in school. It did make me angry that he got over-looked so often beacuse he is quiet. While subbing and teacher summer school this year, I made it a point to get to know the "quiet ones" and the "well behaved ones" instead of spending the energy on the ones that try to ruin it for everyones else.
    I may get in trouble for doing this but at the end of summer school last month I had 2 students in my class who were wonderfully behaved no matter what the other kids was doing to be "cool". I was so proud of them. After school on the last day when the others had gone, I gave them both a small gift (just school items, but neat ones). It was just my way of saying "good job!"
     
  22. wdwteach

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    The first year is tough. It will get easier. I keep M&M's around for times like this.;)
     
  23. Youngteacher226

    Youngteacher226 Enthusiast

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    I have to admit it too that I love making those quite kids feel like they are not invisible and I try to do it every chance I get. Actually, I try to "ignore" the ones who are misbehaving as much as I can. And after my student teaching, I have to admit that although I brought in a treat box for all the children, (even the children who I feel didn't deserve a treat and I didn't want to offend my CT), I allowed my few quite and well behaved students to pick a little something extra when no one was looking. :love: I wanted them to remember that and to remember to always do their best even when the others are not. I hugged them and told them exactly how I felt and they just smiled. I'm hoping maybe that will be a reminder for them when they get older that making the wrong decisions does not pay! I will do the same for my new group of kids but do things differently since it will be MY classroom. I will encourage ALL of them to make the right choices from day 1. I'm truly excited.:p
     
  24. Ann2006

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    Crying? You betcha!! The 5 months at was at my last school, I cried so much out of frustration and anger. All of this crying took place in a locked bathroom. I think it was my way of letting off steam because I was really in a ridiculous situation. The whole building just needs to be shut down and everyone sent somewhere else...teachers, administration, and kids. Terrible place!

    It does help to keep comfort items in your desk...a favorite picture of people you love, your favorite body spray/lotion, a little candy, a favorite beverage (non-alcoholic!!LOL), a small mirror to look at yourself and remember that you are VERY Qualified and you can do this job! Even making a quick phone call to a loved one/good friend during a prep helps.

    I don't feel bad for having cried because the alternative would have been to blow my stack in front of the students and that's not what you want to do. It takes too long to earn any respect after losing it in front of them. The teachers who yell and scream all the time are seen as being nuts by students. Not a good reputation to develop.

    Cry all you need then pick your chin up and do a great job!!!
     
  25. irishteach

    irishteach Rookie

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    a few of us at school today talked about this .... i think it comes natural to cry! just don't do it in front of students......for me a breath of fresh air works really well!
     
  26. katerina03

    katerina03 Devotee

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    During my first month as a new sub, I took on a long term HS sub job. I was so scared and unsure of myself and many of the seniors were major discipline problems. I felt like a failure and I began crying after the class left one day. I just felt I didn't handle situations right, so it was all my fault. I take things very personally and I am an emotional person-I know I have to really work on that! I have learned one very important lesson, never give up because I do believe things will eventually get better. You will win the kids over.
     
  27. Research_Parent

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    Whether or not the students "care" is not what you are after...

    It reminds me of the first time you hear your own children scream, "I hate you!", AND THE ONLY WAY TO RESPOND IS, "I STILL LOVE YOU!" In this case, the only way to respond is, "Well, I DO CARE..."
     
  28. runsw/scissors

    runsw/scissors Phenom

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    I think we have all cried (or come close) at some point or other. I cried a few times during my first year, not those silent little tears either. I'm talking about the wailing and gnashing of teeth stuff! I had no idea what I was doing wrong, I was making mistakes all over the place, the kids seemed to hate me or at least out to get me. My administration wouldn't/couldn't help me in the way I thought they should. I was 600 miles from home and knew no one in a very little town. I even had considered giving up the profession rather seriously. I had to take a couple years off before I could remember why I wanted to teach before getting back in the game.

    I feel that year was what best prepared me for the world of teaching. It was baptism by fire, so to speak. What ever doesn't kill us makes us stronger. What I'm getting at is this-things will get better for you! I suggest you find someone who is in a school (teacher, principal, etc) who can be a sounding board, give advice, offer comfort, and supply hugs. It doesn't even need to be someone in your building.
     
  29. Ann2006

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    That's why we are all here. To offer that comfort and advice and to share our stories as well. I agree that things will get better but I do understand that first yoou have to get through it. That's the hard part. Keep venting here and we'll offer the support we can.

    If you do decide to stay next year at your school, you'll feel more comfortable as time goes by and you may be the one new teachers turn to when they feel like you do now.

    Best wishes to you.
     
  30. Mable

    Mable Enthusiast

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    Isn't this sad? I am in a new team this year and the veteran teacher does not have any interest in helping ease my transition into a new grade. I just don't understand why some teachers are downright mean....

    I hope your group gets tolerable Upsadaisy....:love:
     
  31. Mable

    Mable Enthusiast

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    I was on the verge of tears yesterday after our new principal made a backhanded slam to the declining scores of the kdg the last three years (I've only been with the kdg the last three years)

    What really irked me about the whole comment was he really has NO IDEA or no grounds to base that comment. And why do it in front of me but not TO me? (I was team lead...????). I'm wondering if I should talk to him before he announces it in front of the whole school??
     
  32. hhennigan

    hhennigan Rookie

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    I would.
    In my state they test the students in math. The first year I taught the scores were terrible and I was made to feel it was my fault. The next year the scores went up I was so excited and proud and the admin. in the beginning of the year meeting praised the students.

    So don't let when it's good it's the students and when it's bad it's the teacher get you down. I was too timid to say anything back then but I wouldn't be now! Here is something from a coworker that made me smile "Dumb kids after to go to school somewhere".

    It is always tougher in the beginning but it will get better. It is just really hard to go through it. I'm glad we have this forum to be able to find a sympathetic ear.
     
  33. ChristyF

    ChristyF Moderator

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    One of the worst times I could remember was during one of my first year observations. I overplanned the lesson and didn't fit it to the kids (which is why now, they get what they get, I don't change anything, I don't put on a dog and pony show, they just get me). I had a really rough class that year. Needless to say, the lesson failed miserably. Totally my fault. I pulled the tattered work out as best as I could. What was so hard, though, was the observer was a former principal who I didn't get along with at all. I went into the interview ready to do battle. Well, he had changed in the 6 or 7 years since I had him as a principal and he kindly asked me if I was ok. That was all it took. I started crying. I was mortified and cried even harder. (If I'm upset, I can't take someone being nice to me. Call me ugly names, make fun of me, but don't be nice!!) He was very kind about it though, and even told me that he would come back in and do a second observation and "forget" about that one.
     
  34. Ms.Jasztal

    Ms.Jasztal Maven

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    (gives the Queen the biggest hug ever)

    Now on to the post.

    Have I cried?

    OH GOD, YES. I actually bawled my eyes out on Wednesday evening, and then after the bawling, I finally decided to start making positive parent phone calls (for every student I teach). That turned my evening (and pretty terrible day) around completely. Though I felt quite miserable at first, by the end of the evening I was vowing that my students would learn to be the people they have always wanted to be.

    This year, I have the most supportive parents I have ever met, yet I still have the moments where I go, Do they actually tell their sons or daughters that talking out of turn or having "constant flapposis of the mouth" is disrespectful? Students, when they first come back to school... have to be encouraged and reinforced intrinsically/even sometimes extrinsically on a VERY consistent basis. Even the high school students you are referring to need to enjoy themselves a little and work gradually toward where you want them to succeed.

    I teach fourth grade homeroom (which is writing, science, and social studies), enrichment reading, and also extra support math... which is a bummer at times because the students think the math book was probably written by you and you mandated all their standardized test practice (though the whole school takes it and they should know that by now!!).

    Sorry for my long-winded post that may not have made complete sense! But... you should not feel discouraged! We all encounter these days and even weeks where we wonder why.
     
  35. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    What a fabulous idea, Ms. Jasztal! By making those positive phone calls you not only picked yourself up but put smiles on a lot of faces! Too often, we don't contact parents unless there is a problem--those "rainbow calls" (as one of my daughter's teachers called them) make a lasting impression!
     
  36. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    LOL, Ms.Jasztal. You win the prize for turning things around!!

    My admin is the most feeling, sensitive (it's official - we just took the Myers Briggs and had a counselor there to lead us as agroup), peace-making, supportive, positive human beings in the world. Unfortunately, sometimes that means that they sweep things under the rug instead of confronting people or taking a stand. That only encourages the teachers to mis-handle their differences.

    I shouldn't complain, though, because they truly are angels. If you cry at my school, they surround you with love and concern. We just found out that we have to leave a bud vase on our desks at all times because a flower fairy will be visiting us weekly!!
     
  37. mathandme

    mathandme Rookie

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    Thank you so much guys. I feel much better now. I am lucky to be in a school where my fellow teachers are very supportive and kind.
    And I love my students a lot, even though I had to deal with a lot of behavioral issues. But I'm back on track now, and more ready than ever. Love you all!!!
     
  38. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    I feel for all of you having a rough time & I hope things quickly improve. For me, not only am I the only new teacher on the campus, but I'm the only sepcial ed teacher too!
     
  39. teachingmomof4

    teachingmomof4 Groupie

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    I have to admit, I have had a lot of great kids in my teaching career. However, I did do some crying during my first year of teaching. I had to share a regular classroom with another teacher who taught first grade while I was teaching second. We did a lot of things together but of course, we had to teach each grade's curriculum. Some days were pretty tough. I also had a student who has Asberger's (sp?) which is a form of Autism. He was quite a handful. I also had my share of ADHD cases and kids who didn't want to do their work, not to mention her students too. We worked okay together but she had a much shorter fuse than I do and small things would set her off. Then, the yelling would start. She was pretty demeaning to the students and often would make them cry. I was unsure of how to handle this, especially in front of the kids. I don't want it to sound like she was the meanest person ever because she did help me a lot with many different things but, she needed to work on her temper a little bit more.

    I have done looping now for the past 4 years and love it, so far. The first time, I was a little nervous about first grade but, after a few weeks, really started to enjoy myself. Last year, I taught first grade again and seriously thought about quitting. I had a group of students from you know where. One of the other teachers always says, "You can't even dream up your class." Needless to say, they are coming back to me as second graders in less than a week. UUgghh! Hopefully they've matured a little. I did some crying last year because of them and that was before my little runaway came. She moved here in January and didn't want to come into the classroom on her first day. I kept telling her and her mom that she would be fine. Boy, was I wrong. She ran out of the classroom and had a list of other infractions a whole notebook page long, all on the first day. She happens to be on my list again this year. Lucky me. She doesn't like substitutes and only runs when they are in the room. Therefore, I hope that I never get sick nor any of my 4 kids. Lots of luck there. Again, hopefully she has matured in the last 2 months.
     
  40. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    Aug 27, 2006

    Oh, wow. Nothing like starting off the year with something to look forward to! Good luck.
     

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