Harassed by aide because daughter is a long term sub.

Discussion in 'Paraprofessionals' started by teresaglass, Apr 16, 2009.

  1. teresaglass

    teresaglass Groupie

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    Apr 16, 2009

    Hi everyone,

    Thank you for letting me vent. I have been harassed by this other para for the whole year. She has yelled at me at meetings. She has belittled me in front of other assistants. She has told me several times that I should be assisting the most difficult kids in the school because I am new. She even made a remark to me about Jews hating Obama because I am Jewish. This happened during the November Election. I also applied for a special education teaching job at this school and did not get hired for it. Her daughter got hired for this job as a long term sub. I have a special education credential and a science credential. I am looking for other jobs. Yesterday she came to the lunch table while I was talking to two other assistants. We were all discussing CSETS and teaching jobs. She then mouthed off to me that I would never be hired in my district as a permanent teacher. She said that the only job I could get was a day to day sub. I told her I wanted a permanent position and then I told her that I did not like subbing. She then repeated that subbing was the only thing I could get and that I should be thankful that she was trying to help me. I told her that I did not want to sub and not to talk about it. She then yelled at me. She said YOU ONLY SUBBED IN PRIVATE SCHOOLS! YOU SHOULD LEAVE THIS SCHOOL AND GO SOMEWHERE ELSE! I then told her that subbing was beneath what I was qualified for. Then I told her I know you have to know someone to get a job at this school. After that she really exploded and said that I would never get a long term substitute job like her daughter and that I was a nobody!. She also said she was going to the Vice Principal in charge of special education and tell her that I insulted her and the school and that I was uncooperative. I stayed home from work today because I am afraid I will be fired. I wrote a long memo to the Principal and Vice Principal documenting this aide's harassment and bullying! I feel this assistant thinks I am trying to take her daughter's teaching job!. That is why she has been harassing me all year. I do not go to the union rep or anyone in the department because this assistant has been working at this school for 7 years and is a favorite of the teachers and of everyone else. I am just an ordinary assistant even though I have a good reputation for being intelligent and efficient. Even the union rep is her best friend!. I have a good reputation but now this assistant has ruined my career. I expect to be fired tomorrow. Should I go to an administrator with the memo?:help: I must be a loser. This is the second person at this school that is pushing me around. Should I resign?
     
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  3. jd123

    jd123 Cohort

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    Apr 16, 2009

    How terrible! Can the assistants you sat with back you up, as they witnessed her outburst? I am so sorry this has happened to you!
     
  4. txteach2b

    txteach2b Comrade

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    Apr 18, 2009

    You shouldn't be thinking of yourself this way! You are not a loser by any means!! This woman should not be bullying you, even if she thinks you are after her daughter's job, and it seems to me like you aren't. If I were you, I would go ahead and show them the memo.
     
  5. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Apr 18, 2009

    EEK- terrible situation...Please consider, though, that subbing is not beneath you. Subbing is a way to get your foot in the door, as is being a TA or para. Unfortunately, in your district you may be viewed as 'just an assistant'... Be careful what you say in the teachers' lounge and what you say in general about where you work and your feelings about subbing/para jobs/other school jobs. You never know how your words will be twisted. Have you been back to school yet? Did you send your memo to the principal/administrators or are you just still sitting on it? I think you should not send it but perhaps request a meeting with the principal to discuss your career goals. Don't mention the other para or her daughter at all in this conversation- rise above that. Do tell the principal that you are learning so much in this school, that you appreciate the opportunities that you've had here, etc and ask for his/her advice on how you can best package yourself to be hired as a teacher in this district or elsewhere. Does the P think that staying an aide or subbing in different places would be best to build your resume and experience, is there anything else you could be doing to make yourself more marketable. Regardless of where you end up and what job you have in a school (para, sub, teacher, aide, etc), you do need to know that the 'walls have ears', you need to watch what you say, be thankful for opportunities that you have, to learn from your experiences and to maintain a positive attitude...this will serve you better than any memo you could send and will ward off negativity from those like this other para...AND DO NOT RESIGN!! Do not let this situation you are in get to you. Be a professional, rise above it.
     
  6. scholarteacher

    scholarteacher Connoisseur

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    Apr 18, 2009

    Sorry to hear you're going through this, teresaglass! Hold you head up high and hand in there!
     
  7. teresaglass

    teresaglass Groupie

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    Apr 19, 2009

    I went back to school. This aide did not go to anyone. She has tried to speak to me but I have just ignored her. I am going to sit on the memo for now. I will have a copy ready if and when she decides to go to the administration. I am trying to stay away and avoid contact with her as much as possible.
     
  8. MzQualified

    MzQualified Comrade

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    Jun 6, 2009

    Update?

    So how did this turn out???

    I hate how catty and immature GROWN and sometimes VERY OLD:lol:
    teachers and assistants can be......
     
  9. teresaglass

    teresaglass Groupie

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    Jun 6, 2009

    This same assistant about a month ago told me that I could never be a teacher at the school because I was afraid of the students and I should go to work for a private school. I very sarcastically thanked her for her concern and told her that I found her opinion worthless. She also threatened to go to the administration but I told her that I had written the memo that showed a pattern of harassment and I intended to use it. She backed off and has not spoken to me since. She attended a teacher and staff meeting about our new bell schedule. Her daughter was at the same meeting as was I. Our school is a low income urban minority school. Anyway she raised her hand and said that she was from the European system of schools and that their bell schedule and classes were better than ours. A Spanish teacher from Chile sarcastically told her I am from South America! What difference does that make? The aide was embarassed. She has been hiding out ever since and will not talk to anyone.
     
  10. SwOcean Gal

    SwOcean Gal Devotee

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    Jul 6, 2009

    I must agree with czacza.

    As a sub that comment kind of hurts. I am sad to hear that subs are considered a lower caste than teachers in some areas- fortunately in my district all professionals are treated as such. I wish it were true everywhere. How terrible.

    I am sorry you are going through this. That was a terrible situation. Is next year going to be better? I hope so! Good luck!
     
  11. KinderESLtchr

    KinderESLtchr Rookie

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    Jul 11, 2009

    You may need to go ahead and go to someone before she does. She has a lengthy history of doing this to you it sounds like, and she is the one who should be fired. I once had a HORRIBLE teacher aide who was mean to the kids (she even spanked one in a total "no corporal punishment" district) and insubordinate to me (and I am the world's most easygoing person to work with--she just didn't want to do anything--she would try to sit and play with blocks like she was a student!) You should not have to deal with this harrassment. Go to someone you can trust--I just want you to have back up in case she tries to get you in trouble. You can never assume that people like that are rational. Best wishes and I hope the problem is resolved soon!
     

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