Guilt Saying No and How to Deal?

Discussion in 'Substitute Teachers' started by SetterHugger85, Feb 19, 2012.

  1. SetterHugger85

    SetterHugger85 Rookie

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    Feb 19, 2012

    This may be the silliest question ever, but I as an emotional human being need help with it.

    I sub for two districts. I am not feeling well today, and it has been getting worse. I contacted them and let them know I would not be able to sub tomorrow.

    One of them didn't get the message yet and called me. It was the first time I had ever turned down a sub offer over the phone, I have said yes so far to every one. I felt horrible. I explained I have not been feeling well, thanked her for thinking of me, and said good night.

    I feel like crap. Although for my health and so the class gets a sub that can be totally in the mindset to teach them I feel I did the right thing, it is hard for me to say no. Is this normal? Sigh.
     
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  3. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Feb 19, 2012

    You did what's right for you and the students. The school doesn't want a sick sub...you wouldn't be your best.
    Get well soon! Feel better!
     
  4. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Feb 19, 2012

    What cza said. You're fine, really. Feel better! :)
     
  5. ally06

    ally06 Companion

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    Feb 20, 2012

    Don't worry! Part of my job is ringing supply teachers when staff are absent and plenty of people have to turn down jobs for various reasons. I don't even give it a second thought.
    Feel better!
     
  6. mopar

    mopar Multitudinous

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    Feb 20, 2012

    That's the benefit of working as a sub. It is okay to say no when you have other things going on.
     
  7. TeachingHistory

    TeachingHistory Companion

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    Feb 20, 2012

    I had this conversation with my sister when I first started subbing. A job would pop up on Aesop and I would feel like I needed to take it. In her words "You'll get over that pretty quickly" Now the only time I feel bad about saying no is when a teacher I know contacts me personally and I have to turn them down. Usually the only reason I turn them down is if I'm sick (which is pretty much never) or I'm already scheduled. There's nothing I can do about it, but I still feel bad, mostly because I know the kids.
     
  8. Nitch

    Nitch Rookie

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    Feb 20, 2012

    It will change when you are feeling all bad about taking a day off then aesop calls and cancels one of your jobs and you have already lined up day care for that morning or what have you. It just happened to me. I'm sure I'll still find something tomorrow, but it's nice to have it set and know my stop and start times.
     
  9. SetterHugger85

    SetterHugger85 Rookie

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    Feb 20, 2012

    Thank you all so much! A weakness of mine is just "saying no"...people would ask me to work for them at other jobs and I just would say yes....I put myself last a lot, which in a way is why many say I am a very caring educator....but at the same time I see how this will come back to haunt me if I don't find balance.

    I really appreciate this and needed to hear it from others to live it, deal with it, you name it. Have a great day everyone :)
     
  10. subczy

    subczy Rookie

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    Feb 20, 2012

    Feeling guilty fades as you become more experienced. Setting our our schedule is a perk of the job. Whether it be for illness or just wanting to stay home - enjoy it and stop worrying.
     
  11. Lakerchic

    Lakerchic New Member

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    Feb 23, 2012

    I feel guilty about this sometimes. Like normal humans who work full time jobs, us subs get sick sometimes too! I had to cancel my job for yesterday because I was really sick. I had hoped a good night sleep would cure what had hit that evening, but I awoke feeling more ill and choose to cancel the job. Schools have enough trouble keeping kids healthy and in school without subs adding to the problem.
     
  12. CrayolaCrayon

    CrayolaCrayon Companion

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    Feb 26, 2012

    I also feel guilty when I turn down a job, whatever the reason may be. My guilt is also combined with worry that I am letting the school down and they won't call me again. I try to remind myself that the person calling EXPECTS to hear no sometimes. That's why they ask "Are you available?" and don't just order you to come in! It's a known fact that substitute teachers may have something else lined up for the day, or perhaps aren't feeling well themselves. We go school-to-school and are consequently exposed to more germs than most.

    Anyway - I hope you feel better, and know that you're not alone!
     
  13. Tek

    Tek Comrade

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    Feb 27, 2012

    I just said no to a 6th grade junior high half-day assignment. It's math and science... my two weakest subjects. I don't feel comfortable with jr. high math or science (I need to brush up on them)

    I didn't feel guilty about it though, since I knew I would probably do the kids an injustice.

    Thankfully, the subbing coordinator turned around and asked me if I could do a Monday half day 5th grade assignment. I said yes on the spot!
     

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