Growing up too fast?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by emmalyne, Jun 1, 2013.

  1. emmalyne

    emmalyne Rookie

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    Jun 1, 2013

    *Please don't take this topic as if I were bragging. I'm not. I'm just curious.*

    When you were youngins' did you ever feel like you grew up too fast? I'm 21 now, and ever since I was 15/16 I already knew what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to get my car at 17 (check), I wanted to be a teacher by 22 (semi-check), get married by 25 (semi-check, we've talked about marriage & we've been together for 2+ years), and adopt my first fur baby (dogs <3) at the age of 28. So far, everything is going according to plan. I just feel like at this 15/16, I'm matured faster than anybody else.
    When I was a sophomore in high school, I created a binder with all the courses of the teaching program at the college I was gonna apply to. I got into that college & completed their teacher program & i'm graduating next week.

    This was just a long ramble, lol. So for those who read this far, congrats.
     
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  3. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Jun 1, 2013

    No you're not growing up too fast...you just knew what you wanted to do...there's still a lot to learn and I'd advise you to learn as much as you can from your ST experience...some of your posts indicate strong opinions about parents, school policies and kids' behaviors...reflect upon your interactions and experiences...there's still much to learn...never stop learning.
     
  4. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    Jun 1, 2013

    Having a rigid plan doesn't mean you've got it all figured out. It might actually mean just the opposite. I've known plenty of people with it all figured out because they had a plan. However, it all fell apart and they didn't know what to do then. What's the plan when things don't work out? What if the teaching job doesn't come? What if the marriage doesn't happen? What if you want babies and they don't come? What about divorce? Death? They say life happens while you're busy making plans.
     
  5. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Jun 1, 2013

    I totally agree with Ima. Yes, it's nice to have a plan at a young age. I don't consider that growing up fast though. You have a vision & not just short-term goals, but long-term ones too, so that's nice.

    Sure, I remember when I was in HS, I was mature & had a good, sensible head on my shoulders. I didn't have as strict a plan as you did, but I had plans for sure. I was raised knowing that I'd automatically go to college...there was NO maybe or maybe not about it. I thought the perfect age to get married was between 23 & 27 too. I still think that's a perfect age range to marry. Did I get married during that range, no. But I wasn't hoping so madly either & when it didn't happen, was down in the dumps. I just said oh well. My career didn't quite happen the way I thought, but again, oh well!

    It's also good to have a plan B & C, (& maybe D). Don't be so rigid with your one plan because life doesn't always go to plan & if something happens that changes the plan, you don't want to be in a tizzy.
     
  6. comaba

    comaba Cohort

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    Jun 2, 2013

    I believe I reached maturity when I realized I don't have it all figured out.
     
  7. Mr.history

    Mr.history Cohort

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    Jun 2, 2013

    It's funny. I thought I had it all figured out last year too. I was graduating from college, was just engaged, and all seemed to be falling into place. Guess what? I didn't get a job last year and it threw my plans off completely. I always thought those who said college wasn't the "real world" were nuts, the last few months I've come to agree with them. I was lucky though, I was able to start my masters, move back in with my parents, and now I'm getting to start my career in August. Don't be without a back up plan.
     
  8. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

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    Jun 2, 2013

    This.....and when I started paying my own car insurance. :lol:
     
  9. yellowdaisies

    yellowdaisies Fanatic

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    Jun 2, 2013

    :yeahthat:

    My thoughts exactly.

    I am in my late 20s, and that is the lesson I've had to learn over the past decade. It's been a hard and exciting lesson to learn. I'm still learning it.
     
  10. Missy

    Missy Aficionado

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    Jun 2, 2013

    You may find out that what you want changes, along the way.

    I wanted to be a lawyer, became one, and found out I didn't enjoy it. I changed careers.

    I wanted several children; had two and was unable to have more. I love my family of four.

    I wanted to live close to my mom because she enjoyed my kids so much; she passed away when they were little.

    Find happiness as you go; life is about the journey, not the checklist.
     
  11. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    Jun 3, 2013

    Missy good advice...
    You know what they say about best laid plans.....
    You need to go with the flow sometimes.
    I know at that teen age stuff I wanted..some came true some didn't. That's life!!!
     
  12. monsieurteacher

    monsieurteacher Aficionado

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    Jun 3, 2013

    I love this post. Especially the last sentence. Very well said.
     
  13. lucybelle

    lucybelle Connoisseur

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    Jun 3, 2013

    I don't think I ever had a checklist. I have an idea more or less about things I might want to do. For example, I'd like to live in Italy for a year or two and in order to do that my esposo needs to get US citizenship which takes 3 years. So I have a rough plan of getting that together.

    I don't plan for things. I consider myself very immature. And I love it! One day it's not going to be okay for me to make all the crazy decisions I do. For now it is. And I love it.
     
  14. a2z

    a2z Maven

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    Jun 3, 2013

    Yep. :D
     
  15. sevenplus

    sevenplus Connoisseur

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    Jun 3, 2013

    I was a very mature, responsible high school/college student and young adult. I didn't have my life's plan "all figured out" but I worked hard, wasn't a partier, paid my way through college, married relatively young (23), and we've been financially responsible throughout our adult lives.

    I didn't know what I was going to do in life. I majored in one thing in college, worked in that field for a year or two, and then went back to college.

    But I don't think having a long term plan and following it means you grew up fast.

    While I didn't know what my career would be, I did know what I wanted family-wise. I wanted lots of kids. We're celebrating our 18th wedding anniversary today and we have just one living child. We've had terrible sadness as we've tried to grow our family.

    It's hard when life doesn't go the way you thought it would. But being flexible, finding support when you need it, and gaining strength through adversity is all part of being human.
     
  16. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    Jun 3, 2013

    Congratulations on your anniversary, sevenplus, and hugs to you on your losses. I've learned the same thing from my losses, which are also many. Not a lesson I ever wanted to learn..... Makes you realize how little control you really have.
     
  17. sevenplus

    sevenplus Connoisseur

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    Jun 3, 2013

    Thanks. Hugs to you, too. :hugs:
     
  18. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    Jun 3, 2013

    Daisy and Seven...you show others that you can go on with so many losses...thanks for sharing and HUGS to you both!!!
     
  19. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Jun 3, 2013

    I like Missy's post. :)

    I feel I "grew up fast" out of necessity because of life circumstances and family expectations. Never did have someone put a drop of gas in my car, or pay insurance, or give me a dollar for college, or really even care that I was in college. I had to live in a hellhole. Blah, blah, blah. My struggles and resulting "maturity" doesn't mean I had it all figured out, and it doesn't mean those fortunate enough to not have to "grow up" as fast I did are somehow less strong, responsible, or mature.

    Make sure you don't become obsessed with the checklist. It could lead to a lot of unhappiness and unfulfillment.
     
  20. bros

    bros Phenom

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    Jun 4, 2013

    I'm 22. I've had more bumps along the road than most people my age. Multiple Disabilities being chief among them.

    One thing I have learned is that even when you try your hardest to try to get what you want, sometimes you will not succeed on the first try. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you will never be able to do a certain thing.

    But, no matter what, you have to have hope. Without hope, there is nothing.

    When I got to my current college, I encountered many classmates who were much more anxious and tense than they had to be because they wanted to tick the next box on their checklists. Sure, some of them graduated a semester earlier than me and with a higher GPA (but not much higher, I have a 3.62, most people in my program that I had classes with graduate with a 3.75), but I was much happier with myself and I had much less stress.

    One thing they all asked me was "How are you not worrying about x?" To them, I always had a simple reply "I choose not to cause myself more anxiety than I already have. I know I will do well as long as I go at my own pace."

    Sometimes the people with checklists just need to stop and smell the roses.

    Anyway, sometimes things step in the way of your success, sometimes delaying it by a bit. There is no life without entropy. Live life in a way that makes you happy and be prepared for speed bumps along the way.
     

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