got my feelings hurt by a kindergartner :(

Discussion in 'Kindergarten' started by minnie, Sep 7, 2011.

  1. minnie

    minnie Habitué

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    Sep 7, 2011

    I had to call in sick the other day and my kids had a sub who will probably sub for me when I go on maternity leave. She's great and used to be a kindergarten teacher. As we were walking outside for P.E., one of my kids said "Our other teacher took us out for P.E. I really like her. I wish she was my teacher instead." Okay so I know that they are only kindergartners but that hurt my feelings for some reason. I'm afraid now that this sub is going to be this great teacher while I'm gone (which wouldn't be a bad thing) and then just totally dread me coming back.

    Has anyone had their feelings hurt by a five year old before?
     
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  3. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    You've got to grow a thicker skin. Kids say all sorts of things. Don't even stress about it.
     
  4. minnie

    minnie Habitué

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    I totally agree! I'm just super emotional right now! Just wanted to make sure that I'm not the only one whose every heard that.
     
  5. SpanishTeacher4

    SpanishTeacher4 Rookie

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    Little kids will say anything. Heck, I teach hs and I've heard the kids talking about how much they miss their teacher from last year... I don't let it get to me because not everyone thinks that..Don't worry because I'm sure you're an amazing teacher :)
     
  6. Joy

    Joy Cohort

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    As a sub, I have learned that Kindergarteners can have very BIG MOUTHS. Sometimes they don't even mean what they say. They will probably turn right around and say the same thing to the substitute. It is normal to feel a little hurt but I wouldn't take it personally.

    I had a group of Kindergarteners hurt my feelings so bad one day, I went home and cried. (I know, I shouldn't have let it bother me) Once the kids found out there was a sub for the day, I had a group of boys that kept staring at me and hysterically laughing. I sort of brushed it off and told them to get busy putting their stuff away. Then Miss Tattle Tale had to come up to me and say "Those boys keep laughing at you because your nose is so big!" Well I have never been told or felt that my nose was in the least bit large. In fact, I've always thought that I was lucky to have a somewhat smaller nose. As the day went on though, I felt just like Pinnochio. By the end of the day, in my mind, my nose was ginormous! I have sense recovered and think the same about my nose as I did before having that horrid class!

    You never know what a Kindergartener might say!
     
  7. HWilson

    HWilson Comrade

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    Sep 8, 2011

    How do you grow thicker skin? People tell me that all the time. I am SUPER sensitive and I just can't figure out how to make that skin grow!! :)
     
  8. PCdiva

    PCdiva Connoisseur

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    I agree!
     
  9. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Kids are weird. They are incapable of seeing the big picture; they see only one tiny little pixel at a time.

    By saying he wished Mrs. Sub was her teacher, he did NOT say he wishes you weren't. She just wishes she could have both. He wanted to play her fun game right now, but in 10 minutes he wants to do your fun activity.

    Picture a kid in an ice cream parlor. He has vanilla, and says "I wish I could have chocolate."

    He means he wants BOTH.

    You're interpreting it as he wants chocolate INSTEAD.

    Trust me, if he didn't like you, that's what he would have said.
     
  10. Joy

    Joy Cohort

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    You are who you are. Sometimes being a sensitive person is a good thing. You are more aware of how others might feel and that is important to you. I too have been told that I am sensitive. After being a sub, I feel like I've heard every compliment and insult on the planet! I don't worry as much about the little insults and try not to think about them. I think that doing that comes in time though and sometimes I still feel hurt every now and then by a careless comment that someone made. I am doing better at not thinking about it too much though!
     
  11. HWilson

    HWilson Comrade

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    Thanks! Great way to find the positive in the situation!!! :thumb:
     
  12. Marci07

    Marci07 Devotee

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    Working with middleschoolers I have heard that so many times. Some have told me that they liked a teacher much better and that I'm too strict, etc. Knowing that they're teenagers makes it easier for me not to get my feelings hurt.
     
  13. mom2sands

    mom2sands Comrade

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    I was told that I was fat before or called grandma. It didn't upset me because, heck I am plump and I am as old as some of their grandmothers. For one negative remark, I have received dozens of you're pretty, you look nice today, I like your hair, I like your shoes, I like your necklace or earrings, you look beautiful today (that was actually today). I love their innocence. I just explain to them that it's not nice to say things that might hurt people's feelings.
     
  14. waterfall

    waterfall Virtuoso

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    I had a 3rd grader last year that SEVERAL times literally pointed to my stomach and said "wow, are you having a baby?" Now I know some kids will bring it up because they've heard a lot about it at home or have a mom who is pregnant, but she was literally pointing to my stomach! I do carry more weight in my belly, but I'm still only a size 8. I know it's just an innocent comment, but I always felt kind of bad!
     
  15. Joy

    Joy Cohort

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    Wow! I would be soooo mad! Thankfully that has never happened to me (yet). I think I've heard everything else though.
     
  16. minnie

    minnie Habitué

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    Thanks everyone! I'm glad that I'm not the only one feels that way :)I was having a bad day that day so I was a little too sensitive. I know that kinders will say pretty much whatever is on their mind. Plus, for every "negative" comment they make, there are always five "postitive" comments such as "I love you", "You're dress is pretty..." and so on.

    (Sigh)...pregnancy sure has turned me into a crybaby!
     
  17. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    I don't know how one would exactly become less sensitive. I'm sensitive...it's who I am.

    If it makes you feel better, I had a seventh grade student from last year come up to me this week and say, "Wow, I wish you would have lost all that weight when you were my teacher...you're pretty now." Yeah. Ummm...thanks?
     
  18. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    I'm so sorry; but sometimes kids just don't think how words will affect someone.
    I've taught for a number of years and I know what I would have said..."I'm so glad you liked her. She's nice."
    then, let it go. Even if it bothered me, and I know it would have, I have since learned to do that.
    we adults may think like kids, but we've been taught to not hurt people's feelings.
     
  19. ilovemath

    ilovemath New Member

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    Jan 7, 2012

     
  20. Cerek

    Cerek Aficionado

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    We ALL have times when a comment will strike deeper than we expect or than it should. We're human and it happens. No matter how much we might try to deny it, what other people (and kids) think about us DOES matter. It may not matter as much to some as others, but it still affects us on some level. In fact, I think I've only met one person in my life that I honestly think couldn't care less what anyone else thinks about him.

    So how do you become less sensitive to remarks made by kids, peers, parents, etc.


    1) For students, it always helps to remember they are KIDS and often don't think about what they are saying at all or how it will affect others. Also, like Alice pointed out, often it is just what happens to be on their mind at that specific moment in time. Ten minutes later, they may well say YOU are their favorite teacher ever. It is very rare that I let a comment from a student bother me at all. In fact, I had some girls in my class last year who came to me more than once telling me "So-and-so is saying really bad things about you." Each time, I told them "I don't really care what So-and-so says about me out of class, as long as (s)he does his work IN class." I did follow up on one comment, though, because it contained a profane vulgarity that would warrant a trip to the office if the student actually said it. I still wasn't upset the student might have made the remark about me, but the remark itself would need to be addressed if it had been made. The student denied the remark and, since I only had hearsay to go on, I let it go.

    2) Be secure in who you are![/i] If you truly feel good and secure about yourself, comments from others will matter a LOT less. When we aren't fully secure in ourselves, we look for approval and validation from others, which naturally makes us more sensitive to their remarks. Once you can truly accept who you are the way you are, you will find remarks from others don't have nearly the same impact.

    This is an issue I struggled with for a long time. I was very short and skinny through all of my school years, until college. High school was especially hard since I wasn't good-looking or athletic enough, by some standards. Even in college, I was still pretty skinny, but had at least grown taller. The bottom line, though, was that I still had a low self-esteem and often brushed it off when others paid me compliments, because I didn't really believe it. I finally reached a point where I could celebrate my differences rather than complaining about them and I reached a point where I DID like myself the way I was. Since then, the comments and opinions of others hasn't mattered nearly as much. I know that I have certain strengths and understand what they are. I focus on those when I start to have doubts.

    As a teacher, I know what I do well and I know which areas I need to improve. I know from experience that it doesn't matter what age group of kids I'm teaching or the content being covered, I will be able to handle the situation, keep the kids under control and get the day's assignment done. If the material is far out of my experience (like art, music, shop, etc), I will still be able to get the assignment done and keep the kids in control. I know this because I've been in each of those situations.

    Sorry for the long dissertation, but I like to give personal experiences to show how I've overcome similar situations rather than just giving a couple of lines of advice and letting you figure out how to do it.

    The bottom line is to have confidence in yourself, your skills, abilities, knowledge and techniques. When you have that confidence, the comments of others won't impact you as much.
     
  21. jessiiteach

    jessiiteach Companion

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    I have been told I have big teeth, and that made me realize to these tiny kids everything must look so big.

    I was also told "you have a big tooth." I had chipped a tooth but didn't think it was noticeable. I was grateful that someone told me it was noticeable! I am getting it fixed on Tuesday lol.
     
  22. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    Jan 7, 2012

    You can't be every child's favorite teacher. I know we hope we are but it just isn't the case. I have always had an aide work in my classroom. The students tend to bond with one or the other of us. And will say they like Mrs. T better then me. Or tell Mrs. T. that they like me better then her. We just think it is great they are enjoying school. This yr the aide I started with got a different job. And one of my little ones said she wasn't going to come to school any more because Mrs. ... wasn't there any more. I just told her I would miss her and hoped she would still come.
     
  23. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    My student told me I am his favorite teacher....after his teacher from last year. Yeah, we probably have all heard it.
     
  24. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    Jan 7, 2012

    kids not only in kindergarten, but also in middle school and high school say things like this. First of all when there's a sub, they'll most likely hate or love him/her. The teachers often plan funner / easier activities to make it easier for the sub, -> this leads the kids the like them more, but also sometimes it's good to have a new face.
    When I was subbing, I heard the kids say so many times that they liked me more than their teacher. Yeah, sure, for 1 day :)
    And then I'm sure just as many couldn't stand me, or didn't care. It doesn't really matter.
    Now, when I had my sub, I made sure I chose one that will keep the kids disciplined and will carry on the same routine we had. I knew the kids would love her, and they did.
    When I went back the next day, they told me how they loved her, and when they have their bad days, they say loudly "I miss Miss A, she's my favorite teacher"
    Did it hurt my feelings? No, because you can't let a 5 or a 17 year old (or anyone in between) hurt your feelings. You just can't.
     
  25. Chicago Heather

    Chicago Heather Rookie

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    Jan 9, 2012

    I completely agree... a teacher can be a child's "favorite" for the silliest reasons, totally apart from whether the child really truly likes the teachers -- such as because he/she served a good snack one afternoon. I wouldn't let it bother you at all. :)
     

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