I have been on maternity leave for 15 weeks! I have to go back tomorrow. I have been crying about it all day long!! I only go back part time (thur/fri and every other wed) but since tomorrows an inservice day I have to be there. I am going to stay home after this year but it feels like May is so far away. Shes not going to day care which is another plus but still. I have a lump in my throat as I even type I am not looking forward to seeing people tomorrow and having them say "how does it feel"...uh like total crap!! And then the other response I always get is..."you had a long time off- more than most"...uh is that suppose to make me feel better??? Who wants to leave their baby ever? I am in such a bad mood about all of this! Thanks for letting me vent!
Hang in there. I've been in those shoes-- and they hurt like crazy! I'm guessing that people will see the look in your eyes and avoid the kinds of comments you mentioned. Bring lots of pictures and talk about all the wonderful things your daughter does to light up your life. She WILL be fine, and so will you. Honest.
Hanvan, I am sorry that you are feeling sad! I hope that your day goes well. Hopefully, you will get back into the swing of things quickly. Good luck!
This is one of the hardest situations to be in. That pull toward joining with your baby has got to be the strongest on earth (guess that was planned in advance). What you should try and do is to accept your feelings but recognize that though they are normal, very intense, feelings, they don't indicate anything negative. They won't stop your bonding with your baby, won't affect your baby's adjustment or her response to you when you are home, won't delay her in any way. So, if you can separate your feelings of loss for yourself from your feelings of love for your baby, maybe that will help you deal with them. Emotions get so mixed up when they are this intense that it is hard to get a handle on them. You need to be realistic, though, and mixed-up emotions don't help! Since you have already decided upon a plan to approach the family/work tradeoff, you need to get yourself together enough to carry it out - without torturing yourself. If you can accept your deep feelings for what they are, know that you have arranged a perfectly caring, responsible child care arrangement, and move forward, you will survive! And, guess what? Your baby will learn that she can depend on you to come back home and love her. She will also learn to adapt to other caregiving styles. These are important things to learn! I know it is easier said than done, believe me, but you can do this.
I went back to work when my kids were little and it was really hard. I know this may sound hard to believe but each day it gets easier, really it does. It will be harder on you than on her. Like upsadaisy said, your little one will learn that she can depend on you to come back...that is important. So plan on crying tomorrow and for many days but really, it does get better. May sounds like an eternity right now but think about what comes after that. You will be home for her! Good luck, I know it is not easy!
Along with everyone else here, I know it hurts. I worked for a short time when my first was little and I hated it. My heart goes out to you, but I'm sure your colleagues will understand and empathise with you. No-one tells you about the bucketloads of guilt that come with being a mother, but we've all had to deal with it in some way. Hope your day is okay.
I hope your day goes quickly for you today. I hope that you'll see some good things to a few days away from the baby, Its tough being away but you need some space too (even at work). Your sweetie will be even happier to see you when you get back.
oh...thursday was my first teaching day and it was horrible. i cried at lunch and break. being w/o her broke my heart. today was better though.
I am right there with you! I cried all the way to school from the babysitters. Today I had a break down in my principal's office. I am going to partime and taking next year off.
Good for you!!!! I almost walked into my princ off and told her I QUIT! But I knew that wasn't right and my friend/partner would have to work full time if one of us quit-its in our contract. She has a baby too and I couldn't do that to her. I just have to keep telling myself I am part time and we are half way through the year. 101dalmatian-how old is your baby? Heres mine...shes 3 mths (almost 4)
You both have beautiful babies. Hanvan, can you call you baby's sitter on your lunch and break so you can talk to the baby?--I bet she will perk up hearing your voice even if she cant talk to you back. It might make you feel better.
HOw funny-- I'm on the opposite end. I just went back in September after 6 years home with my kid. They were years I'll always treasure. While some of the days took FOREVER, the weeks and months and years just flew by!
BIG HUGS hanvan!!! I hope you are doing better. I know how hard it is. I cried forever when I went back to work after my son was born.
