Go on Date or No?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Maithal, Aug 23, 2014.

  1. Maithal

    Maithal Cohort

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    Aug 23, 2014

    A guy from match.com that lives 1 hour away from me contacted me. Seems like a nice guy.

    Date is tonight but I got thinking: He's in school finishing up his bachelors degree and will be applying to schools for either Physicians assistant or nursing in his state (he's in diff state than me).

    So I got thinking what if he goes out of state and ends up long distance. I asked him that, and he said there is a chance he could end up long distance at a college in other side of US and now he's talking about deployment (he's in national guard) although he says it's not likely he has to mentally prepare.

    I don't want a remake of my ex with focus on school. My ex was in nurse practitioner program and him to get deployed but getting ahead of myself now too.

    Would you go on date? He just said he can't guarantee long term if we hit it off.
     
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  3. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Virtuoso

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    Aug 23, 2014

    It's just a date. You never guarantee long term no matter what. Go. Have fun.
     
  4. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Aug 23, 2014

    Go ahead & go. See if you like him first.
     
  5. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    You're over thinking this. Go. Relax. Have fun.
     
  6. BumbleB

    BumbleB Habitué

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    Yep. Go and enjoy yourself! :p
     
  7. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    I agree. This is one date. Go and have fun!
     
  8. Maithal

    Maithal Cohort

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    Aug 23, 2014

    He turned me down saying his situation was very uncertain. This was after I told him I was ready for the date.

    His loss!
     
  9. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Maven

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    Aug 23, 2014

    Sounds like you scared him away by asking those questions. :unsure:
     
  10. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    I agree.
     
  11. Maithal

    Maithal Cohort

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    No, he himself said he was thinking his situation was uncertain too even before I asked him this question, and that it's best we don't meet. I didn't really question it further.
     
  12. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Good luck, Maithal.
     
  13. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Maven

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    He should have thought about that before he put himself on a dating site! Oh, well...there are plenty of fish in the sea.
     
  14. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    Aug 23, 2014

    I think it depends on what you're looking for. I was on a dating site for 3 months, with the desire to meet someone for a relationship (which I did, and we have been together for almost 2 months).
    So while it was nice to go on dates, with just the thought of having fun, meeting new people, being open minded, I also didn't want to waste my time, so I declined anyone who lived 45 minutes or further from me. I went on a couple of dates with 2 guys, on 4 dates (1 month) with another and then I met BF. All these guys fit the criteria of a possible relationship :) )It is already hard to make time and make a relationship work, I didn't want to add the problems of added distance. There are plenty of guys to fall in love with who live closer.
    I, myself would not even want to go on a date with someone who might move out of town, or out of state - for me, that's just a major waste of time.

    But if you just want to go on a date and have a nice time - then enjoy yourself :)
     
  15. Maithal

    Maithal Cohort

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    Aug 24, 2014

    Thanks for all your replies. This guy kept saying last night that he should've thought this through (his situation) before jumping into agreeing to go out with me.

    He initially told me he would not get deployed (no chance of it except in US for 1 week to help with national disasters, etc), but then he changed his tune to say he could get deployed outside of US.

    I wasn't feeling this, but for good reason. I actually told him we should still meet and he kept saying no I don't think it's a good idea and then apologized saying he was a jerk for this.

    So, all in all, I feel I dodged a bullet. He wasn't truthful from the get go. I agree, life is uncertain, and things have a funny way of working out, but I also know that he had so much that he's focusing on outside of a relationship and I want someone who can be in the right frame of mind to want to pursue a meaningful relationship with me. That is, if it's meant to be. Not someone who's half into the relationship.

    I totally agree with you Linguist92021. You seem very much like me in the way you go about relationships. Hope you and your bf work out long-term. :)
     
  16. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Aug 24, 2014

    Maithal, oh well, live & learn! Another guy will come along.
     
  17. Maithal

    Maithal Cohort

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    I sure am breathing a sigh of relief. My life doesn't seem aligned with his. I commend him for going for his dreams and supporting our country in the national guard, but I don't feel we mesh together the way we should. As he said, he's not ready for a relationship and I am not ready to be with someone like him.

    Enough said. :) Thanks everyone!
     
  18. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Uh huh.
     
  19. stargirl

    stargirl Companion

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    Aug 24, 2014

    It looks like things are resolved, but I don't see anything wrong with not wanting to get involved in something that looks like it would be headed to a very long distance relationship almost immediately. If you guys had already met/knew each other previously, it would be different because you'd have some sort of history together but it's different when you've only met online.
     

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