Gifting to your child's husband or wife

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by happygirl444, Nov 15, 2021.

  1. happygirl444

    happygirl444 Rookie

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    Nov 15, 2021

    How do you gift to your children and your sons-in-law and daughters-in-law? Do you spend the same amount? Do a couple gift? Or spend different amounts on each? Just curious.
     
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  3. geoteacher

    geoteacher Devotee

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    Nov 15, 2021

    They are treated just like our children.
     
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  4. happygirl444

    happygirl444 Rookie

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    Nov 18, 2021

    That's nice! I would want to be an in-law in your family!
     
  5. nklauste

    nklauste Comrade

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    Nov 18, 2021

    My parents spend the same amount on my husband and my brother's significant other as they do on us (or we get a couple gift that the value is the same as the combined amount). My in-laws get my husband something small with thought and I get whatever random item his mother wants to get rid of typically and my sister-in-law gets something off her very expensive wish list.
     
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  6. vickilyn

    vickilyn Multitudinous

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    Nov 20, 2021

    I think I am lucky to be in a family where all members are treated the same, without any consideration of how they came into the family. Some came in via marriage, others by birth, and others yet by proximity, having the same standing as those born into the family by virtue of proximity or the amount and quality of time shared with the family. To OP, I'm guessing that you have different guidelines for inclusion, and I wouldn't envy you having to apply the qualifications for gifting, and believe me when I say that with sincerity and no ill will. Here's hoping that your holidays will be warm and filled with love.
     
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  7. happygirl444

    happygirl444 Rookie

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    Nov 21, 2021

    Vickilyn-I have young children so this does not impact me yet. My parents give a joint gift to my husband and me. My in-laws give according to how much they like people so someone may get $100 and another person who has the same position in their family gets $20. One might get a card in the mail and the other gets a party thrown for them with presents. Sometimes I have been on the liking end and sometimes on the disliking end. I always know, through gifts, where I stand with them, so I guess that is a positive thing. I was just wondering what other families did.
     
  8. stargirl

    stargirl Companion

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    Nov 21, 2021

    My parents treat everyone the same.
    My grandparents did too, as far as I know.
    I do have an aunt who treats you differently (not just gifts, also with the seating arrangement if she hosts a celebration or other big occasion) based on whether you are on her good list or not (which basically means she "approves" of your current life choices) and it's pretty obvious and petty. :cool:
     
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  9. vickilyn

    vickilyn Multitudinous

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    Nov 21, 2021

    I think every family has at least one member who likes to "editorialize" their opinions about everything you mentioned - there is a distant aunt who sounds like she shares the same playbook as your aunt. Never liked it, and I would never want to be that kind of person. Wishing you happy holidays free from people who are judgemental.
     
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  10. happygirl444

    happygirl444 Rookie

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    Nov 22, 2021

    Wow, stargirl. It is interesting that your parents (who have her as a sibling) and your grandparents (who have her as a daughter) were fair but she plays favorites. In my husband's family, there is a history of relatives doing antics so I figured they learned it from them.
     
  11. stargirl

    stargirl Companion

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    Nov 22, 2021

    It's actually my uncle's wife so she's my aunt by marriage.
    But, my uncle and mother don't always get along so well so I think part of it is transferred down to my mom's children as a passive agreement swipe at her. It's all subconsciously done of course, but it's obvious to us on the receiving end. It's not all of my mom's children just some of us, depending on our life status (like, the single ones are definitely not on the "good list" which is so so stupid.:rolleyes:
     
  12. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Virtuoso

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    Nov 23, 2021 at 6:38 PM

    We buy the same for DSS and his partner. We generally give them the same things in their Christmas stockings, then an individual gift each, and then a couple’s gift.

    This year they are getting a stocking with fun stuff, and then we are taking them to Las Vegas for a few days.
     
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  13. Viktoria765

    Viktoria765 Rookie

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    Nov 24, 2021 at 12:41 PM

    I realize that I'm also from one of such families. We always treat each other the same and when it comes to choosing gifts we don't take into account the financial situation, age, or family position. All gifts are equal. We have a tradition to present each other with something cute and memorable (not always expensive). This year I'm on a budget, so I decided to earn extra money before the holidays (fortunately, my friends from https://letsgradeit.com/review/essaysupply/ agreed to help me). I guess I'll find something unique for everyone according to his/her interests or preferences. For example, my mother-in-law started collecting candles last year, so I'm going to find a nice candle and a candlestick for her. Maybe I'll even make it by myself.
     
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2021 at 4:40 PM
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  14. vickilyn

    vickilyn Multitudinous

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    Nov 24, 2021 at 5:29 PM

    Take it from this mother - if you make it yourself it will become a permanent keepsake, no matter what it looks like. The perfection in the gift is that you realized she collects them, and then you spent your time trying to please. Smart girl - happy holidays!
     
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  15. Viktoria765

    Viktoria765 Rookie

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    Nov 25, 2021 at 4:43 PM

    Thanks for your reply and kind words! I always like handmade gifts as they are personalized and created with love. I hope my MIL will like my gift. Happy holidays!
     
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  16. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

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    Nov 26, 2021 at 2:49 PM

    New girlfriend/boyfriends may not get the same, but spouses and established couples do.
     

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