My friend from college is getting married. This is going to a very small wedding held at a restaurant. There are no bridesmaids either (just to give you an idea how small it is). I was shocked I was even invited. The wedding is not until Dec., but a bunch of her friends/sister and I are doing a spa day followed by a "shower" held at a restaurant where we each pay for our own food, but it's in a private room. I'm also unemployed. It was suggested that we each give $ to help pay a hotel room the night of the wedding or for the honeymoon. I doubt the bride-to-be suggested this because the shower is a surprise and she's trying to keep everything VERY simple. I was never big on giving money as a gift to begin with. Since I'm not working, I'd prefer not to give $ esp. since we are paying for services at the spa (I'm getting shellac manicure as a big treat to myself) and since we are all splitting the cost of her spa service which is $180 (almost $19 each). I would rather get her something for the shower, but for the wedding I'm going to get her a Lenox picture frame. Here's ani dea I had. http://www.jessicaswedding.com/Pink-Pastel-Tote-Bags-Personalized-Free/productinfo/PD320-PNK/ If I get her the bag, I was thinking of personalizing it with her new last name. She's also a teacher so I know she'd get use out of the bag. I'm thinking you might all say chip in and just give $, but I like to be thoughtful. What do you all think?
I agree & it looks kind of cheap...because it is cheap. But hey, I realize that when money's tight, a person does the best they can & it's the thought that counts. It's a nice gesture. Do it however you want!
I realize that things differ by region, but I think I would find something else. Around here, a shower gift is something the couple can use in their life together, not something she can use for work. If you can't swing a day at the spa, then decline. That would save you the cost of the manicure, as well as the $19 you would be paying as your share. But I would find something different to give as a shower gift. If she's getting married in December, how about some Christmassy stuff for her new home? Get her some really nice ornaments, or start her off on a Nikko Christmas China collection. If you add the $15 you were planning to spend, the $19 that's your share, and the money you would have spent on the manicure, you could get her something that the newlyweds would treasure.
You don't need to chip in on the hotel room. If you are going to the shower lunch, bring a gift for the couple's new life together...the bag isn't a nice shower gift, :sorry: If you really can't afford to go at all, save what you would have spent and put it towards a wedding gift.
If your friend is doing a simple, small wedding, I am sure she is more interested in the time spent with you than what you bring her. I definitely wouldn't NOT participate in the spa day just because you can't bring her a nice gift. However, I would make sure that the other friends know right away that you will be bringing your own gift and not pitching in for the hotel room - they might be relying on splitting among a certain number of people. I don't like the bag, either, but I think you can still do a nice gift on a budget. A lot of my friends got married right out of high school or college, so it was tight to buy them something nice. A favorite gift was a picnic basket filled with chocolates and a bottle of wine. If you can't find a picnic basket in your budget, try making one by getting a basket with a handle and getting plates, cups, silverware, maybe a tablecloth at the dollar store. Here is a cute basket for $12.99 http://www.amazon.com/Chipwood-Picn...&qid=1347195465&sr=8-8&keywords=picnic+basket I have also gotten a friend a cute nightie for a shower gift for under $20 at Macy's. It was on sale. I also like the idea of some holiday decorations with a "our first Christmas together" ornament.
Well, the first thing I would do if I was unemployed would be to skip the spa day and start saving up for the wedding. I agree that if you go to the shower then you should tell them you would be bringing your own gift. Does she not have a registry? I think it's extremely hard to buy a shower gift if you don't have anything to go on.
I agree with silver that just because you can't afford a "nice" gift doesn't mean you shouldn't attend the shower. What a sad idea. I've only been to one wedding shower in my life that I recall and the gifts were all strictly for the bride.
Just curious since we just finished the "wedding cycle", what kinds of gifts were given? Maithal...sorry to hear you're out of a job....how long had you been at your last job?
Every shower I've been to has had gifts that are mainly just for the bride. NOT stuff for work though. I would skip the bag unless you're going to fill it with additional gifts. Usually people give lingerie (you could definitely find a cute nightie on sale or something) or in one case, travel-type items to use on the honeymoon. Occasionally nice home stuff as well. I would honestly just skip the shower since money is that tight and it sounds like you're not actually that close anymore. People have suggested saving the money and put it towards a nice wedding gift. I think that's a nice idea. That or get a regular manicure instead of a more expensive one and use that extra money on a gift or contribution. Whatever you do, definitely let them know ASAP if you're not contributing to the hotel. ETA: The biggest hit at the last shower I attended was a set of customized undies that said Mrs. ______ with the last name of the groom. Embarrassing, funny, and thoughtful! :lol:
If you want to give something to the bride-to-be, a beautiful, sexy negligee would be great. At my nieces shower, she got a few. Do what you can afford and nothing more. I don't like the idea of chipping in the $, especially under the circumstances.
Thanks everyone! She's a fairly good friend so I feel I should go to the spa event and the shower. Any other ideas for gifts that are fairly reasonable. I know she wouldn't like lingere items. She's not even that type. They're very religious. I already said to the person who suggested chipping in $ that I rather give a gift instead, and she said the bride wouldn't mind that. She doesn't have a registry. As I said, they're keeping things as simple as can be. What other ideas do you have for gifts? She's not an alcohol drinker otherwise, I would give 2 wine glasses. Hmmm!
If she's fairly religous, how about if a bunch of you chip in and get her a nice Nativity set for Christmas??? When we got engaged, I asked for that as an engagement gift from my inlaws-- they wanted to get us something special but couldn't decide what. We've been married 23 years, and I still adore that set. And now that they're not with us, I'll think of them every time I put it out.
Relgious as in Christian? Maybe a book about how to create and maintain a strong Christian marriage? Or a book that walks a couple through daily verses and passages together?
I like the idea of some beautiful ornaments to start their collection. If they are Christian, what about a nativity set?
I like the idea of natavity, too. If they don't want to go in on that, there are other related options. Even though my beliefs have changed, I still treasure my egg nativity. I think it's beautiful, and it plays music. It was a gift from Avon several years ago. I actually still keep it up year-round in a spare bedroom. http://www.tias.com/4270/PictPage/1921092317.html
That's lovely JustMe. Mine is the Christopher Collection: http://www.worthpoint.com/worthopedia/lefton-christopher-collection-porcelain-nativity
How about coffee mugs that say Mr. and Mrs. and a bunch of different types of coffee they could drink together? I just talk to her sister and she said that sounds perfect b/c her fiance is a HUGE HUGE coffee drinker.
Put it in a basket...you could add a French press coffee pot, some napkins, maybe a sugar bowl..that would be a nice gift.
French press coffee is delicious. BB&B has one for $9.99 and up from there. How much were you planning on spending?
I did the picnic basket for my friend who was very religious (they didn't even kiss before the wedding). Instead of wine I just did chocolates, candles, and a homemade book of romantic poetry and quotes that I made with my scrapbooking stuff.
I love doing a picnic basket. I usually include a gift card to a grocery store. I always get enthusiastic thank yous when I do that!
Seriously though, my best friend is pretty modest, but when she got married, I got her two cute nighties - something along these lines. http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/...oryID=55809#fn=sp=1&spc=40&ruleId=5&slotId=28 Lingerie doesn't have to be slutty, but it's nice to look attractive when you go to bed as a newlywed. lol. I think before that she was sleeping in flannel pjs. She really liked them and she mentioned that he did, too.
Some kind of nice frame to put a few pictures in as they start their lives together. Hey, even a gift certificate to a very nice restaurant in town is good if you're short on money.
Even though I object to the word slutty (how can something for a husband and wife be slutty?!), I totally agree. You don't have to buy something over the top. I felt weird getting something too sexy for a relative who was recently married, so I picked up a very cute little something that would be more accurately described as a PJ set. It was a silky tank and matching shorts in a pretty color. I'm also short on funds and I was able to find something high quality on sale for $20 at a designer outlet type store (Loehmann's). She loved it! I can't look up examples because I'm in public, but I can't imagine being religious having anything to do with looking nice when living with your new husband! I live with my significant other and I tend to wear old, ratty t-shirts and PJ pants around the house and to bed. I wish someone would get me something pretty! :lol:
Sorry, you are right. I certainly wouldn't feel slutty in it in front of my husband, or fiance for that matter. lol
