Getting respect as a daycare preschool teacher

Discussion in 'Early Childhood Education Archives' started by Grammy Teacher, Aug 14, 2004.

  1. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Hi! I decided to come back and comment. Maybe I am being too modest in saying that I don't think I make such a huge difference in the children's lives. Maybe you are right...Many have told me to go on to school in the past (too old now!) but I have chosen to make this my career. I like the age group and the freedom I have at my job. There are many who show their respect and I am so thankful for them...it gives me a good feeling and I like it when people tell me I am a great teacher and person, don't you? I think there are so many terrible parents out there and I sometimes I get discouraged... they just sicken me... just need to be boosted up after all these years. I work so hard...every single day...for the kids and their families. My family and some of the nice co-workers remembered my 14 years...maybe I expected more at work...I don't know.
     
  2. debbie

    debbie Rookie

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    understand

    I think that this is a career that happens for people who do for others all the time and do not often get back in their lives what they put out. I understand the postings of teachers saying But I do it for the kids what's wrong with you?! but when you have been doing this for years (as I have as well--I am 38 and having been working with kids since i was 17 and got my degree at 30 and really try to put my all in every day. I work from the heart. I can be a thankless job in some respects (no one really knows all you do or give) but I guess the reward is as always when you really help a child and know that that will last for a lifetime.. I had two teachers who did that for me and I will never forget them or what they did for me. Still--day to day is hard because it draws so much on you as a person. I find sometimes I am at a total loss of patience and not able to understand why the children would treat me so horrendously and when I come home I realize oh I'm not being as thoughtful or creative in my response only responding emotionally and I guess that as a teacher that is not too effective. but again, we've been doing this a long time and that is draining. Not alot of energy that I once had to approach things in this respect. don't give up. I really appreciated your response about my introverted child. This is exactly the kind of kid I was supposed to help.
     
  3. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    Oct 15, 2004

    I worked for a time at a child care resource and referral organization. It was tax funded and served a large county. It also administered the state family child care subsidies for that county. Anyway, I was in charge of a campaign to publicize quality early childhood education. Target gave us a quarter million dollar grant. They were focused on ECE at that time. Don't know if they still are. Still, it was a tough sell, even with the money behind us. I think it comes, in part, from the attitude that doesn't respect women in their role as mothers. The mindset that thinks, if any woman can watch kids in her home, how tough could it be? Of course that is just totally ridiculous in so many ways that it doesn't bear analyzing!
     
  4. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    I work in a rather large center as the Preschool Teacher...I am much older than you are....I think it's the "times" that get to me...how families are so different now...I feel so sorry for the kids. Just gets to me...the kids are so undisciplined...and I work so hard to try and instill some manners in them.
     
  5. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    Absolutely. We talk about this almost daily at our school - how the changes in society have not been helpful for children's learning. But, I must say, our small school is successful in expecting the traditional values and behaviors. (I am over 50 so not so young!)
     
  6. Oct 29, 2004

    Day care and preschool

    I just became a kinship foster parent so my wife and I suddenly had
    to find day care. We knew that a certain day care center that
    rhymes with La Petite Academy was reputable so we gave it a try.
    It was satisfactory per se, but a few things bothered us. Sometimes
    our daughter's shoes would be backwards. The directer/RN was
    a control freak who forgot that she was supposed to be the servant.
    Many of female staff members
    and other ladies would laugh at the most foolish things. Somewhat
    sophomoric I'd say. I'm not presumptuous nor misogynistic,
    it just seemed that something was amiss for us. Yes, it was structured and
    educational, but we decided to switch to a day care at home option.
    We have an experienced person who is licensed and very capable.
    She is not a certified teacher, but shiny badges do not impress me
    much. A certificate does not a teacher make. She knows what
    she is doing.
     
  7. hometeacher

    hometeacher Companion

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    Nov 13, 2004


    why does it feel weird if their child is present?
    i am very lucky to teach to my own son. i am like a mom to everyone.
    these are only small children. i think it just shows parents that i do really care about a child's education, even my own child's.

    i dont think people feel uncomfortable that of my montessori school is in part of my house or that my son is in their childs class.
    i feel i am able to relate to them.
     
  8. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    I don't see anything wrong with the director's own children going there either.
     
  9. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    Nov 14, 2004

    Hometeacher, There are smaller, local centers that don't advertise because they rely on word of mouth for advertising. Or it could be that they don't have any openings. I use to run a local center and I had a waiting list. The only advertising that I may have had to do was in the spring/summer for fall openings. Don't rule out a center because you don't see an ad, the parents may be walking advertizements for the center.
     
  10. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    I ran a childcare center for awhile and my child came with me every day. I couldn't have afforded childcare if it wasn't for the discount I got on the tuition as the director. It may seem awkward for the teachers, but if you have a director that understands and doesn't hover over you because her child is in there then there shouldn't be a problem. The directors children have every right to be there as much as any other.
     
  11. MisterG

    MisterG Comrade

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    Dec 15, 2004

    I havent read the replies...dont have that much time during my lunch...but here is my perspective.

    I think that yes...compared to regular teachers...they do get less respect.

    I am a K teacher and...well right now...I give daycare providers alot of respect...but only a certain few who seem to actually be doing something with my students while they are there at the center. Two of my students come from daycares that are more of a "pay us...and we will watch your child play" daycare. One of my two students is having problems and part of it is because she comes from a non-structured daycare (I teach half-days) which doesnt do anything educational at all. And daycares for the most part, are less likely (in my and others opionions that I have talked to) to let the parents know of any issue...because the parents are paying them to take care of their child...thats their paycheck.

    So yes...I do respect daycare providers...if they can provide a stuctured (when needed) learning environment where the students actually do something educational. This then turns around and greatly helps the student when they get to Kindergarten.
     
  12. MisterG

    MisterG Comrade

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    Dec 15, 2004

    that didnt make sense....

    in my opinion...and from hearing what others have also brought up....daycare providers are lless likely to let parents know of any issues as far as behavior...or emotional. For example...the student in my class being an issue...goes to this one daycare and the parent says there are no issues there...which I find impossible to believe...because at school...her behavior has been going down hill with hitting and slapping along with namecalling..and I find this very hard to believe it is only happening when she is with me. Her behavior simply can not be switched on and off like a switch from one classroom setting to another.
     
  13. Abby

    Abby Guest

    Dec 15, 2004

    well here's my penny's worth on the subject. I agree with Grammy Teacher, it really bothers me and hurts me, I see how the parents are with their kids, especially the ones I have fulltime. I have this one kid who comes in early and goes home late every day and she has not had one day off daycare since I started even last week when she came in with a perforated eardrum all her mom said to me was give her the antibiotic after lunch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :eek: :eek: the majority of the parents couldn't care less how their kids are doing in Montessori, and if I mention any misbehaviour or concerns they don't pay any attention. One kid was hitting and kicking the other kids in class and when I told his mom she just sighed and said "well boys will be boys" and I found out that on her way home she brought him to the toyshop :mad: WHAT IS GOING ON IN THESE PEOPLES HEADS :confused: All I am to them is somebody miding their kids while they pursue their precious careers (don't get me wrong I know there are many parents who do not have the choice and have to work and I have every respect them for them because you can tell that that child is truly loved and cherished as all children should be, its the parents who don't have to work but want to FULLTIME plus they want "Me" time at the weekends!) It really really bugs me that I know their children better than they do and that I see and spend more time with their kids than they do, it annoys me that when they come to pick the kids up the kids scream "I don't wanna go home with you, I'm staying here"

    Okay time to take a deep breath and get off my soap box :D :D Nice to rant and rave :p
     
  14. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    You are being very honest , Abby. It is true ... what you said is the case many times.
    I would like to tell you about the Preschool where I work. It is a private center. I have the 4-5 year olds.I have 13 children in my care 365 days a year(almost). We are open year round. A few years ago, the public school decided to put Preschool into their system. To make a long story short, many of my co-workers and I can run circles around their Preschool Program. Why? Well, who do you think gets to know the children and their families as their own? Would it be the Public School System's teachers who have them for less than 3 hours a day...and are closed in the summer months....or do you think it is the "Daycare Preschool Program" where we have watched the children daily since birth? Now let me tell you what we do when there is a "problem" with a child. We work hand in hand with the parents to find an answer. Now I would like to comment on Mr. G's story of the child who is unruly in his class and the parents say he is not like that at daycare. This is a possiblilty. Children respond differently to teachers. In my class of 13, 9 of them stay with me all day, everyday. The rest are bused to Headstart and the public Preschool for a few hours. The ones who stay with me all day are very well behaved. The ones who come back from school are VERY wild and unruly, with the exception of one who goes to Headstart. He is well behaved.
     
  15. ChristyF

    ChristyF Moderator

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    Dec 15, 2004

    I skimmed over some of the replies in this thread when there was a new posting. At some point I missed several of the more recent replies.
    I live in a rural community. There are no daycare centers here. (I think the nearest one is about an hour away.) Our school has had pre-k for quite a while. The kids are at school all day, just like the other grades. These kids love school and their teachers. One of the teachers had them all at her house for a hayride and games at Halloween, they are going to one of the other's house for Christmas, and the third teacher will be sponsoring the egg hunt. The kids are learning and having fun at the same time.
    As for saying anyone can get a degree...yes, they can, but I worked my butt off for my degree. I'm proud of the fact that I have it. Yes, I know that there are teachers out there who shouldn't be in the classroom. Just as, I'm sure, there are workers in day care centers who shouldn't be there.
    I wish I had an answer to make parents respect all of us involved in their child's life. Some never will.
     
  16. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    christy, Your community must be very different than the one I live in. Our schools only have the Preschool children for two and a half hours each day and most of their time is spent busing, transitioning(bathroom) and eating. I'm not sure who said "anyone can get a degree." Of course you should be proud of having a degree. It takes an enourmous amount of work, time, and money to get one. There are unsuitable teachers in a both daycare classrooms and in the public schools. I am finding a great deal of respect from the parents...which is quite obvious due to the fact that they are leaving their children in my program instead of the schools program. That makes me feel good.
     
  17. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    Dec 16, 2004

    Our district voted on pre-K but still has not implemented it. They are haggling over how much quality to require!! It will only be 3 hours anyway. This will only be for 4 yr olds.
     
  18. Prissypants

    Prissypants Companion

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    As a parent, I wish my daycare/preschool (it's both) would do more to educate other parents on what they offer, and why their staff is superior to other places. Because I come from an education background, I knew to look for certifications and ask questions about how they will help children learn and prepare for school. But a lot of parents don't know to ask these things. Their number one concern, as it should be, is whether or not the center is safe and convenient. I think that it's the center's responsiblity to educate parents and the public about their qualifications and how they offer what the children need. If the center doesn't do it, then the teachers should. It would go a long way in making parents feel more comfortable with their choices and respect the teachers. :p

    Also, to whomever said they write a weekly newsletter (I've forgotten who you are now that I've started writing) I love that! I wish my son's teacher would do the same thing. All parents get a monthly newsletter, but it tells what's going on at the center, as a whole, and not specifically my son's class. He's only 16 months, so he can't tell me what he did each day, yet. I would love to see a class newsletter and would read it from cover to cover. Alas, :( I know that Jack's teacher has a lot to do, watching a classroom full of new climbers, jumper, runners, hitters, and biters. A newsletter is probably asking to much. But KUDOS to you for going the extra mile.
     
  19. clarnet73

    clarnet73 Moderator

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    PrissyPants, when I worked in the Toddler room at a daycare center, we were required to fill out daily sheets on each child, including what particular "learning experiences" were being covered (playing in the sprinkler, play-dough, special songs, etc)... they didn't take long to fill out during the kids' rest times, but it let the parents know whatwas going on... we were also required to post a weekly/monthly calender of "lesson plans" on the Parent Info board in each room... most of our parents didn't read it, and it was often not adhered to, but it WAS available... You might see if your center would be willing to do something like that? Just a simple calender with "special" plans on it...
     
  20. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Prissypants, I send weekly letters home to my parents, write daily notes if needed, do a monthly newsletter, and write on a dry erase board for parents to see everyday when they come in to get their children..I have 13 Preschool children daily and I make it a priority to communicate with their parents. I do these things while they are resting in the afternoon.
     
  21. itsjustme

    itsjustme Rookie

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    I seem to have a hard time with parent communication. I love to write my monthly newsletter but its hard for ME to find the time to do it. I forget and then we are half way through the month and HELLOOOOO I FINALLY remember to write it. I don't see alot of my kids parents because of my hours, all of my kids are there already when I come and I leave before most of them get picked up. So, when I finally do see them, I don't know what to say....its hard to talk to the person on a personal level when I don't have a clue....ya know?? I don't know.... Anyway. Grammy, you sound like a 'know it all'. I bet you do know it all too!
     
  22. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    itsjust me, I have always tried to be very organized and have a daily routine to follow as much as possible. Part of that routine involves a note on my desk that reminds me what I want to accomplish each day. I also have a list in the front of my Lesson Plan book. I would be happy to help you remember to do your monthly newsletter and possibly to communicate with the parents better. I am thinking that you are selling yourself short. You probably are friendly and caring toward them and you are just not getting much feedback from them. It is hard to know what parents are thinking, but I have found that they like a smile and a little talk about their child. Sorry if I sound like a "know it all", but I have 14 years of experience under my belt and in fact, I am still learning from many of the new employees. It's all in what you want to do and finding what matters.
     
  23. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    Dec 18, 2004

    I have a desk calendar that I write all important information. When I was a Director I would have a deadline for staff to give me any info that they wanted in the monthly newsletter, I then gave myself a deadline to put the newsletter together, get it copied & then delivered to respective teachers. It's one of those habit things.

    Itsjustme, it sounds like you have a hard time talking to parents b/c of the hours you work. Its harder to get to know parents when you never see them. Just talk about their child. Parents love to hear what their kids are doing--those cute little things.

    Remember too that nobody says that a monthly newsletter has to go out the first of the month. Send it out whenever.
     
  24. Bethany

    Bethany Rookie

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    Dec 20, 2004

    I have to say, this thread was very interesting! I know what you are all dealing with in regards to the lack of respect from parents. I direct a child care center and am also the preschool teacher. I do this because, despite making twice the work for myself, I started working with children because I had a passion for it. When my job became about 90% administrative, I decided it was time for a change. I worked it out with the owner to be able to shift some of my paperwork/BUSY WORK to the assistant director, and take time to do group time everyday and be the primary caregiver/teacher for our preschoolers. Many times, I am at the center from open to close, or if not, I am running errands on my personal time that are work related. It seems as though there are not enough hours in the day, but I love working with the kids!

    One thing that I noticed is the occasional mention of joining an advocacy organization or other early childhood group...I don't have a lot of time to actively participate in the groups that I am a member of, but I am still a member because I get valuable information. I urge you all to become members of just one early childhood group...it is so important. Maybe when parents see us active in the community and see our educational qualifications, then JUST maybe they will see us as more than glorified babysitters...I sure hope so!

    By the way, my employees are great...one of a kind, each one completely unique..I am blessed to be their director! Sometimes, they are more of an inspiration to me than I think that I am to them...life is a two way street, after all!!
     
  25. ms_kim

    ms_kim New Member

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    Jan 8, 2005

    we don't get respect

    I totally agree with that! We don't get the respect like the teachers in the school system do. :mad:
     
  26. msdanielle

    msdanielle Rookie

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    I can't believe she said that to you. I would have been speechless too.
     
  27. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    What are you even talking about, msdanielle?!
     
  28. msdanielle

    msdanielle Rookie

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    about the first message that started this thread. I didn't know that I should have quoted her. My bad
     
  29. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Oh, that's o.k...now what happened???!!!
     
  30. msdanielle

    msdanielle Rookie

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    if u go back to the first message on this topic it tells u.
     
  31. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Jan 10, 2005

    JUST TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT! YES-I am the one who said anyone can get a degree-HOWEVER-I do believe a couple of you only looked at that sentance and did not give attention to why I said that. My point is that anyone can go to school and be handed a piece of paper that says they qualify! I NEVER said that you should not be proud of your degree, because you should. I mearly was making a statement saying that teaching is more than a piece of paper-it takes something that you are either born with or not. I was only venting after working for childcare directors who mearly got the position because they had a HIGHER degree-not because they were "suited" for the job. Would you hire someone after they had been fired from a previous director's job from suspected child abuse just because they have a degree? I don't think so! People are just lazy these days and want to take the easy way out by hiring those who meet more standards instead of waiting to find the perfect person. I am pretty sure all of you have worked with someone that does not belong in the field, but people hire them because they just have the "degree". Nobody looks at potential and their natural abilities anymore and it sickens me. Point blank-after being a director, some of my best employees were ones who came to me with no prior education and worked at it while they worked for me. This is because they had the natural love that should be a requirement for all teachers. I AM NOT saying that all my employees who were highly educated were bad. I just went through a couple who should not be in the field at all and should have had their licensed stripped from them. By no means did I mean to offend anyone-RELAX and loosen up!
     
  32. andrea720

    andrea720 Rookie

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    Feb 2, 2005

    Pre-K student and teacher having problems.

    Hi,

    I am a mother of a 4 yr old who is having problems in school with her teacher. I do not know how the problem started nor how to fix it - HELP!

    Since Sept. everyday I go to pick her up from school and I ask the teacher how the day was and occasionally I would her pretty good and then it would be followed by all she did bad. Then I would have other days filled with bad. All of this has been said in the presence of my daughter, so she only hears about the "bad" and never what she did good. I also hear about the fact that she does not listen. So I asked my daughter one day what listening meant, and she told me she did not know - so I explained it to her. This seemed to help at home, so why not at school?

    In January, she all of a sudden started this thing of crying at lunch time when the teacher would leave the room then at nap time the same. After about 2 weeks she stopped the crying at lunch time but has still continued to cry at nap. I have offered to come over at lunch/nap time and see if I can help, my father (retired) has offered to come over and read before nap time to the class. All offers were responded to with a "Well you are certainly welcome to come, however it will not solve the problem." I have a hard time believing that any teacher would turn down this offer.

    Plus the teacher has reward system where they have to 1) not tattle, 2) listen and do as they are told, 3) be good. If they do this they are able to get a STAR, she has never received on. Everyday she hangs her head and will say that she just can't get a star. She tells me not to take her to school because she can't get a star, she can't stop crying and she can't make the teacher happy. So much for the self esteem!

    So, now my daughter's classmates are getting frustrated with her and the teacher is allowing them to tell her at nap time when she cries that they are tired of this happening. Which hurts her feelings and she believes that everyone hates her including the teacher.

    I was even told that the teacher felt as thought my daughter was like "big brother" watching her all the time and she felt like she was chained to her class room. I feel like it is a waste of my time and effort to punish her after school for not napping and to scold her for doing wrong in school when she is obviously going through a rough time and having problems. I talk with her but in a not scolding way.

    HELP, I am clue less.
     
  33. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Feb 3, 2005

    I have two responses:
    #1: as a past childcare director I have come to the conclusion that finding the right people for these jobs can be grueling and difficult. I had some of the best people, but at the same time, had to go through some of the really crappy ones to get the good ones.
    #2: I can understand her saying that it wont help if you or dad come in to help. A lot of times it makes the situation worse. I can't really explain it, but it does. If those are the teachers rules, she really needs to rephrase them. Some rules should be: respect one another, walk inside, etc. She sounds like she uses negative phrases instead of positive, which is not good. A reward system is good, but she has to be realistic and not expect her to be perfect. If she sees her following just one rule, she should be praised-not waiting til she sees all of them followed.

    What I would do: I would have a talk with the director. After telling her how you feel Ii would ask her these question:
    1. What kind of experience the teacher had previously
    2. If she has gotten other concerns from other parents
    3. When would be a good time to come and observe her class without your child knowing your there, and if possible, the teacher as well.

    I would also ask the director if she could do some observing of the class for you, which is part of her/his job.

    Another thing I have learned is that there are two sides to every story. As a parent you need to talk to the teacher to figure out what you should do at home to help her. There should be consistancy between both. However, it seems like this teacher isn't very positive and willing to help. If she is one of those involed in the revolving door of daycare teachers, she may not be around long. If you poke your nose in enough and are very involved at solving the issues, then she may just get upset and quit, which may be in your best interest.
    Hang in there and just follow through with your role as her parent.
     
  34. andrea720

    andrea720 Rookie

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    Feb 3, 2005

    Thanks for the reply, my post accidently posted to this thread. I have reposted under my own title. "Prek 4 yr old teacher and student having problems."

    Thanks.
     

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