Getting Ready for a Fight!

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by MrsC, Dec 15, 2009.

  1. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    My daughter wanted 2 things and 2 things only for Christmas--a bright blue snowboarding jacket and lime green boarding pants. Being the wonderful mom that I am :)p), I bought her both. It's been a long time since I was sure that she would love what's under the tree for her. The problem? She's going boarding tomorrow and, of course, her boarding pants from last year just "don't fit" and would be terribly uncomfortable. Anything else I have found around the house just gets a shoulder shrug. I know that, when Daddy gets home, she's going to hit him up to take her out to get new pants and, while they're there, pitch for the jacket as well.

    This is a no-win situation. If her gets her the boarding pants, I'll return the ones I bought and she'll get half her present. If he gets her the jacket as well, she'll have next to nothing under the tree--they were expensive! If he gets her nothing, I get to live with an angry almost 16 year-old tonight and tomorrow. :dizzy: Maybe I'll go and crawl into bed now and avoid the whole situation!
     
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  3. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Pray for an early thaw??? Or pick a fight with her and tell her she can't go???

    Sorry, I have absolutely no words of wisdom for you!!
     
  4. amakaye

    amakaye Enthusiast

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    Yuck, what horrible timing!
     
  5. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Wait, I know!!!

    Run out the door Christmas shopping and let your husband deal with it!!
     
  6. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    Can you borrow a pair of pants that fit her? Maybe from a friend or neighbor? That way she can go, but she doesn't get the new ones. Just tell her that with Christmas and everything, you just don't the funds to buy new ones right now, but you'll see what you can do in a month or so :D.
     
  7. amakaye

    amakaye Enthusiast

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    That might work. And if she's smart, maybe she'll start wondering if that's a hint...
     
  8. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Alice...you always have good advice; I was counting on your words of wisdom!

    It's actually strangely calm. I asked her if she could possibly get one day's wear out of the ones she wore last year so as not toleave me with the possibility of putting a gift under the tree. I'm sure she knows she's getting the jacket and pants--they are all she has asked for--but I really want to save them for Christmas. Borrowing could be a possibility, but all of her friends are going tomorrow as well and my son has his with him at unversity. My husband has been home for almost an hour and so far she's said nothing about going out. (Besides, this kind of situation is really not his forte) Perhaps all will be well.
     
  9. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Okay the calm is over. Instead of fighting over boarding pants, however, we're fighting over homework. She needs to draw a political cartoon based on a current news story. The problems: "I can't draw!" "How am I supposed to draw that?" "Why would I draw it that way?"

    I'm definitely going to bed.
     
  10. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    "OK, honey, don't do the cartoon.

    But you know our expectations as to grades.

    Good night!"
     
  11. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    See, I knew you always had great advice!
     
  12. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    We have a rule at our house that no one gets to buy anything in case Santa might be bringing them the same thing. Sometimes the kids figure out what they are getting for Christmas, but that is life.
     
  13. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Alice~I'm sending another child your way...when she's ready for college you can send her back. :D You give the BEST advice!!

    MrsC~I'm glad you dodged that bullet.
     
  14. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    I use that line on my kids all the time when they're whining about homework. They're basically good kids, and they know there are consequences at school. There's no use having a fight if I can get the system to make my point for me!

    But I'm shipping my kids off to a convent school in Portugal the moment they hit puberty. Anyone else want in? Maybe we can get a group rate???
     
  15. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    I'll likely still need that option by the time yours are ready to go...she's a lot more high-maintenance than her brother ever was. She's busy working at the computer and I'm heading upstairs with my book. Guess we'll see how things panned out when she gets up early looking for a ride to school at 6:45.

    (Thanks for letting me gripe a bit tonight everyone. She's a great kid, but we are both tired and over-extended. We need that break that's coming none-to-soon).
     
  16. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    I'm in!!!!
     
  17. Canadian Gal

    Canadian Gal Habitué

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    Alice - if I had kids I would agree and join in, I recently learned there is an epidemic of unwanted sexual touching in my school.
     
  18. newbie87

    newbie87 Comrade

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    Advice for her homework, maybe she can use clip art?
     
  19. Canadian Gal

    Canadian Gal Habitué

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    newbie - Toondo? (sp?) also came to mind!
     
  20. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Clip art and Toondo are great suggestions--unfortunately, it needs to be drawn by hand. After having slept on the whole situation, my frustration with the homework stems from the fact that they haven't been taught about the symbolism, etc. of political cartoons. They've been shown a few and now have the assignment to create one on a current issue. There is peace in the house this morning (actually, it's more of a quiet whirlwind as she overslept and needs to be at school early to leave for snowboarding); we'll see what tonight brings.
     
  21. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

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    LOL!!! MrsC, keep us posted on how this thread should end.

    With the kids, they have to get to the point where you just can't stand them or they'd live at home forever!

    Everyone can just pack 'em all up and send them to my house.
     
  22. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    Where do I address the box?
     
  23. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    I may just need that address tonight as well, Hoot Owl--watch for a large box couriered overnight express. When I dropped Lauren off for snowboarding this morning she told me that she didn't get the cartoon done last night, which means she'll be starting it at 9:00pm tonight when she gets home from soccer!:eek: She may be on her way to you by 9:05!
     
  24. 3Sons

    3Sons Enthusiast

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    Hmmm, I'm a bit cynical about your daughter's original motivations. Not in any vicious way, but I suspect she may have been feeling the situation out.

    Obviously, if it's all she's been asking for, she has at least an idea that the pants/jacket are a possibility, and that she'd be putting you in a bind. There are a few potential ways it might have worked out in her mind:

    1) She'd get the Xmas present early. She might have been hoping for this.

    2) She'd get some confirmation that she would actually be receiving them. She may have gotten this.

    From the way you're talking, I'm going to guess she's in high school. And her pants suddenly just don't fit? I have my doubts.

    I tried a new strategy with my son for his book reports. I told him my due date was several days before the teacher's due date. He could make a schedule and follow it or not, I didn't care. I wouldn't even look at it until my due date. Unfortunately, DW finds herself unableto go along with this, and is working on making him actually follow the schedule he laid out now that he has laid it out. Guzun....
     
  25. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Your cynicism may not be too misplaced, 3Sons. She likely was hoping for her gift a bit early. Knowing her mother as well as she does, she knows that I just wouldn't go for putting nothing under the tree for her, so she may have been hoping for a bit of a "bonus" or hoping that I would at least show my hand (which I may have). As far as the pants not fitting, her shape is a fair bit different this year from last--she suddenly has curves where she didn't before--but the biggest thing is more likely that the black pants simply won't "impress" quite the way she wants. Oh well, she set off with something to keep her warm and dry and she'll have a jacket and pants under the tree on Christmas morning. The homework...that's another story!

    (She really isn't a manipulative kid; just a teenager with too much on her plate most days and no real sense of how much things cost in relation to how much we have).
     
  26. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    For the cartoon, may I suggest a slightly different use of the technology? Could she use Toondo or clipart or whatever to assemble the cartoon - getting the parts where she wants' em and looking something like what she wants - and then either copy or even very roughly trace the result? (Under the name of "reference photos" there's a long and honorable tradition of this sort of thing in art.)
     
  27. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Good idea, TG. I'll suggest that to her (if she's talking to me when she gets home at 9:00pm!).
     
  28. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    Glad to help, MrsC. And may the evening be peaceable.
     
  29. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    Mrs. C - a bit off topic, but related: I recommend the book Capitate Your Kids which explains a great system for turning finances, saving, budgeting, etc. to your kids - and your DD is a perfect age for it. You estimate the amount you spend on her in a month, everything from snowpants to toothpaste, then give her that in cash each month and she has to budget her spending! It is awesome! Teaches kids how far money has to go, how fast it goes, how it gets wasted (yes, they learn by making mistakes and suffering!) and tends to make them penny pinchers!

    We used this with DD from jr. high on, and it worked great. No more handouts at WalMart, etc. She had to pay for everything herself. Now in college she is very frugal and I have to force her to buy clothes (almost).

    The book goes into a lot more detail and is really useful.
     
  30. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    As far as homework, you did great last night! This is another area they have to learn for themselves, so mistakes teach. I agree that the assignment seems odd, but maybe with your suggestions she will be able to figure it out. I myself could not write a political cartoon!

    So go to bed early again, stay calm and let it be her problem! Go Mom!
     
  31. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Thanks for the suggestion, bonneb; I'll have to look for it. It's funny how different kids can be--my son is the most frugal person I know while my daughter is the opposite. She is very aware of value when spending her own money. A couple of years ago I started giving her cash to do her back-to-school shopping and she is able to stretch it pretty far. She really isn't asking for a lot now; I'm just feeling strapped because we've had some big payouts related to her lately--school sports, provincial soccer, club soccer, trip to Quebec, etc. Everyone seems to want their money just before Christmas.
     
  32. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    I don't know what y'all will think of this, but I remember an incident when my DD was about 12 or 13. She needed help with something and I clearly heard (in my mind) the statement "She needs you to serve her now more than ever." It turned out to be true! I kept that in mind as much as I possibly could. I believe the years when they are becoming independent are the years they need so much support, patience, and for us to set ourselves aside and serve them in love.
     
  33. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Thanks so much for that, bonneb...it's perfect!
     
  34. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

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    Bonneb, this is so true. I think about all the kids making life altering mistakes during the early adolescent years and teen age years.

    MrsC, can't help but be tickled reading your posts. Hang in there, it's hard not to fold when you'd really love to give her the ski clothes.

    We live in an instant gratification society, we don't want to wait for anything. Teaching waiting is a valuable lesson.

    Since my son is grown now he tells us he thought we made a lot more money than we did while he was growing up. He always wanted expensive tennis shoes and I'd tell him he'd have to pay for one of them and I'd buy the other one. He mowed yards in the summer and hoard it for as long as he could. He's still frugal which these days you have to be.

    Now, if you ship your kids down here to me, I' keeping forever. :lol: You can have visitation rights, but they'll be mine to keep.
     
  35. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    I LOVE the the idea of paying for only one shoe. I just got into that discussion with my older son a few months ago. We happened to find the shoes he wanted on sale at the outlet mall, so I got them, but made sure he knew it was ONLY because they were less than half of the regular cost. I'm going to steal that line for future use.

    As for shipping you the kids, I'm still ready to take you up on the offer with my youngest. That kid is as trying as the day is long.
     
  36. kimrandy1

    kimrandy1 Enthusiast

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    Me! I want in! My almost-11 year old is already starting puberty and I'm getting a lot of eye-rolling and Mmmooooommmmm's from her. Attitude galore. Convent school, here she comes!
     
  37. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    There is peace in the world once again...the homework got done fairly easily last night and she asked for me to clarify a couple of things for her this morning. Hopefully, there'll be no homework tonight and we can bake Christmas cookies together tonight.
     
  38. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    Yeah! Forwarned is forearmed, yes?

    I love coming here for advice - all these moms and our few dads to back me up! Makes me tough.
     
  39. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    Hoot, I changed my mind...I'm sending you my oldest. He's 10 and got himself suspended from school!!!!!!! He snuck a pair of sissors out of the classroom to the cafeteria, went to the bathroom and repeatedly threw them against the wall. WHAT ON EARTH was he thinking?!?!?!? What courrier service ships same day?
     
  40. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    Make sure to put air holes in it. And search him for weapons! I totally get it. I have a son that would have done that. He climbed under a building to figure out how a trap that was set for a fox when he was in 3rd grade. He then proceeded to drag it out to show to the other boys. He could never understand why he shouldn't do it. He just wanted to see how it worked.:dizzy:
     
  41. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    Yeah, I should probably provide a water bottle and a snack as well.
     

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