Future teacher needs advice about my child.

Discussion in 'Preschool' started by katsnips, Nov 22, 2006.

  1. katsnips

    katsnips Rookie

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    Nov 22, 2006

    I am a career changer who is studying to be a K-6 teacher. I have a 20 month old son who goes to daycare and I am concerned about his aggressive behavior. I know that toddlers take out their frustrations through hitting and throwing fits so part of me tells me that it is no big deal. The other part of me feels like I am doing something wrong as a parent. He is the second oldest child in his class and he bullies the other kids. He is not a big child...he weighs only 24 lbs but he has a temper. When another child takes a toy from him instead of crying or hitting he tackles the child to the floor and then pounds on them. He also throws tantrums at home and hits me and my husband.
    I think he is bored at daycare and needs to be moved up to the two year old room.
    Is his behavior totally normal and how can I as a parent respond to him when he acts this way? Do you think moving him up is a good idea? Thanks!
     
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  3. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Nov 22, 2006

    It is normal, but there are some things you need to consider. Perhaps he isn't ready for a large environment. Is he overhwhelmed by a large center where he feels the need to defend himself? Perhaps looking into a smaller setting would suite him better. If he is displaying these behaviors at home then it is not something that will be fixed just by moving him up to the bigger classroom, IMHO.

    How is his language? Children this age can get physical because they do not know how to problem solve with their words very well. Role playing is important for this. When this happens it is important to show him HOW to react rather than just saying "dont do that", for example.

    Also, is he getting enough one on one at home? Is he acting out because he is seeking attention?

    Make sure discipline is consistant. He can be given a time out for every time he reacts with hitting, pushing, etc. to understand it will not be tolerated. How do they handle him at daycare? How do you handle it at home? It's important to be consistant between both. When he throws a fit, put him in a time out until he stops then go and talk to him. WHen he hits, same thing. I am sure he knows it's wrong, so now it is time to show it will not be tolerated! And no, he is not too young! Be firm.

    In all honesty, I do not think moving him up would be the best solution. Especially when he is displaying these behaviors at home as well, it is not because he is bored, in my opinion. Good luck.
     
  4. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    Nov 22, 2006

    Aggressive behavior in a toddler is difficult to handle. First, keep the discipline consistent--and discipline him each and every time he is aggressive. Like JenPooh, I would attempt to discover the reasons for this behavior. Yes, he may be bored--so try to add some more complex toys to the room. Just adding some new toys might be enough to draw his interest away from the toys someone else has.

    And, yes, lack of language skills present a great frustration to children his age. Model how to ask for a toy each time he struggles to share.

    With a plan in place, everyone will feel better.
     
  5. Tigers

    Tigers Habitué

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    Nov 22, 2006

    tantrums continue because they work. At twenty months, your child should still be throwing tantrums. A tantrum is the loss of control. This comes from feeling of impotence. And as the previous posters pointed out, these feelings often come from an inability to express oneself. Some children are more aggressive than others. Aggression in children this age are often good signs of determination and perserverance. I don't think you need to worry, just continue on consistantly and your boy will move mountains :)
     
  6. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    Nov 22, 2006

    Mine are BOYS and were late bloomers on language. This caused some aggression. No biting or anything like that. It was mostly tempers or moody. Also kids this age have trouble SHARING. Guess what you have to do at a center? Yep! Share!
     
  7. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Nov 22, 2006

    My grandson is two. He had started hitting and pushing in his previous group and it quit when they moved him in with the older kids. However, he still tries to hit at home. It is typical two year old behavior. Put him on a time out every time he does it. Firmly tell him NO hitting. It will pass. Our little guy likes to hit if he has a block in his hand. We take the object away from him and tell him if he hits he cannot play with those toys. It takes time. Another thing is to channel the hitting to a drum. We let him pound on a box when he feels aggressive. He is getting a drum set for Christmas!
     
  8. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Nov 23, 2006

    You know, now that I read Grammy's post I am reminded of a couple experiences I have had in the past. I still don't nec. think in this case it's bordom, however, sometimes when children feel they are "the king/queen of the classroom", they need to be moved up in order to be put back into shape (for lack of a better term). That's the only way I can explain it. If he's around older kids that are bigger than him he may feel too intimidated to display those behaviors. However (again), you said he's one of the smallest in his class now so I'm unsure if that would help, but it is worth a try.
     
  9. teachingmomof4

    teachingmomof4 Groupie

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    Nov 23, 2006

    My daughter is 20 months old as well and at times gets angry when things don't go her way. She does go to a daycare but it is a small in-home one where there are only a few kids. She does not display those angry feelings there and in fact, shares with the other kids. The other kids love her and shout her name when she walks in the door. I think a lot of it does have to do with consistancy, as others have said. They are very consistant with all of the children at her daycare

    At home, she does get angry at times but usually only when we take things from her that she is not supposed to have. (such as my Thanksgiving decorations) She thinks it is funny to play with them because she knows I don't like it. I just remove them from her, put them back, and tell her, "No. Don't touch." We keep doing that until she gets bored and moves on to something else. She does get angry at her brothers too for taking things from her. Instead of hitting, usually she will stand there and let out an ear piercing scream and yell, "Stop! Don't!" We get the point then, at least she thinks.
     

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