Hi everyone! I'm currently in graduate school working towards a Masters in Teaching. I'm getting two certifications: one for P-3 gen ed and the other for p-3 special ed. I've always had my heart set on special education. While obtaining my BA (it's in Psychology) I did an internship at a counseling group for children with mild autism (at the time known as Asperger's) and I loved it. I decided to apply as an assistant at a private specialized school for children with severe autism and/or behavioral disorders and boy, was I in for a rude awakening. I was placed in the kindergarten classroom. I was told I was lucky because this was one of the "better" classrooms. Well if that class was considered "good" then I didn't want to know what "bad" was. There was a total of six kids, a lead teacher and five aides. Two out of the six children were verbal. The behaviors and outbursts were constant. The biting, the kicking, the hitting, the screaming, etc. On top of that, I felt I was poorly trained, and the other professionals in the room were not very helpful. I dreaded going to work every morning. I was physically and emotionally drained. Every time my student acted out or had a behavior I felt it was my fault. I noticed most (not all of course) of the other teachers/aides were so happy to be at work and I just wasn't. Quite frankly, I couldn't stand being there. I immediately became discouraged and depressed. I felt as if I was a bad person for not enjoying being with these children. I quit after about a month and a half. I thought to myself "if this is what being a special education teacher is... I absolutely can't do it." I've been told to relax, that public schools are different and not as intense, and that there are different opportunities with different kinds of children in special education, but I just still feel so discouraged. It's even making me reconsider teaching, even though I'm almost done with my MA program. I'm at a loss. If anyone could offer a tiny bit of advice, I'd appreciate it. Sorry for the ridiculously long post!