Funny Things Your Kids Say

Discussion in 'Secondary Education' started by dgpiaffeteach, Sep 30, 2011.

  1. dgpiaffeteach

    dgpiaffeteach Aficionado

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    Sep 30, 2011

    I cannot get over the funny things kids say! Yesterday I had a girl ask if teachers talk about kids with each other the way kids talk about teachers with each other. I said what do you think, we all have the same kids :lol: We only have two teachers per subject area so of course we talk and plan together!

    Then before drama rehearsal started, I mentioned that I had texted Mr. S when we were both watching Glee and said that the kids should break into random and completely choreographed song and dance and the kids went "Teachers text each other?!?!" They know that we're really good friends so I couldn't believe it!

    I'm not sure our kids are used to teachers being friends outside of school. It doesn't sound like that's happened there before but now there's a group of 3 of us that are super close and we go to the sporting events together and we're constantly hanging out in each others' rooms working before and after school and the kids seem to really enjoy it. They already asked if we're coming back next year because they want to have us again :D

    So what funny things have your kids said this week?
     
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  3. GTB4GT

    GTB4GT Cohort

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    Oct 1, 2011

    I have had two or three boys in my class that complain that the school is too strict and no fun and that the work is too hard. I asked them what they planned to do after they graduated...they all said they wanted to join the Marines. I literally laughed out loud when they said this. They are sophomores in HS and apparently do not know what the word "irony" means.
     
  4. dgpiaffeteach

    dgpiaffeteach Aficionado

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    That is great! I have a girl who wants to go into the military and cannot turn her work in on time. She says she doesn't have enough time so I told her she has to sit down and start prioritizing because she has to graduate HS. Some kids may just need the military...
     
  5. 2ndTimeAround

    2ndTimeAround Phenom

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    Oct 2, 2011

    I can't decide if the following is really funny or really sad.

    I had a student ask if I knew Jesus. I paused, thinking this was a question about my personal salvation. The student added "you know, when he was alive. Did you ever meet him?" I was literally shocked speechless. I knew I had some low-level students but to have a 17-year old ask me that was ridiculous.

    Then it got worse. The student behind him said "Of course not, Dummy. She'd have to be like 150 years old!"

    sigh...
     
  6. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    Oct 5, 2011

    Hysterical, and alarming! Maybe start a timeline project?

    Regarding teacher being friends outside of school - I remember distinctly being weirded out that my single HS teachers were friends and doing things together outside of school. I don't know why it seemed odd. Maybe the same reason our younger kids go mute when they run into us in the grocery store?
     
  7. amakaye

    amakaye Enthusiast

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    Oct 5, 2011

    I once had a 5th grade ask me if I remembered when JFK was assassinated. (I was in my early 20s at the time). Another time, a 3rd grader asked me if I was at the Great Chicago Fire.
     
  8. amakaye

    amakaye Enthusiast

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    Oh, and yesterday I was exlaining that there is no machine that lets me see what their brains are thinking, and until they invent one they need to show their work. On boy said, "Yeah, and I bet you'll be a grandma before they invent that!"
     
  9. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

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    You were in your early 20's when the student asked, not when JFK was assassinated, right?? :lol::lol:
     
  10. amakaye

    amakaye Enthusiast

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    Oct 5, 2011

    Haha, yes! This was about 5 years ago, and the student had just read that it happened in 1963. I actually just gave him a look, and he realized his error and then felt really bad!
     
  11. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Oct 5, 2011

    :lol::eek::lol::eek::lol:

    I'm also torn—funny or sad!
     
  12. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    :spitwater:
     
  13. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Oct 5, 2011

    These are cute!
     
  14. soleil00

    soleil00 Comrade

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    Oct 5, 2011

    Today was picture day, so I dressed up a little more than normal and added eyeliner (I'm a makeup hater, but I love eyeliner).

    I had a little girl tell me "You are very beautiful today Ms. B.... but... you would look a lot better if your makeup wasn't smudged under your eye."


    A friend that I work with had a kid tell her "Mrs. F, if you would just put on a little makeup to cover your wrinkles you wouldn't look so old. That's what my momma does!"


    I love my kids.
     
  15. Mommyserenity

    Mommyserenity Devotee

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    Oct 5, 2011

    My youngest child is in 1st and has a student teacher in her room right now. Her lips have been really chapped so I sent her some chapstick and told her to ask her teacher first before she used it. Her reply was "Okay Mom...I'll ask Mrs M (student teacher) if it is alright...but...I might need to ask Mrs A too since she is still the "grown up teacher" in charge!" Please keep in mind the ST is about 10 yrs OLDER than her regular teacher. :lol:

    Today I asked my class what goes at the end of a sentence where someone is excited about something. One child replied "An expedition point!"
     
  16. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    Oct 6, 2011

    I always have fun times with my classes, but some years stick with me more than others. The year I had all boys, they really were a lot of fun.

    The boys would always comment on my make-up, clothes, hair, and shoes. Who knew 12/13 year old boys were such fashion experts?

    That was also the "Be the Adult" group. It all started because we would often have a hard time not laughing when they said something rather inappropriate. They started telling us to be the adult when they'd catch us smiling. They were also the "Quit it. Stop it. Put it down." group. Those of us with the all-boy groups said those three statements many times every day, so eventually any one of those would send them into a chorus of all three. They were a fun group.
     
  17. ProfessorJ

    ProfessorJ New Member

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    Oct 11, 2011

    Too funny!
     
  18. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

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    Oct 11, 2011

    One of my coworkers had a student comment yesterday that it felt like it was going to rain. When my coworker commented that there were no clouds in the sky the student said, "Well it's not like you need clouds to have rain." This is a sophomore in high school.
     
  19. TeachingHistory

    TeachingHistory Companion

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    Oct 11, 2011

    I'm a sub and I also work at a site where a lot of schools take their field trips. My favorite school was at the site with their 8th graders the other day and I was helping some of the girls with the activity. Out of the blue one girl goes:

    Girl: When are you subbing for us again?
    Me: I don't know, sometimes I don't get called until morning of.
    Girl: Oh. Your my favorite sub
    Me: Oh Really?
    Girl: Yeah, your not old and wrinkly.

    What I want to know... can I use that as one of my strengths in my next interview?
     
  20. Anonymousteach

    Anonymousteach Companion

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    Oct 12, 2011

    I had a student once tell me George Washington wrote the Gettysburg Address. As a History major, I didn't know if I should laugh or cry...but I'm pretty sure I died a little on the inside.
     
  21. Anonymousteach

    Anonymousteach Companion

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    Oct 12, 2011

    Oh by the way, the student was a high schooler.
     
  22. maggiemonroe

    maggiemonroe New Member

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    Oct 13, 2011

    All from substitute teaching:

    "Your face looks nice!" - Kindergarten girl.

    "Did you know that not all rich people are stupid and evil?" - 5th grade boy

    Me: Your teacher said in her lesson plan that you need to work SILENTLY, and she said it in huge italic bold letters!
    10th grade Chemistry student: She was being SARCASTIC!
    Me: Teachers don't use sarcasm.
    Student: Yeah they do, they do it all the time!
    Other student: Guys, I think she's being sarcastic.
    Entire class: Ohhhhhhh...
     
  23. MissApple

    MissApple Companion

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    Oct 17, 2011

    I have a few students I've "adopted" over the years whom I check in on in class occassionally.

    I was checking on a boy the other day and the girl next to him asked "Miss, are you his parole officer?"
     
  24. midwestteacher

    midwestteacher Cohort

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    Oct 17, 2011

    I had a senior that wanted to get out of my class to work on scholarship applications. This kid is towards the bottom of the class and was upset when I wouldn't let him out of class to work on applications. He was later talking to other students in the class about scholarships and said "They had better not give all those scholarships to those stupid girls who get all "A's" in school."

    I just wanted to say "Hello, they are called scholarships for a reason!"
     
  25. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Oct 17, 2011

    OK, not exactly something he said...

    In our school, cell phones are to be OFF an in the Lockers all day long. It's a big deal: if a cell phone goes off in my class, it's a mandatory 5 demerits. (20 get you suspended, 30 get you expelled.)

    The National Honor Society kids are learning that, since I don't have a homeroom, the easiest way to communicate with me is through email. So when Nick asked me a question the other morning, I reminded him to email it to me,and I would get him the answer that night.

    During my 6th period study hall, I checked my email. Lo and behold, there's the question from Nick, along with "Sent from my i-phone, 11:09 am."

    I saw him in the hall a few periods later, and called him over, and said "Nick, TURN OFF YOUR PHONE!!!!!" Like any other Senior, he automatically went into denial mode until, mid sentence, he realized what must have happened.

    I laughed all day long.
     
  26. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    Oct 17, 2011

    The other day I was telling my adorable student that I want a picture of him in his cute sweater (he always wears this super cute sweater when the kids don't have to come in their uniform) and he said, "Why? So you can put it on Facebook?" I just thought that was too funny. I told him I simply wanted a picture of him in the sweater, and that was it. Oh these kids. Too cute.
     
  27. maya5250

    maya5250 Comrade

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    Oct 18, 2011

    ‎"You become a man when you get bitten by a girl"

    One of my CARE students shared this nugget of wisdom when we discussed when do you become a man.
     
  28. Speechy

    Speechy Comrade

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    Oct 24, 2011

    "You see Ms. Speechy, politicians have always been crooked."- one of my male students.

    The delivery was no matter-of-fact and hilarious.
     
  29. Ms.History

    Ms.History Rookie

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    "Miss Lewis, did you go to college?"
     
  30. TeachingHistory

    TeachingHistory Companion

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    Student: You look like a Journalist when you wear your glasses.
    Me: Really? I actually wanted to be a writer before I decided to be a teacher.
    Student: Really? What else did you want to do?
    Me: I always wanted to be a Librarian.
    Student: But Miss TH. You don't look nerdy enough to be a librarian, even with the glasses!
     
  31. kme93

    kme93 Companion

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    Nov 3, 2011

    I teach mostly sophomores. For those not in the high school world, they're turning 16 this year.

    Student: Mrs. E I didn't know you were married.
    Me: Do you know the difference between Miss and Mrs?
    Student: I just thought you liked the sound of Mrs. better than Miss.
     
  32. brians1024

    brians1024 Rookie

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    Nov 3, 2011

    I joined my wife at one of her district's football games and as the 8 grade football players started to leave the bleachers to head out to the field, my wife called to one and said, "J, is that your mom over there?" He came and hugged her neck and said, "Mrs. S, you're my favorite teacher."
     
  33. 3Sons

    3Sons Enthusiast

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    Nov 3, 2011

    My middle son wrote about a trip to the beach. He'd been stung on the leg by a jellyfish, and had heard that pee cures jellyfish stings, so he wrote that though he didn't have to go, his older brother did so they dumped it on his leg and then put sand over it.

    The essay is posted in the school hallway.
     
  34. UCLACareerChngr

    UCLACareerChngr Comrade

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    Nov 3, 2011

    I have one girl who always doodles in class. She draws cupcake people with arms and legs (don't ask).

    One time I went up to her and asked "why do you keep drawing cupcake people all the time?"

    She says "this isn't a cupcake, it's a muffin"

    me: "how can you tell the difference?"

    Her: "He has hairy legs..."

    this was an 11th grader...mmmm, okay!?!
     
  35. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    Nov 3, 2011

    This one is embarrassing. Basically when my middle child was born, I started having severe IBS issues for years up until my youngest was born. My child heard me talk about this so when he drew his family crest there was a picture of a woman with a baby between her legs and dots coming out of her back area. I never saw the art displayed but when he brought it home, he was proud of his creativity. Oh boy.
     
  36. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Nov 3, 2011

    Embarrassing, yes, but hilarious! :lol:
     
  37. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    Mar 7, 2012

    I think it's time to share some more funny stories.

    Today a student said something that was funny and sweet in a weird way. This one guy has been trying to get out of my class for a long time - I have a few, and honestly, they do that because I make them work very hard. One other teacher shows them videos ALL the time, that's how he teaches history, I don't think they've seen a textbook yet. Some other teachers give them very little work to do, and when they're done, it's free time. I make them think, read, write, discuss, etc bell to bell.

    So the school secretary asked him why he wants out so bad, what is his problem with me. He said "everyone in that class is in love with her, it's so annoying. She's too beautiful, so I don't like her".

    What can I say? Really? This is your biggest problem with me? :)
     
  38. comaba

    comaba Cohort

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    Mar 7, 2012

    I have a student who likes to wander, so I 'shadow' him when he's putting his things in his locker. Last week he kept trying to wander over to the other class, and I kept blocking him. Finally, he got mad and yelled at me, "Why are you following me? It's not your job to supervise me!!"

    I guess I need to reread my job description. ;)
     
  39. comaba

    comaba Cohort

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    Mar 7, 2012

    I'm sorry this embarrassed you, but it made me laugh out loud! Good story! If your son was young (5 or 6) I'm sure no one made the connection. Kids that age draw some unusual looking things.

    I had a K student write a story about a monkey with a banana, and he illustrated it. Unfortunately, in every picture, he added something at the top of the banana that made it look just like a penis!
     
  40. orangetea

    orangetea Connoisseur

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    Mar 7, 2012

    I used to have a sticker collection in junior high school, which I surprisingly found in one of my boxes as I was unpacking a few days ago. Many of them were puffy stickers, so I thought that I would use those for A's and B's for the recent exam.
    When I gave the tests back, you should have heard the squeals of delight...they acted like they've never seen a sticker before. Many of them peeled them off so they could put the stickers on their folders and show their friends. And yup, these are 18 year olds.
     
  41. Aussiegirl

    Aussiegirl Habitué

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    Mar 7, 2012

    When my son was in nursery school (4 yrs. old), he drew a picture of me for Mother's Day. It was a very colorful stick figure. The teacher was laughing as she handed it to me. She told me that A was very upset because the eyebrows were not even ... didn't matter that they were green!
     

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