Funny things kids say and do

Discussion in 'General Education' started by ms. yi, Jul 31, 2009.

  1. ms. yi

    ms. yi Comrade

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    Jul 31, 2009

    I have quite a few of these but I'll just start with one.

    Back when first graders were still learning about matter, we were having a discussion reviewing what we knew about liquids. I asked for examples and I got: water, juice, milk, soda, etc. I saw that they were only naming liquids that we could drink. So I asked the students if they could name a liquid that we weren't supposed to drink. And the first student to raise his hand said very matter-of-factly, "Beer!"

    Can you share any stories of your own?
     
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  3. Aussiegirl

    Aussiegirl Habitué

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    Jul 31, 2009

    A student came in with a Christmas present for me. Part was an invitation to an open=house his family holds each year for friends, neighbors, teachers, etc. The other was a bag with some bread/cake looking things. I thought it looked like stolen so I asked if it was stolen. He had a shocked look on his face (deeply Christian kid, absolute sweetheart) and said no, we baked it ourselves! (It was biscotti)
     
  4. gab

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    While writing with my second graders, one little guy had written: I had a bug on my thinger. I asked: What's a thinger? To which he responded: You know, my thinger..." and he held up his pointer finger. A little girl wrote: I used a mgnitflynglas. I couldn't discern the last word so I pointed to it and asked: What is this word? She said: Magnet flying glass. What's that? The thing we used to look at rocks. She meant magnifying glass, not magnet flying glass. Nobody else mayfind those funny but they made me chuckle.
     
  5. GoldenPoppy

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    We were having a really productive writing period. The classroom had that wonderful hum that it gets when everyone is working well. I start to hear a little voice. It's singing. I move closer to who I think it is and the singing gets a bit louder. I listen and hear one of my 4th graders singing to himself, "Viva Viagra."
     
  6. Ms.Jasztal

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    I still remember "Why are you writing like a second-grader?" when I was signing a boy's agenda last year. :lol: Of course he was kidding around with me (he was never inconsiderate or rude to me in any way)- I sometimes wrote fast in those agendas, but I held back so much laughter when I heard him say it.
     
  7. ms. yi

    ms. yi Comrade

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    Aug 1, 2009

    These are too cute!

    I had one little boy who loved to read labels, my name tag and anything written on shirts. I had this other little boy who had lost a tooth so I gave his an I lost a tooth sticker. At teacher p.e., the first little boy went up to him and pointed to each word and read the sticker, " I...lost...a...tooth." And the other boy breaks out into a huge grin and exclaims, "Hey, me too!"
     
  8. blindteacher

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    :toofunny: I always had trouble with spelling "magnifying glass" as a kid myself.
     
  9. blindteacher

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    :toofunny: Viva Viagra! Oh, the influences of television.
     
  10. ms. yi

    ms. yi Comrade

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    Aug 1, 2009

    Ready for another one?

    I had a couple of students in an uproar because one child had said a bad word. They said that he said the "p" word. I kept racking my brain but I had no idea what they were talking about. So I asked the child who had tattled what the word was. He shook his head and said that he wouldn't say it -- it was too bad. That really got me curious. A little girl's hand shot up in the air and she said that she heard it too. I told her to whisper it into my ear.

    She walks up to me and says very seriously, "he said pagina." Wow, I really wasn't expecting that! It turns out he was repeating what his toddler sister had been saying at home.
     
  11. Ms.Jasztal

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    Oh, wow. I'd die on the spot if I heard one of my kids singing that. :lol:

    What was he writing about? Hahaha...
     
  12. little317

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    My kids were writing about pets. One of the litltle boys was telling his group about his dog and what kind it was. Then one of the girls comes up to tell me the boy said a REALLY bad word. She said that she had to whisper it in my ear. It was the word shitzu.
     
  13. MJH

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    Aug 1, 2009

    Brittney Spears

    One year when teaching kindergarten I had a little girl who listened to Brittney Spears. I know this because one day a little boy was writing and made a mistake and said "oopps". The little girl started sing " I did it again. I played with your heart." Since I laughed about it everytime someone made a mistake the whole class would start singing it.

    One day I decided to buy the cd and brought it to school. I didn't tell her so when someone said :eek:opps" I turned the cd on. The little girl got all excited because she thought Brittney Spears was at school. She was very disappointed to find out that she wasn't.
     
  14. reverie

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    Aug 1, 2009

    I have some funny quotes from my middle schoolers...

    On a slavery debate:
    North: Do you feed them? Clothe them?
    South: Yeah, we do.
    North: What kind of clothes?
    South: Agricrombie and Fish!
    -----

    "Ms. ----- can I check out this book?" -Student holding up Menopause for Dummies

    Me: What would life be like if the Revolutionary War never occurred?
    Student: We'd be sipping tea at 3:00.
     
  15. queenie

    queenie Groupie

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    This past year I was helping a struggling student with Writing. He said, "I know you showed me how to do this already, but I just don't get it yet." I said, "Don't worry. Let me show you again. You'll get it." So I explained the concept a few more times. Suddenly his mouth and eyes opened wide and he said, "Aaaah! I get it!" I replied, "I told you the light bulb would come on any minute! I love those light bulb moments where you finally get something- it's like you've been in the dark about something and the light suddenly comes on!" The student said, "That's exactly how it feels," and went happily back to his seat. About 10 minutes later the little guy was back at my desk with a frown. When I asked him what he needed, he replied, "I think my light bulb went out again."
     
  16. Ms.Jasztal

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    I had someone writing in early September 2008 about deplorable food, and he was writing about charcoaled, burnt hamburgers. He read it to the class and blurted out, "Who would want burnt boogers?" The class ERUPTED and still remembered towards the end of the school year.
     
  17. ArizonaTchr72

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    Aug 1, 2009

    My first year as a teacher I had a student who did not want to sit on the floor for a class meeting. I asked him why and he replied loud enough for everyone to hear, "I have a butt problem." Of course, the fifth graders thought this was hilarious. I am thinking to myself do I really want to ask? I pulled him aside and quietly asked what was wrong and did he need to go to the nurse? He replied, "the floor is hard." I could not believe he would rather tell his classmates that he had a butt problem rather than sit on the floor. In discussing this with me, he agreed it was not the wisest thing to say! I still get a chuckle from that one!
     
  18. flyingmickey

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    I had a lovely boy with special needs in my grade 1/2 class this year. He would often write notes to say sorry for something he had done wrong - he was still learning how to behave in the classroom setting.

    One day another boy in the class was acting up. Later I found a note on my desk.

    "Teacher I'm sorry Dave is being a big butt."
     
  19. SpecSub

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    Aug 1, 2009

    I had a kindergartener with autism. I read him a book that showed an illustration of a dog sleeping with zzzzz's over him. I told him that z's above a person or animal means they're sleeping. He said, "Nuh-uh. I don't see that at my house."

    So cute. I love the literal way of thinking some of the kids with autism have.
     
  20. Mrs.Z.

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    Aug 1, 2009

    I had a table of students (kindergarten, 5yr olds) discussing whether aliens existed. Well, over comes my know-it-all student who rolls her eyes at them and smartly says "Duh, even Abraham Lincoln didn't know if there are such things as aliens"

    Funny!
     
  21. SpecSub

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    A kindergartener was talking about things he did with his dad: "We shine flashlights in the deer's eyes at night so we can shoot them." LOL. Completely illegal to spotlight a deer that way to make it freeze so you can kill it.

    I called my dad and was laughing about it, and he said when I was in 2nd grade, I wrote a paper on what we did that summer: "My dad shot a deer." Completely illegal to hunt in summer.
     
  22. MrsCSoup

    MrsCSoup Rookie

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    After discussion of the Revolutionary War, I asked if anyone could tell me what Paul Revere shouted as he rode through town. One of my angels replied, "The Red Sox are coming, The Red Sox are coming!"

    (I have tons more...my husband tells me I should write a book!)

    :)
     
  23. cheer

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    Aug 2, 2009

    We had a thunderstorm one night and the next day the class was all a buzz about the storm and the damage it had caused. One first grader raised his hand and said " My dog was so scared that he jumped in my lap and was shaking soo bad. It felt really good on my lap, like a vibrator! A father, of another student, was there and we just looked at each other, laughed and said " all righty then.." We both walked away.
     
  24. DHE

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    Aug 2, 2009

    these are very funny
     
  25. MissScrimmage

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    I was subbing in a grade 1 music class where the students were supposed to be creating music posters. Before I sent the students off to work, we brainstormed what kinds of images could be on a music poster. One student suggested animals, and we talked about how the students could draw cartoon animals playing instruments or singing. Another child put up his hand and said that he was going to draw lizards. I affirmed his choice and said I had never seen a lizard playing an instrument, but was looking forward to his poster. He said, "I'm going to draw 2 lizards, because when 2 lizards get together they make a lot of noise, like music."
     
  26. amakaye

    amakaye Enthusiast

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    In 5th grade I told the kids we were going to be learning about Marco Polo and asked if anyone knew anything about him. One boy called out, "He's the one that ran around yelling, "The British are coming!"
     
  27. sk8enscars311

    sk8enscars311 Companion

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    I had a set of boy/girl twins in my prek music class... the cutest kids with raspy voices. The little girl had gas apparently and effectively stunk up my entire room in 30 seconds. Another student proclaimed "IT STINKS!!" I couldn't help but chuckle at his expression and said "yeah, it does kind of smell funny.... I think it's something from outside..." He shook his curly head, obviously not convinced. At that point twin girl stands up and says "I did it." "What did you do?" I asked. "I had to pass gas and I'm sorry!" She had this sheepish little grin on her face and the others giggled a little. I told her that was okay. Poor thing about 20 minutes later stops in mid-dance, hands to her stomach... "I don't feel so good..." She sat out until it was time to leave... Upon lining up and leaving her brother walks out and says to me over and over again... "I think Jade pooped her pants... I think Jade pooped her pants. Jade definitely pooped her pants." I could not get this kid to be quiet. I had to wait until I closed the door before I could laugh at the sight of the others walking out with their noses scrunched up. I felt so sorry for her.
     
  28. sk8enscars311

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    I also had a kindergarten class last year with some mischievous little boys in it. Their teacher would punish bad behavior by not letting them come to specials. One day I asked "Where's Aaron? Is he absent or in trouble." The kids all piped up, eager to tell their side of the story...

    "He got in trouble on the playground!" "Yeah! He had his hands in Briana's underwear." "Yeah! He was playing in her underwear." "Yeah! He was playing with her butt."

    oooookayyyy... sorry I asked.
     
  29. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

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    These are so funny!

    A little boy last year told me on a Friday that he'd enjoyed being the "Star of the Week" so much that he didn't think he'd adjust very well to being just an ordinary kid the next week.
     
  30. skittleroo

    skittleroo Connoisseur

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    i had a student who came in and tell me about dumpping bags of trash. "Well we had to do it quick so peoples wouldn't catch us."
     
  31. skittleroo

    skittleroo Connoisseur

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    Ok I couldn't even make it through. I stop 3 times because I was laughing so hard I started crying. I can actually visualize this as though i was there.
     
  32. Securis

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    I have two stories that stand out in my head and a third that is hilarious but also very sad.

    1) The most recent, I was having class as usual and a 4th grader decided to interrupt as was her usual mode of operation. However we were in a time when that particular behavior was alight to have. She stood up and yelled out, "Have you heard about the salamanders in Peanut Butter!?"

    Now, this caused me to stop because salamanders in peanut butter is very serious because it's a staple of my diet. I'm thinking really hard and looking at this child with that look. She gets very uncertain at this point as I start reciting, "Salamanders in the peanut butter?" I had seen it in the news and I patrol headlines on several news sites. I'm sure I would have heard about amphibians in peanut butter if it had happened.

    Finally, it hits me. She was trying to say salmonella. I started laughing so hard I had to sit down. I told her, "Bonus points for being precocious."

    2) I don't actually remember what was said that set off a 5th grade young lady in my class. We we're having class, working on a project, and something was said that she found funny. I said it, I know I did. I also had guests in the room, poor people be subjected to a fit of the giggles.

    So the giggles take hold of this little girl to the point that she is out of control and rolling under the table. I can't get on to her because everything said or done just makes her laugh harder and she's already running out of air.

    It went on so that I just shrugged at my guests with big grin and said, "I think we lost her and there's nothing to do to get her back."

    Wrong thing, that in turn makes my guests laugh which makes the class laugh which causes the giggle fit to go into overdrive. It took twenty minutes for us to get back to class.

    I'm just happy to know that there is that much laughter still in the world and that one tiny girl can act as a container for it all.

    3) I was trying to explain a concept to a student with special needs. This was just after 9/11 and we were making projects in memorial. I was amazed as I was forced to ask him what country he lived in and he couldn't say. This is high school and his mental acuity was high enough that he should have known but amazingly he couldn't say. At least it seemed that way. So I begin explaining about city, county, state, country and leading him along. He's following well but when I get to the question, "So, what country do you live in?" The light goes on and he responds with, "Ohh, I don't live in the country, I live in the city."

    Rather than laugh in his face I said, "Good, we're done for now. Keep working on your project until I say clean up." And I went off to work with another student somewhere else in the room so that I could lick my wounds and regroup.

    Later, before the bell called them to 6th period, he got it. He was merely confused by the different meanings that words can have but still didn't initially understand that he lived in the U.S. of America.
     
  33. Toak

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    Kid: "You are still growing right."
    Me: "No, I'm finished growning."
    Kid: "No you're not. You need to grow up some more to be taller so you can be an adult."

    That made me pay attention to the height of the other teachers in the building and I noticed I was taller than over half of them. Makes me wonder if the child thinks most teachers are children. I'm also taller than the child's main classroom teacher who is in her 60s...
     
  34. Toak

    Toak Cohort

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    A pair of identical twins once told me how I could tell them apart so I wouldn't mix them up any more. The one had a longer molar tooth than the other. So I jokingly asked, "Does that mean I have to look in your mouths to tell you apart?" At which point they pointed out a difference on their faces, that was obvious if you know it was there, hidden if you didn't.
     
  35. Sshintaku

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    Apr 24, 2010

    In a recent assignment, my class had to write a letter to either Romeo or Juliet to give them their advice. One student writes, "Dear Romeo, I think you should break up with Juliet so we can stop reading this play."

    It hit my funny bone
     
  36. DHE

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    When I was taking my boys to the restroom one of my students told me that he did not have to use the restroom. I told him that I wanted him to try, his answer was "but, Mrs. E I don't have to usinate." It was too cute
     
  37. queenie

    queenie Groupie

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    I have a bell (like one of those you see in a small store with a sign- 'ring for service') that I ring to switch reading stations or to get the kids' attention (rarely). I have stressed to the kids that I am the only one allowed to ring the bell. I didn't realize what a big deal it was until one day a kid accidentally hit the bell. It got so quiet in the room you could hear a pin drop, with everyone staring at the culprit. Suddenly another little boy, apparently trying to break the tension, points his finger in the air and yells, "Chicken's done!" :lol: I could NOT stop laughing!!
     
  38. Muttling

    Muttling Devotee

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    1 high school story....two adult ed stories....

    1 -I give a sucker to any kid who catches me in a mistake..."math, spelling, gramar....whatever" I used to say. I had one ask me, "Have you ever been married Mr. B?" (Knowing I am single.) I responded that I had and he said, "Caught you in a mistake."

    I gave him a sucker and laughed about it for a week.




    2 - I used to teach a self defense class in college. One technique for getting away from someone who grabs you from behind is dropping one shoulder and reaching behind you for a grip.

    On of my students said, "Ohhhhh.......Like squishing grapes between my fingers."

    I used that description from then on.


    3 - I used to co-teach 40 Hour HAZWOPER classes with a retired Marine Corp gunny. Mostly we taught people hired by our company, but some military too.

    We were teaching a group of Marines. While I was giving a test, a couple would stop to think and tap their pencil while thinking.

    The gunny comes in while they're testing and hears it. He walked to a table and started tapping on it. They were using Morse Code to cheat and he was sending them a warning (which I'm sure including some interesting language.)
     
  39. ami6880

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    Apr 25, 2010

    This is one of my favorites: When I was student teaching in a Kindergarten classroom we were doing a lesson on friendship and I asked the kids to brainstorm what makes a good friend. I recieved your standard answers such as dont kick, bite, or hit. Then one little boy raised his hand and said "You should NEVER lick your friends". I still laugh to this day when I think about that!

    Just the other day a little boy climbed to the top of a jungle gym and couldnt get back down. He was laughing and looked at me and said: " Well the lesson I learned today is if you can't get down you should never climb up!"
     
  40. Sarge

    Sarge Enthusiast

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    Apr 25, 2010

    At the beginning of the year in first grade, there's a point where the kids have only officially "learned" about five letters - A, M,N, S, and T. So our stories have a lot of words with characters named Ann, Matt, and Sam, sitting on mats.

    One day, I was pointing out to them that whenever they saw the word "Matt" with two T's, it was somebody's name. They all nodded in understanding.

    Later, we had a story with a character in it named Ann, along with the article "an." So I pointed out to them that whenever you saw "Ann" with two N's, it was somebody's name.

    Finally, we had a spelling dictation and one of the words was "as."

    A little girl raised her hand and asked "Is that one S or two S's."

    "Just one," I said.

    "But what if it's two," the girl responded.

    Quickly, from across the room, one of the boys interrupted "Then it would be somebody's name!"
     
  41. Muttling

    Muttling Devotee

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    Apr 25, 2010

    Good one Sarge!!!!!



    When I was in high school, I took Spanish and remember something similar.


    We were learning about noun gender and the teacher explained to us that words ending in o were masculine.


    One of the bright students said, since a perro is a male dog then a perra must be a female dog.


    The teacher turned 3 shades of red and busted out laughing.
     

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