Funny thing kids say..

Discussion in 'General Education' started by mandagap06, Aug 25, 2008.

  1. mandagap06

    mandagap06 Devotee

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    I was just wondering what's the funniest thing a student has told you or asked you? This such be fun to read. Sometimes I think people have too much stress as a teacher or to much "work" to do. Given work needs to get done I think we can still have fun and have a good sense of humor about the job and the kids. The love for kids was/is the reason we do the job we do.
     
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  3. kinderkc

    kinderkc Companion

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    When i was subbing one time (kinder) a little girl that i knew and had been a sub for before was reading her journal to me. The prompt was what you did this weekend...what she wrote:
    me and mi mom went to the grocery store and my mom bought some sigres. (Of course her spelling was different...she meant cigarettes...which is kind of sad but the way she spelled it was just so cute that i had to laugh out loud!)
     
  4. Samothrace

    Samothrace Cohort

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    I did a lesson on mythological animals and my students were to write 3 things special about themselves and then picked three animals that went along with those. at the end after we finished the project I had them name their newly made animal and we made up a story about them. One student, I'll never forget this lil guy from my student teaching! He was special ed, so what he did for this project was great! He liked honey, so of course part of his animal was a bee. But What did he name is animal? His name was T.V. his best friends name was 8 and his favorite thing to eat was cds! :D 2nd graders are hilarious!
     
  5. forkids

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    I was teaching Pre-K and one of my 4/5 year olds said to her friend, very seriously, "Never lick a frog cause you might get sick and die".
     
  6. BethMI

    BethMI Cohort

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    One of my ESL kids told our EIR coach that I am the best teacher in the "uterus." Made it even funnier that I was pregnant at the time (and NO, I never used the word uterus in class.)

    When studying the body, one child asked "Why is poop brown?" They still come back to me 7 years later asking if I remember that!
     
  7. mandagap06

    mandagap06 Devotee

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    I will add my Funniest momment to the list. My Godbrother (who is 6 and in 1st grade now) has a situation when starting Kindergarten last year. He was walking into school with his mom and he said aren't those pretty flowers mom and she said yes. He then said I can't be around flowers and mom said why. He said cuz they make me constipated. He ment congested(basically they bother is allergies).LOL we were rolling on the floor when we heard this.
     
  8. mandagap06

    mandagap06 Devotee

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    What did you say to answer the poop question. LOL! I would have changed the subject haha!
     
  9. shouldbeasleep

    shouldbeasleep Enthusiast

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    One of my girls last year wrote a story about her cat. His name was Mr. Fluffyballs.

    She said her father named him that.
     
  10. Teach'em

    Teach'em Companion

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    A little boy in pre-school was holding himself like he had to go to the bathroom, so I asked "so-and-so, do you need to go to the bathroom?" He replied with a smile: "no...I just had to let out a little poot."
     
  11. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    My youngest son, at age 4, declared that the reason why it rained was cause the clouds got dirty and God had to wash them. When I asked how God washed clouds, he gave me this "Mom, how can you be so clueless" look and told me "He has to use a really big garden hose cause you can't dig sprinklers in clouds". Gee, why didn't I think of that.
     
  12. Jem

    Jem Aficionado

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    We were studying Christmas around the world, and all the kids were intently reading about their countries. One little boy was studying Mexico, and he suddenly shouted out 'Hey, guys! They use donkeys in Mexico instead of reindeer!'. Someone looked at him and asked why that was such a big a deal. The kid gave him a very 'duh' look and said 'Donkeys can't fly!!'

    Here are a few others I dug up from my blog:

    Tommy: alex, would you rather be married to a cat or a dog?
    Alex (without hesitation): dog
    Tommy: would you rather be married to a cow or moose?
    Alex: that's a weird question.

    Then Nick chimed in about how he would rather be married to a cow HAVING a cow, and then it could work at McDonald's, or something like that. It's amazing what conversations can occur while cutting out spelling flashcards....

    -----------------------------

    We're having career morning, and if kids don't know what they want to be, we're helping them brainstorm. Michael got up and didn't know what he wanted to be.

    Zach: you could be an underwear designer!
    Amy: you could be a model!
    Jessica: you could model your designer underwear!

    I'll admit, i laughed really loudly.

    -------------------------------

    We tie-dyed our shirts today and they incredible. Beyond amazing. I'm so impressed that I will do this every year for the rest of my teaching career with kids. It was worth every penny.

    I was wearing a garbage bag skirt to protect my shorts, and offered kids garbage bags as well. My helpers and I were walking in with our buckets quite a bit after the rest of the kids, so it was just us three. Rachel had a huge stack of buckets in her hands as we were walking.

    Rachel: i must look pretty weird.
    Mrs. Uppman: i'm the one wearing the garbage bag skirt.
    Katie: true 'dat.

    Later, in the building....

    Katie (under her breath to me): if anyone asks, we're wearing the garbage bags because we want to.

    -------------------------

    The students were given teacher evaluation forms yesterday to fill out. I thought I would share some of their responses-both humorous and inspiring.



    What are your teacher's strengths?
    Handing out tests.
    She's not afraid to discipline kids. (an off-handed compliment, actually)
    Talking loud.
    She can lift heavy objects.
    A really great math teacher. (Uh…..)

    In what areas would you like to see your teacher improve?
    Remmering. (I think this is suppose to be spelled 'remembering', but I can't remember.)

    How does your teacher relate to students?
    As a second mom.
    PARTY! FUN!
    As if she were one. (Wait-I'm not a student?)

    How does your teacher deal with misbehaving students?
    I wouldn't know. I don't misbehave.

    In your opinion, what does your teacher like best about teaching?
    The whole deal.

    In your opinion, what does your teacher like least about teaching?
    Cleaning up.
    Grading all of our papers. (most true answer of all)
    Taking care of bratty kids.
    Getting up in the morning.

    If your teacher were an animal, which animal would she be?
    A pack rat (not a bad one)-she has too much stuff.
    A bird. Because she eats like a bird. (I'm not even sure I know what this means….)
    She would be an owl because they are wise and so is she.
    A monkey because a lot of times she acts like she's not human.
    She would be a song sparrow because of her grace. (I think she was talking about another teacher here.)
    Mrs. Uppman would be a bird because she likes to sing and she is just amazing like a bird. (I gotta buy me some wings!)
    A rabbit because she is cuddly. (This cracks me up, because I hate touching my students, let along cuddling with them.)
    Horse-so free spirited.
    A monkey because she's skinny and silly-not too silly that she's fired.

    Describe your classroom's environment.
    It is hypothetically messy.
    It is neat and tidy. Mrs. Uppman likes it that way. (I think these two students were in two different rooms this year.)

    What was the most important thing your teacher taught you this year?
    How to throw a party.
    To turn your assignments in on time. (YES!!!)
    Just be yourself. (Again-YES!!!)

    Describe one thing you'll always remember about being in this teacher's class.
    The class pets. (take that, dumb school policy!!!)
    What a good listener she was.
    The teacher I like most out of elementary school.
    The library.
    The awesome parties full of junk food and fun activities.
    I will always remember the gentle, kind and generous nature she brought to my life. (I will always remember that this student is a suck up. But I digress…)
    How pretty she was. (I think I have a secret admirer.)
     
  13. Electron

    Electron Rookie

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    I overheard one of my few 11th graders whispering as I went past today:

    Oh my God, that's Mr. [Electron] ... his classes are so CRAZY! I love him but I think he's on drugs or something!

    :lol: :lol: :lol: What does she expect?! There are only two kinds of high school physics teacher: totally boring, and totally crazy! Pick one! :D
     
  14. MsGidget

    MsGidget Rookie

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    My mom works in the same building I do. One day I had my class in the hallway and she walked by us. One of the little girls turned to me and asked "Miss_______Did your mom dress you today?" I had to keep from laughing as I explained to her that I didn't live with my mom because I was a grown up and I dressed myself.
     
  15. Peachyness

    Peachyness Virtuoso

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    I had some pretty good ones when I taught kinder. Let me think now.....


    First year teaching:
    One of my girls brings in a $50 bill.
    Girl: this is for you
    Me: Why did you bring me $50? Does you mom know?
    Girl: I brought it to you because we were so bad yesterday (I remember that they weren't even that bad! And yes... I returned the money directly to mom)


    I had so many more cute stories. I just can't think of them right now. Too full and tired. I think we should all keep like a little journal and make notes of the cute and funny sayings we hear. :D
     
  16. sundrop

    sundrop Cohort

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    Last year, the third graders were writing friendly letters for practice. It always amazes me the things kids will say at school. One little girl wrote to her friend that "last night at supper my dad wadded up his bread and put it in his shirt so he had boobs." I made a copy for the parents! Bet dad didn't know I was going to hear about that!
     
  17. BethMI

    BethMI Cohort

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    He was totally serious, so I told him I wasn't sure, but my educated guess was that all the food you eat is being digested, mixing with fluids in your body, and just turns to a hodge podged brown color. He accepted that as a pretty good guess! Phew!
     
  18. Zelda~*

    Zelda~* Devotee

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    Yesterday my PC wasn't working, so I turned it off and on again, fiddled with buttons, cords, and finally had my para call IT.

    Near the end of the day I mildly flicked the top of the monitor in frustration. My ED kinder student came over and TAPPED hard on the top and....it started working. :D

    The funniest thing ever said in my classroom was an adorable little boy with speech issues who very earnestly told the nice people from Kiwanis who were visiting our room, "I've seen my mom naked." :whistle:

    Luckily they didn't get it or didn't think it as funny as I did....:haha:
     
  19. mandagap06

    mandagap06 Devotee

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    What does ED mean? I thought it means education, but that would not make since to say my education kindergarten student so idk.
     
  20. Zelda~*

    Zelda~* Devotee

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    ED = Emotionally Disturbed/Disabled :)
     
  21. Alisha

    Alisha Cohort

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    I have a few that I love from student teaching.

    3rd grade

    Student 1: What does UFO mean?
    Student 2: Unidentical Flying Thing (stated obviously)

    I asked students what they'd already learned about Lincoln..
    .."He likes to write with a lot of exclamation proclamations"

    6th grade
    I wear a nose ring and my students asked me if I got "burgers" stuck on it.
    During a unit on birds...
    "Ummm..wait, so what's the difference between a goose and a geese..?
    "The American Robin vibrates the ground when it walks." (answer to a fact about a Robin on a quiz)
    I assigned a project where they created their own bird so they could make adaptations for it. They were allowed to named their bird species here are some of what I got; Mr Not-named bird, BillyBob, and my favorite bird ..."the little pecker" (yes he did this on purpose and spent an entire class period trying to point that out to me, I obviously spent the entire class trying not to laugh)
     
  22. cMcD

    cMcD Groupie

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    The other day one of my students said:

    "Miss cMcD, your hair reminds me of curly fries. Sometimes I want to eat it."
    (I have curly blondish/brown hair.)

    I replied, "Well, Tim, if I catch you gnawing at my hair we're going to have a problem," with a smile. :)

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Another boy who has autism told me he could speak chicken. He LOVES chickens.

    Here is our convo:
    Me "No way, Sam! You can speak chicken?!"
    Sam "Yes!"
    Me "OK, what does chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp mean?"
    Sam "That means I want my mother."
    Me "Wow! What does chirp chirp mean?
    Sam "That means I'm hungry"

    This went on for a couple minutes. Crack me up!
     
  23. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    When asked what William Penn allowed in his colony:

    "Ummm.... pets?"
     
  24. MrsWbee

    MrsWbee Companion

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    I don't have any funny ones of my own yet, but a good friend of mine has a couple that we laugh about as often as possible:

    Student: "Miss A., somebody farted!"
    Teacher: "Hey guys, please be mature"
    Student: "Okay. Miss A., somebody floofed!"

    ---

    She was giving a lesson in the front of the room, with the students seated on the floor in front of her. She asked everyone to go back to their desks, and looked down to see a little girl laying down, curled up by her feet..

    Teacher: "Please go back to your desk, like I asked."
    Student: "I can't"
    Teacher: "Why not?"
    Student: "Because you're standing on my hair!"

    Sure enough, the teacher was standing on her hair. She still never figured out how that could possibly have happened; the hilarious part though was that the little girl never told her! Instead, she was laying there, frantically pulling her hair out of her head to free herself -- when Miss A. moved, the little girl left a huge chunk of hair on the floor. Gross!
     
  25. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    A 5th grader asked if all the countries in Europe were in alphabetical order on the map. Later, we discussed the fall of the Berlin wall. Frustrated, he asked, "Well, now are they in order?"

    Sure would make life easier. When will those mapmakers get it right?
     
  26. Ghost

    Ghost Habitué

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    I have many funnies:

    *A child reached into the sensory bin and her middle finger got stuck inside an octopus toy. "My bird is is gone."
    *A girl climbed up on my lap, pulled at my shirt's neckline and looked in.
    Me: "What do you think you're doing?"
    Her: "Checking to see if you have a bra on."
    *Conversation early in the day during a potty break
    Me: Did you potty?
    Child: Yup
    Me: Did you wipe your bottom?
    Child: Yup
    Me: Did you flush?
    Child: Yup
    Me: Did you wash your hands?
    Child: *looking around* yup
    Me: Let me feel your hands....no, they're still dry. Go back in there and wash them

    Later in the day, I snuck out for a bathroom break and upon returning:
    Child: Did you potty?
    Me: Yes
    Child: Did you wipe your butt?
    Me: Yes I did.
    Child: Did you flush?
    Me: Yes.
    Child: Did you wash hands?
    Me: Yes I did.
    Child: I gotta feel your hands...okay you did a good job.
     
  27. Ghost

    Ghost Habitué

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    OMG! I can't believe I forgot this one...not from a student but my kids when they were 7 and 3.
    Son: What are those? (pointing to a package of maxi pads)
    Me: Um, mommy stuff
    Son: But what do you do with those?
    3 yo daughter: Those are mommy diapers for when she has her pewiod
     
  28. LMath85

    LMath85 Companion

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    Aug 27, 2008


    :lol::lol:
     
  29. Jem

    Jem Aficionado

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    These are too funny!

    I guess the kids at my school have a real penchant for acting like animals. All day. One little boy was famous for choosing a different animal each morning and staying in character all day, no matter what. One day he was a hamster. The teacher asked the class to pick up their pencils and write something. He didn't, and the teacher asked him again. He calmly told her hamsters can't hold pencils. She calmly told him that this hamster could, and to get busy. The entire office was in hysterics as I was told this story. I've never experienced the joys of lower elementary before, and I love it!!
     
  30. Goldie

    Goldie Companion

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    I taught a K-1 Communications Disorders class many years ago.
    One little girl would "read" -- "Once upon a potty time..."

    I have also taught 3rd grade. One year I had a boy who would walk, move, and make noises like pigeons. We had lots of pigeons on the school grounds.
     
  31. Goldie

    Goldie Companion

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    Also...

    I don't know what it is about 1st/2nd/3rd graders but at snack time, treats, and lunch the conversatin usually turns to religion and their beliefs. Makes for interesting listening!!!
     
  32. WannaTeach

    WannaTeach Companion

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    Soap Poi son ing!

    This is about my daughter. She is now 16 and in the 11th grade. Her English class has begun reading the Canterbury Tales. Last night she came upstairs and asked me and her dad, "Have you guys ever read the Miller's Tale? We laughed and said yeeesssss. She shook her head and said "I've got to wash my mouth out with soap!" I laughed until my sides ached. Later I told her to wait 'til she reads The Wife of Bath! ;)
     
  33. clarnet73

    clarnet73 Moderator

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    OK, here's a few of my preschool favorites...

    We were spinning dreidals: "This is fun! I want a dreidal for Christmas!!!"

    Me: J, are you a big brother now?
    J: Yeah, cuz G. isn't in mommy's tummy any more! They pushed so hard, mommy went POP and now G's here!

    D: Know what I have in my basement?
    Me: What?
    D: A rowboat. It's got lights on it.
    Me: Is it a real rowboat?
    D: Yeah!
    Me: So I could put it in the water and ride in it?
    D: No, you can only use it at nighttime. When it's dark.
    (turns out, it was a ROBOT)

    Dictated Valentine's Day card: Give me candy, it's Valentine's Day. I love you.

    Me: Are you bringing me a valentine?
    S: SNOW!!! (huh!?!?!?!)

    We were passing around a mystery bag. Inside was a pom pom. One of my little guys (actually, the rowboat/robot kid from above) feels inside and immediately says, "It's a BOMB!!!

    The March 17th holiday has changed. It's no longer St. Patrick's Day... it's, apparently, Patrick-sars day! And on Patrick-sars Day, we weren't hunting for leprechauns... "We're looking for moustaches on the ground!"

    Wearing cap sleeves: I have long arms in this shirt!

    Kid with holes in the knees of his pants: My pants are broken!
     
  34. stephenpe

    stephenpe Connoisseur

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    Once a first grader came up before school and said,
    Hey Coach, I broke my neck this weekend. He was fine.
    I hear broken legs all the time.
    FUNNIEST ever?
    I play 20 questions during rainy days and it gets interesting.
    One day I had the most stoic but really smart 5th grader up front with me. He had chosen toilet as the thing they were trying to discover.
    One child asked, "Can you make music on it"
    We looked at each other and he exploded in laughter. Before then he had NEVER cracked a smile.............oh yeah, I fell of my chair.
     
  35. teachfrog

    teachfrog Rookie

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    Oh my, some of these are just hilarious! Mine's not nearly as funny, but it makes me chuckle just the same.

    Last Friday at Meet the Teacher Night one of my new kindergartners came in and was playing legos with one of his new classmates. He looked at her and said (think of a really nasally, stuffed up voice)...

    "I hab a code. Wan' me to gib you a code?"

    This kid is a trip :D:D
     
  36. corps2005

    corps2005 Cohort

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    Oooo this one is from a few days ago. I passed out flyers in spanish to the students whose parents spoke spanish. They were for free english classes.

    Well, one little girl wanted one (Her family does not speak Spanish and neither does she) and said

    Student: I need one in Spanish too.

    Me: No, baby, you don't because you speak English.

    Student: My Mom doesn't speak English.

    Me: Yes she does sweetie.

    Student: No she doesn't and I don't either.

    Me: Yes you do. We're speaking in English right now.

    Student: No we're not and I don't understand you.

    ROFL :lol:
     
  37. suziwollman

    suziwollman New Member

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    An email came to my inbox a few days ago, telling the story of a four year old girl who looked in perplexity at her mom and announced: "Mom, do you know, I don't think I've ever seen a ladybug wink!"
     
  38. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    So, my littlest son just came up to me and said "Mommy, next time you go on a trip with me, can you make it more interesting?" So I asked him what trip we took wan't interesting enough. He said "we went to the grocery store, and I don't like the grocery store because it doesn't have a toy section. We should go to wal-mart instead. Wal-mart has a toy section."

    Maybe not as good as the others, but I laughed.
     
  39. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    Oh, another one from my kids. My tampons kept dissapearing. I couldn't figure out how I was going through them so fast. One day, I walked into my oldest son's bedroom and he was playing with his toy soldiers. I looked closer and he also had several tampons strewn about the room. I asked what he was doing and he told me he was playing with the cool missles he found under the bathroom sink. I told him not to do that anymore because they were mine. He said, "but moooommmmmmyyyyyyyyyy, I need the missles for the missle launchers" then paused, somewhat confused and said, "what do YOU use them for?" Try explaining that one to an 8yo boy.
     
  40. Pencil Monkey

    Pencil Monkey Devotee

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    ROFL. Wow....Imagine what you can hold over his head when he brings a date home someday. :lol:
     
  41. DaTeach

    DaTeach Comrade

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    I have a couple....

    I was giving a speech about choosing AR books with proper subject matter. I had some students that found the highinterest, low-level book about adult subject matter. One of my students had a book (4th grade) about a person being hanged in a barn. I told the class that was not acceptable reading for 4th grade....one of my students piped up and said..."I know Mrs. B. That's why I stick with Curious George!"

    In my first year of teaching, I gave a writing assignment...shortly after, one of my little boys came up and asked me how to spell "allofasudden!" He considered it to be only one word! I had to ask him to repeat it a couple of times before I "got" what he was asking!
     

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