funniest thing a kid has said

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by bonneb, Oct 20, 2007.

  1. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    Oct 20, 2007

    What is the funniest thing a kid has said to you? Do you keep a journal of these hilarities??

    2 recent funnies:

    quoting Psalm 23, a student said "The Lord is my shepherd, it is not what I want." Her face was deadpan in concentration!

    One of the boys said to me, his face full of pain and glee, "Bobby just hit me in the left weiner!" I'm thinking, "How many do you have?!"
     
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  3. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    Oct 20, 2007

    When discussing Veteran's Day's upcoming events and how they can have their grandpas or some other veteran family member come in, one child asked if her mom could come in. She works at the vet's office. As in Veternarian (spelling?)

    The teacher across the hall had a hilarious note this week. This was the child's excuse for missing the previous day. The mother was asking if she could donate Charmin to the classroom because her son can not have a bowel movement at school because the paper is too rough for him. The whole staff got a good laugh out of that one!
     
  4. ecsmom

    ecsmom Habitué

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    Oct 20, 2007

    Last week, one of my K kids said "I see your belly growing." His mom is expecting again. I said "It's not a baby, it's cookies"
     
  5. lcluigs03

    lcluigs03 Cohort

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    Oct 20, 2007

    we are reading a chapter book with my high leveled readers called "fergus and the princess." one chapter is called "they crystal." we were doing some predictions on what the crystal would do for the princess or the king and a student replied, "it's going to help the king realize that the princess needs a man." he said it in a little raspy voice too! we all died laughing. the kiddo turned beet red. i told him i had to share it with the other teachers. it was SO funny!

    we also had to write a compare and contrast paper about the everglades in the 1800s and 1950s. one student said the water is "so nasty because the hobos take baths in it." where she came up with that is beyond me! but when i was grading it i couldn't help laughing out loud.
     
  6. SmartCookie

    SmartCookie Comrade

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    Oct 20, 2007

    We were watching Finding Nemo during our Winter party and one of my resident bad boys began to quietly cry. When I spoke to him he said, I can't stop thinking about when my turtle killed my fish." So cute.
     
  7. MissScrimmage

    MissScrimmage Aficionado

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    Oct 20, 2007

    One of my grade 1 students came running down the hall on the first day of school and announced, "I CAN'T PEEEEEE!". I asked why and he said, "Because I am wearing a belt". We quickly fixed that problem!
     
  8. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Connoisseur

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    Oct 20, 2007

    This didn't happen at school, but I thought it was too funny. Today I went to the soccer games to watch some friends kids play soccer. Just so happens, on one of the teams is one of my students from last year. I had told this student that I might come. After the game he comes running up like he hadn't seen me in forever. Then he stopped dead in his tracks and introduces me to his Dad like we had never met. It was sooo cute!! I was so proud of his manners.
     
  9. Ms.Jasztal

    Ms.Jasztal Maven

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    Oct 20, 2007

    A kid's little sister at her annual mandatory parent-teacher conference on Thursday evening blurted out in front of my student, her mother, and I- "You wanna see my boogies??" That wasn't my student, but the little sister was pretty funny and I had to begin chuckling! I think we all were. :lol:
     
  10. teachingmomof4

    teachingmomof4 Groupie

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    Oct 20, 2007

    I had a second grader one year who wrote a story about Abraham Lincoln. In the story, he said that Abe went to a movie. The next sentence was "It was a short movie." Too cute! :p
     
  11. GrandHighWitch

    GrandHighWitch Companion

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    Oct 20, 2007

    Here's a few that come to mind...

    We were reading the story "Amelia's Road" in our basal, which is about a family of migrant workers, and the father is telling the little girl that he knew her birthday must have been in [whatever month] because they were picking peaches at the time. One of my 4th grade boys took that to mean that the parents were LITERALLY picking peaches when the baby was born, and he was appalled by that. He was like, "They should have gone to the hospital when her mom's water burst!"

    On a math extended response, one of my boys wrote this in his explanation for why he subtracted: "Well, it seemed like the right thing to do."

    Last year, when I was student teaching 3rd grade, one of the boys was telling the class about his football tournament on Labor Day, and he said, "We played teams from all over the world! Like... Morton!" (Morton is 20 minutes away. LOL)
     
  12. GoldenPoppy

    GoldenPoppy Habitué

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    Oct 21, 2007

    The funniest thing I have ever had a student write was in a mini report about one of the California missions. They are required to explain the meaning of the mission's name. E. was writing about Mission Soledad, whose full name translates to Mary the Most Pure. We had had some discussions about the Virgin Mary. When E. turned in her paper I about died laughing. She wrote that Mary was Jesus' mother, but Joseph wasn't Jesus' father. God was Jesus' father, but since Mary was still a virgin that meant that if you did it with God it didn't count.
     
  13. GrandHighWitch

    GrandHighWitch Companion

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    Oct 21, 2007

    ^ LOL!!
     
  14. runsw/scissors

    runsw/scissors Phenom

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    Oct 21, 2007

    We were taking a field trip when I was a student teacher and had to cross the Mississippi River. As we crossed I asked on of the first graders if they knew the name of the river since we had talked about it earlier in the week. He couldn't remember, so I told him it was the Mississippi River. He turned to me and asked with total sincerety (sp?) "Where's the Mr. Sippi?"
     
  15. Cthdenver

    Cthdenver Rookie

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    Oct 21, 2007

    As I am in NY the begginig of the year we were talking about 9/11 and I was asking the kids if the had any personal connection with it. One kid says his parents or cousins worked in the building or some worked on the ambulances - then I had on kid - MY MOTHER IS WAS A FIRETRUCK - couldn't help but laugh!!!
     
  16. alschoolteacher

    alschoolteacher Companion

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    Oct 25, 2007

    Two of my students walked up to me on the playground. One was holding his head and the other was "helping" him. The "helper" looked straight at me and said, "D.. is feeling unconscious." It was all I could do not to laugh at the child before sending him to the clinic!
     
  17. 3littlemonkeys

    3littlemonkeys Comrade

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    Oct 26, 2007

    On a recent 3rd grade social studies test--the question was, "How do prairies and forests help people today?" One student's answer: "So we don't have wild animals running through our cities." I couldn't mark that one wrong, lol.

    I had testing today (prospective student) and asked him if he knew how to write in cursive. He looked at me, confused, and said, "I don't think so." I asked him if he knew what cursive writing was, and he said "Yes--some kind of crazy writing that some people say is beautiful." :D
     
  18. Bored of Ed

    Bored of Ed Enthusiast

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    Oct 26, 2007

    I must say, these threads come up pretty often but this one has proven especially fruitful so far! :LOL:
     
  19. Beth561

    Beth561 Comrade

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    Oct 26, 2007

    The first time my 5 year old saw her teacher outside of school,she looked at her in amazement and said " I didn't know they let you out."
     
  20. shantroy

    shantroy Rookie

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    Oct 26, 2007

    I was babysitting my god daughter the other day and we gave her some veggie sticks as a snack. She took a bite and said "My tummy doesn't like that." I asked her what she meant and she said "My tummy doesn't like it coz it tastes funny on my tounge!" I couldn't help but smile...
     
  21. Learner4Life

    Learner4Life Cohort

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    Oct 26, 2007

    I was walking down the hall the other day in the Junior High section and over heard a bunch of boys talking about girls. One of the more innocent ones asked "why would you want to ask a girl out?" ahhhh puberty...
     
  22. kburen

    kburen Cohort

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    Oct 26, 2007

    We're having a Fall Festival (Halloween Party) tonight as a fund raiser for our PTO (games, food, crafts, and a silent auction type of things) and it's from 6 to 8. We were talking about it this morning and one of my kids goes "but we can't be at school at night". I asked him why not and he said "we just can't". I'm not sure where he got this idea....but it's kinda funny to me *shrug*
     
  23. Jungle

    Jungle Companion

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    Oct 26, 2007

    I was at our mighty mite football game the other evening (3rd & 4th grade) with a friend of mine. She had her college mathbook with her and was trying to finish up some homework. One of the little cheerleaders came up and asked her what she was going to college for? My friend, not sure if she would understand what juvenile justice means, replied that she was going to work with naughty children. The little girl thought for a moment and then said, "Oh, so you're going to be a teacher?" I almost died laughing!!
     
  24. Bored of Ed

    Bored of Ed Enthusiast

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    Oct 26, 2007

    ^LOL!

    kburen: maybe the kid has asked if it's time to go to school yet or something, and the parents answered that you don't go to school at night?
     
  25. GoehringTeaches

    GoehringTeaches Comrade

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    Oct 26, 2007

    I had sent a child to the principal's office the other day, and I had one of my other more troubled students take him to the chairs outside the office because he knew where they were! So he dropped the little boy off there and came back. Later I found out that the assistant principal got real stern with the little boy and asked him "what brought you into this office?" and he said "Brandon" (the little boy that took him up there!) The principal turned around to laugh and the assistant principal had a hard time keeping a straight face as they were trying to discipline him.
     
  26. WaterfallLady

    WaterfallLady Enthusiast

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    Oct 26, 2007

    My sixth graders this year are REALLY niave.

    I had them outside and we were talking about observation. I showed the student a tree and we observed it with all our senses. A few kids forgot about the sense of touch. I said to the students "How does the tree feel?" and one of the girls answered "well I guess its pretty happy"
     
  27. laf-a-lot

    laf-a-lot Rookie

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    Oct 26, 2007

    My students were asking me if I had kids or if I was married. When i told them no, one boy said to me "Well, you have to get dressed up really pretty and go to dinner. That's how you get yourself a man."

    A few weeks later, I was going to be out of town for my uncle's wedding. The same boy blurts out "You found a man!?!"
     
  28. 1stesl

    1stesl Rookie

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    Oct 26, 2007

    This wasn't at school.....a friend's little girl has a cold, the other night when I was with them I said, "oh April, you're hoarse..." the little girl replied..."I not horse, I'm a puppy dog."
     
  29. Miss Kirby

    Miss Kirby Fanatic

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    Oct 26, 2007

    This isn't something my kids said, but something they did the other day that was pretty cute.

    Sometimes for transitions and to calm them down on the rug I'll start singing a song they know really well. I started singing this Columbus song because they could sing that song all day if I'd let them. Two girls put their arms around each other as they sat on the floor, swaying back and forth, singing. Then, the rest of my class quickly gets on the carpet joining them. So soon I have 22 first graders in a row swaying back and forth with arms around each other singing about Columbus. When they finished I said "awww how cute you are!" and they all went "GAH!" and scammered off in different directions.
     
  30. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Oct 27, 2007

    Yesterday we were driving to a football game with my 3 year old daughter in the back. We were on a road that unfortunately faced the sun. She was in her seat with sunglasses on and arm over her eyes. Her dad asked what she was doing, and she replied "The sun is looking at me!" I thought it was soooo cute!
     
  31. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    Oct 27, 2007

    When my niece was young, I was watching her one day. We were playing with my Siamese cat and I asked my niece if she knew what kind of cat it was. She thought and thought, and then came out with, "German?" I loved it.
     
  32. treann

    treann Rookie

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    Oct 27, 2007

    Here are a couple off the top of my head…wished I would have written all the funny ones down though!
    I was sick one day a few weeks ago. My children asked, “why were you gone?” I said I had a bug so I needed to stay home. One asked very seriously, “why did you eat bugs?”

    Last year one of my girls asked where I got my wedding ring. I told her that I had gotten married so when you get married you wear a ring. She asked me if I was going to ever marry someone else. I told her that you only marry one person. She said well why don’t you marry another one because then you could get a couple rings. Then she thought for a minute and said or would the one that gave you that ring be mad?

    A couple of years ago I was gone for a week on my honeymoon. When I got back the children had all made me a book. One of the girls (about 7) wrote “have a nice time together. Remember us. My mom and dad have certain talks and they’re happy after…so do that.”
     
  33. OceanFlower

    OceanFlower New Member

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    Oct 27, 2007

    While subbing in First Grade recently. . . .

    Me, as I'm trying to learn names: Do you like people to call you Michael or Mike?
    Michael: I like people to call me Michael.
    Michael's classmate, Noah: I like people to call me Captain Jack Sparrow!

    :lol:
     
  34. MissFroggy

    MissFroggy Aficionado

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    Oct 28, 2007

    Gossipy Girls

    I have a couple of really gossipy girls in my class this year. During recess, I saw and heard them gossiping about a kindergartener. Apparently this child had said some things during the after-school program they all go to. Our class is book buddies with this class. They called over another girl to tell her the gossip- she happened to be the kindergarteners book buddy.

    I called the girls to me, to talk about this, because these two girls have been gossiping in my class non-stop and wanted to point out to them what they were doing.

    The book buddy (3rd girl) said, "I don't need to know that about my book buddy. All I need to do is read to her, I don't need to know about her personal life."

    That cracked me up.
     
  35. knitter63

    knitter63 Groupie

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    Oct 28, 2007

    Two years ago, I saw one of my 5th grade girls stopping in the nearby gas station before school. (I was driving down the street). Intrigued, I watch as she came out with a cappucino. This young lady was quite a talker, and a fast talker at that, so as she came into the classroom, I said to her" now I now why you are so wired each day-you drink coffee!!" To which she replied very seriously-"no, Mrs. H, its not coffee, it is hot chocolate!!"
    I had to sit her down and explain that the great tasting hot drinks that come out of those machines are coffee based!!! Boy, was she glad I told her!! (guess she is not allowed to drink coffee!)
     
  36. runsw/scissors

    runsw/scissors Phenom

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    Oct 28, 2007

    I had a girl in class last year who described everything as "pimpin'". I know it was one of those phrases that becomes instantly popular, but she didn't have a clue what it meant. Finally I sat her down and told her I don't want that phrase used in my range of hearing ever. Her response was "Why? It just means cool." Uh, no, not quite. After I explained what a pimp was and what pimpin' really meant she turned scarlet and never uttered the word again.
     
  37. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    Oct 28, 2007

    When I taught 2nd grade a few years back, I was trying to get them to tell her about nouns. I ask "what is a noun?" One little girl (a teacher's child) said "A male nun." Her mother teachs English. Mom was embarrassed, I was amused.
     
  38. Bored of Ed

    Bored of Ed Enthusiast

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    Oct 28, 2007

    Let this be a reminder to us that very often kids do things out of ignorance, not to make us angry. I, for one, have been a victim of a number of teachers who were too quick to judge.
     
  39. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    Oct 29, 2007

    Yes, it is sure good to ask questions and investigate! One time we were all at a staff meeting. We heard this thundering herd of little boys come down the hall, they passed the room and came back. I was closest to the door so I went to the hall. I had the urge to start scolding but something made me hold off. I asked, "What's going on?" Then they told me someone had fallen and gotten hurt on the playground. When I got to the child, his arm was in the shape of an S! Good thing I had kept my mouth shut and gotten the story first!
     

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