funniest occurences

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by Guest, Jun 27, 2002.

  1. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Jun 27, 2002

    Hi! I'll be teaching second grade again this fall (this is my second year). I was wondering if any of you have funny stories you'd want to share from your teaching. I think it would be fun to share these, especially as we get closer and closer to "Back to School" time!
     
  2.  
  3. Amanda

    Amanda Administrator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2001
    Messages:
    3,245
    Likes Received:
    100

    Jun 28, 2002

    How about an unforgettable excuse note?

    :D
     
  4. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Jun 29, 2002

    I love the note from Johnny's mom!

    At the end of this year in second grade, one of the moms came to do Junior Achievement economics lessons for our children. The lesson of the day was about taxes, public servants and retailers. My partner teacher and I watched as the children were given play money for "payment" for their various assigned "jobs" in the community. It was funny to watch their chagrin when the presenting mom said, "Now you each owe $2 in taxes". The children were mildly upset by having to give up their "hard earned money", but grudgingly handed out the $2 they owed. When my partner teacher (who was assisting) got to little Bobby, he verbally complained at having to pay taxes. My partner said "Bobby, did you know that it is said there are two things guaranteed in life: death and taxes." Bobby grew very quiet and reflective and said very seriously to my partner as he gave her his $2, "I guess I'll just take the taxes, then." : )
     
  5. Margo

    Margo Devotee

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2001
    Messages:
    1,153
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 2, 2002

    One of the funniest things that ever happened to me happened several years ago when I was teaching first grade in a VERY rural town. I was beginning a unit on the Seasons of the Year. I asked the class in general if anyone could name the four seasons. One timid little boy raised his hand. I called on him and he gave it some serious thought before replying: "Duck......Goose......Deer........"

    The lesson I learned? Always take into consideration the culture of the children you are teaching.
     
  6. Amanda

    Amanda Administrator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2001
    Messages:
    3,245
    Likes Received:
    100

    Jul 5, 2002

    These are great... Teachers, please keep posting your funny stories!
     
  7. Teacher Barb

    Teacher Barb Rookie

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2002
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 5, 2002

    Well I thought this was really funny, but maybe you had to be there. I teach third grade and one male student started calling every girl, "Cupcake." "Carry your books Cupcake?" "Sharpen your pencil Cupcake?" Finally I asked him, "You call all the girls Cupcake but me. Why's that?" And he looked me straight in the eye, and goes, "I thought about it miss, and well, you're just too old for me." (I was 26.)
     
  8. Seich30

    Seich30 Comrade

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2002
    Messages:
    458
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 7, 2002

    :cool: I teach special needs children 3,4,&5. One day I got a new little 3 year old in my class. He had never been to school before, and I don't think had ever been asked to follow directions. Well anyways, I spent the morning following him around saying "sit"--unsucessfully for the most part. When we got to the playground he started eating sand, so I had my aide take him in the clean him up. One the other students wanted to know where the "baby" went. I answered that he wasn't a baby and asked what the child's name was. The student thought for a minute and answered, "sit"!!!
     
  9. Margo

    Margo Devotee

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2001
    Messages:
    1,153
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 7, 2002

    As one who rarely takes sick days, I always prepare my kindergartners for a substitute - either just for the morning or all day. After learning about George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, a child asked me if Washington was "still dead". I told him yes and he asked me how he died, "if a bad man killed him like they did to Lincoln". I explained that he just got old and his body stopped working, so he died. The child's response to this was: "So when you get old your body will stop working and you will die and then we will have a substitute for the whole day!"

    Boy, talk about aging me fast! (I am only in my 30's)

    :D
     
  10. mommaruthie

    mommaruthie Aficionado

    Joined:
    May 2, 2002
    Messages:
    3,013
    Likes Received:
    1

    Jul 7, 2002

    vignettes

    On the AMS website, there is a place for vignettes from the fields. The stories posted are hilarious.
     
  11. Seich30

    Seich30 Comrade

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2002
    Messages:
    458
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 7, 2002

    AMS???

    What is AMS??
     
  12. mommaruthie

    mommaruthie Aficionado

    Joined:
    May 2, 2002
    Messages:
    3,013
    Likes Received:
    1

    Jul 8, 2002

    funny kid stories

    I was confused with my favorite forums. AMS is the american montessori society site. They asked for vignettes to be sent to be considered for publication. It has a RARE post on it- it barely gets any action. However, moteaco.com has funny kid stories I enjoy reading.
     
  13. AJK

    AJK Pre-k Montessori Teacher

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2001
    Messages:
    177
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 9, 2002

    one of many....

    During our morning "line time" (Montessori's answer to circle time/whole group) we discuss who is here and who is absent, a common practice with young children. We also discuss why they are absent , if we know (Jessie's still sick, Karl is visiting his dad, etc.) This past year one of my students was a well seasoned world traveller by the ripe old age of four, his parents travelled often because of their jobs and took him along. This caused him to miss several weeks of school at a time. During one of their trips to Amsterdam I asked the children and why isn't Jay in school today? and a child answered "He is with his family in Hamster-dam." :)
     
  14. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Jul 14, 2002

    My first graders were completing a review sheet on animal classification. They had to put each animal at the bottom with their correct group at the top and write a reason why they are classified. The birds were together because "They all have feathers." The mammals were together because "They all have fur." My jaw dropped open when I read the reason for the last one. "They are all in sex." After reading it a couple of more times, I realized she meant all the six-legged creatures were INSECTS!
     
  15. 5leafclover

    5leafclover Companion

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2002
    Messages:
    150
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 16, 2002

    One day I asked my Kindergarteners to lie down for the afternoon nap. Well, they had gotten together at recess and decided that they were going to chant "No Nap! No Nap!" when nap time came along. Well, I quickly quieted my class and explained that on this point my class is a dictatorship and not a democracy, so they had no choice but to lie down. Everybody moaned and groaned except one child who raised her hand and said "What's a tater ship?"
     
  16. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Jul 20, 2002

    These are great!
     
  17. AngelaS

    AngelaS Cohort

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2002
    Messages:
    688
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 23, 2002

    LOL!!!

    When I first started teaching, it was at a daycare center. It was very hot and I had on jean shorts. When I sat, they rose a little on my legs and a tatoo on my thigh was exposed.

    A little girl asked, "What's that?". I told her it was a tatoo. She rubbed her fingers over it and changed the subject, as four-year-olds are apt to do.

    The next day she came over to me on the playground again and said, "Boy, you must really like that 'atoo to keep getting it every day!"
     
  18. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2002
    Messages:
    18,938
    Likes Received:
    682

    Aug 11, 2002

    One of my 'out there' 5th graders last year asked me if the countries on the globe were in alphabetical order. That was funny enough, but later we were adding in countries in former Russia and talking about the map changes after the end of the USSR, the child asked, 'Well, NOW are they in alphabetical order?' Guess that was very important to his sense of stability!!!!!
     
  19. emccoy

    emccoy Companion

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2001
    Messages:
    133
    Likes Received:
    0

    Aug 11, 2002

    When I was teaching in public school, I had a student who was very vocal about his dislike of Algebra. One day when explaining graphing linear systems to the class, he interupted and launched into a tirade about how stupid the topic was, that no one would ever use this in real life. He continued on saying that math was stupid nobody ever used except to count their money. He proceeded to ask other students if they used math for other than classwork or homework.

    He then stunned everyone when he said, "Come on Mr. McCoy, do you use math at your job?"

    For once, I was dumbfounded into silence.
     
  20. pmts02

    pmts02 Guest

    Aug 11, 2002

    I teach at a christian school and each week the children learn a bible verse to go along with the letter of the alpohabet they are learning. During the week the children are to memorize thier bible verse and we were learning that A says a as in apple. Friday the children were tested to see if they learned thier bible verse. When it came time for one of the little boys turns I said Jesus says and his response was "Jesus says a as in apple. My cowokers were laughing so hard tears came to thier eyes when I told them the story. It was just way to cute.
     
  21. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Aug 11, 2002

    I was doing my student teaching last fall in a kindergarten classroom. During the student's choice time, i would always roam around visiting kids at each center. Towards the back of the room is where our housekeeping stuff was.., and was also near the bathroom door. As I approached one of the boys i noticed that he was not really playing w the other kids and that he was "holding himself"since he was near the bathroom, i asked if he needed to use the bathroom...he simply looked up at me and replied "No, I am protecting my penis in case someone kicks it!"
     
  22. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Aug 14, 2002

    funny story

    I am a sixth grade teacher and was very pregnant last school year. Towards the end of my pregnancy, I had a huge stomach. I was teaching a math lesson and asked the class if they had any questions. One little girl had a puzzled look on her face and raised her hand. I called on her and she said, "Mrs. Stomach, I just don't get it." I paused for a minute to make sure I heard her correctly and at the same time she realized what she had said. She was very embarassed and apologetic. It was a very funny moment, especially when I felt so fat and uncomfortable. Maybe she didn't understand what I had taught because she was staring at my huge stomach!
     
  23. AngelaS

    AngelaS Cohort

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2002
    Messages:
    688
    Likes Received:
    0

    Nov 24, 2002

    I had to resurrect this thread because of something I found elsewhere on the web. I don't know if it is true, but it sure is funny...

    School Answering Machine

    This is the answering machine message the Pacific Palisades High School staff voted to record on their school telephone answering system. Too bad they can't actually use it... This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework. The school and teachers are being sued by parentswho want their children's failing grades changed to passing grades even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough school work to pass their classes.

    * This was voted unanimously by the office staff as the actual
    answering machine message for the school PBX.

    "Hello! You have reached the automated answering service
    of your school. In order to assist you in connecting the right
    staff member, please listen to all your options before making
    a selection:

    To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1

    To make excuses for why your child did not do his work - Press 2

    To complain about what we do - Press 3

    To cuss out staff members - Press 4

    To ask why you didn't get information that was already
    enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to
    you - Press 5

    If you want us to raise your child - Press 6

    If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7

    To request another teacher for the third time this year - Press 8

    To complain about bus transportation - Press 9

    To complain about school lunches - Press 0

    If you realize this is the real world and your child must be
    accountable / responsible for his / her own behavior, class
    work, homework, and that it's not the teachers fault for
    your children's lack of effort, hang up and have a nice day!"
     
  24. CeCe

    CeCe Companion

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2002
    Messages:
    209
    Likes Received:
    0

    Nov 24, 2002

    LOL!!! That is priceless! Too bad they can't really use it!;)
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. stargirl,
  2. Colliemom
Total: 242 (members: 3, guests: 200, robots: 39)
test