friendship advice needed...

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out Archives' started by maggiedoodle, Feb 27, 2007.

  1. maggiedoodle

    maggiedoodle Rookie

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    Feb 27, 2007

    Recently I made a mistake and have hit a bit of a "rough patch" as a result. I don't want to go into specifics because it's a bit embarrassing and not really the point.
    Anyways, my "best friend" was there when it happened, and to be honest, is indirectly responsible for it all. She was going to be the only person I told about it all. However, after I told her (and made it very clear I didn't blame her at all) she basically abandoned me. She's always been self-centered, and I've always been the type to sort of let myself be walked on. Since then I've told other friends because I needed some support (which thankfully they all have provided!).
    However, my "best friend" seems to think that now some time has passed and we can just pick up and move on. I tried but I realized I was still mad & told her that I really thought we owed it to our friendship to sit down and talk about it(this was over a month ago). She said she wanted to, but hasn't "had time". I tried again last weekend, and same thing. I told her that it was now up to her, and again she seems to think things are normal, sending me funny text messages, etc. I am not able to just let go of this, and honestly I've been ignorning her(perhaps a bit immmature...).

    I hate to be a whiner, but this has sort of consumed me at times. I just wonder if I was overreacting. I know it's hard without specifics, but I was feeling kind of proud of myself for dealing directly with the situation instead of letting it build up inside of me and it hasn't paid off at all. Any advice, thoughts, or similar stories would be appreciated. Thanks!!
     
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  3. hanvan

    hanvan Connoisseur

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    Feb 27, 2007

    Nope...if someone has hurt your feelings to the point where it will impact your friendship then you should tell them. Send her an email...that way you have gotten it off your chest since she doesn't have time to listen. (doesn't that just sum up your friendship) I dont think I would continue a friendship with someone who can't find an hour out of a month to listen
     
  4. mrs. makedonsky

    mrs. makedonsky Rookie

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    Feb 27, 2007

    I agree

    I agree with hanvan, if someone can't even find the time to talk about it maybe you should just email her and get on with life. However, just to play devil's advocate maybe she just wants to forget the whole thing as an embarrassing situation and she feels bad but doesn't know how to face it. Either way you will know when you email her. Good Luck!
     
  5. KinderKatie

    KinderKatie Companion

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    Feb 27, 2007

    I agree she should sit down and talk to you. If she really wants to be FRIENDS with you, then I do not see what she is so objected to talking about something that bothered you. Maybe since the issue was indirectly her fault, she is embarrased. You could try telling her that you in no way want to make her feel bad or point the finger, you just want to talk about your feelings because it is the only way you feel like you can move on. If that is not acceptable to her, then she isn't a friend to begin with. Stick with the friends who have been supportive.
     
  6. ABall

    ABall Fanatic

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    Feb 28, 2007

    a best friend should love you unconditionally. And should have time to talk to you. I do hope that it gets better so you have time to talk.
     
  7. hatima

    hatima Devotee

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    Mar 29, 2007

    You can explain to her that the friendships don't pick up were they left off like that. I lost touch with a friend a few years ago. I critisized her support of a male friend of hers drugging and taking advantage of his then girlfriend. I explained to her why I was upset, it was personal for me, she had directly assisted him in getting the girl drugged. I didn't even realize until roughly a year ago that that was our last conversation. But now I'm over it and would not accept her back as a friend. I couldn't.
     

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