"friends" or not

Discussion in 'Early Childhood Education Archives' started by 2blueiis, Mar 3, 2006.

  1. 2blueiis

    2blueiis New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2006
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 3, 2006

    If you are talking with children regarding others in the class do you use the word "friend"? We had a parent question us on this word and said her child came home from school and said no one wants to be her friend. Mom said her child must have learned "friend" at school because they don't use that word at home. I was so shocked that I forgot to ask her the word they use and now I don't want to revisit this issue. On her evaluation she wrote that we've been teaching too long. Any ideas on the new school term for "friends"?
     
  2.  
  3. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2004
    Messages:
    5,168
    Likes Received:
    1

    Mar 3, 2006

    I don't teach preschool, but my question is, what other word would you use?? Her parents don't use the word "friend" with her at home? That seems strange to me. It's been about 3 years since I've been in a preschool classroom, though so maybe I'm just out of the loop!
     
  4. SpaceAngel

    SpaceAngel Comrade

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2004
    Messages:
    307
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 3, 2006

    Companiable same age peer?
     
  5. Rosieo

    Rosieo Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2005
    Messages:
    2,172
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 3, 2006

    Friend??? I don't see how that word wouldn't be used in a home. "Friend" is a good term and it is always stressed to be a good friend and friends are good to have. I really don't understand where this parent is coming from.
     
  6. Butterfly4

    Butterfly4 Comrade

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2005
    Messages:
    433
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 3, 2006

    We use the word friend all the time in our preschool classroom. "we don't hurt our friends, we're all frineds at school, etc". This parent seems strange, like she is going out of her way not to use the term?? Very odd to me.
     
  7. Myname

    Myname Comrade

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2006
    Messages:
    321
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 3, 2006

    THis parent is wierd we use the word all the time and you know what we haven't been teaching too long. What a kook. Consider the source on this one. Maybe if there was any truth to what she said her daughter said maybe the kids pick up how wierd her daughter might be if she is like her mother.
    Kids will say this all the time when they get upset over a child not wanting to play with them on a certain day. I had it happen in my class. It was NOT true at all.
     
  8. Miss W

    Miss W Phenom

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2005
    Messages:
    4,881
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 3, 2006

    Even if you as a teacher didn't use the word "friend", surely the students still would. What does she expect you to do? Monitor every single word that comes out of everyone's mouth?

    Space Angel-I couldn't help but laugh. Can you imagine us making students say that? :)
     
  9. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2005
    Messages:
    10,120
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 3, 2006

    I use the term friend and everyone I have ever worked with used it to.
     
  10. kinderkids

    kinderkids Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2005
    Messages:
    7,630
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 3, 2006

    I think that parent is ignorant..........I wouldn't give it a second thought.
     
  11. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2004
    Messages:
    5,168
    Likes Received:
    1

    Mar 3, 2006

    I'm so glad every seems to feel the same way as me about it. The situation just seems so odd!
     
  12. 2blueiis

    2blueiis New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2006
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 3, 2006

    Thanks to all who replied. I was wondering if there might be some new thoughts as to why you shouldn't use "friend.
     
  13. ViolaSwamp

    ViolaSwamp Habitué

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2004
    Messages:
    789
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 3, 2006

    I think it might sound odd to someone outside of teaching. In the upper grades we might use 'friend' but it would be more common for me to say, "We don't treat each other that way" because the word friend is kind of reserved for people we hang out with, choose to play with, or really like. Sometimes kids are mean to people they don't consider friends but of course they need to realize that everyone deserves respect. Otherwise I can't understand why this parent is bothered by it. I'm not telling you to stop, it's perfectly fine. I just think this parent is trying to cause problems.
     
  14. TeachWildThings

    TeachWildThings Comrade

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2005
    Messages:
    320
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 3, 2006

    I think ViolaSwamp may be right about causing problems or perhaps has a negative view of school altogether. You're teaching too long? Kinda of vague really :rolleyes: I think mom may have issues & is projecting them toward school as way to maybe justify not having her child there. Or she might be the type that all problems stem from someone else & she is never wrong. Smile, nod & tread lightly ;)
     
  15. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2001
    Messages:
    24,959
    Likes Received:
    2,116

    Mar 4, 2006

    There's something wrong at home if they have never used the word 'friend'.....Give me a break- this is not about you, it's the parent...How sad for this little child. If the child seems lonely at school, try some cooperative learning....Maybe her parents just don't invite other kids over, have playdates to the little sweetie is interpreting this as having 'no friends'....
     
  16. AMK

    AMK Aficionado

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2003
    Messages:
    3,019
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 4, 2006

    What do they call people who they are friends with? I am confused here. I use friends all the time. I tell the children in my class we are all friends here and we need to learn to get along. I teach at a school that is a neighborhood school. They are no buses which is so nice because the children all know one another in the neighborhood.
     
  17. 4Lisa

    4Lisa Rookie

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2006
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 4, 2006

    I am always using the word friend, but I find that if I am reminding someone to talk nicely to a friend I say "Please talk nicely to MY friend" instead of "Please talk nicely to your friend"...because I actually had a child say "well he is not my friend so I don't have to be nice." It is strange but I find that it is a way to set an example that I am nice to everyone and that all are my friends. :)
     
  18. mommaruthie

    mommaruthie Aficionado

    Joined:
    May 2, 2002
    Messages:
    3,013
    Likes Received:
    1

    Mar 4, 2006

    class mate
    peer
    you must be nice to my other students

    Here is a thought: once on a cracker jack box, when the prizes used to have sayings on them, was a quote:
    A stranger is a friend you've never met.
     
  19. Sabby12s

    Sabby12s Companion

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2005
    Messages:
    104
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 5, 2006

    I highly doubt that this child has only heard the word "friend" in your classroom. Does she watch any TV? One of my parents has commented on how her daughter calls everyone "friend" instead of their first name because of some TV show where they refer to everyone as "friend". How does this parent expect you to teach about positive relationships without using the word "friend"?
     
  20. MorahMe

    MorahMe Habitué

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2006
    Messages:
    831
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 5, 2006

    Friend is a normal everyday word, and if this is the parent's worst problem, she should thank God...and get a life!
     
  21. MissR

    MissR Comrade

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2005
    Messages:
    272
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 5, 2006

    My only thought is that the word 'friend' can become a method of exclusivity. We use the word friend all the time in my classroom... but I have noticed plenty of "you're not my friend" when they get mad or "she said she won't be my friend anymore" or like Lisa4 said, "He's not my friend, so I don't have to..." Maybe if we didn't use the word friend, the children would think less about choosing who to be nice to on the basis of who they choose to play with most of the time. Just a thought... I never considered using the word 'friend' could be negative.
     
  22. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2004
    Messages:
    6,367
    Likes Received:
    1

    Mar 6, 2006

    I think by using the word friend, we are teaching the children that we can be friends with everyone, and what's wrong with that? I agree with kinderkids...ignorant!

    If she didn't know the term friend, then wouldn't that mean she doesn't have any friends outside school either? That's really sad!

    I can understand in middle school/high school. Older kids understand what the word friend really stands for. But this is preschool. This parent must be a nutjob, because I don't see how the term can be negative at all. I ALWAYS say friend when referring to all my preschool kids and the kids in my son's Awana class at church, and the other children in his Sunday school class.

    At this age, they need to be taught that anyone can be their friend. Usually children this age tend to also play with everyone in their class (not always, but usually they are not forming "cliques"), so it's the term I think that fits the best.

    The parent is WAY over-analyzing the word!

    And what the heck does she mean by "you teach too long"?

    I would tell her this is the term we use, live with it!
     
  23. panda

    panda Guest

    Mar 7, 2006

    Man, I agree with everyone. When I worked at a preschool it was, "we don't bite our friends" or "come join your friends." I think it gave a sense of family and unity. I'm sure that you were not the one to tell the daughter that no one wants to be her friend, so obviously that came from a child.
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. pluslit,
  2. vickilyn
Total: 179 (members: 3, guests: 152, robots: 24)
test