First Parent Conflict. Yay.

Discussion in 'General Education' started by JustMe, Sep 14, 2012.

  1. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    First parent conflict of the year. This one is a doozie, too. They have a reputation for such over-reactions and stubborness. :|

    I am apparently just flat-out lying about their son's behavior. They know their son. They believe their son. Not only did he not do what I wrote him up for doing, he was actually working to stop others from doing it.

    Ah, yes...I love taking a good citizen down.

    Just venting.
     
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  3. mollydoll

    mollydoll Connoisseur

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    Well, if you would only stop being so mean!
     
  4. Poodle15

    Poodle15 Companion

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    :lol::lol::lol:
     
  5. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Right. I'll try better next week! :)
     
  6. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    :lol:

    Don't you remember learning in college that the students never do anything wrong. Never!
     
  7. mollydoll

    mollydoll Connoisseur

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    Of course not. Haven't you heard the latest lingo? Students are our "customers."
     
  8. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Oh, gosh...I hate that customer stuff! We had that wave wash over us a while ago and they took it too far!
     
  9. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    I love it when parents tell me that their darling is just the type who acts out when he sees "other" children acting out. Of course when I see their child being the only one acting out, there "must" be something wrong with my eyesight!
     
  10. mollydoll

    mollydoll Connoisseur

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    Our district literature has modified it to "clients" now. As in: students who walk to school are officially termed "unrouted clients."

    You can't make this stuff up. This is why they earn 6 figures over at district.
     
  11. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

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    Ah, the joys of teaching.

    Since I had real issues with this last year, I took a new tact, asking my parents at Open House this year to please trust me when it came to behavior issues. I told the story of the kid years ago who actually hit me during class. The mom called that evening adamant that I was horrible for making such a thing up-her son said he didn't do it and she believed him. When the child came in the next day I asked him why he had lied (he had actually been quite proud of it originally) and he said he hadn't lied-his mom asked him if he hit me in the face and he didn't, he hit me in the head. I was hoping maybe it would make them think twice about the trustworthyness of their little angels.
     
  12. GemStone

    GemStone Habitué

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    Thank goodness for the think tanks!
     
  13. mopar

    mopar Multitudinous

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    Sometimes it's hard for parents to really see their child. Keep documenting everything and maybe you will be able to open some eyes. Just remember, it's a process.
     
  14. iteachbx

    iteachbx Enthusiast

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    My sister had a teacher who told the parents at back to school night, "If you promise not to believe every single thing your child says about me, I can promise not to believe every single thing they say about you." Considering some of the things students have told me, I think parents should take that promise!
     
  15. Missy

    Missy Aficionado

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    Luckily my biggest "challenge" this year has already had the art and PE teachers contact the parents, as well as myself contacting them, so I have a lot of back-up. We shall see.
     
  16. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    :lol::lol::lol:

    There is a difference between the face & the head.

    It reminds me of a child I had a couple years ago: "I didn't mean to." was his response when he hit someone. You didn't mean to pull your arm back and hit him in the stomache? You were suppose to be facing the other way.

    Or "I didn't hit him. I punched him."
     
  17. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    As my hubs would say, "It's all in the specifics!"
     
  18. pwhatley

    pwhatley Maven

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    My kids don't say "I didn't mean to." Instead, they say "I didn't try to!" Okay, so maybe you should try NOT to!
     
  19. applecore

    applecore Devotee

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    Clients. Now there's a new one. Who thought that one up?
     
  20. BioAngel

    BioAngel Science Teacher - Grades 3-6

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    I had a mom like that too- I still teach her 2 daughters, but their older brother was the one that I could NOT stand at all. Mom would just never believe me- or any other teacher- if her son did anything wrong.

    Document and document- that's all you can do. Perhaps you could have your P or supervisor come join in for some activities and get another adult's view on what is going on too. (At least check with any other teacher who works with him and see if they have seen the same stuff)

    I wasn't the only teacher who saw how badly behaved that child was, so the Mom was never able to really pin that nonsense on me.

    Good luck!! :)
     
  21. ecteach

    ecteach Devotee

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    Am I the only person who assumes that their child is worse in school than he actually is? I guess it's the teacher in me. ;) The teachers always assure me that he is fine.
     
  22. christine89

    christine89 Companion

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    The things parents think/say are sometimes so interesting and ridiculous. Last year I had a student who repeatedly did inappropriate things and was frequently disruptive. I got notes from mom claiming that he didn't know what the inappropriate things meant, blaming them on other kids, and saying that I should be watching the other kids and not "picking on" her son.
     
  23. pwhatley

    pwhatley Maven

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    I had one last year that would (excuse the expression) "hump anything that moved, and some things that wouldn't." No kidding. In first grade. He doesn't ride a bus, so he couldn't have learned it there, and he SURE didn't learn it in my class! I had other parents complaining about him because their daughters would complain at home (he would often "strike" during enrichment, when I wasn't there). Mama swore that she had no idea where he had picked it up....
     
  24. mollydoll

    mollydoll Connoisseur

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    My favorite was the parent who believed that her 18 yr old son was diligently doing all of his assignments. I was losing or throwing them all away. I rarely take student work out of my room, and never take anything critical like exams.

    Counseling said for the student to turn in his work to them and they would have me sign for it (nice, huh?). Of course, he never turned stuff in and still failed.

    Somehow, that was my fault too.
     
  25. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    :eek:
     
  26. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Good for counseling for offering you support. It's obvious (well, to any rational person) that you're not losing the assignments if they're not showing up at guidance either.
     
  27. bandnerdtx

    bandnerdtx Aficionado

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    Lol! That was my dad. He thought my sister and I were as mouthy at school as we were at home. It took him a few years to realize we weren't! (Well I wasn't... My sister though... Haha!)
     
  28. HeatherY

    HeatherY Habitué

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    I liked this one:
    Parent: This is how boys are.
    Me: There are 11 boys in this class and only one of them chooses to act like this.
     
  29. amakaye

    amakaye Enthusiast

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    I had a parent conference where I complimented the father on how polite, respectful, and well-behaved his son was. He said, "Are you sure we're talking about the same kid?" :)
     
  30. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    :lol::lol::lol:

    That was my response in regards to my son. :wub: He's a different kid at home with his sister. But, he's always been the quiet, shy, non-talkative, only speaks to when spoken to child outside of the home. He was that way all through elementary. Even as a Junior, he's the quiet, well-mannered, respected young adult. At home, different story.

    I'll take it!
     
  31. mollydoll

    mollydoll Connoisseur

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    Actually, they weren't really offering support. She was syrupy sweet to the mother and son, told them I was a first year teacher, and commiserated to me (in front of them) that it can be hard to get used to handling papers.

    This was a pretty toxic school.

    I love guidance at my current school. :wub: we all really work as a team for the students.
     
  32. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Yeah, having you sign for student work? Not okay!
     
  33. Mellz Bellz

    Mellz Bellz Comrade

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    I love when parents make excuses for their kids behavior. My first year teaching I had a student push me and the mother claimed that it was because I was in his space. Apparently he needs a 100 foot radius around him to feel secure. How I maintain this throughout the school day is beyond me!
     

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