finding a church

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out Archives' started by Starivy, Nov 30, 2006.

  1. Starivy

    Starivy Companion

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    Nov 30, 2006

    I grew up in a Christian home and went to church every Sunday. Even though I went, I felt forced to go by my parents and resented it. As soon as I went off to college, I stopped going. I thought, I can still be a good Christain but just not go to church. But slowly and surely I stoppped praying, started really questioning if their was a God, and tried to fill the void in my life with shopping, food, friends, beauty, career, feeling superior to people etc....I thought I could do it all by myself and was in control of my life. Well I was mistaken and have been humbled. I had so much pride in myself and I think I've realized that the void in myself can only be filled with God's love. It's been 8 years now since going to church but I've reached this point in my life through going thru ups and downs that I really want to know about him. I almost can't believe the change of heart and thought I am having. One thing I have started doing was praying and I think that God is slowly helping me. I want to find a good church but don't really know where to begin. There are so many out there! Also, I am married to a non believer. My husband has supported the notion of attending church with me but says that he does not believe in God. I am scared that if I start becoming "relgious" that it may drive a wedge between us to have such different beliefs. This is just a fear I have but I have to trust God and do what is right in my heart for myself, not make decisions because my husband doesn't agree, right? Any advice on finding a church and words of wisdom would be helpful. I feel that I am on the right path.
     
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  3. totallybusy

    totallybusy Rookie

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    Nov 30, 2006

    I think churches are much like movies, books, and music. It depends on what type will satisfy your personality. I feel all churches teach the same messages just with different approaches. Whatever type of setting you enjoy is where you should attend.
    As for your husband let him make his own decisions on religion. I'm sure he has different hobbies and pastimes from you now. If you go to church for an hour or go to the gym it's your individual pastime.Eventually he may come along or he might not. I feel problems only occur when one person pressures another to do something they are not comfortable with. Ex: If you hated jogging and he loved it and insisted you join him constantly. How would you feel? Good luck in finding a church you enjoy and take your new found desire slowly when around your husband.
     
  4. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Starivy, with the exception of your husband, I could have written that post myself! That is exactly what I had felt for a long time awhile back until I realized that church keeps a person grounded (IMHO), plain and simple. My husband is a believer, but he was raised Lutheran. I was raised in a non-denominational community church. When we set out to find churches we narrowed it down to what types of churches we would and would not consider. Not having a Catholic background we didn't want to go that route. We settled on thouroughly checking out smaller community and Bible based churches. If your husband is new to faith, or not quite there (at least he is open to it, which is a wonderful start), a small Bible or community church may be for you. In my honest opinion, if he is open to at least going, take him up on the opportunity! It may open his eyes. I would consider it a sign for you to guide him there. If you like larger settings, a larger church may be for you. Personally, for me, I feel I learn more with a smaller setting. But that's just me.

    I would also make a list of things that you would like in a church. A strong children's ministry may be something you would need. If you don't have any children of your own this may not be high on your priority list. After you have made your lists then start by checking them out. Call and ask about them if you want first. When you attend a service, I suggest you go at least twice before you decide if it's a yes or no. The first visit there may be differences in the service that are usually not the norm. Although, when we found our church, I just knew it was for us. You may get that feeling too.

    Also, talk to each pastor. Look at their doctrines and beliefs. Have a list of questions to be answered.

    Good luck in your quest and I wish you well. Pray about it and let God guide you. He'll lead you to where you should be.
     
  5. TeacherShelly

    TeacherShelly Aficionado

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    Nov 30, 2006

    Funny Name: Good Information!

    Hi Starivy,

    Try Belief-O-Matic. The name is silly, but the info is really valuable. I found a church that fits me with this quiz. No matter what you think of the name, you'll find the results interesting to say the least!

    Good luck :)
     
  6. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Interesting site. They got me all wrong though.:(
     
  7. TeacherShelly

    TeacherShelly Aficionado

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    Really? Would you share more? I'm curious :thanks:
     
  8. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Well, I am a member of a Bible Church. The most they paired me with was the Mormon church. Now, I'm not sure if they get into all the denominations and all that, so perhaps I am reading too much into it or using the site wrong, I don't know. However, you'll never catch me at a Mormon church, even though their belief system is somewhat close to what I am, they are both Chrisitan. The third one I believe was Islam!:eek: Ummm...nope. I didn't take it too seriously, but thought the outcome was interesting. I kind of wish they would have gone deeper because I didn't see anything between Catholic, Protestant, and a few others. But like I said, I could be reading it wrong. I just didn't see anything that classifies as non-denominational Christian.
     
  9. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Ok, I just did it again just out of curiosity and I wanted to click on the links to get descriptions of the answers. I'm still wierded out by the Islam one, which was 5th (not 3rd as I stated previously, so sorry I was wrong) so I was a bit off, but they did pair me with a good one for #3 which came in at 90%, which was conservative protestant which also falls under many Bible based non-denominational doctrines. So, they aren't totally off I guess, but I would have gone with my #3 as my #1. :) 2nd was Jahovah's Witness...not my thing again. At least they gave me an accurate match for #3. :D
     
  10. TeacherShelly

    TeacherShelly Aficionado

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    Hey thanks for the details. It's so interesting to me!
     
  11. Proud2BATeacher

    Proud2BATeacher Phenom

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    Nov 30, 2006

    I came out Mormon too, but I am Roman Catholic which was number 11. I am more liberal than your typical Roman Catholic, so I can kind of figure out why that was number 11, but a Morman I am not!!!
     
  12. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

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    Roman Catholic came out as my #1 and that is the religion in which I was raised. I also consider myself to be MUCH more liberal than what that Catholic church would typically approve of so I was surprised that it came out as number 1 for me.
     
  13. Major

    Major Connoisseur

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    Jesus Christ first.........

    There are so many churches today......... Please pick one that puts Jesus first.

    Major Hunt
     
  14. runsw/scissors

    runsw/scissors Phenom

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    I came out Mormon as well. I am Roman Catholic, but that was number 5 or 6. Apparently they say only 86% of my answers line up with what they have for RC. I don't understand it either.
     
  15. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Great point, and so very important if I do say so myself!
     
  16. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    I am Roman Catholic, however, I am much more liberal when it comes to the Catholic churches view of most things. Anyway, I came out as Orthodox Quaker.
     
  17. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    Try visiting a few churces and seeing what you like. There are so many choices out there that I'm sure you'll find a right fit. I didn't grow up going to church, but I wasn't exactly a "non-believer". My parents had both grown up in churches . . . although different denominations (Baptist and Presbyterian), but they just didn't go when I was younger. I went sometimes with my friends, but not regularly. When I was 26, my parents decided that they wanted to start going to church. I asked them if they'd like to go to the one that I'd been visiting for so many years with my friends. They really liked it, and within a year all three of us had been baptized and joined the church.

    Fast forward a few years until I met my DH. He grew up in churches, both Pentecostal and Baptist, and he went to a Christian school. We do tend to have some very different views on some specific issues, but in general the beliefs aren't that much different.

    He goes to church with me at my Christian (non-denominational) church, and he says he really enjoys it. He even gives the minister guitar lessons every week. He hasn't, however, moved his membership from his Baptist church. When we're visiting his parents, once or twice a month, we always to go his home church. I've also gone to a couple of the Pentecostal churches his family attends, although I'm a bit uncomfortable there because I stand out a lot with my make-up, jewelry, very short hair, and shorter than ankle-length skirts.

    And a few times a year we're unable to get to services due to illness or bad weather, and there's a local church that broadcasts on our local channel . . . and we always watch that, even though it's different than our regular church.

    So I say look around and don't give up until you find one you like.

    That site was interesting. It put me in "100% Mainline to Liberal Christian/Protestants", which pretty much sums it up!
     
  18. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    I agree, it's not so much a matter of what you call yourself as it is about finding a place that you feel comfortable in and people with whom you feel connected. When you find your niche you will know.
     
  19. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    I, too was raised going to church every Sunday since I was a baby & going every Sunday my whole life. I stopped going a couple of years ago during an extremely busy time in my life. At the time, I was substituting long-term, working a part time job on nights & weekends, & going to grad school, plus I still lived at home where my mom would have me do chores during the few free moments I had on the weekends. One day, I just couldn't take it & figured of all the things I was doing, attending church was optional, so I stopped going. I still prayed though & I still do now.

    And I hate to say this, but honestly, I never once regretted that I stopped going nor do I have a desire to go back. My mom has been mentioning latey that I should find a church to attend. I know that I should, but you know how if you're heart isn't in it, someone can make you do something, but deep inside, you don't really want to.
     
  20. nasimi77

    nasimi77 Groupie

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    After "church_hopping" for the past 3 years, I finally found a church I truly love. It's actually a church I would visit off & on for the past FIVE years! My parents also attend, and for the longest time it was a "nice place to visit", but somehow it never dawned on me to call it home. Well, it just recently did. So many of the folks there remember me from when I was knee high to a grasshopper, I feel really accepted and loved there. I even signed up to sing in the choir for Christmas! (like I'm not busy enough ok?) ;) However, I am getting such joy out of singing w/others! Anyhow, I prayed a lot about finding a church, and God patiently pointed me to the right place. Just keep looking and praying, and eventually you will find the right place too.:love::angel:
     
  21. Danny'sNanny

    Danny'sNanny Connoisseur

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    I haven't found a church here yet. I loved my church back home so much; it's hard to picture myself anywhere else. Bf says he'll go with me once I find one, but I really want to look together, so we find a place where we're both happy...It's kind of overwhelming. My old church (a very small non denominational church) was just so perfect for me...
     
  22. MissWilliams

    MissWilliams Rookie

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    changeofcareer--thanks for sharing that site with us.

    It was 100% for me & gave some interesting religion information, which I like reading. :love: ;)
     
  23. Texas Gal

    Texas Gal Companion

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    It got mine 100% right as well. I also enjoyed reding about the religions. I am Roman Catholic but also could be Eastern Orthodox. They were both a complete match. I never knew the similarities... Very interesting site! ~Texas Gal
     
  24. teresaglass

    teresaglass Groupie

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    A Sikh or AJew

    I took the Belief O matic and ceame out a a Sikh first and an Orthodox Jew second. I do attend an Orthodox Synagogogue. It wasn't too far off the mark. Terry G.;) ;) :rolleyes: :)
     

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