This is my 6th year teaching, and I am so done. I teach 3rd grade in a great district, but I just don't love it anymore. In fact, I dread it every single day. I'm not sure what happened to the passionate teacher I used to be. I would spend my breaks organizing school stuff, grading, and preparing for the week we get back. Somewhere along the line, I lost it all. I started to feel it after my 4th year, and towards the end of my 5th year, I was very wary about signing my contract. I didn't want to do it all over again- the RTI point plans, the lengthy lesson plans (only because administrators demand details), the parents, the meetings, and most of all- the stress of evaluations. I shouldn't have signed my contract. It is very clear I have checked out. I am doing the bare minimum, and I am struggling to connect with my class this year. It doesn't help that this is the worst class I have ever had. I mean, they are sweet kids, but they are very immature compared to previous students I have taught...and they do not stop talking. I have always been the favorite teacher of my students in the past, and parents have consistently told me that their child hated school until they had me. Not this year- I have turned into the teacher I swore I would never be. I just don't care anymore. I don't want to plan lessons, I don't want to grade papers, I don't want to communicate with parents. I am teaching the content, but I literally have to force myself everyday. I am easily irritated, and much lazier than I have ever been. I am miserable and have decided that I am going to leave teaching after this year. If anything, I need to step away for a little while. The kids deserve better, and I deserve to be happy. I also have an 11 year old son, who has his own set of school problems- struggles with work completion- and it is so hard for me to put forth the energy he needs from me right now. I have become depressed, and I thought the depression could be the reason for my negative attitude towards teaching. However, this current break has been eye opening. I wasn't even thinking about it, but realized today that I haven't felt the deep sadness since this break started. In fact, I have been calling my friends more often, laughing more, focusing more on my side job (Etsy), and taking the time to enjoy the little moments with my husband and son. The minute I thought of school starting in 4 days, I felt the dread wash over me again. This just verifies that I am making the right choice by leaving after this year, but I cannot even imagine another 5 months. I don't want to leave in the middle of the school year, and refuse to do so. How can I make the best of my situation when I have no motivation to put in effort anymore? I never thought I would become this teacher, and I hate that I have. I have the worst mindset, where I am thinking things like, "Why does it matter if I have detailed lesson plans- I'm leaving anyway!" I know that there is a chance I may come back to teaching one day and this way of thinking will make it impossible. I just need some guidance on some ideas to get me through the next 5 months. Please be kind, as I already beat myself up enough over all of this.