Fellow Male Teachers: Does anyone else hate this?

Discussion in 'Secondary Education' started by TrademarkTer, Jul 19, 2019.

  1. TrademarkTer

    TrademarkTer Groupie

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    Jul 19, 2019

    We just got our rosters for September. I tend to get the lion's share of the behavior issues (not to mention, also the lion's share of the crazy parents because of the fact that I usually win them over). Anyway, when one of my female colleagues saw I had Mark [changed the name for anonymity] this year, her response was "Oh, he'll be fine since you're a man." Mark was a student that this colleague spent all of last year complaining about how hard he made her life, and how poorly behaved he was. This kind of comment gets under my skin. Yes, I will concede there may be a couple of students who, for whatever reason, respond better to men, but the vast majority of my students don't automatically respect me just because I have a penis...... It''s because I create engaging lessons, give them immediate feedback, know my content inside and out, and try to form meanginful connections. This is not easy work. This is not to mention the fact that I'm not some loud, bellowing man. I'm relatively soft-spoken. I hate to throw this word around, but these types of comments that I routinely hear come off as sexist.
     
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  3. Aces

    Aces Habitué

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    Jul 19, 2019

    Honestly I think it goes back to when we were kids our moms would tell us "You wait until your father gets here!" And it is true, some students do respond better to a male authority figure, as do some respond to a female authority figure. But to say "oh sure it'll be better because you're a man" is honestly a terrible statement. It discredits everything you do accomplish because oh you're a man that's what's supposed to happen.

    I'm loud in general. Not loud because I'm yelling, or angry, but because I project my voice. Doing theater and other things I learned to make sure I was heard in the very back in the auditorium because when I was in high school we had limited microphones. Couldn't afford to provide me one everytime. Alot of people tend to think I'm angry or upset. No, that's just how I am.
     
  4. ready2learn

    ready2learn Comrade

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    Jul 19, 2019

    Agree completely with this. I hear this a lot from my female coworkers as it relates to parents. The idea that I don't have angry parents coming after me because I am a male. Not true, and I believe their parent complaints aren't about gender at all but attitude.
     
  5. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Aficionado

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    Jul 19, 2019

    I totally agree with this. I’ve personally witnessed my female colleagues make comments towards us men, but we wouldn’t dare to say anything about the females because of the potential fallout.

    One female ex-colleague who moved out of state had a complete fit when she found out I was given the STEM director/Dean for Academic Affairs position because she wanted it and she tried to claim sexism. I felt obliged to defend myself but my principal did all the work for me. He stood up during a staff meeting and said I was more qualified than any of the other candidates because I was: 1) clearly the best educator for the job and 2) much more knowledgeable about maths and science and then proceeded to demonstrate why (I can teach Pre-Algebra through Advanced Calculus, Calc 3, DiffEq, Linear Algebra; plus, all the physical sciences and computer science.) He went on to say that I have been in charge of Robotics Club and Mu Alpha Theta and fill in for other math teachers and science teachers without issue, so it was only natural that I was selected. He concluded by looking about the room at the staff and locking eyes with the female in question before proceeding with the meeting.

    She was FUMING and I just smirked at her for the remainder of the meeting. It was glorious and anything but sexism, lol!
     
  6. whizkid

    whizkid Cohort

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    Jul 19, 2019

    Screw her, you earned it.

    And a sidenote, a while back you were describing yourself, I left a smiley, I totally thought you were a girl. :oops:
     
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  7. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Aficionado

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    Jul 19, 2019

    Oof. I get that sometimes. A lot, actually. You wouldn’t believe how many times a guy has taken a romantic interest in me... I’m not joking, the day I got hired at my school, a male student rolled up a magazine and slapped me on the behind and said, “Nice @$$.” I turned around in shock and took him straight to the principal and he was suspended for 10 days.
     
  8. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    Jul 19, 2019

    This all transpired during a staff meeting? Totally inappropriate, in my opinion.
     
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  9. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Aficionado

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    What’s inappropriate is saying another staff member is sexist in front of the high-school staff with zero evidence and yelling because you didn’t get the promotion you wanted. What’s inappropriate is impugning another person’s character because you are irate and didn’t get a pay raise. What’s inappropriate is betraying a colleague and slandering them in front of your fellow staff.

    It was handled exactly right and I’m lucky that my principal is fully supportive of me.
     
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  10. Mr.history

    Mr.history Cohort

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    I'm an 8th grade teacher. I'm literally the only male 8th grade teacher at my school. I do have better luck with a lot of students as well but I know why. At every parent conference the parents will usually tell me their kids like my class because I talk to them like they aren't little kids. The other teachers at my school are a good bit older than me and most of them have kids of their own so they talk down to the kids a lot. I had a teacher in college one time say something like, "make the kids like you and they wont tell on you when you screw up". I think this is true. If they like you they want to please you, especially younger kids.
     
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  11. readingrules12

    readingrules12 Fanatic

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    Jul 20, 2019

    Yes, I have heard similar comments that since I am a man, challenging boys will naturally behave for me. I wish. I am glad I am hearing this comment less now than when I first started teaching 25+ years ago. Even though it comes out of the mouths of a few female teachers, I think it is insulting to female teachers. Women have shown they do just as well in the classroom management area as men. I don't hear these comments about men from experienced female teachers. They have seen that though some men are great with classroom management, some really do poorly at it. I know myself, my classroom management was worse than my female grade level team when I started teaching. Now it is very good. My gender hasn't changed, but what I do with classroom management has changed a lot. Good training and good decisions define classroom management--not gender IMO.
     
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  12. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    Jul 20, 2019

    It tends to be our older female teachers who get those kids.
     
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  13. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    I'm happy to hear that he's supportive of you. However, I wholeheartedly feel that a staff meeting was not the proper place to have that sort of conversation. As an administrator, I would've simply stated that it's a personnel/HR matter and won't be discussed during a staff meeting.
     
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2019
  14. Aces

    Aces Habitué

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    I have to agree here. My P would have probably died had that of been aired at a faculty meeting. Just simply because of the nature of the conversation.
     
  15. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    My principal and I would have never allowed that discussion to have occurred. Staff meetings are jam packed with instructional items that need to be addressed--not adult "playground" issues. It almost seems unbelievable that this happened.
     
  16. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Aficionado

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    Jul 20, 2019

    Be that as it may, when someone accuses you of something heinous in front of everyone, you have a right to defend yourself right then and there and regardless of the forum. She was the one who decided to make a spectacle in front of everyone and throw epithets with zero evidence and raise her voice. She disrupted the meeting once my principal announced my promotion. My principal would not have said what followed otherwise. And I think he handled it beautifully in that he didn’t address her specifically and did not invoke any one person’s name. He just said that all the candidates were carefully considered and that I received the position because of my extensive knowledge of maths and sciences and experience and not because of my gender.

    When he outlined all of my accomplishments and subject area competencies, there was no question that I deserved the promotion. She couldn’t refute a single thing he said thereafter.
     

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