As an experienced teacher I am doubting myself and not feeling confident. We are going through a process of whole school improvement and I feel like it doesn't matter what I do it isn't good enough. Just wondering how people deal with situations where you are finding things negative? Also makes me wonder why I ever wanted to be a teacher........
I just wanted to send support. I'm going through an extremely tough time now with a ridiculously challenging class and am questioning my practice, my ability and my sanity. At my school, I think many of us feel like we are being run over by so many changes- all of which are aimed at success for students, but it feels like treading water during a flood some days. Remember why we went into this insane profession. Look for the tiniest source of joy or success. Can you just do something downright fun with your class to perk you all up? What helps me the most in confiding in people I know and trust with the bad- and the good. Of course I can't find it, but I have a box- somewhere- filled with cards from parents expressing gratitude- and I pull it out to remember that I'm here for a reason. Does this help?
When I start to feel that way, I start leaving work at work. I go home and do something totally unrelated to work. I get enough sleep, and, sometimes, I exercise. I take care of myself. The way I see it, if trying my hardest isn't good enough, then trying less hard will still not be good enough. So I might as well do what benefits me, personally, the most.
It's so TOUGH when you're experienced and used to your methods, and then your school tells you to change everything. It must feel like you're a first-year teacher all over again. During the seven years I've been at my school, my department has completely overhauled curriculum twice and I've changed teaching positions three times. Now we're in the middle of a series of school-wide improvement programs from the state. The only way I'm staying on top of things is by reading all the material from the state and keeping up communication with my principal / assistant principal. At least I have an idea of what's next in the pipeline and how I'll have to adjust.
I fear this feeling, too...I am just starting out in my career, really, and am seeing some of the "old school" types want to quit/retire over the introduction of the iPad 1:1 devices. Sometimes I wonder what the "educational innovation" will be how ever many years from now that will make me feel ready to throw in the towel!
I feel your pain. What gets me is how much of it breaks down/doesn't work/wastes time. I'm losing so much teaching and learning time (not to mention discipline issues while I'm focusing on the technology issues!) trying to make the technology work that I'm just not getting through what I need to get through. It doesn't matter how much time I spend on my own time (after school and weekends and summers) setting it all up and earning how to do it and practicing practicing practicing until I can use it smoothly...something always happens - frequently! - that is out of my control. And then in a year or two or three, everything changes and we have to relearn/set up/practice all over again while the new technology breaks down/doesn't work/wastes time. Sigh...
The technology does not phase me that much. Being older doesn't bother me either but how I am treated does. Hopefully you don't have my experience.
What I've seen happening, teachers and schools are targeted for problems that do not originate from the schools (or problems that don't even exist in the first place). The media and politicians re-interpret the statistics to make it look like the U.S. is performing below other countries, but some non-biased research is indicating the exact opposite. The countries that supposedly score better are also using the U.S. as a model on how to teach more effectively. Schools that are experiencing difficulty are doing their best (and in most cases doing an amazing job, even working miracles) to help students who've had no support at home. These students had less communication experience from birth to age 3 which permanently changes their brain structure against further learning in language often showing up in grade 3 as lower reading ability. Many students experience unthinkable stress, poor nutrition that inhibits brain development, lack of appropriate exercise which also inhibits brain functioning, drugs and alcohol (some parents will make their kids drunk just for their own entertainment), TV's BLARING in the house all day long, and if I keep going, this post will be too lengthy. It's a sad situation, but the focus for improvement is in the wrong area--surely, there's always room for improvement, but overwhelming teachers by trying to fix what isn't broken in the first place isn't going to solve the problem, and if the teachers are too overwhelmed to teach effectively, it will only make the situation worse.
I 100% agree - some of the situations my students are in just make me cry........ It is so important to teach the child as a whole being - so much more important than ensuring they are above their expected reading age!! Overall I understand this will also affect them but..
