Feeling overwhelmed because I feel like it's going to get worse before its over...

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by Pisces_Fish, Mar 26, 2009.

  1. Pisces_Fish

    Pisces_Fish Fanatic

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    Mar 26, 2009

    First year teacher here, just looking to vent.

    This past month I've really been starting to feel the pressure. I feel like my kids aren't learning, and that they're destined to fail the EOG. I am scared to death I will not be renewed. All my observations have gone very well, and my P has said wonderful things about me, but deep down I am waiting for those EOGs to come back and I will be let go due to the poor scores. Today we did a practice EOG and the thought processes some of my kids had were very scary. My kids are struggling in writing, and I feel like I've let them all down. Classroom management is still an ongoing issue, but I've thankfully gotten better. I keep reminding myself that next year is a new start.

    I'm also dreading the months coming up. I'm required to make a 'waiver folder' for all the kids that don't pass the EOG but have a C average. I am so scared I don't have enough classwork (or the 'right type') to prove it. I have so many kids failing its insane (actually the whole grade level does). My P knows this group of kids is very lazy...she told me early on that if I can survive this year I will most certainly survive teaching. It still frightens me to look at their report cards, though. I am scared I will crack under the pressure. My P runs a tight ship, and its so easy to feel like you're drowning.

    I dream about school every night, and its always bad stuff :( I can't talk to my mentor because (sadly) I don't trust her. She can be very sweet, but I know she'll go right to my P with anything I tell her...I found out the hard way early on. Luckily I do have teachers I can trust, but its still so scary.

    I guess it all boils down to this - I feel like a 'secret failure.' On the outside I think I appear to be in control and 'with it,' but deep down I feel like I've failed, only it won't be proven until EOG time. During the day I'm ok (for the most part) but at night I have scary thoughts. Whew!! I feel so vulnerable letting that all out! :unsure:

    Is this normal??
     
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  3. prnces917

    prnces917 New Member

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    Mar 26, 2009

    I am a first year also and I am feeling the stress! There is this fear that I am doing it all wrong. I have had several days where I have cried in my room all alone. There is just so many needs to be met, so many tasks to complete, and a child's education on the line. I am convinced I just need spring break to get all back together.

    I want to tell you like my team mates have told me... you are doing the best you can. That is all you can do. It is your first year and your P know that you are growing. Just have confidence in yourself!
     
  4. Go 4th

    Go 4th Habitué

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    Mar 26, 2009

    Pisces--I feel your pain!!!!!!!!!!!!

    OMG!!! This is so ME! I can't believe it is already test time. I look at my kids and know that some of them just are not ready. I've not worried about the test all year, and all the sudden it is all I can think of. I was good until my P told me that she was really impressed with me. I asked if she saw anything I needed to work on, and she said no, but we would see after the test scores come in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Been freaking out since then.

    My kids are going bonkers. NON STOP talking. I actually sent one out to another room today. I haven't done that since before Christmas. I'm just tired of repeating the same thing over and over to this kid. And my class seems like they all have Forget-itis.

    I'm ready for a break, but unfortunately it will be right before the test and I think that will make me worry even MORE!!
     
  5. nayelismom

    nayelismom Rookie

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    Mar 26, 2009

    You know? I"m a first year teacher and from an ACP. I was soooo friggin' paranoid that my kids would not do well in their state testing. I was getting weird rashes. I kept testing the kids and kept getting less than a 60% pass rate. I kept doing remediation and reteaching while 3 out of the other 4 veteran teachers in my grade level did what they do "every year".

    The day that the P called us in for test scores, I wanted to run!!! I was so scared. It turns out that 81% of my kids passed the tests. I was in second place next to the teacher that looped from second grade with her kids. She got 90% of her kids to pass. The grade chair had 78%, my mentor had 60% and the other teacher had a 77% pass rate. Turns out that all of my fears led me to work harder and push my kids just that much more!! You'll be fine!
     
  6. Pisces_Fish

    Pisces_Fish Fanatic

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    Mar 26, 2009

    Me too!! I need a break but I'm scared to return. It's such a weird feeling.
     
  7. adventuresofJ

    adventuresofJ Comrade

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    Mar 26, 2009

    Just remember spring break is soon and you can plan your last quarter and EOG prep.

    I'm feeling a little what you are, but I am a LTS. I'm worried that I'm being too lenient on my kids and when they get to the real thing they will fail miserably. Monday starts our EOG prep - I'm taking the tests of the DPI site and making copies, I have buckledown and will make copies of some of the other practice tests... That is all we'll be doing in LA for the next 6 weeks. (well that and fun activities geared toward that).

    And our tech guy sent out an email... only 49days left.
     
  8. **Mrs.A**

    **Mrs.A** Comrade

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    Mar 26, 2009

    I'm a first year teacher and we test next week... Are my kids ready? I would like to think so. I know in my heart I did the best I could and I'm proud of myself!! :D I worked hard this year.

    We've been reviewing and talking about test taking strategies all week..I've been trying to throw in some fun stuff so they don't get overwhelmed or stressed. I'm trying to remain calm so they remain calm. There's nothing more I can do at this point, except pray for the best! :lol:
     
  9. leighbball

    leighbball Virtuoso

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    Mar 26, 2009

    Just wanted to send hugs :hugs:...the pressures of first year teaching coupled with high stakes testing are enough to make anyone feel crazy. It sounds like your P knows you are a great teacher and you have a tough grade level this year. Keep your chin up...you can make it through the rest of the year!!! :D
     
  10. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

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    Mar 27, 2009

    I hear ya Pisces. Nebraska is piloting a new state test this year, and my school has volunteered to be one of the schools to try it. But the problem is, we don't get any results! So next year, when we have to do it for real, I won't know what to expect...which is I guess what all the others teachers are in for.

    I'm so mad about this test. We have been doing fine with our standards, and one stupid senator wiped it all out.
     
  11. Mrs. R.

    Mrs. R. Connoisseur

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    Mar 27, 2009

    I find this thread to be a sad commentary on the state of our schools. When "achievement" is boiled down to one test, we are harming our kids and ourselves. I know that the pressure you are feeling is real, and that as first year teachers, you feel that there is little you can do. But as a profession we should be fighting back against this insanity.
    I think one of the reasons I am especially fired up is because I have been reading Kelly Gallagher's new book Readicide, which talks about how all of this insane test prep is actually making our kids poorer readers. AAAAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!! Now is not a great time to be a teacher.
     
  12. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

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    Mar 27, 2009

    This frustrates me too for all younger teachers.

    Is there any way you can put some pressure on parents to help?

    You just do the best you can, you can't take the test for the kids, make every day count, and then go home and cry if you need to. First year teachers have cried the entire year for as long as I've been teaching. It's just stressful.

    Amazing, we've dumped more money into education and it's not easier and it's not better.
     
  13. Pisces_Fish

    Pisces_Fish Fanatic

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    Mar 27, 2009

    That Readicide book sounds interesting, but if I read it am I just going to depress myself?
     
  14. Mrs. R.

    Mrs. R. Connoisseur

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    It also talks about what we can do in our classrooms to foster a love of reading in our kids. I am enjoying the book!
     
  15. Missy99

    Missy99 Connoisseur

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    Mar 27, 2009

    I'm with you. The feelings aren't exclusive to you.

    We are about to start the drill & grill, and I am so sad about it.
     

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