First year teacher here, just looking to vent. This past month I've really been starting to feel the pressure. I feel like my kids aren't learning, and that they're destined to fail the EOG. I am scared to death I will not be renewed. All my observations have gone very well, and my P has said wonderful things about me, but deep down I am waiting for those EOGs to come back and I will be let go due to the poor scores. Today we did a practice EOG and the thought processes some of my kids had were very scary. My kids are struggling in writing, and I feel like I've let them all down. Classroom management is still an ongoing issue, but I've thankfully gotten better. I keep reminding myself that next year is a new start. I'm also dreading the months coming up. I'm required to make a 'waiver folder' for all the kids that don't pass the EOG but have a C average. I am so scared I don't have enough classwork (or the 'right type') to prove it. I have so many kids failing its insane (actually the whole grade level does). My P knows this group of kids is very lazy...she told me early on that if I can survive this year I will most certainly survive teaching. It still frightens me to look at their report cards, though. I am scared I will crack under the pressure. My P runs a tight ship, and its so easy to feel like you're drowning. I dream about school every night, and its always bad stuff I can't talk to my mentor because (sadly) I don't trust her. She can be very sweet, but I know she'll go right to my P with anything I tell her...I found out the hard way early on. Luckily I do have teachers I can trust, but its still so scary. I guess it all boils down to this - I feel like a 'secret failure.' On the outside I think I appear to be in control and 'with it,' but deep down I feel like I've failed, only it won't be proven until EOG time. During the day I'm ok (for the most part) but at night I have scary thoughts. Whew!! I feel so vulnerable letting that all out! :unsure: Is this normal??