Feeling Kinda Sad

Discussion in 'Early Childhood Education Archives' started by Grammy Teacher, Dec 8, 2005.

  1. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Dec 8, 2005

    This little girl in my classroom has been giving many teachers problems for years. I have discussed some of the things she does before. She is rude, spoiled, and naughty. However, she is bright, smart, and eager to learn. My boss had a "taste" of her recently when she worked in my classroom. She suggested that we "boot her out" because of the disruptions she causes. The only reason it bothers me is because she was not that bad for Me...it was just other people who subbed for me or relieved me for my breaks. She would kick the walls, make noises, etc and we have tried everything you can think of...but she just kept it up. Tomorrow is her last day. She will be going to an aunts house for now. We think perhaps this will be best all around since she can't behave for us.
     
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  3. Danny'sNanny

    Danny'sNanny Connoisseur

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    Dec 8, 2005

    :( Some of my favorite students have been the "troublemakers." It makes me so sad when no one else understands them. Hopefully everything will work out for this little girl...
     
  4. serawyn

    serawyn Companion

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    Dec 9, 2005

    I am in the same situation. I have a child who is very mean and aggressive with others. I've learned to work with him and know that he doesn't take any stern tones. For example, I usually use a *very* stern voice in cases where a child is agressively mean or beating another child. I don't tolerate any agressive behavior. However, in this child's case, I cannot use a stern voice to let him know it's not acceptable because he will become extremely mean and dangerous (he threw a ball in my face once when I told him he cannot punch another kid). He acts like a wild animal at times when he eats because he is so rough and aggressive. The other teachers/subs are so upset with him and usually yell at him. I've learned not to yell and have learned techniques to deal with him. However, my boss came in once and told me he is a "lost cause". It really saddens me because I don't want him to just be passed onto another person. I don't know what will happen, but my boss seem to think that he is uncontrolable, but he's learned to trust and listen to me. :(
     
  5. Keling9

    Keling9 Companion

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    Dec 9, 2005

    What's even sadder is the fact of what kind of message this is sending to the child. On one hand, you have the, "You can't behave so you cannot be with your friends." On the other hand, you have the, "Hey! If I act up, I can get my way!" It's such a double-edged sword.

    I have a kid this year that just cannot keep his hands to himself...and lies about it, even if you witness him hitting others. He's lost all privelages in the classroom and in the school and has to earn them back. It makes me so sad--and like you, Grammy, he doesn't really act up for me as much as he does others, especially subs. What to do....
     
  6. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Dec 9, 2005

    I've had a couple like that Grammy and know how you feel. However, it may just be the best thing for the rest of your class if she's causing that many problems, but I know it can be hard. I know if I had to deal with that in my home, it would not fly and I would not put up with it. In other words, the child would not be allowed in my home. But that's also my own home, things are a little more sacred (personal property, etc.). I've had children in preschool classes and daycares that would NEVER be allowed in my home, because that's my own home, you feel invaded a lot as it is. But I've had some children put on probation and that seemed to work plenty of times. I don't know what I said all makes sense. I guess I'm just babbling because I'm still tired and trying to be sympathetic.

    Why has it taken them this long to ask her to leave? Years? At this point, I'd think they'd just put up with it because she's been there this long. After that amount of time you just get so attached and they become like your own children, no matter how naughty they are. Well, there have been a couple that were different than that...but I wont get into that.

    Sorry for how you're feeling Grammy. Maybe next week you'll see an improvement in the dynamic of your group:).
     
  7. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    I told my boss that i have had to deal with "worse" behaviors than hers, but I understand that this child is upsetting for other teachers. She won't listen to any of them and they send her to the office every day when I am on break or if there is a sub. She would only listen to me. It's such a shame. However, I think a change might do her good. I went shopping for her and bought her new shoes(her toes were coming out the end), pants, sox, and a shirt to match. I really don't think they are that poor. I think they just don't know any better.
    What bugs me most is that this has been going on for quite some time and the teachers before me sugar coated her behavior. At least my boss is aware if that.
     
  8. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Dec 10, 2005

    I don't know why people sugar coat things. It only makes a situation worse and doesn't solve anything. Honesty is always better. Good thing she's aware of it.
     
  9. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Dec 10, 2005

    Hey Gram!! The reason she is not misbehaving for you is that you have connectected with her- she respects you. You probably set reasonable limits while providing choices.....How often is she with other teachers? I guess if today was her last day it's a little late for any other remediations/offering advice.....will her parents bring her back next year? Seems like you're a good fit for her.
     
  10. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    To be honest, if the other teachers have sugar coated everything and are not honest with the parents, then it's their own fault. Asking the child to leave doesn't seem like a reasonable solution if the problems weren't handled correctly. If I were the director, I would think about keeping the child around until the teachers handle it appropriately. Although, it's probably too late, but I would be thinking about saying "put up with it until you handle the situation the way it's suppose to be handled", then talk about it if the approriate measures don't work. Don't know if that made sense, but if you ask me, it's the other teachers own fault if they didn't handle it the way it was suppose to be handled. That's probably why the child was good for you Grammy, because you handled her situation with care.
     
  11. kinderkids

    kinderkids Virtuoso

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    Dec 10, 2005

    Jen I do agree with you but I also know that different personalities can make a difference in a child's behavior as well. Perhaps Grammy's personality is a good fit for this child and the other teachers are not. I have had kids in my class that I hadn't ever had problems with and then the next years teacher is going nuts because of their behavior.........I never had to sugar coat anything, the kid just wasn't a problem for me. Just a thought. But I know what you mean, the other teachers shouldn't be saying things that aren't true just to make it easier for themselves! That is unfair to the next teacher and the child! :(
     
  12. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    That makes sense too. :)
     
  13. kinderkids

    kinderkids Virtuoso

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    Dec 10, 2005

    I'm glad y ou think so because I am suffering from a sinus infection again, and I am very light-headed and dizzy!!!!! I'm wondering if I am making any sense at all!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!:p
     
  14. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Dec 10, 2005

    She has been a problem for previous teachers from day one and spent a great deal of time in the office. Some teachers gave her special privileges just to keep her "quiet"... and others just put up with her behaviors...real wishy washy. A couple of years ago she had the whole class saying "poopie" all day long. It was awful and no plan was ever put in place to stop this behavior. She was always an instigator of trouble. I would hear her saying things like, "let's do whatever we want to...Pat can't see us right now." This was a constant thing...every day and everyday...and one of my nicest, smartest little girls who had unusually good manners would act just awful when they were together...laughing uncontrollably and being unreasonably wild and silly. I don't think any teacher should have to do summersaults or stand on her head to expect a child to behave like a decent human being...and I especially don't think a child like this should be allowed to run the classroom and influence the other children who do have some measure of respect for adults. So, in a nutshell, she is a little brat and perhaps this whole ugly situation will have enough of an impact on her to make her realize that she is not in charge and that some pretty drastic actions will be taken when she doesn't behave.
     
  15. kinderkids

    kinderkids Virtuoso

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    Dec 10, 2005

    Grammy, is this the same girl who sleeps in a crib yet and wears the baby bonnet? I agree with what you just said. Hopefully this will have enough of an impact on her entire family to make them realize they need to change the way they are raising this little hellion! I bet you are going to have a much more peaceful and wonderful day with the rest of your little ones. It's amazing how one little body can impact the mood of a classroom!
     
  16. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    I wouldn't want to deal with it either Grammy. My patience is not at all capable for dealing with little ones like that. I would never allow that to go on in my own preschool, much less someone elses.
     
  17. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Yes this is the one and I feel like something is missing without her there everyday. She respected me, even though I was very strict with her. I am more mad at her dumb mom and poor old well meaning grama than anything. It is all their fault. They have spoiled her. As far as the crib is concerned, that is really not even a problem. She has another bed in her room . The problem is that they let her do whatever she wants to, which many times means falling asleep in the living room with mom watching tv ... just no adults really taking the bull by the horns so to speak. I am glad that she doesn't have to wear that silly bonnet anymore though!!! hahaha....well, enough of that...I am ready to move on and enjoy my peaceful classroom!!! I have such a busy week coming up! Our Christmas breakfast is Friday and we have lots to do yet........the joys of the season!!! I have not bought even one family gift yet!!! I never have time to shop!!!
     
  18. kinderkids

    kinderkids Virtuoso

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    Oh I agree!! The mom seems to have created this monster child. Have you met the auntie who is going to take her in? You have too big of a heart, Grammy!!! I am sure most people wouldn't have been as caring and compasssionate as you! Sounds like others have written her off, where you have really tried to connect and make a difference. Good for you!! :)
     
  19. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    No I haven't met the auntie and I hope I never do! I am so sick of the whole family!!!
     
  20. JulieC

    JulieC Rookie

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    Dec 13, 2005

    I understand your sadness completely. This year I had to put a boy out of pre-school after two months. The parents seemed to expect it - they know what he is like. I feel responsible for this child - he has an older brother (6) who is very rough and the child was constantly covered in bruises and scrapes. His coat was always filthy - not just grubby - but hadn't been washed in weeks dirty. Lunch was always just thrown in a bag. When I look at all my other kids and the care that goes into their appearance ( i'm not talking fashion, just hygiene) and the love that goes into the lunch box, I despair for this little boy. I feel as if I have started the ball rolling on a downward direction for his life. On top of this the other teacher who works with me saw him last week with and enormous black eye. I feel so bad for him.
    In saying that, my classroom is a great place to be now where as before I felt sick going in the morning. I know you feel for this little girl, but you can't save them all.
     
  21. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    My kids are so good now and the room is in peace.
     
  22. kinderkids

    kinderkids Virtuoso

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    I'm glad for you Grammy!!! As it should be!!! :)
     
  23. kinderkids

    kinderkids Virtuoso

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    Dec 13, 2005

    Oh, and let me also add.......I'm happy for the kiddos in your class! They deserve it as well.
     

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