Feeling Frustrated!

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by misteacher, Oct 24, 2010.

  1. misteacher

    misteacher Companion

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    Oct 24, 2010

    I just found out 2 of my students are being moved because their parents don't want them in my classroom. Our administration is fearful of parents going over their head so they move kids just to appease the parents. I work really hard to differenciate instruction for my students and spend hours preparing lessons and materials so they can be engaged and meet the standards. The sad thing is that each child has told me that they don't want to move classrooms, but their parents are insisting. One parent told our AP it doesn't matter what his kid wants. Neither parent has come to me with their concerns so I am still in the dark as to what issues they have. The AP has told them that she feels they should come talk to me, but both parents have refused. Ultimately the P makes the decision to move kids, so my AP feels that her hands are tied. It is also frustrating to have colleagues tell me not to take it personally, but I have invested time, effort, and emotion into these students so it is not easy to just shrug it off. BTW- I send home weekly progress notes and communicate with parents through e-mail, notes, phone calls, and have an open door policy where parents can visit the classroom any time they make an appointment. I have never had issues like this in my 20+ years of teaching until I moved to this particular school.
    Does your administration give in to parent demands without discussing it with you? How do you not take it personally when a parent essentially tells you that you are not good enough to teach their child? I have a terrific class this year, so it tears at my heart to see these 2 students leave and have to deal with questions from the other students about why so and so is no longer in our class. Sorry, just had to vent because I am so sad and mad:confused:!
     
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  3. Proud2BATeacher

    Proud2BATeacher Phenom

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    Oct 24, 2010

    Since you are new to the school it could just be because they do not know you or maybe you are just doing things "differently" then what they are used to. Maybe you do more hands-on (non-paper) activities and these parents may not consider that as learning...

    I also experienced a parent wanting to remove a student from my class but because I was the only mild autism class in my school, the principal said that he would have to stay for another couple of months before he would consider asking permission for him to move. I know that the parents didn't want him in special ed. at all (the teacher the year before experienced the same thing) but it was still hard not to take it personally. I also found it a bit embarrassing since it was my first year in the school. He did end up staying and the parents and I formed a great relationship. I just loved this student:wub: It got to the point that as soon as he entered the class, he would come straight to me for a good morning hug.
     
  4. misteacher

    misteacher Companion

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    Oct 24, 2010

    This is my third year at this school. We do have students from another school this year since we were rezoned due to a new school being built. These 2 students have been at our school since K. We have 2 other classes that are inclusion (which is not true inclusion) that have autistic, LD, and GATE students. Those teachers were promised lower class size,but that is not happening. The other 4th grade classroom has lots of behavior issues this year, so I feel so badly that my students will be moving to a classroom where the teachers feel overwhelmed already. I think the issue with one of these parents is that the student is earning A/Bs and she has been straight As. Last year's teacher told me that she gave her extra credit projects so that she would not have Bs. I really love this student too. She is very unique and has that quiet "cool" factor. She is so special and it just breaks my heart that her dad doesn't care what she wants.
     
  5. nasirahc83

    nasirahc83 Companion

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    Oct 25, 2010

    Yeah, i had this happen to me and unlike you, I am new teacher so I took this extrememly personal. Even though the parent did speak to me prior and it had nothing to do with my teaching per-say; she just did not want her kid in the same classroom as another kid who she felt bullies her child but in reality the kid does not bully her child. Both students are friends and just rough to each other...they are boys. Anyway, I was still upset because one I got attach to my students, second, I felt as though she thought I could not handle keeping the students apart.
     
  6. mopar

    mopar Multitudinous

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    Oct 25, 2010

    It is a hard situation to be in, I agree. These parents will soon see that the grass isn't always greener! Know that you are doing what is best for your students and your admin knows this. That is why they haven't been done knocking your door down. The admin knows that these parents are just blowing smoke-and will no matter what-so they are not validating their concerns by bringing them to you.

    My suggestion, go back and reread some of the nice emails or phone conversations from parents you've had over the years! You deserve the break.
     
  7. Yank7

    Yank7 Habitué

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    Oct 26, 2010

    There are a number of reasons parents ask for transfers in my school. Among those we have heard are the teacher gives too much work,my child is upset at the amount of homework he receives,he wants to be with his friends,the children are mean to him especially when he harasses them,the teacher yelled at him,the teacher demanded he open up his textbook before the rest of the class finished the assignment.
    The problem is once the principal says yes the floodgates open up.
    There are occasionally conflicts between child and teacher which are better solved by a change,but most times it is because the principal is afraid to say no to a parent.
    Just continue to work hard,it is up to the principal and there is probably nothing you can do about it ,although I do think it is incumbent on the principal to discuss the matter with the teacher before making the move.
     
  8. misteacher

    misteacher Companion

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    Oct 26, 2010

    Thanks, I agree with everything you posted. I just wish I didn't take it so personally and it would be nice to have the matter discussed with me before any moving is done. I still don't know what the parent's issues are.
     
  9. UVAgrl928

    UVAgrl928 Habitué

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    Oct 26, 2010

    For this reason, our P does not allow transfering of students to be determined by parents.
     
  10. mopar

    mopar Multitudinous

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    Oct 26, 2010

    Ask your principal for the reasons if you are concerned. But honestly, they would have talked with you if their was something that they truly thought you could change or make this parent happy.
     
  11. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Oct 27, 2010

    Same here.
     
  12. ChristyF

    ChristyF Moderator

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    Oct 27, 2010

    Our Prinicpal often talks to parents without letting us know. (If she feels their complaints have no merit, she just defuses the situation and goes on about her day.) She is great about backing teachers up and does not transfer on parent request. Actually, in my parish they don't take parent requests, and even school employees may not get their requests.
     
  13. TiffanyL

    TiffanyL Cohort

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    Oct 27, 2010

    I don't move children without teacher input. In fact, I don't even allow parents to meet with me to discuss a teacher concern. I give the "return call" message to the teacher and THEY call the parent to address the concern. The problem is almost always resolved. If not, then I require that the teacher, parent and myself meet prior to any student transfer. I always check in with the teacher beforehand to determine if they want to keep the student and keep trying or if they have a different plan. 9/10 the issue is resolved in my office and student doesn't move.
     

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