Family Vent (gay drama)

I wasn't going to comment on this thread because I really had nothing to add, plus I'm pretty sure some members would start lighting the torches and boiling the tar, but I have to chime in. I really have to disagree with you. You think me being upset because one of my very good friends stopped talking to me after I came out is "going a bit far"? Why shouldn't I be upset? We had a great friendship and none of it revolved around me being straight. Just because I like guys doesn't change anything about me and it didn't affect anything that our friendship was built on. So hell yeah I'm going to be upset. Although I think the point of no return was when we got into a fist fight in the parking lot in high school.

If everyone had the same mindset as you, the movement wouldn't go anywhere. I just really don't like the whole "they don't like me for my sexuality so I'm just going to ignore it" mentality.

While I understand that not everyone "agrees" with same-sex couples, I really just think that there's nothing that SHOULD be "agreed" with. It's like ethnicity: you're born a certain way. Straight people are born straight. White people are born white. Gay people are born gay. Why should MY sexuality need someone else's approval? Straight people don't need to come out. They don't need to worry about their friends and family rejecting them. They don't need to fight to be able to marry. They don't have to worry about holding hands in public. And neither should gay people. So the whole "I agree with your sexuality" thing is a bunch of crap, because it shouldn't be something that needs to be agreed with.

If we just sit back and say "okay, that's fine," nothing is going to happen.

If I was born straight, my life would be so much different. I wouldn't have gone through all the crap I did in high school. I wouldn't have had to worry about whether or not my friends would have accepted me and stuck around. I couldn't even tell my best friend; I had one of my other friends talk to him for me because I was so afraid I'd lose him. I wouldn't have been ostracized from 75% of my friends my senior year when I was cynically outed to the public. I wouldn't have had to worry about what my family would think. Telling my mom was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I still haven't told my dad beacuse I have a pretty good idea how he's going to react.

So no, I don't think I'm going "a bit far" when I expect to be treated like an equal human being. And I'm honestly disappointed I'm hearing that from a fellow LGBT person.

The fact that his own aunt didn't show up because he brought his boyfriend is ********. How do you think that made him feel? I'd feel pretty crappy if one of my aunts didn't show up to a family function because I love another guy -- something I cannot control, and did not ask for.

I'm so angry right now, so I'm going to stop. But seriously -- just think about it. You're being an enabler for discriminatory thought.

And no, Irishdave, I don't agree with you. Yes, I demand to be accepted because I am NO different than you. It just so happens that I'm in love with a guy. Keep your beliefs. Think how you want. Just keep it inside your head, and out of the polling booths.

JustMe, if you think your cousin ever needs to talk to someone who understands, feel free to forward him my email. I know I'm a total stranger to him, but at least I'm an ear with a familiar perspective since I've been through the same thing.

Oh, and here's a good video everyone should watch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSb66e81SKM

 

What he said. ^

On a happier note, I heard on the radio that Chick Fil A is going to stop donating to anti-gay charities and change the wording on some of their policies to include equal treatment for those of all sexual orientations. Woohoo! I didn't get a lot of details because I found a parking spot at that moment, but I did a little cheer.

 

*hugs*, Mike.

 

I understand how you feel Mike, but I simply have a different mindset about it.

When people avoid me because they don't like me, or they "disagree" with my "lifestyle" (again I think that's a ridiculous statement, because as you said, it's like disagreeing with someone's ethnicity), I simply say "****em" (excuse my French) and move on with my life.

I really have too much to do with my life than to fume about someone being an ignorant bigot.

At least in this case, the only offending action is that the Aunt is avoiding the family gatherings because of the nephew. In that case, if it were me, I'd have to do even less to avoid that person.

I know you think it's important to the "movement" as you said, for people to be more accepting, but the majority of us who can use logic, love, and life experiences, already realize that there is no good argument to discriminate against same-sex couples.

The rest, as Irishdave stated, are few, old, and about to die in a decade or two anyway. They won't be the ones running the country.

What is important is to nurture love, acceptance, and compassion in the younger generation, who are our students.

Again Mike, I know a little bit of what you've been through.

 

True!

The more I have thought about this particular situation, the more I believe he probably doesn't know she's avoiding him. My family is not close (I have not been to mamaw's for these gatherings in ten or so years...but not because anyone is gay!) yet somehow always managing to bicker, so he probably thought she was ticked about something else.

 

I know this thread is a bit old but I did a little scrolling and found a topic of interest so I had to chime in.

I personally have no intention of respecting anyone's opinion that it is wrong to life the gay lifestyle. It is just as bad as putting down a culture who does things differently and that would never be respected by anyone I would be friends with. It is hate, and I don't care what their religious or conservative reasons are for believing in that.

Religion is not an acceptable excuse for bigotry. That isn't to say all religion is bigotry, but if someone is going to present me with an opinion that they want me to respect, they need to have a reason for it, and if their reasoning is simply because of what they were raised to believe or what their church teaches, I have no respect for that.

Saying you accept gays but don't approve of their gay lifestyle is the same thing as saying you accept blacks but don't approve of the black lifestyle.

 

Ummm, that might not be a good comparison... because actually it's pretty legit IMHO to dislike the current ghetto lifestyle of high crime, low respect for education, high rates of drug use, high incarceration rates, high rates of kids born out of wedlock, etc., etc.

 

This^^^. More than once I have asked when I hear the word choice "so when did you choose what sex you were attracted to". Lifestyle? I dont think so. I usually spot children that are gay and have for over 33+ years in teaching. To imagine a child is choosing his or her sex drive is ludicrous. With all the diversity in the human race how hard is it to understand some folks are wired a different way. My mother was gay and her partner was like our aunt. A wonderful person. After the both died I read some stuff my mom wrote to her. She loved her so much and they were good for each other. I think the Beatles wrote (probably John) All you need is love.

 

Well said. I am not here on this earth to judge. IMO, God will take care of that. People are people,no matter their ethnicity or their sexual preference. All deserve to be loved.
My best friend is gay. She is a wonderful person who loves me unconditionally. I feel the same about her. My husband's aunt is gay. It has never been an issue!

 

Ever wish a thread automatically closed after two weeks or so? :haha:

(I say this because it's my thread and I'm trying to ignore some family issues this holiday.)

 

Sad that it was resurrected with yet another dig at religion...


, Just Me...the holidays can be healing or sometimes just continues family drama...I wish you the first of these.

 

Thank you! So far, so good!

 

Hugs, JustMe. I never got to know the son of my oldest great-uncle because his dad decided we wouldn't approve of him and his partner. He'd been a child star, then transitioned into a career as a songwriter and performer - it wasn't till just now, looking him up on Google, that I discovered he'd appeared on pretty much every one of the variety shows that filled TV in the '60s and '70s. He must have had fascinating stories, and I'm sorry I missed out on them all.

(A request by the originator of a thread that it be closed is often honored.)

 

It's okay...that's what I get for airing dirty laundry.

 

Interesting that the first think you think of when thinking of the black lifestyle is crime and ghetto.

I actually was talking more along the lines of different cultural traditions of African heritage that many traditional people disapprove of, such as music, dress, and other cultural differences that white conservatives see as inappropriate or unusual.

Crime, low respect for education, drug use, incarceration rates I see as coming from social causes not related to skin color or culture.

 

You could request a moderator to close it for you.

 

You know, I wasn't going to request it be closed...but it was brought back to life and is just going down hill. So I will request that.