Family and significant other

Discussion in 'New Teachers' started by rockangel312, Sep 10, 2011.

  1. rockangel312

    rockangel312 Companion

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2008
    Messages:
    138
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 10, 2011

    Venting........

    Do any other new teachers feel that some people in their lives give them a hard time about spending hours on work and staying late at the school?

    It is annoying! My mother one day told me to snap out of my "lazy mode" a couple of weeks before school started. I was working ALL day! Just because I didn't get showered and dressed to sit in my room and work doesn't mean I am lazy.

    My boyfriend hasn't really said he is upset with me working, but I feel like he is sometimes. I feel bad when I need to stay in and work. There definitely is not enough time in the day to do everything that needs to be done. It's bad enough feeling a bit overwhelmed, but to have people in your life not understand makes it worse.

    Ughh.
    :|
     
  2.  
  3. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2001
    Messages:
    24,948
    Likes Received:
    2,096

    Sep 10, 2011

    My family values hard work, but we also have our priorities straight. It's important to not make work 'your life'. Take time to enjoy the one you love, spend some time doing things you love (besides school), remember to make time for yourself as well.:love:
     
  4. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2007
    Messages:
    14,468
    Likes Received:
    2,485

    Sep 10, 2011

    I think czacza said it very well.

    One thing I've discovered about teaching is that there is always something to do. No matter how organized you are or how well you manage your time, there will always be one more thing on your to-do list. It's just impossible to get it all done. For that reason you have to be willing to walk away at the end of the day satisfied with what you've done, knowing that you have made progress today and you will continue to make progress tomorrow.

    If your work is interfering with your personal relationships, it might be time to re-evaluate how much time you're spending at work. Work is never as important as your family.

    Furthermore, it sounds like you live at home with your parents. If you're concerned about them being overly involved in your life, it might be time to consider moving out.
     
  5. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

    Joined:
    May 8, 2008
    Messages:
    8,312
    Likes Received:
    1,433

    Sep 10, 2011

    My husband is wonderful about making sure I don't work too much. This isn't to say that he gets mad or snippy if I'm at my computer but he makes sure that I take a walk once in a while. He's worked from home before so he knows how that line of work can take over.

    Set a time that you stop working. Even if you haven't finished everything you wanted to do, it mostly likely can wait. Remember that you are a teacher but your are also a ton of other things to other people. If possible, find an activity with your SO that you can do once or twice a month at least. We picked tae kwon do classes that we do together.
     
  6. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2005
    Messages:
    4,395
    Likes Received:
    7

    Sep 10, 2011

    My busy times go in spurts, and at times it is hard for family to understand that one week I am done working at four every day, but the next week I might be bringing stuff home to do all night.

    It takes a while to get to the point where you can let it go. My first few years, I wanted everything to be perfect. I have learned that, as caesar said, my to do list is bottomless. I get one or two things crossed off every day, and I re prioritize every day. I currently have a couple things that I have wanted to get done since school started-but, it's not essential to my every day lessons and doesn't have a firm deadline. So, on the list it stays. Eventually, I'll have time.

    I guess my long winded point is, keep yourself organized to the point where you can take a night off.

    Oh, and ignore your mother. She means well, but if she isn't a teacher, she doesn't understand. This summer, I spent a couple full days at school, and my mother asked me what I could possibly have to do. I was hurt. It wasn't like I wanted to give up the pool to go in and clean. But I had to just shake it off.
     
  7. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2006
    Messages:
    2,305
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 10, 2011

    :thumb:
     
  8. dizzykates

    dizzykates Habitué

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2005
    Messages:
    815
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 10, 2011

    I had issues with that to start with, but you start defining your priorities and realizing that you can't keep up a frantic pace forever. I try to honor my husbands time by setting a specific time for me to do school work, usually at a time he has something else planned or when he is going to read a book or work on the computer. I get off before him in the afternoon so I try to make use of that time as well.
    As for what your parents are saying, my mother is convinced I eat bon-bons all summer. I just ignore her.
     
  9. Rebel1

    Rebel1 Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2008
    Messages:
    1,522
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 10, 2011

    Oh! Yeah!
    BIG time!
    Rebel1
     
  10. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2006
    Messages:
    27,534
    Likes Received:
    6

    Sep 10, 2011

    I'm a teacher married to a teacher.

    People kind of know not to bother us much in September or June, but they can ask ANYTHING of us in July and August.


    My sister is an accountant, so for her, it's late March and the first half of April. My brother works for the phone company-- on Fire Island. Fire Island was evacuated during Hurricane Irene, and the power to the island cut to save the lines. Let's just say we haven't heard a lot from Steve in the 2 weeks since.

    Each of us has our "busy time" at work. And we're lucky that family and friends respect that.
     
  11. KateL

    KateL Habitué

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2007
    Messages:
    810
    Likes Received:
    2

    Sep 10, 2011

    My husband sometimes has issues with me working more than he does, since I make less money than he does. In his mind, higher salaries come with longer hours, so my lower salary should come with fewer hours. It just doesn't work that way for teachers, though! I tell him that since I get 2 months off in the summer, all of my working hours have to fit in the other 10 months of the year.
     
  12. SwOcean Gal

    SwOcean Gal Devotee

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2004
    Messages:
    1,151
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 11, 2011

    I have semi-solved that problem with my family by giving them some busy work that I would otherwise be doing. I come home with homework for them and pass it off- be it filing, labeling, organizing, sorting, cutting, pasting, etc. I actually have parent volunteers this year though- so I have made excellent use of them already, too! Yay! I still have busy work better suited to bringing home though- that is just not worth sending with a student for a parent to work on at home.
     
  13. soleil00

    soleil00 Comrade

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2011
    Messages:
    440
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 11, 2011

    My family really does this.. and it gets annoying.

    They don't understand that I either work one day each weekend to prep for the next week or I have to stay late every weeknight. My father went so far as to say that he never realized how stupid of a job teaching was, because we have to spend all of our off-time getting ready for the next day/week whatever. He's an idiot and has no mental filter though, so anything spews from his mouth.

    I've even had my co-workers scold me for NOT staying late before! I don't like working at night, being at the school at night freaks me out... so I do all my work Saturday afternoon when I can be alone. I'm a real loner so they really don't understand why I won't do my lesson plans with them...=(
     
  14. rockangel312

    rockangel312 Companion

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2008
    Messages:
    138
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 15, 2011

    Thanks for all of the input. :) I know I do need more"me time." I'm trying I'm trying lol . I'm trying to prioritize too.

    To the comment about moving out. I wouldn't dare think of that this year lol. She's not that bad, just annoying after being stressed out on top of it.
     
  15. ciounoi

    ciounoi Cohort

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2009
    Messages:
    593
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 17, 2011

    I'm a workaholic. My husband told me two days before school started that we would both go crazy if I took school as an opportunity to work 15 hour days. He's right, even though I do LOVE to work. :)

    Thus, I prioritize at work, schedule myself down to the minute. If I bring work home, I PLAN to bring work home and set a time limit for it. It actually is working out quite well for me... of course, this is only the second week of school, too.
     
  16. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2006
    Messages:
    2,305
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 17, 2011

     
  17. beccmo

    beccmo Comrade

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2007
    Messages:
    490
    Likes Received:
    12

    Sep 26, 2011

    The first year is the busiest as far as all the extra hours you put in. My husband couldn't believe all the work I did my first year. Then I switched schools and had all new courses, so I repeated my first year again. Now after having a few years under my belt I am happy to say that the totally overwhelmed feeling is pretty much gone. Planning time goes down, mostly because you are not creating EVERYTHING from scratch. I still spend time every week looking for new ideas to use in my classes, but I limit it to when my husband is busy (or sleeping since he gets up so early in the morning).

    I also created a rule for myself: Absolutely NO school work is to be done on a weekend until Sunday. Friday nights and Saturdays are reserved for family things.
     
  18. waterfall

    waterfall Maven

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2011
    Messages:
    5,849
    Likes Received:
    716

    Sep 26, 2011

    I'm like this too. I almost never make social plans on Sundays anyway, so I prefer to go to school and get all my work done then rather than staying really late during the week. I usually go in on sundays and then don't stay more than an hour after school during the week so I can get to the gym before dinner.
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. vickilyn,
  2. futuremathsprof
Total: 348 (members: 6, guests: 321, robots: 21)
test