Ever Lost Your Temper w/ a Kid?

Discussion in 'Substitute Teachers' started by Ms. I, Feb 2, 2011.

  1. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Feb 2, 2011

    We've probably all done it at some point. Today, I let one boy have it like I never did w/ anyone before. EVERYTHING was a complete joke to this boy. But I don't have time to give him the silent treatment or some other tactic. I work w/ him only 30 min & then he's back to his own room. Here I am being very serious & telling him how he needs to take his learning seriously & he literally laughs & even MOCKS me! I can't recall a time a student did that. Not listening, yes, but MOCKING! :mad:

    The one thing I said that let him know I was serious was when I said I may talk to his classroom teacher Mr. __, then he said sorry a few times quickly. The teachers on either side of my room probably heard me for sure!
     
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  3. John Lee

    John Lee Groupie

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    Feb 2, 2011

    Yesterday!
    It was with a Kinder class who collectively had the attention span of a gnat. I yelled at the whole class, for effect. I was mad, to be sure (it was probably 70/30 mad/effect). But I was trying to get a certain point across (which didn't work btw), as I'm normally known for my calm demeanor.

    It's actually probably the first time I've literally yelled at a student/class... which happened to be (among) the worst days I've worked in during my nine years.
     
  4. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    I am not criticizing teachers who do raise their voice, but IMHO, I don't think it's the best strategy for communicating. I don't raise my voice with my students. I just don't believe in it.
     
  5. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Feb 3, 2011

    TamiJ, I know we had a thread in the General Ed section about raising our voice. I don't like doing it & I very rarely do it, but this one boy I worked w/ today (& will be working w/ once a week probably till the end of the year) just pressed all my buttons this time I guess. Some of these kids get away w/ murder at home & may have hardly ever been yelled at by their own parents, so maybe certain kids need to be yelled at once in a blue moon. This boy is a real smart ass.

    I happen to share today's rm w/ the school psych, so I happened to ask her about this boy & I told her how he behaved w/ me. She said parents are divorced & the dad is like the fun party dad...that doesn't help.
     
  6. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Feb 3, 2011

    I rarely raise my voice in anger with students, and if I do, they know I mean business. I've been thinking about it and looking back over the past several years, the only times I can remember "yelling" is one or two words ("STOP!") to a class or group, then a quiet voice to discuss the problem. My voice tends to get very quiet and 'controlled' when I'm angry. I have never yelled at a student when speaking with them one-on-one (and have never yelled at my own children either).
     
  7. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

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    Lost my temper? Nope. Can honestly say never.

    I go into super-calm and composed mode. My voice changes a bit, but actually gets more quiet.

    But, it has been a long time since I've had a kid try to push my buttons.

    The only time I've yelled is when I stepped between 2 boys about to fight. I always told myself I'd never get in the middle of a fist fight, but when you know the kids it's hard to not step up and stop it.
     
  8. letsteach

    letsteach Comrade

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    Feb 3, 2011

    No screaming, yelling or shouting. I took the student to one side with whom I was very angry and in a very serious and stern voice, in his face asked him why I was angry, what had he done to make me angry. He told me the truth (because all the other kids had seen it happen). A new student had brought peanuts to school despite knowing we had a child in the class who was allergic to peanuts (I had the epi pen in the cupboard for her). This child had offered the girl peanuts while I was dealing with some other students. He was a switched on student, intelligent and knew that she could die, sorry but I was livid. We had had stories of children with allergies and asthma to help the students understand allergies. I had to explain to the mother of the peanut allergy student what had happened to ensure clarity in the story.
     
  9. midwesttchr

    midwesttchr Rookie

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    Feb 4, 2011

    The only time I yell, and am frustrated, is when I need the class's complete attention, and multiple students have been ignoring directions for some time now (i.e. during partner work, and I'd been going to specific groups to keep them focused and calm down, but obviously cannot be all over each group at one time). I'll shut off the lights, do the "if you hear my voice, clap once" routine, and even then - my yelling is mainly a much louder voice than I am used to. I am a soft-spoken person by nature, so for all I know, my yelling is a normal person's speaking voice. :haha: Nonetheless, it's a louder range than they're used to and are more apt to listen. Plus, if it snaps up everyone's attention, my lecture is done quicker and my reminder for what I expect is done in a softer register.

    I've never raised my voice with just one or a few students; when I am super mad, I get quiet, and my eyes do a LOT of talking. Sometimes, I don't even have to speak. They take one look at me and KNOW it's about to go down! ;)
     
  10. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    Well, like I said, I am not criticizing any teacher who does, and I certainly know that students can be challenging. But, I must say, saying that he pushed your buttons is really saying he caused you to yell. I think we should take responsibility of our own actions. You were angry and upset, and because of that you yelled at him (or your voice rose, whichever the case). Personally, I would be upset if a teacher yelled at my daughter because I think it would have negative consequences on their relationship, and the teacher would subsequently become less effective (research shows a huge connection between feeling comfortable and safe, and learning). Therefore, I do not yell and I just don't believe in it. But, I know teachers who do, and while I don't really agree with it, I have bigger fish to fry in my life...
     
  11. Cerek

    Cerek Aficionado

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    Feb 4, 2011

    Ever been frustrated with the kids? More than a few times.

    Ever lost my temper with them? No, I haven't.

    I have yelled at my class or very rare occasions, but it was to shout a short, sharp command to grab their attention after several other attempts had failed. I've only done it once this year (when a girl in the room simply would NOT stop talking to anyone and everyone around her and continued talking while I was trying to explain a problem on the board for another student). I yelled "QUIET!" so loudly and sharply that I actually startled the maintenance man in the next room. It also got the girl's attention (finally) and got her to stop talking. Then I did the same as ku_alum and went into super calm and quiet mode, which drove my point home even more effectively.

    I've never yelled at a class or a student beyond the initial command to stop them in their tracks and get their attention. Like most others, I have found a calm, quiet demeanor is much more effective. In fact, when I had to get onto a class I had subbed for several times at our advanced college, one of the girls turned to me and said "Gee, Mr. Cerek, you sound mad." I said "I am mad at the way this class is behaving because I know you can do better and I expect you to do better." I didn't yell, but my voice was obviously a different tone than I normally use. The class got the message and were worked quietly on their projects the rest of the period.
     
  12. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

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    I think if there are multiple instance of being able to say "a kid pushed my buttons and I reacted" one should consider changing careers. When you sign up to be in a classroom, you sign up to make the most effective learning experience possible for every child (even the smart asses). So much damage is done when a teacher flies off the handle, damage that will likely never be repaired fully which results in a less that effective learning environment. One instance? You learn from it. Multiple? Find a different job.
     
  13. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    I agree with this 100%. I don't think it is effective, but damaging instead.
     
  14. John Lee

    John Lee Groupie

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    Feb 5, 2011

    Perfect teachers here notwithstanding, people are human. And we do sometimes react in less-than ideal ways sometimes. It doesn't make you any less of a teacher.
     
  15. Special-t

    Special-t Enthusiast

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    Feb 5, 2011

    My students tease me about never yelling. I've actually had kids say that I should yell at them because that's the only way to make them listen. I think because I'm older, that it's easier to think twice before losing my temper. I find that as I've matured, I can more easily step back and evaluate a situation before reacting. I will occasionally choose to raise my voice in a stern manner. This is effective because it's so rare that it has shock value.

    I've also come the the conclusion that the kids who are the most aggravating, also don't respond to displays of temper and yelling.

    p.s. I'm nowhere near perfect just because I keep my temper. But it is a quality I'm glad to have.
     
  16. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Feb 5, 2011

    :yeahthat::yeahthat:
    A teacher losing his or her temper says more about the teacher's behavior than the kids'.
     
  17. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    I lost it last week with a little boy at recess. He decided to use the bathroom outside just to be a little stinker. I was so mad at him as he shook himself off in front of 6 little girls. I didn't yell, but my voice was so low and mean he knew he had pushed all the wrong buttons. He is known for doing things for attention.
     

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