Emotional child

Discussion in 'Preschool' started by SamIAm, Nov 18, 2010.

  1. SamIAm

    SamIAm Companion

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    Nov 18, 2010

    I have a child who is very emotional. She blows up very easily over insignificant things, and when I say blows up, I mean something more akin to an inner explosion. Her whole body goes ridged, she balls up her fists, and shakes with anger. Other times she just cries uncontrollably. If she is angry at the other kids, she will get in their face and scream at them, or even growl. She goes from 0-60 in 2 seconds and back again almost as quickly. I really worry about her ability to control her anger. He mom admits that she isn't sure how to handle it either. I am conferencing with her next week to discuss a plan of action for dealing with her behavior - so we're on the same page. Anyway, I would really appreciate some advice on how you all would deal with her, and or any resources I could look at to help me prepare.
    Thanks so much!!
     
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  3. David Brown

    David Brown Rookie

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    Nov 18, 2010

    That sounds intense, I had a student who would blow up throw something and then get over it but had to face the consequences of his brief outburst. Good luck with the progress.
     
  4. Maxadoodle

    Maxadoodle Comrade

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    Nov 18, 2010

    Has her pediatrician been told of this? Perhaps a medical reason should be checked out. Good luck.
     
  5. SamIAm

    SamIAm Companion

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    Nov 18, 2010

    Let me explain a little more... Much of the time she is happy and sweet, but she gets very upset, very easily with little provocation. Often it starts as the angry, shaking thing, then turns into crying and is often over as quickly as it starts. She is incredibly intense, and I think has some emotional baggage, but I'm hesitant to say that it's a "behavioral problem." I do think I need to try to work with her on coping techniques, which is why I've asked for help. I haven't had much experience in this area and can use some help. Her parents seem to be nice people, and her mom is very mellow with her (almost too mellow). I think much of her anger come from a recent move and not seeing her father enough. I do think I will mention it to her mom that she should speak to the ped.
     
  6. Ms.Titwillow

    Ms.Titwillow Rookie

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    Nov 18, 2010

    Sounds like you are describing one of my new girl students (4 yrs)! She flips OUT at the least provocation: I say Let's go down the slide...she says Nobody push anybody! And I reply We're taking turns, nobody is pushing anyone...and then she goes CRAZY screaming I'm ANGRY! I'm ANGRY!!!! while running from the situation and crying/growling/etc. This happened ALL the time. We would ask her to sit on her bottom criss cross and she would get up and say I'm ANGRY and start in on everything running away and hiding. It seems like she thinks she is always in trouble.

    This child complains all the time: her arm hurts if you want her to work on her Montessori job, her hand hurts, her knees are tired, etc..

    So what I do is not cottle her. The other teachers do which I think is sickening. I don't go sugary sweet when she complains of her fake hurts. I just say I'm sorry to hear that and ignore her or give the student next to her praise of what they are doing right.

    I did however, decide to entertain her owie stories for a set period each day. So I told her that every morning I would give her my undivided attention to tell me about her Owie stories (in about a 4 min time frame). This went on for maybe 3 days of hearing her complain and making up weird stories...and then it stopped. We continue to have our morning conversation but it has turned into a bonding one on one time to share!

    This child is adopted, seems to have major baggage, and a freaky over protective older mom that treats her like a guinea pig. For the most part I lavish her with praise for things done right and don't get on her when she has her fits. I simply ignore them. She has made grand improvements in one month's time. She still has fits of crying and running away but she seems to bounce back quicker and has limited saying I'm ANGRY!!!!
     
  7. maggie123

    maggie123 Rookie

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    Nov 21, 2010

    separate

    I use to have a student with anger issues that had "episodes". They were very happy and pleasant when things were going smoothly. Things would turn on a dime for seemingly no reason at all. At first they happened about 5 or 6 times a day. It was scary to the teachers and frightened some children.

    Whenever it happened, they were walked (or carried if necessary) out of the room to be separated from the class. and sat somewhere boring with an adult, until they settled down and was "happy". Not- I'm going to be happy when you let me back,- but already happy. At first this process made them angry. But eventually they got use to it.
    After two months of this, They are to the point of having an episode once every week or two.

    The important part was that they don't get their way, and knowing that angry outburst don't help t hem get their way. Also, they shouldn't be accommodated to keep them from getting angry.
     
  8. beckyeduk8er

    beckyeduk8er Comrade

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    Nov 21, 2010

    I highly encourage both you and the child's family to read the book "Conscious Discipline" by Dr. Becky Baily.

    One aspect that particularly may be helpful is teaching and modeling taking deep breathes to help your body feel "calm". We have several deep breaths that we practice. We do them before read a story, walk in the hallway, or are feeling sad, angry.
    Also creating a “safe place” in your classroom where the child can go when they feel upset to calm down may help the child learn composer.


    you can see some clips for her DVD here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqoFHnJWFiQ&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL
     
  9. HappyLearning

    HappyLearning Rookie

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    Nov 21, 2010

    Are you familar with the Second Step curriculum? It's designed to teach preschoolers to manage their emotions. Even without the curriculum, maybe you could teach the child some specific techniques for claming down-- slow deep breaths or belly breathing, counting out loud, closing eyes and thinking about something happy, etc. Does your school work with a behavioral health (counselor) she could possibly be referred? It very well could stem from emotional difficulties outside of school. As the mother of two adopted children with some early trauma, I can tell you that the feeling or rejection can manifest itself in many different ways. :(
     
  10. puff5655

    puff5655 Cohort

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    Nov 24, 2010

    I second the Second Step curriculum. It's wonderful. There is another book I really like that I can't think of the name of right now. I'll add it later.

    Maybe this is due to an unstable situation, but maybe it's just her personality. One thing I've learned is to accept kids for who they are, not to try to change them as a person. Lots of adults in the world are emotional and get along just fine. It would be boring if we were all the same.

    This doesn't mean you can't teach her alternatives of how to handle these strong emotions, though. Give her words to use- "I don't like that," "I'm mad." Teach her to stamp her foot hard when she says these things- that way she can get across how she's feeling without hurting/scaring anybody. Point out how others feel when she screams in their faces. Get across that it's OKAY to feel angry or sad, but it's NOT okay to hurt others (physically or emotionally) when you feel this way.
     
  11. scmom

    scmom Enthusiast

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    Nov 24, 2010

    A book I would recommend is Parenting the Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurchinka. It talks about different temperament types of children and parents and how to work with them.
     

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