So I was all set to get a microwave for my room so I would never have to leave it (I already have a mini-fridge), when I read on another post that a lot of first year teachers avoided the lounge only to find they lacked friends later. I know this is true and I should visit the lounge from time to time so they know I'm alive, etc. At the same time, small talk drives me insane and I'd rather use the time planning or working. Don't want to alienate myself though. Guess I'll suck it up and eat there for a few weeks. Er... just talking out loud.
I never ate in the lounge. Since our grade level teams are large, between 7 and 8 per grade, many grade levels ate in the pods that connected classrooms. I guess it would be similar to eating in the lounge.
Why don't you use the micro in the teachers' lounge then eat in your room most days? You can chat with the other teachers while your food is cooking or while you are waiting in line to cook your food and still have some time to yourself. Every so often, you could spend longer in the lounge- if you wanted.
I have always eaten in the lounge, or at least poked my head in to heat up food just to say hi and see what was going on with everyone. My first year I ate with 2 other kinder teachers, but not in the lounge.
This is what I did last year, it's pretty much what all of the 5-8 teachers did at my school, so I would have been eating in the lounge by myself if I ate in there. It worked out well for me to walk with the kids to the cafeteria, then cook my food in the micro and chat with the others who were grabbing their food, then go back to my classroom to eat and grade papers, prepare lessons, surf the net, etc.
My principal asks (tho doesn't require) all of us to eat in the lounger as much as possible. It's a small school, though, 2 or 3 classes per grade, so I would think if you ate with your big grade group that would also work. The small talk can get old, but I'm a big believer in the value of building a staff community - and lunch helps that. A few years ago i worked on a multi-age team of 5 teachers, and 2 of them went off on their own and always ate in their rooms and it became a very divided group - that, I believe, negatively impacted the way we taught and spilled over way beyond lunch. I think if you can force yourself to eat with the group at least a couple days a week you're better off....
I agree, it can look bad especially for a first-year teacher in a small school if they skip the lounge. Such was the case with a couple first-year teachers we had this past year and we ended up with a divided staff. When we saw them in the halls, they appeared to us as strangers we didn't even know, and no one felt comfortable approaching them about anything.
As an old war horse May I suggest that you do not eat by yourself, you will find you need the adult time, remember you are "Trapped" with students the rest of the time you will find it a helpful break. also you get to hear what is going on at the school some of it will be gossip but I am sure you will filter it out
I agree IrishDave, they always told us in teacher ed in college never, ever to eat in the teacher's lounge. "You'll be bombarded with gossip and horror stories about the students," was the mantra. I found it to be somewhat therapeutical! When I would have a rough morning, it helped so much to know that other teachers were going through the exact same thing. Many times they were able to offer advice on how to deal with this particiular student. Other times, I learned of events going on in kids' lives that were affecting the way they were behaving at school. That little edge that you can gain in the lounge can leave you one step ahead of the curve and you will benefit because of it! You'll already know what to expect.
I ate with my team last year. I didn't want to get wrapped up in school gossip. I would microwave my food in the lounge, and chat with the other teachers while I waited. I found that to go smoothly. It worked for me.
This past year (my first year), I ate with one of my co-workers where we caught up and just chatted. I did swing to the teachers' lounge once in a while (such as when she was absent). The knew most of the teachers down there, and one of them even commented how she thought it was disappointing how the new teachers didn't eat in the lounge. I did make it a point to eat there once in a while. I will try to get down there once a week next year. I work in a large school, and so eating in the lounge offers an opportunity to get to know some other teachers, and just generally interact with a larger crowd!
During my first student teaching placement, I ate in the teacher's lounge because the grade level team ate together in the lounge with the paras and other staff. That's just simply the way the school interacted and I absolutely loved it. Small talk can get old, but I think it's important, especially as a first year teacher, to make attempts to form relationships that will go beyond small talk. Remember, it will be small talk at first and it will more than likely develop into something more meaningful if you make an effort. It will be my first year of teaching this upcoming school year and I definitely plan to eat in the teacher's lounge from day one. I don't want my colleagues to get a wrong impression and I do want to make connections with them. They will never get to know you if you don't give them opportunities!
It's a fine line between community and gossip group. I only ate in there because I needed to get out of my room for my sanity's sake, and my best friend and I ate together. We left as soon as we were done, though, and tried not to get sucked into the gossip.
my kids always ask to eat with me but I let them know that I need adult time. I let them know that they should play with theirs and I need to be with mine. I always eat at the lounge, I love it. I didn't for the first few months, now I can't. I love talking with the other teachers, they are very close friends to me and I really enjoy their company
my kids always ask to eat with me but I let them know that I need adult time. I let them know that they should play with theirs and I need to be with mine. I always eat at the lounge, I love it. I didn't for the first few months, now I can't. I love talking with the other teachers, they are very close friends to me and I really enjoy their company
I agree. I'd recommend eating in the lounge at least twice per week. If it seems too gossipy, go in there to heat up your food or buy something from the vending machine and chat it up with the other teachers in there for a bit, then go back to your room.
If it is all gossip try and direct the conversation toward things like teaching methods, classroom games, how to deal with parents, ADHD, ask them what what was the prevailing wisdom in the college setting then and offer what is now (if you are new). Dave is right about talking to adults some.
My first year teaching, we had to eat with the students so I didn't have the dilemma. From then on, (I moved out of state) I have eaten in the lounge only because my room was too far to walk back to (by the time I would have gotten back and settled to eat, it would be time to get the kids). This next year (I've moved again) I will have to eat with the kids again. From my experience, the sweetest people are the ones who stay away from the lounge, keep to themself, and stay out of the gossip.
It wasn't a gossip issue for me--you definitely need to release some steam sometimes. However, IMO, find one or two close friends to vent to, not the whole group (at least your first year). You're establishing an identity. Do you want to be known as the constant complainer? I was a first year teacher who stayed 3-4 hours after contract time ended for the first half of the year. Part of my way to fix that was to utilize every free moment I had during the day to get stuff done for the next day (including lunch). So while I was alienating myself, I was becoming more of an efficient teacher. I could eventually leave right at 3pm like the veteran teachers nearly every day. So I'm a better teacher now...but I have few friends.
I have always had lunch in the lounge. It has helped me to get closer to my co-workers. I also can ask for advice from other teachers.
We have to all eat together. We actually have a "working lunch" a couple days a week and have staff meetings at that time. I don't mind the eating together thing, but there are definitely people I feel left out around. Fortunately, one of the people has quit and now only subs on occasion. So I only feel left out like that once in awhile. At my former school I avoided the staff room at all costs. I think I only went there once or twice. I ate with a couple other teachers in one classroom, or went out to lunch and used my time that way, then ate in my classroom. It was a pretty horrible situation in that staff room- lots of complaining and whining.
We don't have a lounge, and if you gossip or talk negatively in the hall and it gets back to the principal, you will catch heck later!!!! I try to use my breaks to do as much work as possible. I may find a friend to share a quick laugh, but then I quickly get back into my classroom.
I take turns eating in the lounge with teachers and eating in the cafeteria with teachers and students. The lounge group is more of a gossipy group, the cafeteria group isn't gossipy (students are not usually at our table, but near by) and discussions are more "positive." Usually an admin on lunch duty will join us towards the end of the lunch. I find sharing my time across these 2 groups the best for me ...
I think you should take some time to eat in the lounge and get to know other teachers. Just stay out of the gossip. It's okay to take some time for yourself occasionally, too.
I just graduated from college and began a long-term sub position at this school...I can be very shy at first, but I will say that I ate in the faculty lounge almost everyday. Yes, there is A LOT of gossip, but I stay out of it. It is nice to take a breather from the day, get out of the classroom and sit back and chit chat. I was able to build so many relationships in those 3 months I was at the school because I made myself more approachable by eating in the staff lounge. Sounds silly, but it will look like you're alienating yourself if you "mole up" and avoid the lounge. I do think your intentions are good! I was the same way. Why sit and waste 1/2 an hr talking when I can get so much done in the classroom while eating. I noticed it was a good time to breath and get out of the classroom for 1/2 an hr!
As a sub, I could care less about eating in the lounge. I don't really eat at lunch time anyway, usually water, chips, & fruit is all I bring. But, I always told myself that when I get hired, I need to get in there (the lounge) & talk w/ people. Well, when I got hired, I ate in the lounge less times than the total fingers on one hand all school yr. It's not that I'm anti-social. I'm the sweetest, nicest person you'd ever know. I just get sick of people talking all around me, looking at me as if to say, "What are you doing here."
The "collaboration" time during lunch is priceless I think I was the first to mention gossip "Not all gossip is bad" hearing some gossip can give you a heads up on who to listen to and who to be "just polite" to. Just don't repeat gossip! You have to turn up your BS Detector on high. Gossip is part of every job don't let it keep you from adult contact When I was a sub I used the lounge to network to get more assignments I would leave my Business card and shmooze teachers so they would request me to sub for them.
Practically the entire seventh grade team eats together in the lounge every single day. We rarely gossip; mostly our conversations revolve around what's going on in our lives, books we've read, movies we've seen, vacations we've taken. Most of us have young children, so we spend a lot of time talking about parenting issues. I need that adult time during my day. I make it very clear to both my students and their parents that I am available before and after school, but that my lunch time is not available for meetings or extra help.
NO I am the sweetest, nicest person you'd ever know .... I am a grandfather! :lol: Just ask my granddaughter :up:
I always eat in the lounge. We have a great group, Art teacher, music teacher, & reg. classroom teachers. The conversation is mostly intellectual, we talk about novels we've read, movies, current events... it's a great break from being w/children all day. You learn about your colleagues here, their families, heart aches, & joys. These are the people you spend the best part of your day with and life with. Most of them are worthy to know better. If you have a hard gossip group, stay away. No one wants to be associated with that.
Nobody at my school eats in the lounge. We eat in our own classrooms. Sometimes we'll eat with our team but most often it is a time to check email, make phone calls, etc.
YES, YES, YES!!! I so hate that too. Unfortunate, I found out that I can't have a microwave or frig in my room. I won't mind going into the lounge but would not like to make it a daily thing. I've already had to participate in conversations of things that I'm not into or care to examine such as if you could be one of the characters of the Wizard of OZ who would you be an why? (ughh) Sorry I know there are teachers that get into this sort of stuff but it's just not me. Perhaps a year from now, I'll have undergone a major transformation & will accept this as everyday conversations but in the mean time --- I can see times ahead where I will have to deal with it & cringe inward.
Well I know what you guys mean about the gossip mill and also the folks that stare at you and think "What are YOU doing here?" Every lounge is different though. My first student teaching lounge was H O R R I D. There was a tiny square table for umpteen teachers and I remember one of them talking about my favorite student and saying, "Oh I was hoping they were moving out of the district." And they all laughed. I didn't eat in there again. The next school was a lot better. I met a gal who was a big talker and asked me every personal question under the sun. :lol: Never ate in there again either. heh But again, those were student teaching experiences and I didn't really care. Now that I'm a hired teacher and part of a community, I think I'll just test the ol' lounge waters for awhile. Helps that there's 10 other new hires there!
My first school had a great lounge. You would always crane your neck in while walking past to see if anyone had brought in food-there were always left over party goodies, home made baked goods, etc. We would have fun theme potlucks and Fridays were pizza days-throw $3 in for all you can eat. My last school didn't have a lounge. I tried to make one in the copy area, but someone moved the table and chairs out and I felt that was a sign. It was. They didn't want community there. I'm hoping my next school has a nice lounge. They have a nice kitchen area that I could see from the office, so I hope it's a nice meeting area. We eat with the kids, but it's still nice to stop in the morning or leave cookies for others. I'm big into free food, even if I have to be the one to leave it.
Our Fire marshal did not let microwaves or fridges in classrooms so I built my mini-fridge and microwave into some old shop lockers (remember I was a shop teacher) if you ever have seen "trick my truck" on CMT, I did it a little like they do, No one knew I had it there, I kept mostly water, my lunch and soda in the mini-fridge.
Wow, I had no idea there was so much politics surrounding where one ate lunch. I always eat lunch in my classroom. Except when I'm pregnant. Then I make sitting down and putting my feet up and eating a nourishing lunch more of a priority. And after my son was born, I was pumping milk in my room and downing a very quick lunch. Now I eat in my room while checking email, then set up centers or do whatever work I need to get done. I think I get along fine with everyone at school and we have good comraderie. Although, who knows? Maybe it's me they gossip about. :lol:
Last year (my first year) I ate lunch the first half of the year in the staff room. There was a lot of gossip, and I felt left out because many of the teachers who had been there a long time banded together and kept to themselves. I'm a relatively shy person in groups, so it wasn't easy for me to make small talk or engage in the conversation. The second half of the year I ate with my neighbor teacher and 1 other teacher in her classroom; I was able to engage more and have more conversation, but I felt isolated and as though other people thought I was too good to have lunch in the staff lounge, etc. This year, our lunch arrangments/times/grade levels changed, and I ate lunch in the staff lounge all year. It wasn't necessarily better, although I've made several closer friends this year, but I struggle to make small talk and would prefer to spend my lunchtime getting work done or relaxing in my room. I create and maintain good professional relationships with my colleagues other times during the day, so I'm not worried about trying to do that during lunch. I'll probably eat in the staff room again next year, although I'll heat up my food, eat my food quickly and quietly, and head back to my room to get work done.
