Dumb Husband

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out Archives' started by FarFromHome, Aug 4, 2007.

  1. patti2

    patti2 Cohort

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    Aug 8, 2007


    yeah Irish Dave!!!! say some more!:p
     
  2. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Aug 11, 2007

    Ok
    Nine words Women Use

    1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they think they are right and you need to shutup.

    2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only three minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

    3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

    4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

    5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

    6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

    7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

    8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying <blank> YOU!

    9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.
     
  3. patti2

    patti2 Cohort

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    Aug 11, 2007

    Ha! IrishDave-I enjoy your sense of humor!
     
  4. kabd54

    kabd54 Cohort

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    Aug 12, 2007

    I don't care - just hang the darn thing!!! :mad:

    My holder isn't even a spring loaded one, just a plain hook type that you slide the roll on. But somehow, the roll just ends up sitting on the vanity in a small pool of water beside the sink. Sigh. :huh:
     
  5. patti2

    patti2 Cohort

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    Aug 12, 2007

    kabd54-I actually rounded up my 3 kids and DH to give a demonstration(through gritted teeth!) on that very thing. To this day, I am STILL the only one who "knows" how to do it! arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
     
  6. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Aug 12, 2007

    OMG I wonder what your family meetings are like?
    :2up: :2up: :2up: :up: :up: :up: :toofunny: :down: :toofunny: :2up: :2up: :2up: :up: :up: :up:
     
  7. Ponypal

    Ponypal Comrade

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    Aug 17, 2007

    I almost wet myself reading everyones posts.

    Recently, my husband put Desitin (diaper rash ointment) on our son's face. Should I be happy for the effort, or should I order him some hooked on phonics? I guess I could get an anotomically correct doll and model the desired behavior, letting him practice on that... He really was trying to do the right thing.
     
  8. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Aug 17, 2007

    Did the kid have a rash on his face? enough said. I bet his rash went away?
     
  9. Ponypal

    Ponypal Comrade

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    Aug 18, 2007

    He had some dry skin. I wasn't mad, I was too tired to say anything so I let it go. It wasn't dry when the diaper lotion was on him, thats for sure. (So.. it does work on the face too?) It is kind've funny.
     
  10. terptoteacher

    terptoteacher Connoisseur

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    Aug 18, 2007

    Desitn on the face is better than in the mouth!!! My mom was visiting and wasn't paying attention when she brushed her teeth! You gusessed it!!! Desitin on the toothbrush! :eek:


    Actually, my daughter had a spit rash and we put A &D ointment on it. It didn't cure the rash, but it did protect it from getting wetter from the drool.

    Dry skin? try Aveeno lotion! my daughter had execma and really really dry skin. I put this lotion on every other day for a couple weeks and her skin was as smooth as a baby's _____. :wub:
     
  11. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    Aug 18, 2007

    When we were first married, I was already a whiz at out talking him and thus winning the arguement by sheer persistence. He's much better now. Unfortunately I trained him too well. But his favorite argument, since I couldn't be wrong....

    Hubby: It's your fault.
    Me: It's sooo not my fault (getting riled).
    Hubby: Then it must be your momma's fault.
    Me: How on earth it is my momma's fault?
    Hubby: Well, it can't be your fault so I have to blame somebody and she gave birth to you. So it's her fault instead.

    So every once in a while now when he wants to be humorous, he will just skip right over it and say "It's your momma's fault."
     
  12. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Aug 20, 2007

    what's a spit rash?? that dry crusty look on a kid's face who's been slobbering alot??? :)
     
  13. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Aug 20, 2007

    what happens when we just say,

    "Yep, you are right."

    They get the dumbest look on their face! and they say something else anyway! Got to have the last word!

    "Yeah, uh..like I said!"
     
  14. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Aug 20, 2007

    Thank God you finally have come to your senses!

    How do you know a woman is going to say something smart?

    She starts by saying " A man told me ......."
    :toofunny: :rofl: :D :toofunny: :rofl: :D :toofunny: :rofl: :D

     
  15. Ponypal

    Ponypal Comrade

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    Aug 20, 2007

    Does it goes like... "A man told me that a woman is always right.":)
     
  16. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Aug 20, 2007

    you know, I may be hijacking here..but I truly believe that couples should make some attempt to stay somewhat true to their original lifestyles and habits when you first met, and fell in love.

    I should not be responsible for a husband who commits suicide by eating like a pig, drinking a six pack a day, and last but not least, smoking weed or angel dust on the weekends. Also, they should have at least an ounce of common sense. You can pretend to be silly, but I expect you to have a high school diploma.

    Men complain about women losing their figure. hey, we all are getting older, and if you look around, that is something that happens in some form another. With or without children, the woman's body goes thru changes.

    Men's bodies change too, but I can't help but complain that they sabatoge our efforts for healthy lifestyles and increase their efforts to an early death. Also, they should not play mad scientist and mix cleaning products!

    I want to be a wife, not a caretaker. Maybe that's why I am still single now.. I am pickier about my men than I am about my jobs!

    soapbox ...early today...:soapbox:

    back to the thread...

    My ex was so dumb..

    He would keep leftovers for days, and then toss everything thing in one plate and heat it up...YEESH. Yes, and then he would get sick, and I would have to cook more food that he wanted to get him back to health.

    He would save empty medicine bottles, and put other medicines inside. Got a bad reaction from drug, I had to bring him back to life. And he turns around and gets sick again, and I have to discover that he had put advil in this old medicine bottle! ARRRGHHH!!!

    He refused to do the laundry on his week. So, to make me mad, he would shrink my pants, and put the clothes on Fluff on the dryer cycle, and they would never get dry. "I thought Fluff meant it would make them fluffy." he says. I got grabbed towels, dumped them back in dryer, and said, now go back when they are done!

    I even saw him attempt to mix the soap, Downy and bleach all together in one glass...and said that takes less time.

    I started leaving the house when he did the laundry. I also made sure my State Farm insurance was paid up!
     
  17. Major

    Major Connoisseur

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    Aug 20, 2007

    Dumb Wives??


    Just curious........ without doing a search......... have there ever been any "dumb wives" threads???:D :D :D :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

    Major.......:lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  18. moonbeamsinajar

    moonbeamsinajar Habitué

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    Aug 20, 2007

    No, because they do not exist. I believe that the term "dumb wife" would be an oxymoron.:D
     
  19. Major

    Major Connoisseur

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    Dont exist???......... well that explains that........:D :D

    Now I understand what my wife has been telling me for years.........:D :D :D

    Major
     
  20. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Aug 20, 2007

    Welcome aboard Major you can see what we are up against.
     
  21. Major

    Major Connoisseur

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    Aug 20, 2007

    :D

    Thanks Dave...... I love being outnumbered............:D :D :D

    And of course as men we know we are right........... right??

    Major
     
  22. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Aug 20, 2007

    Yep
     
  23. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Aug 21, 2007


    :clap: :clap: :clap:
     
  24. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Aug 21, 2007

    The only dumb wife you will find is the one who thought she had taken a husband only to find out she has a son!

    The dumber wife is the one has children with this man! "Maybe when we have kids he will be more responsible."

    Now she has two sons!

    Neither one will ever leave the house!
     
  25. Music Doc

    Music Doc Habitué

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    Sep 14, 2007

    Hmmmmmmmm.......just a thought......try setting up a thread about "dumb (fill in the blank)".....OTHER than men......and we'll start the "time til the ACLU contacts you" timer! LOLOL
     
  26. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Sep 14, 2007

    ok...

    How about dumb employers....

    sent via email--

    "please reconsider your position with us. We realize we have not paid you and you need your paycheck, but we will not get funding if we don't have a certified teacher!"

    Hmmm...so you have not paid me, and you know I am going to quit, and I have not returned, and you have not called me..

    and this is the email I get?? :confused:
     
  27. Music Doc

    Music Doc Habitué

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    Ok, THAT one definitely takes the cake......did they REALLY send you that????? OMG!!!!
     
  28. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Sep 14, 2007

    yes, follow my other threads...PAYDAY and no PAY and Job without Pay.
     
  29. Music Doc

    Music Doc Habitué

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    It's amazing what people will do.....simply amazing.
     
  30. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Sep 14, 2007

    yes, I have more comments in my NCLB Hate it or Love It thread...we are debating the issue of standardized tests...

    My ex could not pass Piaget's test of number conservation...

    I moved most my clothes out of the closet, and when he noticed, I said..."Oh, no I didn't take out any clothes...I just spread them out" :confused:
     
  31. Music Doc

    Music Doc Habitué

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    Sep 14, 2007

    Almost as a good as my ex-wife who decided we needed to divorce based on the Dave Mason song "We Just Disagree."
     

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