Dumb Husband

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out Archives' started by FarFromHome, Aug 4, 2007.

  1. FarFromHome

    FarFromHome Connoisseur

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    My husband always thinks he's right about things. We saw a little girl who's a daughter of someone from his shop (he's military) tonight. He asks me if she's around 3rd grade, since that's what I just got hired to teach. She was nowhere near!! I told him maybe kindergarten. Of course when he asked, they told him she's going into preschool. He's done the same thing with girls he thought were 18, but were actually 15. (He was trying to hook up his friend with the girl.) I'm not even good at guessing people's ages, but I don't know how he could possibly be that far off! At least he's entertaining most of the time!
     
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  3. loves2teach

    loves2teach Enthusiast

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    That is totally something my dh would do. He always thinks he is right. It makes me laugh my fanny off when he isn't.
     
  4. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    If he doesn't work around kids he just doesn't have the parameters by which to judge their ages..do you have kids? How much time does he spend around kids? I'm notoriously bad about judging grown up's ages- I can usually guess if they are younger or older than me but I'm not good at guessing an age for them...doesn't mean you are dumb though...:eek:
     
  5. bandnerdtx

    bandnerdtx Aficionado

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    :lol: I laughed so hard when I read the title of this thread... I could just hear you mumbling it! Mine is okay with ages, but my GOD, I've had to reintroduce teachers that I've worked with for YEARS to him more times than I can count. GEEZ! :eek: Fortunately, they are all understanding because their husbands aren't much better.
     
  6. FarFromHome

    FarFromHome Connoisseur

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    I don't really think he's dumb! He really doesn't have any way of knowing how old kids are, it's the fact that he still thinks he's right-with no basis for comparison-that's funny!
     
  7. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Let's face it, we've been saying there is something in the fertilizer for years! Kids are humungous these days.

    I had a 4 year old in pre-k who I swear looked like he was in 3rd grade.

    And the clothing is so provocative, and not gender specific anymore. Don't get me started on boys in pink shirts! :p

    My speciality was remembering everyone's age, and clothing size. So my ex would drag me down to the mall on Christmas Eve at 9pm and say, "What do you think?" :eek: "Will it fit him/her??"

    Thank God for gift cards!!!

    As far as grown ups go..I truly believe a little weight, glasses, and a somewhat intelligent conversation tends to indicate an older age.

    Everyone else is probably 20 something! That's a good answer.

    Unless you are female and have a full head of gray hair, and a gown down to your toes!

    Some older guys are in denial, and they dress like the young guys. Ewww..this is not cool, or cute.

    I can't see dating anyone 10 years older than me. At this rate, even 5 years older than me.

    Geez, people my age look 20 years older than me.

    Maybe it's just me. I'm 48. I'm supposed to be flattered when people call me 'girl', 'honey' or 'dear'. "I wouldn't tell anyone I was that old, you look great!"

    I guess I should have eaten more, drank more, took up smoking, gambling, and had a bit more stress! :unsure:
     
  8. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Aug 5, 2007

    Half empty ?
    Maybe his glass is half full
    After you came into his life he can't compare anyone to you at any age his love for you clouds his thoughts. :D
     
  9. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    Laughing, nice DAVE.

    Far,
    At least your DH doesn't leave a trail of sand and food every where he goes.
     
  10. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    He he he... I'm good aint I:D
     
  11. kinder4me

    kinder4me Comrade

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    My husband can't remember people or names either!!! It drives me nuts!
     
  12. nancyb

    nancyb Companion

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    Oh, Irish Dave, say some more...... I think I'm in love.....:love:
     
  13. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Dumb husband...:rofl: :rofl:
     
  14. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Lucky it is a short drive:toofunny:
     
  15. leighbball

    leighbball Virtuoso

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    I'm not good with ages either usually. But I think its because I look young. I'm 26 but the other day the lately in the dollar store had to ask me if I was over 18 when I bought a utility knife. She said she needed to be sure because the machine beeped :rolleyes:
     
  16. bandnerdtx

    bandnerdtx Aficionado

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    .... HEY!!!!!!....it's true... what can I say:p
     
  17. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Just consider me the check valve on comments about men

    If I let you "gals" go you'll have us men wearing speedos, mowing your lawns and fixing your car.

    BTW did I tell you that the internet has improved my life?
    Before the internet I was 5'2" bald fat and ugly Now with the internet I am 6'2",, have Long blonde hair Blue eyes, a fantastic lover and I sell fake Butter.
     
  18. kinderkids

    kinderkids Virtuoso

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    I can't believe it's not butter!:rolleyes:
     
  19. kabd54

    kabd54 Cohort

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    I actually had some young thing at the checkout ask me if I were a senior citizen. Didn't know whether to be upset or lie so I could get the discount!! :lol: Must have been all that intelligent conversation.

    As far as the DH - he usually pegs peoples' ages right on. Makes me nuts... hate it when he's mostly right....;)
     
  20. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    I have always looked older. Back when they just looked at you to sell beer I could buy it (even tho I hated it) I was very popular I could buy it and drive everybody home! My first wife was a month older than I was but she would get carded until we were 28, me never. Now with the senior citizen rates if they say "senior?" I say yes.

    But can I tell how old women are? No way!
    now middle school aged kids I got that nailed!
     
  21. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    Why do you always say something that makes me laughing and my tea comes out my nose.
     
  22. terptoteacher

    terptoteacher Connoisseur

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    My husband is always wrong. I'm always right. Well, ok, most of the time I"m right. He'll argue with me and eventually he'll be stating my original point as if it was his all along. :haha:

    I just want to get a shrit printed up that says, "I am not responsible for my husbands odors or actions.":eek:
     
  23. nicegirl

    nicegirl Comrade

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    I know this was about ages, but my husband is umm, dumb sometimes. I recently went home (to San Antonio, live in Houston) to spend some time with some family. I was at my aunt's house and decided to text my husband to see what he was upto while we were in the middle of watching a DVD.

    Me: Hey, what are you upto?
    Him: Not much. Just got home. Where are you at?
    Me: I'm at my aunt's watching a DVD.
    Him: What are you watching?
    Me: One Night with the King
    Him: One night with Elvis??

    I burst out laughing out loud in the middle of the movie and had to explain, we all cracked up. Dumb husbands, you can't do anything, but love em!!
     
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2007
  24. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Elvis is not the King?

    Omar Sharif & Peter O'Toole are the only two names I could recognized.

    Goodness it went to DVD on Jan-30-2007 only after a October 10, 2006 premiere (117 days) now had it been the epic "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby" which premiered August 4, 2006 and did not go to DVD till Dec 12, 2006 a fantastic 130 days the man might have know it
    :D
     
  25. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  26. kinder4me

    kinder4me Comrade

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    You got it!!!!:rofl:
     
  27. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    You gals need to read
    "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger
    Now in Paperback only $13.95:wow:
    Before you say anything bad about Dr. Laura read one of her books.

    I know you are having fun but someone has to stand up for us men. Just ask my wife she said I could.
    :toofunny: :rofl:
     
  28. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Best argument with my ex.. me in quotes:

    "It must be my fault, because we all know you never do anything wrong!"

    Exactly.

    "You never do ANYTHING!!!"

    What?

    "You never do anything, you always get me to do it. You're too doggone paranoid to even ask a question!"

    Para - who??

    "You are too broke to pay attention!"

    Well at least I can keep a job.

    "Yes, and you can have that job and the last word too, because it usually doesn't matter, just like your job, they just want to keep you because you make their quota. You are the 1MB"

    But that makes me smarter than you! Hey, who you calling a B??

    "Are you serious??. You know, I should start acting like you, and do less!"

    :confused:

    So, like you said...it's your fault!!!
     
  29. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    I am still trying to figure out what "1MB" means
    one mean boy
    one mean B**tard
    one mean Black
    one more Bozo
    one more boy
    one more bureaucrat

    But them again I am a man so I don't have to know :2up: :rofl: :toofunny:
     
  30. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    That's what they all say!
     
  31. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    no, being a man, it figures that you don't know!!:lol: but you are awfully darn close!!! "M" stands for Male silly! Actually he is everything but your last answer!!

    this is the stuff the put on the I-9 employment forms to make sure each company is following federal fair hiring guidelines.

    women have been second class citizens for years!
    On my forms, I am a 2FB

    When my personnel folder is being tossed around, I know right away because I see that code!!! Needless to say, I have a few choice words for all of those characters!!:whistle:

    Point is, my ex was too dumb to qualify for a job...he got in by default.

    sigh....

    back to the thread....
     
  32. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    The Shoe is on the other foot

    Yesterday I dried towels, 2 loads, truthfully one of the few time I forgot to clean out the lint trap between loads (I am a clean before you dry and my wife is clean after you dry)
    I am always getting on the kids for not cleaning out the trap (when there is a "rug" with 3 layers coming out what can you say?) when My wife cleared the screen she chided me about getting on the Kids
    I replied "99 out of a hundred times I clean it"
    she said "that the same with the kids, you just catch them every time they do laundry" we both had a good laugh
     
  33. mrs100

    mrs100 Comrade

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    You guys are hilarious! But I've got you all topped. I actually call my husband "The Expert on Everything". It used to mostly apply to cooking (he's clueless), laundry (please...), and teaching (no idea), but now that we've decided to start trying to get pregnant, it's gotten SO hilarious.
    We went to my doctor for an exam and to ask some questions, and I'm ready for my 'exam', how fun. He actually asked the doctor if he could see my ovaries. Uh... I'm laughing, and my poor doctor says, "Uh, no, they don't actually hang outside the body". I was laughing to hard! At least there's ONE thing I know I'M the expert on!
     
  34. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Have you guys seen the new T-Mobile cell phone commercial?? They are too funny, but they usually pick on husbands the most. :lol:

    There is this dad, talking with his 3 kids and wife, and they each have cell phones. He says, "We all have T-Mobile now, so we can each pick 5 faves...so, that means a total of 26 people."

    The son says, "Dad, that's 25.

    The Dad says, "That's so sad, it's 26."

    The daughter says, "Dad, there are five of us, if we each pick 5 people that is 25."

    The Dad says, "Close, you carry the 9...it's 26." and he walks away.

    The Mom says, "Kids, this is why I am going back to school!'

    Dad yells back, "Listen to your mother, stay in school."

    :rofl: :rofl:
     
  35. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Poor Mrs100...please register for the new parents, expectant parents, cesearan parents, and parenting class ASAP!!! That hubby needs to be in every class you can find!! :p

    Stay dry and cool...it's raining and storming...and still hot here in Chicago!!!
     
  36. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    ok, how do I stop the lint fiend in the condo!!! :confused: We have no trash can there. Everyone is supposed to clean up their own mess, wipe off soap, etc. Somebody thinks we want their blue fuzz!

    Let me leave somebody's lint sitting on top of the dryer!

    YOU know they will start to blame all the lint on me for sure!!!
     
  37. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    This seams like the best place to ask this.

    How do you hang your toilet paper? Over or Under

    Before you vote remember If you have toddlers or cats, you should hang it in the "under" position - it doesn't unroll as easily.

    49% of folks hang it with the paper dangling over the top.
    24% hang it with the paper dangling at the back.
    14% of folks say that they hang it whichever way they can get it on the roll the fastest.
    12% ain't got no toilet paper holder.
    1% said, "Daggum, I'm a guy! I don't know how to change that toilet paper thang!"
    Less than 1% (actually 0.03%) doesn't know what toilet paper is.
     
  38. mrs100

    mrs100 Comrade

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    Oh, believe me, he'll be taking some crash courses. We have one out by us called Daddy Boot Camp. He's going... twice. This heat is unbearable! Our A/C is broken at our school so we're getting our rooms ready with a lot of heat!
     
  39. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Being a guy and thinking like one, maybe he was expecting an ultrasound pic or some kind of TV shot like when they do a colonoscopy. just a thought :unsure:
     
  40. mrs100

    mrs100 Comrade

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    I appreciate you trying to give my husband some credit, but the doctor was just, um, using his gloved hand for the exam. That's okay, his innocence on these issues is adorable and makes me laugh.
     
  41. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    over is the only way Dave

    It takes too doggone long to start it if you have it under.

    In the middle of the night, you can never catch it.

    cats and kids just need to leave it alone!

    the double rolls get stuck
    the perfumey rolls may be giving you a rash...ewww did I say that?

    I got a new, elegant silver toliet paper roll holder, for three extras. I got class now, I am a homeowner!
     

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