Dreams of being a teacher... but hubby says no

Discussion in 'General Education' started by mr22, Jul 18, 2016.

  1. mr22

    mr22 New Member

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    Jul 18, 2016

    Good Morning, I hope that it is okay to post in this thread although I am not a current teacher. I have my Bachelor's degree and have signed up to get my teacher certification as a career change (need to take the test). However, I still can not talk my husband into letting me become a teacher. Its a huge pay cut for me, but I absolutely hate my job and hate being away from my 4 kids so much. I want to have the same schedule as them, take them to school, pick them up and be home w them during the summer. Teaching has always been a dream of mine, but I just chose a different path about 10 years ago and have not been able to get back to what I want to do. I now have 4 kids and I am at a different place in my life where money is not everything to me. I would take a 1/2 salary pay cut if I do this. I am still trying to get my certification & I have 12 hours toward my masters which if I get it, then that will be a few thousand more a year in teacher salary, but is there any other ways to make extra money so that I can finally do what I have always wanted and become a teacher? Thanks in advance for any help.
     
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  3. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Jul 18, 2016

    What specifically is your husband against? Is it the pay cut? You may need to sit down and discuss an adjusted budget.
     
  4. mr22

    mr22 New Member

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    Jul 18, 2016

    Yes, he loves money :( and it will cause us to slow down a lot and do a lot of things differently but it is something I am willing to do but he is not so I am trying to find ways to supplement extra income.
     
  5. Teachertimes

    Teachertimes Rookie

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    Jul 18, 2016

    I just want to caution you that you will not really have the same schedule as your kids. I miss out on things with my kids because I work a ton of hours.

    This seems to be something that maybe a marriage counselor or therapist can help you discuss with your husband. My husband was super supportive and I couldn't have done it without him.
     
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  6. jadorelafrance

    jadorelafrance Cohort

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    Jul 18, 2016

    Coaching, co-curricular activities (clubs, class advisor, etc.), tutoring but these are all jobs that are done outside of teaching and may take up much of your free time. Think about too that you will have grading and lesson planning outside of school hours. You may find that you're working more or just as much as you work now (with the exception of summers). I know that spending time with your family is important, but teaching is also a huge time commitment (especially as a newer teacher) and can also take time from family. A colleague of mine cannot do any work until after her young children go to bed, and can be up until midnight, and she has been teaching for almost 10 years. This takes time away from her hubby.
    This can put a huge strain on your relationship with your husband if he isn't 100% on board and supportive. I think you need to figure out a way to get him on board.
     
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  7. Kat.

    Kat. Companion

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    Jul 18, 2016

    I'm assuming you've had long and serious talks with your husband about him not "letting" you follow your dreams, correct? You hate your job and are miserable, he should be more understanding about that.

    Do things like tutoring and teaching in the summer. Work for private schools (at least here they pay more from what I've seen).
     
  8. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

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    Jul 18, 2016

    If your children are at different campuses, you will not be able to pick them up since most teachers have contract time after student dismissal. Teachers' kids can take a transfer bus to the campus the parent works at in most districts around here or the kids go to their school's after school care for a fee.

    Teachers frequently work hours after contract time. You may have an understanding of the huge time commitment teaching requires before school starts in the summer and during the year, but I couldn't tell for sure from your post. You will work more hours than your children are in school. A lot more.
     
  9. cocobean

    cocobean Companion

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    Jul 18, 2016

    As others have said, teaching doesn't start at 8:00 and end at 3:00. There is planning and other work that takes place before and after school. Teachers take plenty of work home and have to spend additional hours on campus.
    I'm sorry to hear your husband isn't on board. I wouldn't have been able to complete my degree, receive my credential and find a job without my husband's support and encouragement. You both need to sit down and address your budget, if/how you will be able to live on a lower salary, and just discuss the pros and cons of your career change!
    Best of luck.
     
  10. Pashtun

    Pashtun Fanatic

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    I absolutely believe one must find a career that they enjoy.

    If your kids attend the same school you work at the scheduling is amazing. There are so many teacher kids for my kids to play with after school that any after school work is not an issue. We just break out the paint, crayons, playground...etc. I work at an early start school in my district, so I love the idea that I can be home when my kids are out of school regardless of which school they attend. The teacher schedule is extremely family friendly.
     
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  11. agdamity

    agdamity Fanatic

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    Jul 18, 2016

    My daughter attends my school. I get much less work done because she interrupts me or has to be monitored. Everything takes twice as long. Imagine taking your four to your office and trying to get the same amount of work done in the same amount of time. There are other teacher kids, but the unsupervised ones tend to run amuck and get into trouble. The "dream" of how easy it would be to have her with me, isn't quite what I imagined. It is convenient in many ways, but it's not perfect.

    I wouldn't become a teacher to have my kids' schedule, because as others have said, teaching isn't as family friendly as the public generally thinks.
     
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  12. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Jul 18, 2016

    I can't even imagine a day when my hoosband gets to be the decision-maker about my career. Of course I'll seek out his input, but my career choices are my own.

    I think that what you've got here is a marital issue.
     
  13. stephenpe

    stephenpe Connoisseur

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    Jul 18, 2016

    If their bills are predicated on their salaries then they have to consider that. I took both my kids to my elem, school for 6 years. It worked out well. When they hit middle school they could go home alone from the bus. I spent much of the summers with them and my holidays were their holidays. It was great.
     
  14. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    I agree with Caesar. The day I have to get permission from my husband to do anything is the day some big changes happen in his life!
     
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  15. 2ndTimeAround

    2ndTimeAround Phenom

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    Jul 18, 2016

    I totally understand needing to get your husband on board before changing careers. My marriage is a partnership and if my husband quit his job and became a teacher, at half pay, I'd be furious if he didn't discuss it with me first. There are a lot of careers that I'd expect him to get my approval on before entering them. So I'm disagreeing with the above posters that are giving you (and him) crap about him not "letting you" become a teacher.

    However, I do agree with them about the time issue. You will have breaks off with your kids, but you will likely spend more time at/on work your first few years of teaching than you do at your current job. I don't know what you do now, but I've worked a bunch of different jobs in my lifetime, and teaching is by far the most stressful and emotionally exhausting of them all. It ties many jobs for being physically exhausting too.
     
  16. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    I do think they need to discuss things, as in any relationship, but I don't feel any one person in a relationship has the right to tell the other what they can and can't do.
     
  17. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Jul 19, 2016

    You need to have a conversation with your dh. "Letting" or "not letting" each other do something is just not language my husband and I use. Finances, family goals, hopes, dreams are areas in which you should be sharing realistic,shared visions and supporting each other. Good luck to you.
     
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2016
  18. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Enthusiast

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    Jul 19, 2016

    Heyo! As a man I appreciate this.
    :tongueclosed::man::clapping::clapping::handok:

    Aren't relationships, especially marriages, supposed to be about communication and compromise? If it's a choice between what your husband wants and your dream job, it's a very uncomfortable position. Especially if you choose one and resent the other. :down:
    Good luck.
     
  19. vickilyn

    vickilyn Magnifico

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    Jul 19, 2016

    I believe the phrasing is less than ideal by OP. If the couple has spent money, made financial commitments (thinking house, cars, credit card debt) that are based on both of their salaries, then I can somewhat understand hubbys reluctance to see that those same commitments will now have to be paid with a lot less take home pay, between the two of them.

    I also suspect that OP has not completely thought the plan through, actually investigated her expected arriving time at work, and compared that to dropping off and picking up 4 children, when there is no guarantee that she and the children will be in the same district, let alone school. Yes, the summer vacation would be more in sync, so that is a plus. However, if OP is having to take on more jobs to make up for the lost income in addition to the full time job, I suspect that will somewhat defeat the original purpose of spending more time with the children. Perhaps the husband sees these downsides, while OP is looking at everything through rose colored glasses.

    I agree that this would best be addressed in couples therapy - lots of issues here, and we only have part of the story. I teach by choice, but I didn't take a 50% pay cut to become a teacher. I think that counseling would be in order, but that has to be a decision the couple makes.
     

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