Dreading the new school year

Discussion in 'General Education' started by Hiyateacher, Aug 22, 2018.

  1. Hiyateacher

    Hiyateacher Rookie

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    Aug 22, 2018

    The school year hasn't even officially started and I am already feeling dread. I am literally sitting here in my classroom crying. I decided to come in a day early to start setting things up and the break down and lack of support and communication from my admin is already infuriating. I had the school year from hell last year and I was counting on this summer to relax, recharge, and become excited again about my profession. Instead I kept getting called in to facilitate meetings at school due to the nature of my position. So, I am coming in not feeling rested and recharged only to find out that another teacher took down some things that were set up in my classroom because they neglected to tell her that she was sharing the classroom with me this year. On top of that, I go into the main office to pick up some stuff and my P doesn't even say hello, welcome back, or acknowledge my existence. That was just the straw that broke the camel's back for me.

    I have not been teaching long at all but I feel like I have become the cynical, burnt out teacher that I promised myself I would never become. I am too young for this. I am envious of newer teachers and their excitement and enthusiasm. I wish I could have mine back. I want to find my love for teaching again. This is not a great way to start the year.

    Has anyone experienced this before? Is this unusual?
     
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  3. svassillion

    svassillion Companion

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    Aug 22, 2018

    Sounds like your current school is draining your spirit; you need to look for a new job. The right school could rekindle your enthusiasm for teaching.
     
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  4. otterpop

    otterpop Aficionado

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    Aug 22, 2018

    This is my year too. We've started already and actually I have a great group of students. I'm trying to tell myself to focus on the kids and block the rest out, but I really suck at it.

    The hard thing about teaching is that, unless you're willing to break your contract, you have to stay where you are until the next school year. I don't think your feelings are at all unusual, but they are probably a sign that you (and I) need to consider making a change next year.
     
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2018
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  5. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Comrade

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    Aug 23, 2018

    You're not alone, dear. I'm 28 years old, and this will be my fourth year teaching. I work at this ridiculously difficult district. You can see my other posts. Administration is HORRENDOUS, and everyone in the English Department is so cliquey and poisonous. Just before I left for summer break, you could hear them talking crap about me in the other room. It's like a "Mean Girls" scenario. What's scary is that they try to be supportive in the beginning, but many of them, including my co-teacher, are bff's with the vice principal, and they've sought so many ways to sabotage my classroom. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I've been called to the VP's office because of something my co-teacher didn't agree with.

    I work in the inner city, and the kids are a challenge. Every single day is a struggle to get out of bed and cope with these kids who have no desire to learn, who curse at you, who size you up, who sexually harass you, who don't appreciate you spending hundreds of dollars on books and supplies for them, etc. It's a nightmare. I've had three students ask me about my sexual history and when you write them up, admin doesn't do anything. "That's normal here," says the disciplinarian in the VP's office. Not to mention there's a 52 percent graduation rate. I've had ten out of fifteen kids in my last class fail English 1 because they're waiting to turn 16 to drop out. I had eight students under the age of 16 who were already parents and wanted to drop out so they can "be on welfare, like mama and abuelita." I go home most days wondering if I'm wasting my talent and love for the written word and children.

    But this doesn't mean you don't love the profession. You're probably just in the wrong environment. I'm definitely going to make a switch soon. Just relax, go in with a positive attitude, and love yourself, honey. You're there to service your kids, not make friends with admin. Do your thing! I pray that it'll be an amazing year for you. :heart:
     
  6. Obadiah

    Obadiah Groupie

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    Aug 23, 2018

    You seem to be on the right path towards stepping above your problem and working through it. Crying is our built in release of tension and emotions, so it is good that you have been crying. More importantly, you are determining specifically what the problem issues are. You are looking at the situation from a realistic viewpoint. This is very, very difficult to do while under stress, yet you are achieving in this. I'd recommend that now you need to see how you can realistically deal with the stress; instead of distress, turn it into prostress.

    It's important now to realize that you are not a professor at Hogwarts. There's no magic cure for any of what is occurring. You might not be able to stop the unwanted annoyances, but you can do your part and your duty. You can decide, "The rest of you might act like you're in a Looney Tunes cartoon, but I've got a real job to do with real students and real parents, and I'm going to do it, like it or lump it!" Part 2 of a strategy that I use (at some point we all face similar circumstances, if not in teaching, in other areas of life) I decide to treat those who mistreat me the same way I'd treat those who are kind to me. I figure there's no sense in lowering myself to their standards and mistreating them back, that's not me, so I'm kind to all. I'm especially cautious about losing my temper. Anger is a fire alarm in my head, not a trigger to vent. One person out of control is bad enough; if I lose it, then we have 2 people out of control. One of us has to stay in control of the situation, and as far as I'm concerned, it's going to be me.

    And to add to that, the yackity-yack of the media says it's the teachers' fault. It's not the teacher's fault. These kids are acting the way they've been brought up. For the most part, they are falling into the perpetual subculture that demeans education and promotes getting by as the way to get by. This subculture is reinforced by their peer group culture, then they become parents, and their children follow in their own peer group's subculture, so that the entire subculture regresses further away from education. From what I've read, this is not a racial situation, it's a demographic situation perpetuated by one's peer group. Modern society is facilitating the regression through recent (21st century) technology: smart phones are for media that beeps, bangs, and booms the same old same old and drowns out the novelty of learning. True, I've seen modern music videos that do positively promote thinking and understanding, (not my personal cup of tea in music, but worth looking at), but there's something to be said about Shakespeare, too, or Charles Dickens, or Nathaniel Hawthorne--even Sally Hinton. And then there are video games. In video game worlds, lower brain reactions are enough to conquer the enemies. In real life, the upper brain needs to logically think through situations. We don't have a pause button, a rewind button, or a fast forward button as on TV remotes. We don't have a mystical dispenser of game points on top of the screen. But we do have a brain, a magnificent brain, greater than any cell phone or X-box. And what energizes this brain? Books, first and foremost. Secondly, discussion. And first and secondly together, education.
     

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