Dreaded Shower...

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by JustMe, Jan 8, 2010.

  1. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Jan 8, 2010

    So, my sister-in-law's baby shower is tomorrow. I was hoping it would be cancelled because of the snow, but no such luck. :)

    She's the one who, when given a shower at work a few weeks ago, asked prior to the shower where the cake was from, was unhappy with the selection, and shared what she would prefer. She's also the one who asked that everyone buy her a storybook in place of a card, preferably one from Kohls with a matching stuffed animal, and write her and Baby a message inside. Which I didn't do, for the record. My mom, though, wrote a darling book sharing the story of the couple and announcement of Baby...and I illustrated it. She sure can't take that back if she doesn't like it. :p Which brings me to my point...

    I think I've shared she has a registry which she checks every single day, according to her, so she can see what people have bought her. She calls my mom three or four times a week updating her. For whatever reason, she thinks my mom bought her a more expensive item, but it was my sister who bought it. She should know that my mom cannot afford much currently, as my stepdad has been laid off work, and with mother being disabled...things are very difficult for them right now. Anyhow, the item that mom bought her from the registry, she no longer wants. She is also under the impression that my sister or I bought it for her, I suppose because it was less expensive. So, she told my mom this week she's found something she likes better, and that this has happened for a few items. Well, to make a long story a little shorter, she wants whoever bought the item to return it for her before the shower because, also according to her though I'm not sure if it's accurate and I really don't care, Target will only allow three returns from a registry even with a receipt. She's already planning on returning three items, so if we could return it for her, we'll save her, and I quote, "the hassle." She's sharing this with Mom so that hopefully she'll pass along the information to which ever one of us bought the item, me or my sister. As she's discussing this with my mom, Mom is of course the one now holding the unwanted gift. Mom, thankfully, didn't feel pressured to return the gift but now dreads the reaction tomorrow when it's opened. Mom hopes she feels embarrassed, but as I told Mom, she won't be...she'll be annoyed that she told Mom she no longer wanted the gift yet still got it.

    I really don't hate this girl, I really don't, but... :eek:hmy:
     
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  3. FarFromHome

    FarFromHome Connoisseur

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    Wow. I can't imagine calling anyone and suggesting they take a gift back (or pressure someone else to). She should have chosen somewhere else to register that would allow more returns if she's that indecisive.
     
  4. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    OMG, she would be lucky to get anything from me. Even my presence.
     
  5. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

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    Wow. I hope it is just the hormones making your sil so ill-mannered, unconsiderate, and spoiled.

    If not, plan to spend a lot of time with your precious niece/nephew as he/she will need some positive female role models! Poor baby!
     
  6. newbie87

    newbie87 Comrade

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    She should have choosed Toys R Us. They're amazing. You can do returns and if don't get all your things bought, you have the option of buying the remaining items for 50% off. Someone like this, I would just buy a gift card. It's clear she's very materialistic. I've dealt with people like this in my family and family friends. It seems some people get pregnant and think they're entitled to whatever they want whenever they want it. You can have expensive taste, but imo then you can pay for it.
     
  7. kimrandy1

    kimrandy1 Enthusiast

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    I'm sorry, but she sounds incredibly rude. A gift is a gift, and you should graciously accept it, no matter what. I know for my wedding showers, some of dh's aunts (on a fixed income) went to the dollar store and got me the cheapest kitchen towels and utensils ever. I also got a nice set of the same from Williams Sonoma. Did I say anything? Nope, I was gracious, I thanked them, I proclaimed how lucky I was to get not one but TWO spatulas! And then I donated the unwanted items to a woman's shelter later.

    Kim
     
  8. DHE

    DHE Connoisseur

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    I would also dread going to this shower. I am happy that your mother did not feel pressured to return the item. I can't wait for you to tell her reaction to your mother's gift. I think that she is going to be very upset with your mother for not returning the item, but I would let it be her hassle.
     
  9. MsMar

    MsMar Fanatic

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    Oh my! She needs to learn some manners.
     
  10. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Jan 9, 2010

    Drive mom to the shower.

    If Princess makes any sort of an issue over not loving mom's gift, develop a migraine and leave with mom-- immediately.

    Do NOT let mom be subjected to an adult having a tantrum.

    We've all been through the hormone thing. It's no excuse for rudeness-- it controls how you feel, not how you act on those feelings.

    There is no excuse for this sort of rudeness, and I would have a real problem exposing my mom to it.
     
  11. MuggleBug

    MuggleBug Companion

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    Wow, I'd like to be a fly on the wall to see her reaction when she realizes your mom is the one who bought her the gift. You're right - she'll probably be more annoyed than embarrassed but it would be nice if she got a bit of a reality check.

    Let us know what happens! I'll be curious.
     
  12. ecsmom

    ecsmom Habitué

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    Yes, please post an update after the shower!
     
  13. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    My sentiments exactly
     
  14. scienceteach82

    scienceteach82 Cohort

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    Jan 9, 2010

    Everytime I go to Kohls and see those books with matching animals, I think about your situation and laugh. Just can't believe it.
    I also can't believe she would actually call and say she didn't want the gift...wow.
    My Mom, best friend, and brothers g/f are planning my shower. The only thing I told them is that I don't want a Noah's Ark theme (the two by two thing), or a bunch of pink. Everything else will be a surprise, and I know I'll love it.

    yes, let us know how it was!
     
  15. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    That's funny, ST! :)

    The singular reason I'm going today is because my mom and little sisters would be unable to go otherwise. Sigh.

    I'll update you this afternoon! :)
     
  16. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    I like Alice's plan. If she gets nasty, develop a migraine and leave. I would never even dream of talking to my mother the way you've described, and y'all have heard all the stories about my parents. There's just no excuse for rudeness.
     
  17. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    I like the plan as well. You bring up a good point, mmswm...I've shared my share of stories about my "crazy mother" on here. She can be a pill! But like you, I would still never treat her this way. So rude, unappreciative, demanding. There is no excuse.
     
  18. sue35

    sue35 Habitué

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    Is it possible that your mother is twisting the story a bit? Or did you actually hear the sil tell her this? I just can't believe anyone would be so unappreciative, but I guess there are people like that in the world:(
     
  19. reverie

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    Wow, she sounds like someone I know. I have heard of people checking their registries, and I have done it too, only to delete some tools off of our Target wedding registry after receiving different ones for Christmas. But to obsessively check the registry, decide you don't want something anymore AND ask people to return what they've purchased is ridiculous. What if it had been a friend or another family member that had purchased that item? Did she expect your mom to call around to find out who it was? Aye...

    Good luck at the shower. I agree with the migraine idea.
     
  20. GoldenPoppy

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    Wow. She needs to learn that the only proper response to a gift is "Thank you."

    Good luck this afternoon. Keep your car keys handy.
     
  21. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    I have mentioned a few times that my little sister is 20 years younger than me, so when my mom had her, I threw the shower. this was the only pregnanacy that mom knew the sex of the baby, and she did not want TONS of pink, so she asked us to spread the word. Instead, she got TONS of purple. lol. Be careful what you wish for. lol
     
  22. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Not only would I never dream of speaking to my mom that way, I would not willingly put her in a position where someone else does so.

    So I think the migraine is the best thing. And if SIL knows you've never had a migraine before, so much better!!!

    Then take mom out somewhere nice for lunch.
     
  23. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    For a nice gift, a book on etiquette would be perfect. Maybe something by Miss Manners.
     
  24. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Perfect!!!!

    And put it in the "Wishing Well!!!!"
     
  25. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    Yep, hahaha.
     
  26. DHE

    DHE Connoisseur

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    Daisy what a lovely idea
     
  27. newbie87

    newbie87 Comrade

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    I went to a babyshower once. It was the woman's second one in less than three years. :rolleyes: She said "I had better not find generic stuff in the wishing well or there's gonna be hell to pay". Well, I went to Rite Aid and stocked up on generic baby wash, powder, and shampoo. :lol:
     
  28. Jem

    Jem Aficionado

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    Pardon, but what is a 'wishing well'? Is it like at a wedding where people stick the cards with money?
     
  29. newbie87

    newbie87 Comrade

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    Here, it's where you put assorted gifts that are small, in size and usually in price. Usually, people don't put their names and what not. I see a lot of like baby lotion, baby shampoo, washes, bath clothes, ect. The little thing, but things you need for everyday. Sometimes, I see diapers in the wishing well.
     
  30. Sheila

    Sheila Comrade

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    That is the first I have heard of a wishing well for a baby shower.
     
  31. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    I wonder how the shower is going/went?
     
  32. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    I have seen them where they requested you bring a book for baby to put in, or I also remember being invited to one where I think they requested you bring things to fill a baby first aid collection or something like that.
     
  33. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    Everyone I know had a wishing well for their bridal or baby shower. All they do is write "wishing well" on the bottom of the invitation and people can bring little gifts for them like baby powder or whatever. Usually there a fake wishing well at the party where you put the presents. Something you wouldn't necessarily wrap up as a present. I think those are the most fun to shop for but nobody is really obligated to participate (unless I just know very un-pushy people LOL).
     
  34. janlee

    janlee Devotee

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    When a staff member at my school is pregnant we always throw a small shower. One of the things we always do is a "Baby Book Basket". Each person is asked to bring a book. One teacher is in charge and you tell her the book you're bringing so there aren't any duplicates.
     
  35. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Okay. So we survived. :)

    It was in fact awkward when she opened the gift from my mother. She stumbled over her words. I think that even if someone didn't know the details of the situation, they could sense something was...off. I didn't think she'd be flustered by it, but she was...and that's actually a good thing. At least she has sense enough to feel embarrassed.

    Regarding the book issue...she asked each person, as she was handed the book and gift, if they had written something in it. That was a little awkward and I'm not sure why she asked because she didn't read any of the messages either to herself or outloud. It was almost as though she was checking to see who followed her directions.

    A few comments were made regarding her registry and her obsession with it. Someone said aloud with a laugh, "Well, you shouldn't be surprised. You checked the darn thing every day!" My sister-in-law just laughed and said, "You all will get me in trouble for being in the Internet at work". When she got the diaper bag she wanted and thanked the gift giver, the giver responded, "Well, you begged for it enough!" So clearly we're not the only ones who have been hearing about this shower for months. :)

    I must say that she really appreciated the storybook mom wrote and I crafted for her. And I was so glad because Mom put a lot of heart into it.
     
  36. SunnyGal

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    I'm glad the shower went well overall, and that she like the book that you and your mom made!
     
  37. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    I'm glad it went better than you anticipated.
     
  38. msmullenjr

    msmullenjr Devotee

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    Good, I was worried about the awkwardness that could have been much worse.
     
  39. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    I'm glad that it didn't go as badly as you had feared, and I'm glad she had enough sense to be embarrased when she got to your mom's gift.
     
  40. ecsmom

    ecsmom Habitué

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    Thanks for the update. Maybe the comments will teach her to think before speaking/acting. Glad she liked the book your mom made. :)
     
  41. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    My best friends gave me a baby shower, and since I asked for diapers--that was all I got. But, I did not have to buy diapers for months.
     

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