Drama-Part Deux-Need Advice

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by KinderCowgirl, Oct 4, 2009.

  1. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

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    Oct 4, 2009

    So I had a bit of an argument with a co-worker about 2 weeks ago. She and I have not spoken at all since (that's more her than me-I try to at least be professional and say "good morning", she doesn't respond.

    Anyway, so this past week she calls the Principal after school and tells him that I am e-mailing things to the whole grade level except her (never talked to me about this, so I'm not sure where she got this idea). We have to do common assessments, I created it based on the objectives decided on by the grade level, sent it to our grade chair and a bilingual teacher (to make sure everything would translate) to review and approve, then was planning on sending it out to the other 3 teachers but we met and I distributed copies of it then at the meeting-she was there. Explained this to P, forwarded him the e-mail.

    He met with her and talked about our situation-she was mad because the day after the argument happened I was "nice and bubbly to her, just to rub it in." :confused: So now she's complaining because I'm being professional? Doesn't that sound a little paranoid?

    Here's my question- do I request a meeting with one of the admins and her and just hash this out (I won't meet with her alone again) or do I just keep doing what I'm doing and hope eventually she'll forgive me for rolling my eyes at her (that's what she's hung up on-nothing to do with the fact that she called me names and raised her voice at me-she conveniently forgets that part).

    I didn't mean for this to get so long. Any thoughts? What would you do? I'm not good at confrontation, but I also don't want to spend a whole year having to defend myself. :help:
     
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  3. KLSSwimmer

    KLSSwimmer Habitué

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    Oct 4, 2009

    Personally, as long as the principal is "on your side," I would schedule a meeting with her and an administrator to hash it out. I personally don't like conflict, so I don't want to be involved in a constant argument with someone. I think that your coworker needs to put on her big girl panties and get a life. But just my opinion! Hope it all works out soon!
     
  4. KLSSwimmer

    KLSSwimmer Habitué

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    Oh, I also think that by trying to work out the conflict, with the administrator present, it would show the administration that you are honestly trying to work as a team, and not leaving her out. Btw, isn't she a first year teacher? This drama certainly can't be looking favorably on her being rehired next year. She needs to lay low!
     
  5. TeacherC

    TeacherC Connoisseur

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    Oct 4, 2009

    Oh, the drama- just like high school!!
    I think you should do what makes you feel more comfortable- would you rather meet with the admin. and square everything away, or would it make you feel better to just wait until things blow over?
    People that are so paranoid get under my skin- there are two teachers on my grade level who never get along- but it never goes beyond snippy comments-we have to be together everyday, so it's not worth fighting!
     
  6. gottagoodgig

    gottagoodgig Companion

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    Oct 4, 2009

    Meet with your principal and talk it out. It's gone on too long is neither professional nor healthy. Just as we would do with out kids, talk it out using "I statements". It's best for the kids if their teachers get along, or are at least courteous and professional. (And, like others have said....I'm really surprised that any teacher would act like this, much less a first-year! Crazy!) Jobs are tight and she needs to get a grip!
     
  7. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Oct 4, 2009

    Meet with your admin and her to get it all out on the table.
     
  8. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Oct 4, 2009

    I would try to keep the administrators out of this but unfortunately she has already involved them. Since the principal knows that you followed professional protocol with sharing your assessments, I think I'd just keep doing what you are doing. Maybe go to the P, tell him/her that you are sorry they got invited into something you are working out on your own and reassure them that you will continue to conduct yourself in the professional manner that they have come to expect from you.
     
  9. ~Nic~

    ~Nic~ Rookie

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    Oct 4, 2009

    I am not a teacher, but I have been in the workforce for, wow, a really long time. I'll just leave it at that. :) Anyhow, ITA with the above. I don't think the admin should play mediator in an obviously petty argument. Just continue what you are doing and the principal will see her for what she is: a petty, drama queen. Just apologize to your principal, shrug your shoulders and let the other one reveal herself. Your principal will get tired of her tattling and deal with that.
     
  10. scmom

    scmom Enthusiast

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    Oct 4, 2009

    If she is a first year that, hopefully, means she has a mentor. Maybe you could speak to her mentor, who should be advising her this isn't a good way to picked up for her second year.
     
  11. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

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    Can I just say - you guys are awesome! :thumb:

    Thank you for reading through the novel I posted originally and for your responses. I really appreciate the insight.

    It really does feel very much like HS! :rolleyes: I just forwarded some resources to the team and cc'd it to our admin-it's such a shame that I have to do that, but I'd rather cover myself and that way if she says it again, that she's not receiving, they have proof.

    czacza-it's so funny, I was thinking the same thing. Sorry you have to deal with this (he hates drama), just know I'll be professional.

    This is her 2nd year teaching, 1st in Kinder. When I was in her position, I never would have gone over a colleague's head (still wouldn't do that) especially with something so petty. She will spend her planning time in the lounge with other grade levels trying to eat lunch (they can't stand that). Gets to work right at the bell, takes her things out to dismissal so she can leave when her kids are gone. She has really contributed nothing to our team-not an idea, bulletin board, field trip activity, nothing. I think that's why the P may be on my side-he values work ethic.

    She has also gone all around the campus saying how horrible our school is-no support, no resources-no wonder my mentee quit (that one really hurt). It's all gotten back to the P and he talked to her about how passionate our teachers are about teaching and our school, that if she wanted to be liked, maybe she should stop badmouthing us.

    Her mentor is also part of our team and doesn't want to get in the middle, which I understand.

    Anyway, thanks again y'all! I appreciate your advice! :hugs:
     
  12. TiffanyL

    TiffanyL Cohort

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    Oct 4, 2009

    Just be careful that you don't start to make a name for yourself as someone who struggles to get along with others. If I recall, you had some major conflicts with two coworkers last year who have since moved.

    Remove yourself from this situation completely. Don't feed into the drama. Don't be half of the problem, be none of the problem. And, remember, anytime we are in the middle of a conflict, we are half of the problem.

    Lots of people have problems, issues, etc. They need to grow and mature. Don't allow yourself to be in "disbelief" of how unprofessional or immature this person may be. It is reality and the best educators are able to make those around them better teachers as well.

    Accept that and remove yourself from this conflict. Don't discuss it with others at school, don't involve yourself in the drama whatsoever. As far as you are concerned, there is no issue or problem. Any concerns that are brought to your attention can be alleviated with, "I am so sorry. I had no idea she felt that way."

    Trust me, she will get bored, move on from you, and find a new person to be in conflict with.
     
  13. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    Oct 4, 2009

    I agree with Tiffany. We have a conflict going on right now in my school. It's a long, drawn out story, but, right now our P is breaking every federal and state rule in the book regarding my classroom and class and I have completely stayed out of the situation except to say "yes, maam" and do whatever she says. Other teachers in the school see what is going on and they gossip all over the place. One teacher came to me and began yelling at me because I won't go over the P's head and complain (loudly). I just walked away and told her I'm just doing my job. I think Tiffany's advice will work for your situation, as well. Just do your job and stay clear of the drama.
     

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