Doozy of a year

Discussion in 'General Education' started by kfhsdramaqueen, Jun 18, 2010.

  1. kfhsdramaqueen

    kfhsdramaqueen Rookie

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2009
    Messages:
    48
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 18, 2010

    Well, I just need a place to vent because this year has been one for the books.

    Let's see, in September, I break my foot and am on wheels for 4 months. Due to my lack of mobility, I have to do less at home, and less at school, in terms of moving around. I have to depend more on my students than I would normally do. My husband realizes that he doesn't like have to take care of me, and informs me that I need to get off my a** and do more, because he's not happy.
    In January, my husband threatens to leave me and take my 4 year old son away from me forever because I spend too much money and time at my job and my "kids". He demands I quit theatre (even though I am the contracted theatre coach at my school). We scream and fight every night and I start sleeping no more than two or three hours a night.
    Throughout the entire year, I get nasty emails everytime a student has a bottle of water in my classroom, because we have a zero tolerance policy in our school for beverages of any kind, although my friend and colleague next door never gets the same nasty emails. Everytime a door is left unlocked in the auditorium, or a piece of paper is found on the floor, or a light is left on, I am blamed for it, even if I wasn't in the space the night before. My theatre program is shut down for two weeks because an outside group comes into the auditorium, leaves all the lights on, the doors unlocked, and leaves trash everywhere, but it was my fault.
    I have a class full of students who can't even be bothered to prepare a monologue for the class (its a theatre class), and when asked to lift a finger to sweep, they say they're going to chip a nail. And then the parents get angry at me that their child is failing, and receive phone calls every day.
    Every fundraising project I attempt for my theatre program is cut down, because it's not a car wash, a wrapping paper sale or something else of the sort. I try to schedule a preview performance of an upcoming production as a fundraiser, but I can't do it because it will interfere with testing (when testing is already done for the day), but Key Club can hold a talent show (with very little talent) that takes up 3 hours of a day right before midterms.
    I am the junior class sponsor, and its my fault that there was no ring dance, although it was that the students didn't pay for the tickets, nor did they pay their senior dues.
    I have parents pulling their child out of a show opening night with no warning, because they have a 93 instead a 94 in AP class. I have teachers spreading rumors about me, who then deny it when asked if they are the ones who said it.
    I have 40 AP kids who write at least two essays each a week (do the math, 80), and I get a phone call from my administrator that they are not graded, commented on, and put in the book within 48 hours, when I also have two theatre classes and one theatre ii class, plus coaching and a life outside of school.
    My lesson plans are not detailed enough. My writing folders are not complete, I make too many copies or use too much ink.
    I get no support here, and I can't talk to my husband, because he thinks I'm whining. I will say, I get support from most of my parents, and most of my kids are not a problem.
    And yet, I still want to come back next year. yeah that summer is here!
     
  2.  
  3. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2006
    Messages:
    27,534
    Likes Received:
    6

    Jun 18, 2010

    Ohhhhh.... sit down and read the highlights of the last two years:


    In June 2008 I realized there was a LARGE lump in my breast. Overnight apparently, a Phyllodes tumor grew there. They're rare; my oncologist has only seen 3, ever. I asked my family doctor to look at is, as I was there for brohchitis. He gave me the phone number of a surgeon and an antibiotic for the bronchitis.

    Turns out I was allergic to the antibiotic. I went to the ER when my throat closed up on me and I couldn't breathe.

    In July I had a surgical biopsy.

    On September 10, I had a mastectomy. The tumor was 10 cm in diameter. That same day, my father in law fell and went into the hospital.


    On the 11th, I was released. Half an hour after I arrived home, we got a phone call that my father in law was dying. (His health had always been poor, and the injury was just too much.

    Eight days later, he passed away. My husband spent those 8 days alternating between helping me (we have 3 kids, and I was under strict instructions "not to lift anything heavier than a tea cup." Yeah, right.) and driving 45 minutes to bring his mom, who doesn't drive, back and forth to see dad at the hospital 20 mintues away. Peter was absolutely heroic during those 8 days.

    Let's see... that was September. Thanksgiving weekend, my kids had 2 sleepovers with their cousins. That Monday, my daughters were both sent home with head lice. Julia had apparently picked them up in the movies the weekend before. My sister was thrilled.:rolleyes:

    A week later, the babysitter was in a severe car accident.(Helen has, thankfully, recovered fully). We were without a steady sitter until after New Years (and, yes, we both work full time.)

    Christmas Eve morning, I received my first radiation treatment of 29.("Ummm, doctor? What do you mean, the 24th??? That's Christmas Eve!!! You DO realize that I'm Santa, right?????")

    Ten treatments later, I had a pregnancy scare on the day of my annual review by my chairman. (And, yes, I'm Catholic. With 10 radiation treatments, I still would not have aborted that baby. Peter was once again heroic when he said; "Alice, God has given us 3 healthy kids. If we have one that's not healthy, we'll cope.") I can't for the life of me tell you a single thing I taught that period. Fortunatley, the scare was a false alarm. The people here were wonderful about praying for me, not having any idea exactly what they were praying for.

    By February, the radiation burns were bad enough that the radiation oncologist told me I couldn't wear a bra for 2 weeks. "Ummmm, doctor??? You KNOW I teach in a coed high school, right??? And you KNOW that they're only doing reconstruction on the right side??? And that the left side is a typical 51 year old breast??? The kind that NEEDS a bra????" "Yep, Alice, I know all that. But if the skin breaks, you're suseptible to infection." So braless (though blazered and buttoned) it was.

    In March, Peter came home one day before I got home. He walked in to find that our 6 year old dog had died.

    On April 6, I had reconstruction surgery. I was home for 2 hours before mom called. My niece's 2 year old daughter had died n her sleep.

    I went to see my oncologist in May. He asked about the goiter on my Thyroid, and sent me to an endocrinologist.

    In July I had the last of the reconstruction surgeries

    On September 1, I had half my thyroid removed. In the hospital that night, with the 9/11 coverage beginning, I dreamt that I was the flight attendant on the flight that was brought down over PA, and that my throat had been slit. I cried all night, and every time I recounted the nightmare for the next 3 days.

    And this past Monday, I had my annual mamo. They found another lump-- this time on my left side (and thankfully much smaller, only 1 cm.) Surgery is scheduled for June 29th.

    That will be surgery #6 in just under 2 years.

    Through it all, my family and the people with and for whom I work have been remarkable!
     
  4. TiffanyL

    TiffanyL Cohort

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2003
    Messages:
    617
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 18, 2010

    Dramaqueen,

    If you read through many of Alice's posts throughout the past year or so, you will find that amid all of her trials and tribulations, she still managed to put her family and students first and is a better teacher than most who have no issues in their life.

    Challenges make you stronger and wiser. Regardless of what you have gone through this year, stand tall and put forth your very best.
     
  5. Teacher Chele

    Teacher Chele Habitué

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2007
    Messages:
    991
    Likes Received:
    1

    Jun 18, 2010

    And people say we have the summer "off"...we need it to recouperate even if we haven't had serious health issues. Stand strong. Let's committ to praying for our fellow forum groupies throughout the summer and the school year.
     
  6. Aussiegirl

    Aussiegirl Habitué

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2007
    Messages:
    840
    Likes Received:
    8

    Jun 18, 2010

    Well said!
     
  7. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2006
    Messages:
    27,534
    Likes Received:
    6

    Jun 18, 2010

    Oh, there were plenty of pity parties that I simply didn't post about. I'm a cryer by nature-- it's how I relieve stress. (And it's cheaper than therapy and safer than booze.)

    I guess my point was that "difficult" is all relative.

    I know of several people here who could put my "black cloud" period to shame. At least I've come out of it (mostly) whole. Poor Ellen was killed in a car accident-- she never had the chance for things to turn around.

    Venting is healthy. It gets all that bad energy out, and helps you move forward. I understand that. And if that's all your post was, a vent, then I apologize for mine.

    In light of your other post, I was concerned that yours was an attempt at an excuse, or justification, of the incident at school. And that's another matter entirely.
     
  8. schoolteacher

    schoolteacher Habitué

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2009
    Messages:
    771
    Likes Received:
    1

    Jun 18, 2010

    You have spent a long time listing everything that is going wrong in your life. What is going well in your life?

    The more you dwell on things that are going wrong, the more you miss out on all of the little miracles that take place everyday. These are the things that make life worth living.

    If you put your focus on them, you will be surprised at how the good things in your life then begin to multiply.
     
  9. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2001
    Messages:
    24,959
    Likes Received:
    2,116

    Jun 18, 2010

    I think Alice's post is a clear example of the story that says if we all put our problems and concerns in buckets and the buckets were spread before us, we'd still pick our own bucket once we saw what others deal with (successfully and positively and with a sense of humor, in Alice's case). :love:
     
  10. kimrandy1

    kimrandy1 Enthusiast

    Joined:
    May 8, 2005
    Messages:
    2,181
    Likes Received:
    1

    Jun 18, 2010

    Alice, I know I don't read EVERY post, but I missed this last development in your medical case. I'm so sorry, but I know you'll continue to fight on with strength and grace. Lean on us. I will pray for you.
     
  11. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2006
    Messages:
    27,534
    Likes Received:
    6

    Jun 18, 2010

    Hey, guys, don't canonize me. (You have to be dead for that!)

    I didn't choose this black cloud, I just got through it. If I were making choices, they would involve a cleaner house and an immediate trip to Disney to relieve stress. :)

    Seriously, though, thanks for all the kind words. I'm fine, really.

    And dramaqueen, I hope things improve, both at work and at home.
     
  12. Teaching Grace

    Teaching Grace Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2005
    Messages:
    1,731
    Likes Received:
    3

    Jun 18, 2010

    I will be praying for all of you! I know that things are difficult right now. My first year seemed insane (not as bad as your situation at the moment but almost impossible for me) and I made it. Faith helps a lot and definitely focusing on the positives would probably help a great deal as well. Focus on your son and how amazing he is, plan on how to make your year better next year, can you make/recycle/reuse things that you will need for next year? I hope it all gets better!
     
  13. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2005
    Messages:
    5,291
    Likes Received:
    755

    Jun 18, 2010

    I can sympathize with being on wheels. It's hard to get everything done when it is a hundred times harder to do basic day to day chores. But things can always be worse!
     
  14. Go 4th

    Go 4th Habitué

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2006
    Messages:
    942
    Likes Received:
    1

    Jun 18, 2010


    I really don't mean to be ugly but it does sound a bit like you are whining. I'm sure that between these issues and the one on the other post, it has been a really tough year. Now that it's over, or almost over, maybe you could focus on where to go from here. Focus on what needs to be done for improvement. Take some time to reflect on the year and your role in these situations. It's hard at times to know that we could have done something differently or better. That's very hard to admit to ourselves and others sometimes. You said in the other post that your principal has already put you on watch for this year. Was it just because of the word that was said or did it have anything to do with these other issues? Maybe after taking some time to reflect, you should go talk with her about ways to improve the coming year. Start off being proactive with communication. Letting her know that you realize this year was not what it should have been and that you don't want another repeat. For me, I would feel a lot better to address the issues and then look for ways of improvement.

    Have you looked into a marriage counselor? Fighting all the time isn't healthy for any of you. And even 4 year olds can pick up on the tension. Lack of sleep also will skew your perspective on everything.

    Good luck to you! I'm glad you found A to Z. There are a lot of really awesome teachers who can offer support and guidance!
     
  15. smurfette

    smurfette Habitué

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2008
    Messages:
    895
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 19, 2010

    Someone mentioned this on the other thread, and I noticed it, too. You might want to change your user name. It only takes about 15 seconds to find you on Google.
     
  16. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

    Joined:
    May 19, 2007
    Messages:
    6,757
    Likes Received:
    1,718

    Jun 19, 2010

    Actually, it was the first item on google for that search.
     
  17. lindita323

    lindita323 Companion

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2008
    Messages:
    197
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 19, 2010

    Alice-

    I just want to say that I think you are amazing. I always enjoy reading your posts. Take care :O)
     
  18. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2001
    Messages:
    24,959
    Likes Received:
    2,116

    Jun 20, 2010

    Wow.
     
  19. cheer

    cheer Comrade

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2007
    Messages:
    406
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 20, 2010

    ohh my

    OHH MY! OHH MY. Someone was looking for a safe place to vent and got slammed. WOW makes one think about venting on this web site.
     
  20. smurfette

    smurfette Habitué

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2008
    Messages:
    895
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 20, 2010

    I included the time it took to click through the school website, too. I know that everyone needs to vent from time to time (I have definitely been venting to my loved ones this year), but those being vented about don't always take kindly to it. I hope things improve for the OP, but if her coworkers see this, I don't think it will.
     
  21. Missy99

    Missy99 Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2008
    Messages:
    1,845
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 20, 2010

    I agree we all need to be able to vent -- but it should be done as anonymously as possible, which it wasn't, in this case.
     
  22. Teachling

    Teachling Groupie

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2008
    Messages:
    1,488
    Likes Received:
    3

    Jun 20, 2010

    Alice, I had no idea! The posts I come across (you) are so always positive. I so agree with Kimrandy. Frankly, I don't know what I would feel if I were in ur shoes or kfhsdramaqueen. kfhsdramaqueen, perhaps something here somehow can give you comfort or help. My best to you.
     
  23. krysmorgsu

    krysmorgsu Cohort

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2008
    Messages:
    685
    Likes Received:
    1

    Jun 20, 2010

    Alice,
    Sorry to hear about the latest trial for you. Good luck!

    Dramaqueen,
    I think you really need to take some time to discover some of the positives in your life. We all need to vent, but it doesn't seem like you see anything positive in the last year. Without the positive, it's easy to slip further and further into the negative. Keep your chin up, and concentrate on fixing your family now. After all, they're what matters the most.
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. Samantha Bright
Total: 280 (members: 2, guests: 252, robots: 26)
test