Does anyone else not want to go back?

Discussion in 'Debate & Marathon Threads Archive' started by Pisces_Fish, Jun 30, 2011.

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  1. Pisces_Fish

    Pisces_Fish Fanatic

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    I'm not trying to start a depressing thread. I'm fully aware my summer break has only just begun, and I have a lot to look forward to in the coming weeks.

    But looming inside me is the feeling of dread when I think about returning for my 4th year this fall. I find this strange, because in the past I've not felt this way. I never felt ready to go back and start orientation, but setting up my room and getting my roster was always something I sorta looked forward to.

    Not this year, however. I've been on monster.com perusing the postings. Not for anything in particular, just seeing what's out there.

    I love the kids. I have a great admin. My school is pretty cool....but the politics! the hoops! the testing! the lack of funds! scraping by on 2 jobs just to pay the bills!

    Sometimes I wonder if this year will be my last, and it really saddens me. Several of my teacher friends left this year to do something else. I know several other teachers who want to leave but are too close to retirement to warrant it. Like me, they love teaching but hate all that comes with it.

    I wonder how many worthy teachers will leave because we can't get it 'right.'
     
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  3. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    What is it that doesn't feel 'right'....is it the hoops, testing, et al that you listed above or is it something else at the core of your dissatisfaction? :hugs:
     
  4. callmebob

    callmebob Enthusiast

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    PFish, I am there with yah. Every year previously I atleast felt rejuvinated or excited to start new and fresh. This year, there will be no joy in going back. Its not about the teaching, you are right, it is all of the other things we have to deal with or do.
     
  5. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    I feel you. Exactly.
     
  6. Go 4th

    Go 4th Habitué

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    I wonder if it is something about starting our 4th year because I feel similar. I'm not dreading go back, just dreading going back so soon. I've got about 3 weeks left of summer before pre-planning.

    For me, the shine is off of the fun stuff--rosters, seating, decorations, etc. Now, the focus is on the meat and potatos part--becoming more rigorous in my assignments, deepening my knowledge of content, etc. Not the fun stuff, but the more meaningful stuff.

    Last year was pretty rough for me. I'm a bit nervous about my grade level team and praying for us to come together as a TEAM. That is probably the majority of my concerns to be honest.

    I think we all relax so much in the summer and it's so nice to not have to run around like chickens with our head cut off. My goal this year is to only surround myself with people who bring me up and make my classroom better. Of course, I can't completely block out all the negative people, but I CAN limit the amount of space they take up in my brain. It's going to go in one ear and out the other!!! I'm no longer giving them power over me. It distracts from the joy of my students and the real reason we are here.
     
  7. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    I'm so sorry to read that.

    While I'm LOVING vacation, I always look forward to the start of a new school year.
     
  8. MissScrimmage

    MissScrimmage Aficionado

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    I just finished school today and I'm already dreaming about the fall. I'm changing grades, which I am super excited about. Perhaps a change is necessary to rejuevenate your passion??
     
  9. historynut

    historynut Rookie

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    :yeahthat:

    You know what's funny? I hate change in my personal life, but I adore it in my professional life. Grade change, subject change, anything might get you excited again.
     
  10. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    We have our class party tomorrow, and then we are done for the summer. I am looking forward to a new year, and am really sorry that many are not. It is sad when someone does not feel satisfied in what they do in a daily basis. I wish for the best in your new year.
     
  11. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    I don't think it's a secret on here that I really dislike my job and I have said quite a bit that I will be going back to school and starting another field other than education.

    What's funny is I am actually having the opposite reaction now. I keep thinking of fun lessons and things I will miss about teaching and I have reaffirmed that I AM a good teacher.

    But then I am gradually reminded of what I hate about this job and public education in general and I sort of have a reality check that makes me not want to go back. But I am thinking about going back to school for my Phd in ed policy instead of something else like I was planning.
     
  12. Marci07

    Marci07 Devotee

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    Last year I wasn't that excited since I wasn't very happy about leaving my old school. I know this coming year may be one of me most challenging ones I've every had. I'm glad to know this ahead of time and I hope that I start the year well prepared. I'm looking forward to the challenge and at the same time I'm nervous.

    Sorry that you feel this way. I know that I felt the same this year that just ended and I had to motivate myself. Can you come up with a plan to mentally prepare yourself to face the thing/things that bother you?
     
  13. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    I feel the same way. This is the first year that I have taught that I haven't spent time in my room this summer. I haven't been up there once. I can't stand the thought of going to the school. I posted a comment on facebook and the comments came pouring in...the best was a student that I had that graduated this year...he told me I was his favorite teacher of all time...I had him and his two sisters in 2nd grade. He then told me he remembers promising me a room in his house that he is going to build someday. And he wanted me to know that he would stick to it. His note and several others have went a long way in giving me faith and the want to go back.
     
  14. mopar

    mopar Multitudinous

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    I sure hope that with some time off, you begin to feel rejuvenated! I know that I usually feel this way before school even ends. Good luck finding that motivation!
     
  15. Teaching Grace

    Teaching Grace Connoisseur

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    I'm sorry you feel that way! I dread going back because I'm loving having my two little ones home with me :)
     
  16. montanadreaming

    montanadreaming Rookie

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    I have had that feeling since before we got out for summer. I want to teach, I love it, look forward to it. However, the hoops and politics not so much. Rumor has it our principal is twisting down the screws on the teachers this year and that is why so many moved grade levels. I am not sure in the state of our economy if there is any state that has openings as teaching is my heart. I just keep reminding myself of what I love about teaching, the kids.
     
  17. Pisces_Fish

    Pisces_Fish Fanatic

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    Honestly, I've been thinking so much about this lately, and the vast majority of things that bug me all boil down to paper. Yes, paper.
    • measly paper paychecks
    • limits on the copies I can make
    • RtI paperwork
    • documenting everything (such as conferences)
    • End of Grade tests (paper packets!)

    I could think of more, but that proves my point for now, I think.
     
  18. Bella2010

    Bella2010 Habitué

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    I'm kind on the fence about it. I'm also going into my fourth year. I'm thinking of new things that will hopefully make this next year go better than the last, which was awful. So, I'm looking forward to seeing if these new ideas make things better, and I'm excited to meet my new students. On the other hand, I'm not looking forward to going back and facing the cliques; the politics; the "who's who" students and parents; assemblies that accomplish absolutely nothing; and administration that stays in his office with the door closed 90% of the time. I'm also going to miss my little boy. :( Oh, and the changes to the uniform policy I am not excited about at all. :mad:

    Beth
     
  19. callmebob

    callmebob Enthusiast

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    Your admin stays in his office 90% of the time? I would atleast look at the positives of that.
     
  20. Peachyness

    Peachyness Virtuoso

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    For me, I lost my love of teaching when I had to go through non reelection process where I resigned instead of going through that route. My principal had an agenda and I was forced to quit a perfect job at the perfect school. That was when I realized that no matter how wonderful of a teacher I am, how much work I put into my job, how much money I spend on my students out of my own pocket, that if your boss has an agenda... ulterior motives, then it doesn't matter at all.

    And that was when I hated the teaching profession.

    Since then, I was able to get a job back at that school when my old principal was forced to resign (talk about karma). But still, what I went through really hurt and made me pretty jaded.
     
  21. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    At least you now know for sure that it WAS NOT YOU that was the problem. The problem was removed and you were welcomed back. There has to be something to that.
     
  22. Peachyness

    Peachyness Virtuoso

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    Oh yes! I did feel some justice was made. But, it's just it scared me into thinking that there are too many circumstances that are out of my control. That no matter how great of a teacher I am, that one single person can make the decision to get rid of you.
     
  23. MzQualified

    MzQualified Comrade

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    Well, there are plenty of us over in the job seeker section that would gladly take your place. You should be grateful that you have something to "go back to."
     
  24. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Be kind. She moved away from that school due to her husband's relocation and had to start from scratch anyway.
     
  25. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    I am sorry you don't have a job, but you don't have the right to tell someone how to feel. I have had the year without a job, the year with a 1/2 time position, the year that I lost money after I drove 41 miles one way and paid a babysitter, and the year that I was let go in March. We all have paid our dues in some fashion, but your comment bothers me. I have had a rough summer. My house was hit by a tornado, I lost a love one, I had a biopsy last week looking for uterus cancer, and I have been sick for over two weeks. NO ONE has the right to decide how I or anyone else should feel. I have a right to question if I am going to be in a healthy place when school starts.:2cents:
     
  26. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    mrachelle, PLEASE keep us up to date on a separate thread if you're up to it. We care about you a great deal and want to make sure you have the full support your deserve. SO many hugs to you, as someone who has had issues with cervical cancer (so far, only two iffy biopsies and none for two years).
     
  27. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    I feel bad for anyone who doesn't have a job, but you also have to remember that the less hiring and more laying off they do, the more miserable our jobs become. It's unfair when districts pit us against each other - making us feel bad about other people getting laid off so they force us into retirement or into re-negotiating our contracts early so we can take a pay cut. I feel bad for the people losing their jobs, but it is the DISTRICT/ADMIN/POLITICIANS who have mismanaged the field of education, not the fellow teachers.
     
  28. SCTeachInTX

    SCTeachInTX Fanatic

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    Sounds like you have been through a really tough time. I will keep you in my prayers and hope that you conquer your health issues. People really do care. That is the good thing about this forum. We can make our comments and express ourselves freely. Others may not like our opinions. But it is our right to have them even if others do not agree. :hugs:
     
  29. kimrandy1

    kimrandy1 Enthusiast

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    I felt like this last year. It was the first year I've ever felt that way, and I had been teaching for 15+ years. I pushed through it and it was a good, if not great year. I'm feeling more positive this year...that was definitely just a bump in the road. We're getting a new reading curriculum this year and I think that's exactly the little challenge I need to make the school year exciting!
     
  30. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

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    I'm dreading going back a little because I'm expecting to have at least 35 kids in each class, except for speech 2, which will have only 18. That will give me a total of 193 students! Also, I will have 3.5 preps (one is the same class, but general and honors, so still pretty similar.) I expect it to be intense, but good.
     
  31. mopar

    mopar Multitudinous

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    Pieces---I agree that the paperwork can get in the way of truly loving the job! It's difficult when you feel you spend all your time with the paperwork side of things and not teaching students. But think of the students who will miss out on a great teacher if you leave.

    I must think that your feelings are normal, especially with being in your fourth year. So many teachers do not make it past their fifth year.

    And as for administration who stays in their office 90%+, that is a terrible thing. Yes, you may have more freedom in the classroom, but how sad for the teachers and students!
     
  32. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

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    I also am not excited yet to go back. I'm moving classrooms again (did it last year too). Mid-year they are going to open our new school, which is good, but I look at all the work of moving into and setting up a new classroom a 2nd time.

    Our evaluation process is now going to be based 50% on test scores :mad: and the rest on extensive observations/checklists throughout the year (the training alone for this process is going to take 2 days:eek:). We have to have assessible goals for each student and be able to show they met them as part of our evaluation (more paperwork-I always said teachers need secretaries ;)). And I could go on.

    I'm hoping when I start planning the excitement will kick in.
     
  33. mopar

    mopar Multitudinous

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    Wow, kinder! I'm sure hoping my district doesn't go this route. And yes, teachers do need secretaries!
     
  34. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    My last day was yesterday. I had a very difficult time getting motivated to clean up my room. Am I excited about fall? Not yet. Dreading it? No. I'm also teaching summer school, but only 1/2 time. That gives me only 2 weeks off.

    It was good to hear positive comments from parents when we did our kindergarten promotion. I really should write them down.

    I am thinking about making some changes for next year. I'm hoping that will excite me. Right now, I'm not thinking about it & I'm going to finish the grad class I'm taking, must have it done by Monday or take an incomplete.
     
  35. Marci07

    Marci07 Devotee

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    I agree. I was wondering about hiring someone to help with organizing or filing stuff. I may look into that this year.
     
  36. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    I don't want to go back TODAY....I'm only one week into summer vaca. I do love my job and will be excited to get the year rolling with my new class come September, though.:cool:
     
  37. ybmiuq

    ybmiuq Rookie

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    nepotism and/or being to good

    It depends on the school. I have been bouncing around for a number of years. I spent eitht years at one school where is was pretty good for awhile then went down hill fast with changes of principals. I have taken some jobs just for the job - like teaching elementary or middle school. In some schools the principals seem like they hate the teachers, some the principals seem to not know what's going on and makes friends with intimidating teachers. Some summer vacations have been horrible with dread of going back, some have been great and I have spent all summer preparing and looking forward to returning.
    With the current economy people seem to feel under the gun. In one case I know of, a friend of the administration needed a job and there is strong evidence the administration ran off one of the best teachers to make room. There has apparantly been a lot of nepotism at that high pay school before. This makes the other teachers suspicious. It causes worry through the summer as well as during the school year.
    In another school we had an african american teacher - smartest teacher there. In a professional development meeting, after long awkard pauses she kept answering all of the Stanford professor's questions. Finally the professor said something like "well I guess you are the only one that knows." This african american teacher humbly and quietly replied that she didn't know everything, but since no one else was answering it seemed awkard and she felt compelled to answer. Since then the administration and a number of other teachers seemed to be seething with hate toward her. She finally resigned. This is another thing that makes it more difficult to enjoy the summer.
     
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2011
  38. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Why mention the teacher's race?
     
  39. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    Yesterday was our last day (it was the class party), and I am already collecting online resources for next year. I will have an extremely challenging class next year and am quite excited. I hope to grow, as this next year will be much different. The school is putting the most difficult students in my class, so I know I will have my work cut out for me. I look at this as an opportunity to grow, and make wonderful changes.
     
  40. mopar

    mopar Multitudinous

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    Tami, this situation would get the best of most teachers! I am so glad that you have a positive attitude and are already looking for ways to improve! It is refreshing to see a teacher up to this challenge and I can't wait to hear about your year next year!
     
  41. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    I was a resource specialist for just a yr & a sub for a very long time. I sure don't want to return to subbing again next yr & I don't think I'll have to this time! :)
     
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