hello everyone.. I read these posts on here every once in a while and they always make me feel better to hear other people feel the same way so I decided to join the site, which I just did.. I just wanted to know if any other first year teachers feel as clueless as I still do. I seriously feel like I don't really don't what I'm doing. I just feel like I do not know HOW to teach any of the things that I teach. And I feel like I teach a little of this and a little of that and nothing goes together and I am just flailing around without any order to anything. I feel like it's normal to feel somewhat clueless the first year, but to THIS degree? I feel like some of it may have to do with the fact that I got my degree almost 4 years before I even started teaching and it was from another state. But I also have had a very difficult year and reading what some of the people on here have said about being so anxiety-ridden and sick about going back to school is me to a T! I get up at 4:30 every morning (usually am awake at about 3:30 though), am at school by 6:30 and I usually leave at about 6:00. I get so tired of other teachers or even the principal telling me to go home and relax - I want to say "unless you want to teach my class for me, I HAVE to get this stuff done!" I can't figure out how they think I can just breeze in there and out at a decent time and get all the crap done I have to get done. I can't just not be prepared for the next day!! I never really even feel very relieved to have it be the weekend (because it just means more work to do) except for the fact that I get two days away from school! I don't feel that comfortable in front of my class, either, I feel like. Is this normal? This is getting long and jumping around a lot, but the reason why I've had a really hard year so far is that it's a Renaissance school (lower than a Title 1), a reading first school (had never heard of that before this year), it got an F last year so there's mounds of data to constantly have to send off to the state, AND... I got handed all of the ESE (special ed) kids in the grade as well as a lot of ESOL (ESL) kids AND my school neglected to hire an ESE teacher to help support these kids so I had all of them and no support whatsoever..Plus, I have several severe behavior problems, including a child who has had to be restrained by the the asst. Principal on multiple occasions! Anyway, the first nine weeks were terrible.. well then this lady who had a self-contained 2nd grade class OFFERED to have me move my entire class in with hers fulltime so that she could help and we could teach together! This lady is an absolute saint and if it wasn't for her I wouldn't be there any longer! Anyway.. my whole point to this was to see if anyone else feels as clueless about what and how to teach as I do and feels like they're just scattered all over the place with the adademic part of it. I actually feel like a fraud telling people that I'm a teacher when people ask me what I do because I feel like I'm so terrible at it and not doing enough/anything that well! Let me knwo if anyone can relate!..